Things you need to know if ya move South.

Ken N Tx

Ken N Tx

MALE
Location
Texas
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. Onced and Twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something.
10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural.
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Cajun seasoning, Tabasco, and ketchup.
20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.
21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)
22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know what a hissy fit is..
24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the South.
AND one more:
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!
 
hollydolly said:
here people say Bless your heart and mean it as an endearment... once I said it on the forum, and someone said to me, that it also means '' you thick stupid person''.. in many parts of the USA...:ROFLMAO:
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It can mean something like that. Usually it means they are trying to be kind but really just can't relate to whatever you are complaining about.

Ex: "I can't afford the new I-phone and will have to keep using my old one!"
"Well, bless your heart". ;)
 
Down in the southern part of the state, we’ve become Northern Mexico …that influence has been strong for quite some time.
Different lingo here than in northern Texas.


Houston:
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Ken N Tx said:
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. Onced and Twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something.
10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural.
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Cajun seasoning, Tabasco, and ketchup.
20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.
21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)
22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know what a hissy fit is..
24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the South.
AND one more:
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!
Click to expand...
I lived in Merlin (Maryland) but not Ballmer (Balitmore) for well over 30 yrs. and have heard or used all of these. There's another for eating "Jetyet?".

There are a good amount of trailers in varying degrees of livability. They are all occupied. Same with the cars. Don't mess with a woman in anyway, age size or intelligence : she will come for you. Art is some guy you knew in grade school. "Mama" is in charge of everything, even a sunny day.

Thanks for posting thse Ken N Tx....I still use "ya'll and these brought back so many memories. When I first moved to the South I literally could not understand what they said.
 
"He like to put his poor mama in her grave with all his carryings-on but she just wouldn't hear a bad word about him, bless her heart."

Translation: "She was foolish about that boy, but we still love her."

"That boy had a good raisin' but dint seem like none of it took, bless his heart."

Translation: " He's a complete disappointment, but he's kin so we gotta keep him."
 
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We moved from South Florida to Dallas. I walked into a Dillards to buy a suit shortly after we had moved and told them I thought they were a bit traditional for my taste (I meant the cut of their suits). The buyer was there and she said "Well, bless your heart". That's when I found out what it really meant! :ROFLMAO:
 
We have armadillos here in GA. The decades I lived here in the past, I never saw an armadillo. Now I've laid eyes on 2 dead ones (road kill).

For someone used to living in the Northeast, being back in the South is wonderful. It takes a lot of getting used to all the bugs and snakes though.
 
hollydolly said:
...well I don't see anything wrong with that... here in the south of england...weell in my house... Chocolate is a vegetable..

I mean chocolate comes from Coca beans.. Beans are a vegetable...ergo chocolate is a vegetable..:p:D
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Chocolate *is* a vegetable. It is not an animal or a mineral, therefore it is a vegetable. However, re the macros, the added sugar carries it over the top carbs-wise. So, like pure sugar, it's probably not a healthy vegetable, but it's my favorite vegetable, even though I'm a northerner passionately hating to butt in, I do concede that:
Chocoate is neither animal nr mineral
Chocolate melts into heavenly goodness
Therefore, chocolate is a super-healthy vegetable
 
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WheatenLover said:
We have armadillos here in GA. The decades I lived here in the past, I never saw an armadillo. Now I've laid eyes on 2 dead ones (road kill).

For someone used to living in the Northeast, being back in the South is wonderful. It takes a lot of getting used to all the bugs and snakes though.
Click to expand...
Aka possum on the half shell.
Snakes make nice belts.
 
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