Some Forums an Sites are Really Mean

hollydolly said:
the thing is .. there are so many people with mental issues with access to forums now. No need even for a computer, a simply phone suffices... so forums like this are open to all sorts of Nutcases, and fantasists...
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Very true. I don't know what they get out of it. I enjoy watching rescue kittens knowing they are in good care and will go to good homes. I don't know what these people are after. Nutcases is right.
 

If you're reading this, the Forum is performing a service for you. Unfortunately, some use it for other purposes. I think the meanness is akin to road rage. Everybody gets really teed off by some other driver, who does something to irritate you.. It's an irrational feeling to get even with that driver. If someone posts something you disagree with, you will post your reply until that stupid SOB gives up.
 
Remy said:
Worst forum I was ever on was a vegan forum. Now defunct. Biggest bunch of nasties and they all wanted to agree with each other. Lots of virtue signaling.

I watch a live stream sometimes, Tiny Kittens. Their live stream has 3 rules: No all caps, no more than 3 emojis and no roll calls. So this, yes troll, starts posting in all caps, moderator kindly writes something, then it's a string of emojis, again moderator intervenes, then started asking roll call questions. Can't even leave the kitties alone. I hope they banned the person. I clicked out because they were getting on my nerves. Have not noted a return of this behavior.
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Road rage, well if I see some idiot driving crazy I just let them go and mind my own business. Same on posts. They probably don't listen anyway.
fuzzybuddy said:
If you're reading this, the Forum is performing a service for you. Unfortunately, some use it for other purposes. I think the meanness is akin to road rage. Everybody gets really teed off by some other driver, who does something to irritate you.. It's an irrational feeling to get even with that driver. If someone posts something you disagree with, you will post your reply until that stupid SOB gives up.
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Jules said:
I’ve been on lots of forums or social sites and there‘re always disagreements. That’s not bad if people are civil about it.

The very worst I’ve found over the years are home decorating or design sites for small homes, etc. Some people are really vicious.

They say things like:
‘your home is so ugly, I don’t know how you live in it’,
’rip out cabinets, countertops and floor’. The person might just have asked for a suggestion for a wall paint colour.
etc, etc, etc.

Even making a comment that it would be nice if people were nice to each other gets an attack. ‘How dare you; we’re allowed to say what we want’

Have you joined sites that it was too hostile to participate or remain. I must admit, I still return to the decorating sites; not a bats’ chance that I’ll ever post anything anymore. Thank goodness for the interesting and nice posts.
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Yes, of course. I found on The Most Famous Social Media platform that I could not express an honest opinion if it differed from the majority view. Also found that my fact-checking on posts WAS NOT appreciated. Example: Sometimes friends would repost memes and news articles that were basically fake news. If I felt it was important enough to correct, I would try to tactfully post a correction from a reliable source(s).

I'm sure my corrections were just interpreted as smart-8ssery and one-upingness. I was not being a smart-8ss. I just wanted factual information to be out there in the DIN of insanity.

On other social media sites, yes, there is tons of meaness. Often a lot of men being very hideous towards women. But there's also plenty of insiders being cruel to outsiders - in whatever field, and however you define those categories.
 
VintageBetter said:
Yes, of course. I found on The Most Famous Social Media platform that I could not express an honest opinion if it differed from the majority view. Also found that my fact-checking on posts WAS NOT appreciated. Example: Sometimes friends would repost memes and news articles that were basically fake news. If I felt it was important enough to correct, I would try to tactfully post a correction from a reliable source(s).

I'm sure my corrections were just interpreted as smart-8ssery and one-upingness. I was not being a smart-8ss. I just wanted factual information to be out there in the DIN of insanity.

