Why do we tell strangers about our woes?

R

Rose65

Well-known Member
Location
United Kingdom
I think I must be getting old because I find myself chatting about my ailments to anyone who will listen! I don't really know why, except I feel better. I'm sure taxi drivers and delivery persons don't have the slightest interest in my back or knee pains. However, I often find they respond with their own stories so both parties feel benefit overall after a nice chat.

Telling strangers kind of feels safe in a way, because they are an objective listening ear. Do you do this?
 

I never was one to complain about my ailments. Sometimes it didn't serve me well because my husband didn't realize when I wasn't feeling well; he'd ask me to do things then I'd wind up getting annoyed :LOL:. I also had an incident at work where my supervisor didn't realize how serious my heart condition was ( I think he thought either that I was faking or was a hypochondriac). He called my doctor, who at the time was also our clinic doctor and Dr. T told him how serious my ailment could be. I told supervisor he better not ever do that again! I really let him have it. We were like a family there, so I wasn't afraid of ramifications of what I said.

I'm not saying I never talk about them. Sometimes in context if someone has something I have (or had) and I think I can say something that helps, I'll mention it.
 
Do I do it? Rarely, but then I regret it. People really don't want to hear about others illnesses and see it as a bid for attention. It usually is a bid for attention, but not always.

I think sometimes the suffering one is just scared or getting scared and seeking a word or two of encouragement. Like yesterday I complained about a problem reaction to 2 vaccinations. I felt nervous about it and posted my complaint, I guess to calm down.

Repeat complainers are often seen as chronic whiners.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
I also had an incident at work where my supervisor didn't realize how serious my heart condition was ( I think he thought either that I was faking or was a hypochondriac). He called my doctor, who at the time was also our clinic doctor and Dr. T told him how serious my ailment could be. I told supervisor he better not ever do that again! I really let him have it. We were like a family there, so I wasn't afraid of ramifications of what I said.
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Wow, that would have made me angry, too! Isn't that (your doctor telling your supervisor how serious your ailment could be) a violation of HIPAA?
 
I don't think I tell random people I meet about illnesses and stuff. I always figure that most people aren't interested. The one except to that would be if something I did, helped alleviate the problem. I've come across a few 'cures' that have helped me and I've appreciated that helping word towards feeling better, so maybe something I say can help someone else. But I stay away from just talking about how crummy I feel and this happened, and that happened.....
 
This discussion brings to mind an English teacher of mine, who told the class that the term "perfect stranger" arises from the fact that, because you don't know that person, they are "perfect" (i.e., you don't know their flaws), and that makes them easy to confide in.

I'm not sure if this has any basis in fact.
 
KSav said:
This discussion brings to mind an English teacher of mine, who told the class that the term "perfect stranger" arises from the fact that, because you don't know that person, they are "perfect" (i.e., you don't know their flaws), and that makes them easy to confide in.

I'm not sure if this has any basis in fact.
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I've always thought "perfect stranger" meant that since we know diddly squat about them therefore, they are perfect in their strangeness to us.
 
KSav said:
Wow, that would have made me angry, too! Isn't that (your doctor telling your supervisor how serious your ailment could be) a violation of HIPAA?
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I could have seen it as a violation, but I think he did it to help my supervisor understand that I was legitimately sick and would need whatever time off I requested. Dr. T. worked closely with us during clinic hours, thus knew all of our staff. He was (is) a kind and caring man, so I believe he felt he was helping me. I wouldn't have been fired or anything like that, but he may not have understood that it wasn't a possibility.
 
It works the other way around for me. I don't unload on strangers; they unload on me. If you're pleasant and even remotely friendly, they're off and running.

In fact, just yesterday, while I was loading bags into my trunk in the grocery store parking lot, the elderly man who gathers the carts approached me and said, I'll take that for you." I replied, “Thank you." That was all it took before he was on a roll. I might add that it was also drizzling the whole time. He had a hood over his head. I had my hair. When I opened my car door, he just kept talking. I got in and finally said, "Take it easy; I have to go."

You're unaware of other people's situations. They might be lonely, so they seize the chance to talk when they can. I didn't want to be rude. If it wasn't raining and I didn't have four half gallons of ice cream in my trunk, I'd have given him a few more minutes.
Jules said:
They ask us “how are you?”
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I've been known to answer, "Busy, tired, and broke; thanks for asking, and how are you?" 😆
 
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