Problems and Worries - Do They Ever End ?

Mobilman44

Mobilman44

Member
This all may sound like a "poor me" lament, and maybe it is, although I don't intend it to be that way.

It seems that my life has always been filled with problems and worries - mostly about loved ones. It's like they never end, that when one does get resolved, another one pops up to take its place. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this, for a few friends have expressed similar thoughts. Ha, our mantra is "it's always something".

Believe me, I am well aware of others whose difficulties minimize mine, and I appreciate that. But dammit, it (retirement) wasn't supposed to be this way. I just don't recall my parents or older relatives having all the problems that seem to plague me and others.

I do know I am a "worrier", and that sure doesn't help my state of mind. When I was younger, being the "anal analyst", I would occasionally list my worries and rank them.

I try really hard to embrace the thought..."the things you worry about most don't usually happen". But even though I've found that to be mostly true in the past, I still at times get at my "wits end" worrying about stuff - usually concerning others.

They say the Good Lord only gives us "what we can handle", but goodness, enough is enough.

It feels good to get this in writing, and I have to ask, do any of you feel this way?
 

I feel your stress, but my problems are brought on by other people who can't seem to mind their own business. I value my peace and quiet. It's as if someone decides life isn't hard enough for me to be really living and has to stick their know-it-all nose in.

Some people thrive on conflict and I've had more than my share of them, some are well-meaning though. These can be just as bad.

I'm going through something right now where a relative thinks I need to have money thrown at me. Problem is, it will upend my life and make it hell. Donate it to really needy people, or spend it on yourself while you can. I don't need it.

He doesn't get it. Ugh. Go away!
 
They say the Good Lord only gives us "what we can handle"

This bumper sticker saying sometimes makes me suspect God is a sadist. Just kidding. I think people can be sadists - not so sure about God. But I am well aware I lived in a Selfish City when I was going through my worst times. It is not only I who have observed this about the Selfish City. Writers, journalists, musicians have said the same thing. That should be on the city seal, should be the city’s new slogan to warn people:

“Welcome to _________, the Most Selfish City.” (Every city is good at something, right?)

As for worries - ah, the sweet release of death will free us from all of those.

Oh, and BTW, God DOES dumps far too much crap on some people and that’s what leads to suicides, mental breakdowns, ruptured family life, and the increased need for mental health workers. If anyone genuinely believes God is up there meting out Custom Built Hardships for people, then some people have a DELUSIONAL version of the Bible in their brains. GOD, IMO, expects US to take care of his creations, AND THAT’S ALL OF US.
 
Mobilman44 said:
It feels good to get this in writing, and I have to ask, do any of you feel this way?
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Not very much anymore, but I spent much of my life in what seemed to be a never ending struggle. My retirement coincides in a timeline with my recovery from alcohol abuse. I often wonder if my pleasant life now is the result of retirement or freedom from an unhealthy addiction. Maybe it's a combination. I don't need to know that. I just gratefully wonder about it.
 
Mobilman44 said:
It seems that my life has always been filled with problems and worries - mostly about loved ones. It's like they never end, that when one does get resolved, another one pops up to take its place. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this, for a few friends have expressed similar thoughts. Ha, our mantra is "it's always something".
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I've felt like this since the day I was born. And being a "whoops" baby (unplanned for and unwanted preganancy) didn't help either. So being the youngest, I was surrounded by family members who were all older than I but yet seemed to have no earthly idea of how to even attempt to have a happy (hell, even just a contented) life; all acted as if they wished that not only I and every other family member had never been born but that they themselves had never been born.

My late brother once told me that I was the worrier of the family. Hell, at least I did worry about the other family members in addition to myself; all the others appeared to worry about themselves only.

So I can relate, Mobilman. I think what happens to us in our early growing up years has longlasting effects unfortunately.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
The only time anyone has no worries or problems is when they are in a coma. Being alive means worries and problems.
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That's why when you die is the only time you rest in peace.

People tend to consider it a tragedy when people die younger. I've never heard a single complaint from those who died younger.

I told my doctor that I don't want to prevent the inevitable by taking prescriptions meant to ward off things that are coming to get me.

If nature wants me dead, who am I to challenge that?

I've had a lifetime of worry and paying bills. That's all that life promises.
 
Living in an Rv after a truck made our house unlivable or dealing with schizoaffective depression type that is treatment resistant or any other so called bad things in life are caused not by god but circumstances of life.
God does not give you more than you can handle? What does that mean, of course not. It is impossible to deal with more than you can handle. Would we explode if too much came our way?
 
I am a worrier and things do pile up or so it seems. My husband just out of hospital had an incident last night and back to ER. He now has pre pneumonia in his lungs and has been given a prescription for anitbiotics. Other small things around the house need attention and will have to have them taken care of shortly.
 
OldFeller said:
That's why when you die is the only time you rest in peace.

People tend to consider it a tragedy when people die younger. I've never heard a single complaint from those who died younger.

I told my doctor that I don't want to prevent the inevitable by taking prescriptions meant to ward off things that are coming to get me.

If nature wants me dead, who am I to challenge that?

I've had a lifetime of worry and paying bills. That's all that life promises.
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No complaints from the younger? You need to read “Our Town” by Thornton Wilder.
 
