Ways companies or even people you may know infantilize Seniors?

Lewkat said:
I am a health professional, and heaven help me if I ever talked to any patient such as you just described. Most of us are taught never to do this as people who suffer dementia or Alzheimer's do realize this behavior. Usually, they will just walk away from anyone who does this.
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I took my mom to get an MRI; she was in her late 70s; and she was a little confused when an aid came to escort her to a back room through a private reception area, because that isn't how it was done at the place we'd had imaging done before.

So she asked "What's happening? Where are we going?"

And the aid looked at a receptionist and said, out loud, "My God, I hope I never get this old!"

And she was right behind my mom, so her stupidass mouth was inches away from Mom's ear. Mom's eyes watered and I got really pissed and opened my own stupid mouth, but that aid deserved every *unpleasant* word I said.
 

VintageBetter said:

infantilize​

1: to make or keep infantile

2: to treat as if infantile

Example: Yesterday I was looking at a Famous Company's online ordering platform for benefits covered by their OTC plan and I saw puzzles. I don't mean 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzles. I mean 20 to 30 pieces, simple puzzles with large pieces. They were equivalent to puzzles for Kindergartners in difficulty.

Granted, these might be for stroke survivors who have limited use of hands and arms, or who are re-learning how to speak. I understand they are with the rehabilitation supplies because they are for rehabilitation. However, the name of the puzzle company is "KeepingBusy".

I don't have dementia and I've never personally known anyone with Alzheimer's. Maybe these are great for those customers? IDK. When people have dementia do they lose their ability to read, or listen to music? Can they still be trusted to garden? Can they learn how to paint with watercolors? Sew? Knit and crochet? Do ceramics?

But this is a change in marketing that has been obvious to me as I have aged: the products marketed to Seniors tend to dwell on us entering a carefree "Second Childhood", with the limited mental ability of children too. That's infantilization and wow, it is noticeable to me in much of the advertising aimed at us.
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I was going to sign up for an emotional support dog, but they said I don't qualify because I have no mental health issues. Well, I am glad of that but, it still doesn't seem right.
 
officerripley said:
I agree that sometimes seniors are infantalized but I've been surrounded by seniors suffering from Alzheimers or some other kind of dementia all my life. Maybe since I come from long-lived stock on both sides and therefore they all lived long enough to get it? Because they say if you live long enough, you will get some kind of dementia since it appears that the human brain has a "sell by" date.

Anyway, since Alzheimers or other dementia is more prevalent than earlier realized, that's a reason for some of the infantalizing?
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Well, some studies say it's 1 of 10 of us over age 65 have it. Another says it's one out of seven over age 71.
https://www.cnn.com/2022/10/24/health/dementia-cognitive-decline-wellness/index.html
One in Seven Americans Age 71 and Older Has Some Type of Dementia, NIH-Funded Study Estimates
Here's a fact sheet on it: Fact Sheet: U.S. Dementia Trends Says it's much more prevalent once people get over age 85: "About 3% of adults ages 70 to 74 had dementia in 2019, compared with 22% of adults ages 85 to 89 and 33% of adults ages 90 and older."

This site has a chart on Mild Cognitive Impairment , MCI (every condition has an abbreviation these days). https://www.alz.org/media/Documents/alzheimers-facts-and-figures-special-report-2022.pdf

"For example, a person with amnestic MCI could forget conversations or misplace items in their
home, whereas a person with nonamnestic MCI could have difficulty keeping their train of thought during
a conversation, finding their way around a once familiar place, or finishing everyday tasks, such as paying a bill."

IDK - I've been misplacing items in my home since I was in my 30s, LOL. I don't think this is MCI.
 
helenbacque said:
Many young people assume that advanced age is ALWAYS accompanied by dementia. It is not and there is living proof here in our forum.

I see ‘young’ as anyone younger than me.😌
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I got chastised once for referring to people in thier 20s and 30s as "young". Apprently that is a slur of some kind in certain communites and not a simple adjective.
 
Michael Z said:
My Mom had dementia and I don’t think she could have even handled the 30 piece puzzle as she could not remember what happened 5 minutes previously. That is just the unfortunate way it is with advanced dementia. I hope to find a way to avoid my Mom’s unfortunate situation in the nursing home, both for my sake and my family member’s sake.

But for folks who are simply a bit older with only minor loss of short term memory (me), treating me like some sort of imbecile is wrong. There was a time when the wisdom of the aged was valued.
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Based on what I have read, exercise is the thing that will save us all. As much exercise as we can handle, we should be doing that daily.