On other social media sites, yes, there is tons of meaness. Often a lot of men being very hideous towards women. But there's also plenty of insiders being cruel to outsiders - in whatever field, and however you define those categories.
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I haven't had much forum experience in the past so my knowledge is limited but, I think women are often mean to other women. The guys on here seem generally well-behaved I think ... maybe we frighten them off :eek: :)
 
Trish said:
I haven't had much forum experience in the past so my knowledge is limited but, I think women are often mean to other women. The guys on here seem generally well-behaved I think ... maybe we frighten them off :eek: :)
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IDK. I think it depends on the topic. I cannot say that men on any social media platform are nicer than women or vice versa.
Jerkiness is an Equal Opportunity Employer.
 
VintageBetter said:
Yes, of course. I found on The Most Famous Social Media platform that I could not express an honest opinion if it differed from the majority view. Also found that my fact-checking on posts WAS NOT appreciated. Example: Sometimes friends would repost memes and news articles that were basically fake news. If I felt it was important enough to correct, I would try to tactfully post a correction from a reliable source(s).

I'm sure my corrections were just interpreted as smart-8ssery and one-upingness. I was not being a smart-8ss. I just wanted factual information to be out there in the DIN of insanity.

On other social media sites, yes, there is tons of meaness. Often a lot of men being very hideous towards women. But there's also plenty of insiders being cruel to outsiders - in whatever field, and however you define those categories.
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I had a sort-of cousin who would constantly post "sensationalist" items in the ilk of "the Police Chief of Atlanta warns motorists that there is a gang who is scotch-taping live scorpions under the handles of gas pumps at 7-11s, so motorists should always check to make sure there are no scorpions under the gas pump handle before using it!" and that sort of thing (think I'm exaggerating? Nope.) She'd read these somewhere and pass them on.

So, I gently suggested that she check Snopes.Com before she posted these absurdities. She thought that was a good idea.

What did she do? She'd still post the item, but then add: "Snopes.Com says this isn't true but I'm going to warn people about this anyway!"

Can't win.
 
jujube said:
I had a sort-of cousin who would constantly post "sensationalist" items in the ilk of "the Police Chief of Atlanta warns motorists that there is a gang who is scotch-taping live scorpions under the handles of gas pumps at 7-11s, so motorists should always check to make sure there are no scorpions under the gas pump handle before using it!" and that sort of thing (think I'm exaggerating? Nope.) She'd read these somewhere and pass them on.

So, I gently suggested that she check Snopes.Com before she posted these absurdities. She thought that was a good idea.

What did she do? She'd still post the item, but then add: "Snopes.Com says this isn't true but I'm going to warn people about this anyway!"

Can't win.
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We, as a country, need to revamp high school education. We need to teach Media Literacy in 9th or 10th grade, a Law 101 course in 11th grade, a Psychology 101 course in 10th or 11th, and a Basic Household Budgeting and Investing course also in 10th or 11th grade. All four of these must be passed to graduate.
 
VintageBetter said:
We, as a country, need to revamp high school education. We need to teach Media Literacy in 9th or 10th grade, a Law 101 course in 11th grade, a Psychology 101 course in 10th or 11th, and a Basic Household Budgeting and Investing course also in 10th or 11th grade. All four of these must be passed to graduate.
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Yes. But how can we teach common sense enough to actually apply these things?
 
Colleen said:
A few years ago I joined a FB group that was about my hometown that I grew up in but haven't lived there since 1975. I enjoyed seeing/reading about what was going on in my town and what new businesses were starting up, etc. Then, one day someone posted about the planetarium building that was built right down town and how it was an eyesore architecturally compared to the rest of the town. I (stupid me) commented that I wondered why that particular structure was picked because it didn't fit in.

Well, I got blasted by some young guy that called me an "old b..ch" and said I was trying to ruin his memory of his town and I must hate my life, etc., etc., etc.! WTH?? It upset me so much. I referred his comment to the moderator of the group but she never said or did anything so I left.
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I never ever join local groups. In the past in I did but when I saw the arguments it put me right off. I could see certain busybodies who interfered with everyone and everything and who had an opinion on everyone's business. Not for me thankyou.

I have become one one of those people who 'keeps themselves to themselves '.
 
