How would you react to neighbors?

If neighbors had a party and didn't invite you, but sent food over to you, how would you feel?

  • I'd be greatful for any small favor

    Votes: 18 85.7%

  • I'd think thay had some nerve. If I wasn't good enough to be invited, I don't need their handout.

    Votes: 3 14.3%
  • Total voters
    21
debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
If you next door neighbors had a graduation party for their kid and you weren't invited, but during the festivities, they send a plate of food over to you, how would you feel?
 

I wouldn't expect my neighbors to invite me to their family gatherings, and if they decided to send me over a plate of food, I'd think it was a nice gesture.
 
Sounds like it was a family type thing. You are not in their family but they wanted to treat you. You should accept it gratefully and not be so negative about it.
 

NancyNGA said:
I'd prefer they just have their party and leave me out of it completely.
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That would be my preference too Nancy, not to be invited at all or given any food afterwards. Even if I was invited, I'd likely decline, unless of course this neighbor was so close over the years they were like family every day of the year.
 
Don't matter to me that I'm not invited, would accept the plate of food to be polite (I don't have to eat it) but would pass on leftover party food that may have been sitting out in the open. I think its a nice gesture, especially if the party might get noisy.
 
I would just chalk up as not being close friends, just neighbors. Thank them for the food. Throw out what you don't want.
Give your own party when you feel like and invite only ones that you know are your real friends.
 
debodun - I have to ask: did this recently happen to you, and is there a history which makes you feel more strongly about it than some of the rest of us?

I think there should have been a third choice "Really just wish they'd have their party and leave me alone."
 
oakapple said:
I would think it was a very strange thing to do. you either invite a neighbour or you don't. why on earth take a plate of unwanted food to them?
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Unwanted? Personally, I wouldn’t take food over unless we’d talked about it. But a person would have no way of knowing in advance the food was “unwanted”. Like a plate of homemade cookies, etc. it’s not such a terrible thing and (imo) it does not send the message that the recipient isn’t “good enough”. If recipient is going to overthink things that much and take offense at such a gesture, it’s just as well they stay home…...easy to see why they weren’t invited to the party.
 
I think this is a matter of WAAY overthinking an incident and trying to ascribe a nefarious meaning to something that just is what it is. I don't see any way to be insulted by a neighbor's kind offering of food, but then I don't go around looking for ways to be insulted.
 
I'd probably be oblivious to my neighbor's party unless it became really noisy. They certainly have no obligation to invite me just because I'm a neighbor. As for the food, I'd accept it thankfully but might not eat it as most of my neighbors are meat eaters and I'm not.
 
Being I am the Senior Citizen in my neighborhood, I would accept it as they were thinking of me. I also figure they think I would not really want to be obliged to attend their party. They know me pretty well and they would be correct.
 
Is this supposed to be a real incident?I thought it was meant to be' what would you think if' situation? if any of my neighbours were hosting a party, I certainly would not worry if they hadn't invited us to it, we have family parties, BBQ's and so on without inviting all or any of the neighbours. I just think it would be strange if they then turned up on our doorstep with a plate of food, and it would be unwanted by me, as the thought of leftover food sitting out in the sun does not appeal greatly.This may be something that happens a lot in the US. I don't know, but doubt it would happen here.
 
On tv in shows from America, they feature neighbours taking baskets of cupcakes and a pie etc to new neighbours, but this has never happened to us when we have moved ( and we have moved houses a lot.)So this neighbourly food offering may well be a US thing I think.
 
It wouldn't happen here in Canada either. I've moved countless times and no one has ever come over with a basket of goodies welcoming us to the neighborhood nor has anyone having a party has ever brought over food for us either, and there have been many many parties in my highrise over the years. It seems like a fictitious scenario like on a TV show taking place in a U.S suburban upscale neighborhood, e.g. Desperate Housewives?
 

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