Did you ever witness a stand up argument between your parents and your grandparents ?

hollydolly

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
When I was 4 years old I was sent to another city to live with my grandparents.. when I was 6 I was sent back..to this day I have no idea why I was there.. however it didn't seem too bad at the time.. and we all just jogged along with our lives.

My mother didn't get on well with her inlaws, my father's family, and she suffered my paternal grandparents with a stiff upper lip.. never actually rocking any boats..

I visited my grandparents often.. my mother didn't...except one day when I was 15.. and already out earning my own living.. she and I were at my grandmothers house together for the first time in years.. and while we were there.. in a casual manner ( you have to remember that I was used to beatings from my father on almost daily basis)...I pointed out the 5 foot stick behind the kitchen door which my grandmother used to beat me with ..

My mother was incensed, I'd never mentioned it before.. she stormed into the livingroom where my granny sat.. and confronted her in a rage..

My granny was blaming my now long dead grandfather for it.. ''Not me''.it was him''.... it wasn't..it was her, but I was mortified because I hadn't intend for her to be faced with this from my mum 10 years after the fact.. because having been used to beatings from my father, and my mother never defending me, it was something and nothing to me.. and I'd just mentioned the stick in passing..never even dreaming she'd say or do anything in my defence

Well that gave my mother the excuse she needed then never to have anything more to do with my granny......but I still did, and my granny never blamed me for telling..
 

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hollydolly said:
When I was 4 years old I was sent to another city to live with my granparents.. when I was 6 I was sent back..to this day I have no idea why I was there.. however it didn't seem too bad at the time.. and we all just jogged along with our lives.

My mother didn't get on well with her inlaws, my father's family, and she suffered my paternal grandparents with a stiff upper lip.. never actually rocking any boats..

I visited my granparents often.. my mother didn't...excet one day when Iw as 15.. and already out earning my own living.. she and I were at my gradmothers house together for the first time in years.. and while we were there.. in a casual manner ( you have to remember that I was used to beatings from my father on almost daily basis)...I pointed out the 5 fot stick behid the kitchen door which my grandmother used to beat me with ..

My mother was incenced, I'd never mentioned it before.. she stormed into the livingroom where my granny sat.. and confronted her in a rage..

My granny was blaming my now long dead grandfather for it.. ''Not me''.it was him''.... it wasn't..it was her, but I was mortified because I hadn't intended for her to be faced with this from my mum 10 years after the fact.. beause having been used to beatings from my father, and my mother never defendinng me, it was something and nothing to me.. and I'd just mentioned the stick in passing..never even dreaming she'd say or do anything in my defence

Well that gave my mother the excuse she needed then never to have anything more to do with my granny......but I still did, and my granny never blamed me for telling..
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I'm so sorry that happened to you! I can remember a few of the spankings that I got and can still feel a physical reaction to that memory, but for you to get daily beatings was just unconscionable! Poor young you hollydolly.
 
I think in the past, people tended to keep their differences private. I know that my mother was disliked by my father's family, but I think they kept their opinions to themselves.
 

Lavinia said:
I think in the past, people tended to keep their differences private. I know that my mother was disliked by my father's family, but I think they kept their opinions to themselves.
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Like I said my mother never said anything to my grandparents..who were actually long divorced, and my grandmother had remarried..to a man we called Grandad..anyway, even tho' he wasn't related ...even tho' she disliked them intensely, she went along with the charade...until the day I mentioned the beatings with the stick. That gave her a concrete reason to show exactly what she thought of my my grandmother..
 
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My maternal grandparents and my dad fought all the time, they were all heavy drinkers so typical drunk fights. My mom rarely drank so would go hide in her room when things started to get loud, I don't remember ever seeing her argue with her parents.

True facts....my dad was friends with my mom's parents when she was young, my dad (born 1902) was actually older than my mom's parents, (born 1908 & 1910). Mom (born 1925) fell pregnant at 15 so my dad married her, I would guess that's where all the hostility between them originated.
 
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Oh boy-did I ever! My dad and his MIL (my grandmother) did NOT get along at all! Every single holiday getogether ended in a fight (not physical). My dad just loved to "rattle her cage"-and she his.My poor mom was always trying to be the peacemaker.

Looking back,it was really pretty crappy that us kids had to spend every holiday in that atmosphere. My dad was bipolar,so we were pretty used to some pretty chaotic times,but we could always count on it at holidays.
 

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