Mr. Ed said:
Living in an Rv after a truck made our house unlivable or dealing with schizoaffective depression type that is treatment resistant or any other so called bad things in life are caused not by god but circumstances of life.
God does not give you more than you can handle? What does that mean, of course not. It is impossible to deal with more than you can handle. Would we explode if too much came our way?
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Having lived through some terrible years in which far more than I could handle hit me (one was the Great Recession and the loss of not only my condo but seeing that happen to HUNDREDS, thousands of people in my area), I would have to say that when far too much bad hits anyone, it’s going to CHANGE them and NOT for the better.

You know, people forget that some people were indeed committing suicide because they were losing their homes to foreclosure from 2007-2011. The Press, our hallowed press, they do not like to report on such things because the Contagion Effect is real (the Contagion Effect is the theory that if too many stories of suicde hit the news, people in similar circumstances will do that too).

I am far more suspicious of people in general now than I used to be. This is good, because I did used to grant some people who don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt some grace. But Lordy, I am walking through life with eyes open now and OH the cautionary emails I send to friends and family about this scam or another one.

I actively try to be the Canary in the Coal Mine now, if I can be.

I am FAR MORE suspicious of Congress now, and of a particular political party than I was before 2007. I actively despise certain members of a certain party and will flip them off if, God forbid, they appear on TV. But I am also very well aware that the other major party members were their partners in misery-making. Not too many of them stood up against the fiscal insanity.

I HATE how young people use their phones to video anything and everything and then post that online without asking permission from those they have taped. What gives you the right to humilate others because you think it’s funny or odd? BUT, this is the era we live in so there’s not much I can do about it, can I?

The whole Raygun thing from the Olympics was about the young mocking the odd and unusual. The mockers didn’t bother to get to know her or ask her any questions about why she thought she had the right to Break Dance. She was a ballroom dancer who said to herself, “I want to be in the Olympics so I’m going to see if I can break dance and get qualified.” And she did get qualified in her country and went. She is not a very good breaker, but SO WHAT? For every gold medal winner at any Olympics there are many LOSERS. Do they get mocked online too? Maybe they do - IDK.

Did she commit any crimes? No. But now the Internet has made her infamous. FOR FUN. Fun for the exploiters but not so fun for her or her host nation. Maybe a coach should have been more AWARE to what was going on in the Breaking World and told her not to compete? Yes, that would have been nice. But no one protected her.

Anyway, I do not believe in that saying, “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle”. I think, for example, every parent who has lost a child or another loved one to a stupid mass shooting is bearing FAR more than they can handle and the only reason they get through it is because the NEWS will cover those and usually the community will pull together to help these people through their grief.

There was no communuty pull-together in the Great Recession. Not at all. It was every man for himself in the Great Recession, just like it was in the Great Depression before a new admin. was elected and changed the system up a bit.

I remember an actor, Richard Farnsworth, and he had been in many things as a character actor. When he got diagnosed with cancer, he shot himself. I think I read that his friends and family later said he had worked so hard to get moderate success he had that he didn’t want to spend all his savings on cancer treatments (insurance was far worse in those days), so to allow his family to keep his money, and to allow himself not to go through months of fighting a hopeless battle, he killed himself.

The cancer was obviously more than he could handle.

There’s a movie about that kind of end too - it’s called One True Thing.
 
OldFeller said:
Yeah because he knows better. I get all my beliefs about the afterlife from people who haven't been there yet.
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You said with authority: People tend to consider it a tragedy when people die younger. I've never heard a single complaint from those who died younger.

Got a pipeline to heaven you want to share with the globe? Get on YouTube with that - make millions.
 
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VintageBetter said:
You said with authority: People tend to consider it a tragedy when people die younger. I've never heard a single complaint from those who died younger.

Got a pipeline to heaven you want to share with the globe? Get on YouTube with that - make millions.
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I never said I was in contact with the dead.
You've got too much imagination from watching too many movies, TV, and reading fiction like Our Town.
 
My point is stuff happens and it is all a part of life. When emotions cloud the fact of life and death we sometimes fail to understand it is all part of living and no one singled out for misbehaving. $##t happens…we shouldn’t take it personally
 
@Mr. Ed is I believe rather spot on. But besides what he said is an ability to compartmentalize stressors….or not. I almost think this is genetic. My partner is a worrier. Half empty glass most of the time. He/we have very fortunate lives…but most of the time he cannot process that and is in a funk. My brain has ALWAYS been able to back shelf my woes. Different brains…
 
I am not a worrier however, my wife on the other hand cannot help but imagine the worst possible scenario. I process each moment as it arrives, this is how I think.

i will tell you what I think next time
 
It's a popular misconception that God said he would not give us more than we can handle. What he actually said refers to temptations that we may be struggling against.

(Trigger warning for those seniors who get upset when the Bible is quoted.)

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Sadly, the world spins, we have freewill, and bad things happen to people. Sometimes we decide we would rather be dead than bear the pain any longer.

I have a relative who was out with her church's caroling group one Christmas Eve. Her husband and her only son were in the car ahead when a drunk driver struck them and they both died in front of her. A few years later she married again and she happily got pregnant, but the baby was still born. She was just a nice woman who helped others, I hate to hear people talk about Karma like it's a real thing and some people "deserve" it.

I think it's just the luck of draw while we're here on earth and I hope for something better in the after life.
 

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