Not that anyone is asking

@Murrmurr was this diagnosed after an MRI? Did they only check your back or did they also check your hips on the MRI. The only reason I bring this up is because I went for a year with lower back pain. Kept getting the pinched nerve and sciatic hanging of the side off the bed.

Got the MRI and my hip had totally collapsed, shattered. Doc comes in and says I don't know how you are walking at all. Had a hip replacement the next week. Surgery was a walk in the park pain wise to what it was before. I still get achy when I walk too much and in cold weather but for the rest of the time I am just fine.

The final thing, when the hip collapsed it felt like being stabbed with a large knife in the groin.
 

Pinky said:
I suffer from leg cramps too .. though nothing close to what you are enduring. It's maddening that nothing helps. Trying to walk with leg cramps is near impossible. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I believe it must be unbearable.
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You've mentioned your leg cramps before. And they're not just regular leg cramps, right? That's why massage, heat, and lotions and stuff do not have any effect at all. This type of cramp is caused by a nerve; the peroneal nerve. It branches off a nerve root in your lumbar spine, runs down your leg, around your knee, down your shin, down the top of your foot and on into your first two toes.

I've had a numb spot between my large toe and the 2nd toe for years, because the peroneal nerve is damaged somewhere along the line.

I encourage you to walk when those cramps happen. I know it's difficult and it hurts a lot, and your leg sometimes won't take the weight, but you gotta force it, because it does make it stop. It takes anywhere from 3 to 7 minutes, but those cramps last me for up to 20-30 minutes, so, unless yours don't last very long, it's worth it.

I just walk around the living room until it eases up significantly, then I sit for a while to make sure it's not going to flare back up again (I can feel it coming). If it does start to flare up again, I get back on my feet and walk around for another few minutes.
Pinky said:
Hopefully, your doctor will prescribe the morphine. At this point, if that's all that will help, then it's what you need.
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I sure hope she will.

It'll create a big hassle for her because the FDA is discouraging doctors from prescribing it, and makes them fill out a bunch of forms, and they have to fill some of them out every month for a while, and she and I have to sign at least one of them every year. Plus they'll investigate her whole medical group, if they haven't done an investigation in over 6 months, and that'll make her director angry.

So, that's what I'm up against with the morphine request.
 

Blessed said:
@Murrmurr was this diagnosed after an MRI? Did they only check your back or did they also check your hips on the MRI. The only reason I bring this up is because I went for a year with lower back pain. Kept getting the pinched nerve and sciatic hanging of the side off the bed.

Got the MRI and my hip had totally collapsed, shattered. Doc comes in and says I don't know how you are walking at all. Had a hip replacement the next week. Surgery was a walk in the park pain wise to what it was before. I still get achy when I walk too much and in cold weather but for the rest of the time I am just fine.

The final thing, when the hip collapsed it felt like being stabbed with a large knife in the groin.
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Yes, they saw it on an MRI. I did some research before I saw my neurologist, so I was able to describe the symptoms using terms he was familiar with, like naming the nerves that were likely the source of the problems. He thought maybe I had another cyst or even a tumor on a certain nerve, or near it. That's mainly why he ordered an MRI.

They focused on my lower spine, my hips, and my lower legs.
 
Imogene said:
Two things I did that 99% eliminated leg cramps:

1. Eat a few soda crackers (salt) because I sweat so much at the barn.

2. Take magnesium MALATE daily. MALATE has more bioavailability than any other oral form of magnesium.
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I do take magnesium. I think it helps, but it doesn't eliminate them.

An MRI confirmed the cramps are caused by nerve damage.
 
Murrmurr said:
This new pain I talked about in post #1,860 isn't getting any better. My doctor increased my pain med a bit and emailed me some specific exercises for a pinched obturator nerve (one diagnosis) but that isn't helping at all. Neither are the cannabidiol gummies my wonderful DIL brought me.

Obturator nerve damage is irreparable, and the pinched obturator nerve exercises have a pretty low success rate. People sometimes wind up getting surgery to fix the problem, and the surgery is very risky and often causes more problems, including permanent paralysis...painful paralysis. It's most risky for patients who've already had nerve-related surgery, like me.

But I can't stand this. One of the worst symptoms is groin pain. It's an intense stinging, burning pain, and it feels like someone's holding a lit match under my balls all the time. It's horrible.

It's also causing more super-painful leg and foot cramps, and a fiery burning sensation and numbness in my leg; sometimes the left leg, but usually the right one. And this happens nearly every day. When it does, I walk around here dragging my leg behind me, if I can walk at all....and the leg hurts like hell the whole time. If I don't walk around as best I can, the pain gets even worse.

Makes my eyes get full of tears sometimes, I'm serious. It is really horrible.

