Some Forums an Sites are Really Mean

Jules said:
I’ve been on lots of forums or social sites and there‘re always disagreements. That’s not bad if people are civil about it.

The very worst I’ve found over the years are home decorating or design sites for small homes, etc. Some people are really vicious.

They say things like:
‘your home is so ugly, I don’t know how you live in it’,
’rip out cabinets, countertops and floor’. The person might just have asked for a suggestion for a wall paint colour.
etc, etc, etc.

Even making a comment that it would be nice if people were nice to each other gets an attack. ‘How dare you; we’re allowed to say what we want’

Have you joined sites that it was too hostile to participate or remain. I must admit, I still return to the decorating sites; not a bats’ chance that I’ll ever post anything anymore. Thank goodness for the interesting and nice posts.
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Yes! I joined a saxophone site where a good portion of the people had saxophone businesses. It could get hostile at times
 

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A few years ago I joined a FB group that was about my hometown that I grew up in but haven't lived there since 1975. I enjoyed seeing/reading about what was going on in my town and what new businesses were starting up, etc. Then, one day someone posted about the planetarium building that was built right down town and how it was an eyesore architecturally compared to the rest of the town. I (stupid me) commented that I wondered why that particular structure was picked because it didn't fit in.

Well, I got blasted by some young guy that called me an "old b..ch" and said I was trying to ruin his memory of his town and I must hate my life, etc., etc., etc.! WTH?? It upset me so much. I referred his comment to the moderator of the group but she never said or did anything so I left.
 
I began my entry into the Internet through joining photography sites. I had bought a new digital camera. Thinking websites were just the same sort of groups as the photography church group I had joined also I was surprised how nasty the website participants were. In photography there is a real hierarchy depending on the camera one owns. But, in the church group we didn't care about that. Not so in the website groups.

As for behavior on the Internet in general I think people enjoy the anonymity of it. They can just sit back and let their alter ego run wild. Most would never behave the same way in public or where their behavior could be traced back to them.

As I remember, Google shut down its Google + site to public use because of the bad behavior that was displayed. I've always remembered that very responsible thing a corporate giant did. This is why I give little credibility to FB and its owner; better behavior is called for on their part and won't budge. They could if they wanted to.
 
CallMeKate said:
I've been under the impression that people who say things purposely to start arguments or upset others are trolls... things that the poster knows will cause controversy... "trolling around" for contention. People I don't like I have other names for. ☺️
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Trolls are members who make accounts to deliberately stir the pot ? I guess some people like controversy. If it’s their main choice of communication, it can be disruptive.

I had to look up contention. 🤓

I try hard not to categorize members cause anyone can have a bad day.
 
Della said:
Wow. Decorating sites? I'll bet they've watched too many of those HGTV shows and now they think they're house flippers and all they need is a sledge hammer and a big dose of arrogance -- like the stars of those shows! LOL I see this on YouTube when people show tours of their homes. If the commenters see something like wall-to-wall carpeting (like I have) they'll talk about how "nasty" it is. They must think we all have endless amounts of money so that we can re-do everything every other year when styles change.

Just go on the My Fitness Pal site, like I did once, and dare to tell them that you've been following the same diet for months and where you were once losing you're now either staying the same or gaining. They will not hesitate to tell you you're lying and must be failing to log everything you eat. Most of them are young and the weight just falls off like it once did for me.

I love message boards and have belonged to all sorts, Christian sites, TV Shows, Classic Movies, Political sites, on and on. Guess where I was often dog piled and told to f-off and die? That's right, the Christian sites. :rolleyes: A lot depends on the moderator and what he/she will tolerate.
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Long ago as child I was told to never discuss either politics or religion to anyone because there is always an argument. Your comments indicate that you had the most trouble when discussing both of these subjects. That is not surprising to me. So, you may like to learn what is best avoided in discussions with others. I did.
And I must report to you that it is true what is best to avoid.
 
I've been active on forums for decades. I got banned for 7 days once in all that time, but even that was from being misunderstood. People, look the word "ignorant" up in the dictionary. It is a specific word with a specific meaning describing a specific condition about something, not an insult. Sheesh.

I can come off as a jerk and a half, and most of that is probably from not hiding how I feel. Sure, I've gone off the deep end from time to time. But owning your shit and being able to laugh at yourself surely counts for something?

Forum posts can be a mirror. Sometimes people see ugliness reflected back at them and then negatively flinch. Even an honest query expressed in a bald manner can be taken as a personal slight when it was actually a sincere and yearning request to please share one's personal wisdom about a deep and meaningful issue. I've seen it here recently.