Nathan said:
Some computer forums can have snarky people that might have ample technical knowledge but have zero emotional maturity and people skills.
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So true ! The worse discourse I have seen was between iPhone and Android "fan bois" back when Android first came out (I am a self admitted fan of Android). It got worse than just about any political fight I saw at the time.
 
hollydolly said:
I tell you that sticks in my craw too... I'm not tight, I'll give anyone anything if their need is greater than mine, but back in the 70's a new boyfriend asked to borrow my newest T-Rex album....I never saw the album ..or the boyfriend again..... I still boil over that Album...lol
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We always remember don't we, when money is owed or an item not returned.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
If you're reading this, the Forum is performing a service for you. Unfortunately, some use it for other purposes. I think the meanness is akin to road rage. Everybody gets really teed off by some other driver, who does something to irritate you.. It's an irrational feeling to get even with that driver. If someone posts something you disagree with, you will post your reply until that stupid SOB gives up.
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I've read some real arguments back and forth on YouTube. On other sites also. But some people will not stop.

Once on the Reddit vegan sub (which I'm not a member of) two women were arguing back and forth about cats. The one woman saying no one should have cats. Sorry, I don't eat meat but I'll never live without cats. I finally wrote back to that one poor woman who was reasonable and getting totally dumped on to stop engaging and use the ignore feature on this person. She was aggressive.
 
Remy said:
I've read some real arguments back and forth on YouTube. On other sites also. But some people will not stop.

Once on the Reddit vegan sub (which I'm not a member of) two women were arguing back and forth about cats. The one woman saying no one should have cats. Sorry, I don't eat meat but I'll never live without cats. I finally wrote back to that one poor woman who was reasonable and getting totally dumped on to stop engaging and use the ignore feature on this person. She was aggressive.
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One of the most ''subtle'' bullying/nastiness I ever witnessed was on a huge chat forum, like this but with a bigger membership..was with the use of the Like/Dislike button.

On there there was no other emoticons, just the thumbs Up and the Thumbs down button.

Well this poor woman had attracted the attention of the large clique encouraged in part by the weak moderation.. and they were nasty beeches, and regardless of what she posted she got the Thumbs down button..which was in red.. well of course newbies to the forum were like sheep they saw the negative reactions, presumed she was awful and followed suit.

In fact she was a really nice person.. I met her a couple of time in real life... she was not a shrinking violet,she was just a genuinely nice person who didn't get involved with arguments, but lived alone with her son and minded their own business ..yet for some reason she was targeted..

I've always been against the Thumbs down button on forums since witnessing that
 
@hollydolly I totally agree. The knit and crochet site Ravelry (which I don't think is open if you are not registered) has a "disagree" button in their forums. I really don't like it. You can turn off the buttons if you want but I haven't.

I go there for free patterns and they have a forum sub "lovin the freebees" which is very active. People click "disagree" on there also especially for the 'free for a limited time' items. Don't be jerky. If you missed out our don't like the item, move on. I refuse to buy patterns there because I don't want to support the people who own the site. But I'll take advantage of free stuff and there is a lot of free stuff generously uploaded.

The worst thing I ever looked at in the forums there (and this site calls themselves very inclusive and socially just) was a thread about a pattern someone made to represent a child's sweater that is in a Holocaust museum. There were a disturbing amount of "funny" emojis clicked. I was like WTF? Freaks!
 
Jules said:
True. If the moderators aren’t taking the abusive commenters to task, then it’s also the fault of the site.
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Some moderators create annoying personalities to intentionally create drama cause drama sells.

Members should also speak up if they notice abuse.

I’ve been on sites that sell products and the site owners get 5% of the profits. There’s all kinds of unfairness going on that’s not taken seriously since there’s money involved.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
Some moderators create annoying personalities to intentionally create drama cause drama sells.

Members should also speak up if they notice abuse.

I’ve been on sites that sell products and the site owners get 5% of the profits. There’s all kinds of unfairness going on that’s not taken seriously since there’s money involved.
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It seems counterproductive though. If a site becomes too toxic, surely members would leave and then the site owner wouldn't have much of a forum left?
 
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