Going Vegan or mostly Vegan doesn't hurt either.
 
VintageBetter said:
Based on what I have read, exercise is the thing that will save us all. As much exercise as we can handle, we should be doing that daily.

Going Vegan or mostly Vegan doesn't hurt either.
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That is what I am banking on as well to fend off dementia (and the wheelchair). Also, I just started taking taurine, something I read about in a health magazine.
 
StarSong said:
What about that doesn't seem right? You can still have a pet, just not one you're allowed to bring into a grocery store.
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I don't want to bring my dog into the store, all I want is to not have to pay hundreds of dollars as a deposit to live somewhere. But since I don't have mental illness, I don't qualify. I answered her medical questions and she said she was sorry but I don't quallify. So, I will pay the $500 to have a dog in the apartment.
 
fancicoffee13 said:
I don't want to bring my dog into the store, all I want is to not have to pay hundreds of dollars as a deposit to live somewhere. But since I don't have mental illness, I don't qualify. I answered her medical questions and she said she was sorry but I don't quallify. So, I will pay the $500 to have a dog in the apartment.
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Got it. Pet deposits are pretty standard practice though, aren't they? Even back in the mid-70s I had to pay additional deposits (against damage) to have a pet in any apartments I rented. The money was returned when I moved out because my dog didn't do any damage.
 
StarSong said:
Got it. Pet deposits are pretty standard practice though, aren't they? Even back in the mid-70s I had to pay additional deposits (against damage) to have a pet in any apartments I rented. The money was returned when I moved out because my dog didn't do any damage.
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I don't think they return the deposits anymore. Even though my pet doesn't do any damage. That hurts. And it feels like being taken.
 
Michael Z said:
That is what I am banking on as well to fend off dementia (and the wheelchair). Also, I just started taking taurine, something I read about in a health magazine.
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Besides being physically & mentally active each day, as well as eating a good diet and taking a few supplements... I drink half a little bottle of 5 Hour Energy (a brand of "energy shot") mid afternoon. It's pleasant tasting, and I use it instead of coffee. It contains caffeine, but also various brain nutrients — taurine, citocoline, B6, B12.
 
fancicoffee13 said:
I don't think they return the deposits anymore. Even though my pet doesn't do any damage. That hurts. And it feels like being taken.
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"Deposits" have to be returned when you move out unless there's documented damage beyond normal wear and tear. Take pictures with your phone (so they're time and date stamped) before you move in and again when you move out.

In Los Angeles, landlords must also pay interest on returned deposits.

People can do tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage to rental units so it's hard to blame landlords for trying to protect themselves.
 
Obviously the OP's specific situation made her wonder if her situation is more common, more broadly than what the rest of us experience so after asking other members, she has found out that her situation is not common though may be regionally where she lives. If we just considered advanced aged old frail looking seniors, one might expect strangers or commercial service persons, meeting them might form first opinions that they might have various well known limitations. Much more likely at say age 90 versus 60 while being aware this is all a kind of Bell Curve as there are some 55 year olds that physically appear older than this 75 year old.
 
January said:
MURMUR did you report that to management?

I think you should, that is very inappropriate and if nobody calls her out on it, she will say n it in front of other people too.
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I don't know if radiology has a manager. I suppose they do. This one belonged to a major hospital, so I guess you'd report bad behavior to the hospital administrator or maybe the director of nursing, idk.

I made a big stink about it right then and there, and then some lady called the aid into a back office or whatever, and they let me take Mom to the dressing room. In fact, I helped her into one of those hospital gowns and nobody said anything about it. And then they let me sit right outside the MRI room in their little wait-area there.

The imaging got done, I helped Mom back into her clothes and we left, and we didn't see that aid again that whole time, so maybe that lady was a supervisor and the aid got chewed out (a second time) or sent on a break or something, idk.

But everybody was super nice and respectful to my mom after I spouted off.
 
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StarSong said:
"Deposits" have to be returned when you move out unless there's documented damage beyond normal wear and tear. Take pictures with your phone (so they're time and date stamped) before you move in and again when you move out.

In Los Angeles, landlords must also pay interest on returned deposits.

People can do tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage to rental units so it's hard to blame landlords for trying to protect themselves.
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A lot of rentals here in Sac do have some non-refundable deposits. And it's so weird; you have to put down 3 or 4 different deposits.

There's a hold deposit that you pay when you submit your application. It's applied to your 1st months rent if you get the place, and mailed back to you if you don't. It's usually 2 or 3 hundred bucks.