We should try to tend to our own sore toes before rushing out onto the dance floors of society, whether in person or via communication technologies. No, we won't be perfect. We'll always have sensitive and delicate bits. But don't charge out onto the hockey rink and then complain that the game is too rough.
 
CallMeKate said:
I've been under the impression that people who say things purposely to start arguments or upset others are trolls... things that the poster knows will cause controversy... "trolling around" for contention. People I don't like I have other names for. ☺️
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Yet often, what upsets the name caller (and followers) doesn't bother anyone else. Does that still make that person a troll because you don't like them? Seems pretty arbitrary and self involved there.
 
oldaunt said:
Yet often, what upsets the name caller (and followers) doesn't bother anyone else. Does that still make that person a troll because you don't like them? Seems pretty arbitrary and self involved there.
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As I said, trolls look for contention. Someone else mentioned the name calling. A troll would be someone who brings up a subject to start arguments. This from the Endsleigh site may help:

Internet trolling: A definition​

An internet troll, or online bully, deliberately tries to offend, cause trouble or directly attack people by posting derogatory comments on Facebook posts, blogs, under YouTube videos, on forums and other social media, such as Twitter and Instagram. Not every argument can be considered as trolling; a difference of opinion can lead to healthy discussion which can be invaluable on forums.
 
Wes said:
Long ago as child I was told to never discuss either politics or religion to anyone because there is always an argument. Your comments indicate that you had the most trouble when discussing both of these subjects. That is not surprising to me. So, you may like to learn what is best avoided in discussions with others. I did.
And I must report to you that it is true what is best to avoid.
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No they don't. Read them again. Politics were in my list of forums I frequent, but I did not say I had any trouble on those boards. I said most of my trouble was on a Christian forum, but I did not say I was discussing religion at the time. Actually we were talking about a crime in the news.
 
Shooting off my mouth again, still without a leg to stand on :ROFLMAO: ...

None of what I said was meant to disparage or negate how any given forum member feels about a post or thread of discussion. I'm sorry that I failed to add that above.
 
CallMeKate said:
As I said, trolls look for contention. Someone else mentioned the name calling. A troll would be someone who brings up a subject to start arguments. This from the Endsleigh site may help:

Internet trolling: A definition​

An internet troll, or online bully, deliberately tries to offend, cause trouble or directly attack people by posting derogatory comments on Facebook posts, blogs, under YouTube videos, on forums and other social media, such as Twitter and Instagram. Not every argument can be considered as trolling; a difference of opinion can lead to healthy discussion which can be invaluable on forums.
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Calling someone a troll absolutely IS name calling.
 
Wes said:
Long ago as child I was told to never discuss either politics or religion to anyone because there is always an argument. Your comments indicate that you had the most trouble when discussing both of these subjects. That is not surprising to me. So, you may like to learn what is best avoided in discussions with others. I did.
And I must report to you that it is true what is best to avoid.
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yep I was advised the same..don't discuss Politics or religion unless you're up for a fight... and don't lend Money, books or tools if you want them returned..:D
 
Jules said:
No, they aren’t going to change, but we should not tolerate these trolls. They are a very vocal minority. Just because there is free speech, that is just an excuse to be an *sshole. Should everyone online whimper and quit because of a minority of nasty participants.
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The above post is why I asked about trolls. It was brought up
 
I see humor in everything...and that includes hate. Some nasty arguments can be really funny and entertaining. But I try to keep it light-hearted on this forum and not go to extremes. I figure most of our participants are just here for a relaxing experience.
 
Beezer said:
I see humor in everything...and that includes hate. Some nasty arguments can be really funny and entertaining. But I try to keep it light-hearted on this forum and not go to extremes. I figure most of our participants are just here for a relaxing experience.
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Yeah, I'm sick. I can imagine you writing a book there @Beezer so I have a title suggestion: "High Colonic For The Soul" :ROFLMAO:
 
CallMeKate said:
I've been under the impression that people who say things purposely to start arguments or upset others are trolls... things that the poster knows will cause controversy... "trolling around" for contention. People I don't like I have other names for. ☺️
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Right. People who are unhappy seem to think making other people unhappy will somehow improve their situation.
 
CallMeKate said:
Well now there's some excellent advice if ever I saw some! I suppose I could contact Crystal to give my John Prine and KISS albums back, but they may not be in good shape from the mid 70s so I won't bother her with it. :LOL:
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I tell you that sticks in my craw too... I'm not tight, I'll give anyone anything if their need is greater than mine, but back in the 70's a new boyfriend asked to borrow my newest T-Rex album....I never saw the album ..or the boyfriend again..... I still boil over that Album...lol
 
MarkD said:
Right. People who are unhappy seem to think making other people unhappy will somehow improve their situation.
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