Thoughts on pre-marital intimacy

Della said:
I know my mother waited for marriage, but she was born in 1915.

I just looked it up and only about 50% of high school kids have done it. They aren't as wild as I thought.

If I had it all to do over again I think I'd wait, maybe forever.
Click to expand...
Maybe the right question to ask high schoolers isn't HAVE you, but WOULD you, given the opportunity? Not everyone was appealing, confident, or had the privacy in high school.

As for me, I remember the first time in 6th grade when the other guys started to notice the girls, finally I had something to talk to them about.
 
Oh, believe me, there were plenty of shotgun weddings and "early" babies in the old days.

Otherwise, how would the old ladies at church get to be so good at counting months backwards every time a first baby was born.

Nature must have been radically different back then because there were a lot of 8 pound "premature" babies born.

I had a friend who was cleaning out her parent's house after they died and came across her parent's wedding certificate, dated December 1941. Hmmmm, she was born in early May 1942 and weighed 8 1/2 pounds. Her parents had always claimed that they were married on that day in 1940.....

She said her mom was always harping on "purity" and "saving yourself for marriage". Apparently, it was "do as I say, not as I did..."
 
Brookswood said:
My experience with most women today is that by the fifth or sixth date, and we’re hitting it off well, they will ask me to come for dinner and stay for breakfast. And most have no intention of marrying me or any other man ever again.

I agree the test drive nonsense is just that, nonsense.
Click to expand...
I should also mention that with most women today, I never reach much farther than the first or second date.
 
Last edited:
Brookswood said:
I agree the test drive nonsense is just that, nonsense.
Click to expand...
The phraseology is probably an attempt at crude humor that caught on, I suppose because it's crudely clever. But you can make the same point in a more reasonable and less misogynistic way by suggesting it's wise to see if you and another person are sexually compatible before you get married. Then maybe it's less revolting. This assumes you believe sex is an important part of marriage, and you understand that intensity of sexual compatibility can vary greatly from one partner to another. But it becomes less relevant if you don't see sex as highly important in marriage.
 
JustDave said:
The phraseology is probably an attempt at crude humor that caught on, I suppose because it's crudely clever. But you can make the same point in a more reasonable and less misogynistic way by suggesting it's wise to see if you and another person are sexually compatible before you get married. Then maybe it's less revolting. This assumes you believe sex is an important part of marriage, and you understand that intensity of sexual compatibility can vary greatly from one partner to another. But it becomes less relevant if you don't see sex as highly important in marriage.
Click to expand...
One of my aunts even emphatically stated some decades ago that she and her husband had a platonic marriage from the beginning. To each his/her own.
 
Good Lord, there's no way I'd ever consider marrying a man I hadn't taken for several spins around the track. S ex isn't everything, but, to me, it's an important part of a relationship. He doesn't have to be A.J. Foyt, but if he can't get it in gear, well, it wouldn't bode well for a long-term relationship.
 
Bella said:
Good Lord, there's no way I'd ever consider marrying a man I hadn't taken for several spins around the track. S ex isn't everything, but, to me, it's an important part of a relationship. He doesn't have to be A.J. Foyt, but if he can't get it in gear, well, it wouldn't bode well for a long-term relationship.
Click to expand...
What if he’s otherwise a great guy but just happens to have an old “war wound”?
 
Sciguy said:
What if he’s otherwise a great guy but just happens to have an old “war wound”?
Click to expand...
I owned an adult store in New Hampshire. One very busy Saturday, a guy comes in, finds what he needed (a strap-on) and Yells to my customers:
"I'm so happy to find this!!! Mine was shot off in Iraq!!!!!!"
 
Trade said:
The best part starts at 1:50.

Click to expand...
It sounds like the "Inquisition". My son was asked to attend something similar by the bride's parents. He said what a waste of time, the questions the priest asked were downright humiliating. Personal questions that he didn't think was anything to do with marriage.
 
oscash said:
It sounds like the "Inquisition". My son was asked to attend something similar by the bride's parents. He said what a waste of time, the questions the priest asked were downright humiliating. Personal questions that he didn't think was anything to do with marriage.
Click to expand...
Oh, man, I had to go through the "Pre-Cana" conferences and counseling with my first fiancee, who was Catholic. We ended up getting kicked out of the group because I kept asking questions and not liking the answers I got from the priest.

Good thing the wedding never happened because he wasn't comfortable getting married outside the Church and there was no way Father Knapp was EVER going to let me back into that sanctuary again without having a sharp stake handy......
 
The 'test drive" analogy reminded me of a coworker, who mortgaged her home to give her daughter the wedding she always dreamt. The bride and groom were good Catholics. So, no premarital sex. A month after the wedding, it was annulled. Turned out, she was the wrong sex to get hubby aroused. And my coworker had to work until she was 68 just to pay the mortgage off. My point being that sex is as much a component of marriage as love. It's what separates being married from being roommates. `I think you have to 'know' someone, in the Biblical sense, before marriage, so that compatibility is not an issue, leading to divorce.
 
jujube said:
Oh, believe me, there were plenty of shotgun weddings and "early" babies in the old days.

Otherwise, how would the old ladies at church get to be so good at counting months backwards every time a first baby was born.

Nature must have been radically different back then because there were a lot of 8 pound "premature" babies born.

I had a friend who was cleaning out her parent's house after they died and came across her parent's wedding certificate, dated December 1941. Hmmmm, she was born in early May 1942 and weighed 8 1/2 pounds. Her parents had always claimed that they were married on that day in 1940.....

She said her mom was always harping on "purity" and "saving yourself for marriage". Apparently, it was "do as I say, not as I did..."
Click to expand...
We can't find my mom & dad's marriage license, or where they got it. And there's a question of my dad- in the US Navy, WWII, and at sea on the date of the wedding.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top