There's the cleaning deposit that's usually the same amount as one month's rent, 2 or 3 thousand bucks on average. After the property manager or landlord pays to have the place you moved out of professionally cleaned, including all the drapes, curtains, and blinds, have the interior walls repaired and repainted, and have the flooring, tiles and carpets professionally cleaned, waxed and buffed, you're refunded the balance. You can expect around 50 bucks if anything at all.

Pet deposits are refundable, but some rental agreements say you have to pay an annual or even monthly pet fee. That's almost always on rentals that have a yard, and it's technically "pet rent" instead of a pet deposit. Pet rent is not refundable. It's usually 1 or 2 hundred bucks a month or 5 to 8 hundred annually.

The security deposit is separate from all those. It covers unpaid rent, so it is refundable if your rent is all paid up and you always paid on time. A lot of No-Cals think of the security deposit as their last-month's rent, and they don't pay rent for the month they start moving out....they used their money to cover all the deposits on their new place.

I imagine it's pretty much the same down there, yeah? Up here we always say "first, last, plus deposits" when talking about moving into a place.
 
@Murrmurr, my understanding for any kind of rental or transactions: "deposits" are either refundable or applied to the quoted price (like when buying a house or car). "Fees" aren't refundable. I always got cleaning deposits back because I left apartments spick and span. Had to sue one landlord in small claims court to get my deposit back - and I prevailed.
Murrmurr said:
I imagine it's pretty much the same down there, yeah? Up here we always say "first, last, plus deposits" when talking about moving into a place.
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Yes. I haven't rented an apartment in nearly 40 years, but when I did some landlords offered to spread the last month's rent over three months, meaning I'd pay 1-1/3 month's rent for the first three months. Very kind of them, I have to say.
 
StarSong said:
@Murrmurr, my understanding for any kind of rental or transactions: "deposits" are either refundable or applied to the quoted price (like when buying a house or car). "Fees" aren't refundable. I always got cleaning deposits back because I left apartments spick and span. Had to sue one landlord in small claims court to get my deposit back - and I prevailed.

Yes. I haven't rented an apartment in nearly 40 years, but when I did some landlords offered to spread the last month's rent over three months, meaning I'd pay 1-1/3 month's rent for the first three months. Very kind of them, I have to say.
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All true.

One of my nieces is a real estate attorney who does pro-bono work once a year (as a lot of them do) that are mostly common landlord-tenant disputes. But she handled a far less common dispute once, between a small rental property management company and a company that writes rental agreements and other fill-in legal docs - the document company had used the word Deposit numerous times in the property management company's rental agreements where they should have used the word Fee.

That error had cost this little property management company several thousand dollars when they were ordered to return a former tenant's deposits that were supposed to be fees. The doc-writing company was NOT ordered to pay them back because the judge ruled the property management company had obviously failed to proofread the rental agreement before using it.

But the doc-writing company did offer to send the property management company corrected rental agreements at no charge, and they agreed and all their tenants had to sign the new ones....

...and then the owner of the little property management company sold out to a large property management corporation.
~The End ~
 
StarSong said:
@Murrmurr, my understanding for any kind of rental or transactions: "deposits" are either refundable or applied to the quoted price (like when buying a house or car). "Fees" aren't refundable. I always got cleaning deposits back because I left apartments spick and span. Had to sue one landlord in small claims court to get my deposit back - and I prevailed.

Yes. I haven't rented an apartment in nearly 40 years, but when I did some landlords offered to spread the last month's rent over three months, meaning I'd pay 1-1/3 month's rent for the first three months. Very kind of them, I have to say.
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Very kind, indeed.
 
I was raised to show my elders proper respect and assistance even if they were strangers. My husband was also raised in the same manner. I knew I loved him when I went with him to take his Grandmother and Great Aunt to Mass when we were 16. He got up, dressed in a jacket and tie to take them. He walked each of them to the car, opened and close the doors. He had one one each arm to walk them safely inside to their seats.

We raised our son the same way. He seemed to be aware of the older people in our family from a very young age. He was always happy to sit with them, listen to the stories of the family in their days, their youth, the places they had lived and traveled to. family by the passage of time that takes loved ones from us.

He understood when his grandmother came to live with us that things had changed with her. Her memory and actions were not the same thing as when he was a child. He needed to support her and react differently each day she changed. He handled it like a man, I hope he can do the same with me. I know I am changing, forgetting things and needing help more often than I have in the past. There is not one of us that wants to admit that but the sooner we do it will be easier for us and our families. We will have time to prepare and plan for the future.
 

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