I'm gonna stick it out through the holidays, and probly keep an appointment I have with my neurologist in Feb, but he needs to come up with an effective plan. And I want a guarantee of at least 70% improvement. I think I could live with that. And Michelle's pretty well set; she's already an LPN and well on her way to being an RN, if she wants, and she's earned a couple certificates in child mental health, plus her car's paid for and I paid the house off last Christmas, so I'm not worried about any of that. I also have an appt with my reg doctor in Feb, and I'm going to talk to her about morphine. I prefer actual morphine to any type of synthetic.

I mean, why would I worry about addiction? That's just stupid, from my perspective...a total non-issue.
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Just throwing this out there. Could you possibly get better care from an independent care physician? Maybe less of a problem getting pain meds? Easier to get in to see them?
The one that we know doesn't take insurance, but we pay a yearly subscription fee for my wife and I. See him as many times as we need to during the year. Anything that he can do at his clinic we don't get charged for. Any place he sends us for care is paid for by our insurance.
They are not under the thumb of the big corporate medical industry, so they are not timed how long they spend with a patient. They spend as much time as is needed. If we need him on a weekend, he will meet us at his clinic.
Many more good things about it, but I don't know how the ones are operated in your area.
 
stretch5881 said:
Just throwing this out there. Could you possibly get better care from an independent care physician? Maybe less of a problem getting pain meds? Easier to get in to see them?
...
They are not under the thumb of the big corporate medical industry, so they are not timed how long they spend with a patient. They spend as much time as is needed. If we need him on a weekend, he will meet us at his clinic.
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My doctor is associated with a major medical university. What I love about that is that medical universities have early access to medical research and, even better, imo, the latest medical equipment, including experimental equipment.
stretch5881 said:
Many more good things about it, but I don't know how the ones are operated in your area.
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It's probably Calif gov't policy to allow the FDA to do all the snooping and governing they believe serves a greater good.

Our independent pharmacies, for example, are basically vitamin and band-aid dispensaries. :(
 
Murrmurr said:
This new pain I talked about in post #1,860 isn't getting any better. My doctor increased my pain med a bit and emailed me some specific exercises for a pinched obturator nerve (one diagnosis) but that isn't helping at all. Neither are the cannabidiol gummies my wonderful DIL brought me.

Obturator nerve damage is irreparable, and the pinched obturator nerve exercises have a pretty low success rate. People sometimes wind up getting surgery to fix the problem, and the surgery is very risky and often causes more problems, including permanent paralysis...painful paralysis. It's most risky for patients who've already had nerve-related surgery, like me.

But I can't stand this. One of the worst symptoms is groin pain. It's an intense stinging, burning pain, and it feels like someone's holding a lit match under my balls all the time. It's horrible.

It's also causing more super-painful leg and foot cramps, and a fiery burning sensation and numbness in my leg; sometimes the left leg, but usually the right one. And this happens nearly every day. When it does, I walk around here dragging my leg behind me, if I can walk at all....and the leg hurts like hell the whole time. If I don't walk around as best I can, the pain gets even worse.

Makes my eyes get full of tears sometimes, I'm serious. It is really horrible.

I'm gonna stick it out through the holidays, and probly keep an appointment I have with my neurologist in Feb, but he needs to come up with an effective plan. And I want a guarantee of at least 70% improvement. I think I could live with that. And Michelle's pretty well set; she's already an LPN and well on her way to being an RN, if she wants, and she's earned a couple certificates in child mental health, plus her car's paid for and I paid the house off last Christmas, so I'm not worried about any of that. I also have an appt with my reg doctor in Feb, and I'm going to talk to her about morphine. I prefer actual morphine to any type of synthetic.

I mean, why would I worry about addiction? That's just stupid, from my perspective...a total non-issue.
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Thank you for the update, Murrmurr, and please keep them coming.
 
Sometimes leg cramps so bad during night. The only thing that helps is to get up and walk, if possible, but getting up, lowering legs over bed, I have high mattress so my legs dangle like a little kid, can't reach floor.

Frank, on my way out door to watch grandson today. Yours is first post I saw. I'm so sorry what you're suffering through.

Will get back here later, anxious to know more about you, dear man, brave man, my friend.
 
Murrmurr said:
You've mentioned your leg cramps before. And they're not just regular leg cramps, right? That's why massage, heat, and lotions and stuff do not have any effect at all. This type of cramp is caused by a nerve; the peroneal nerve. It branches off a nerve root in your lumbar spine, runs down your leg, around your knee, down your shin, down the top of your foot and on into your first two toes.

I've had a numb spot between my large toe and the 2nd toe for years, because the peroneal nerve is damaged somewhere along the line.

I encourage you to walk when those cramps happen. I know it's difficult and it hurts a lot, and your leg sometimes won't take the weight, but you gotta force it, because it does make it stop. It takes anywhere from 3 to 7 minutes, but those cramps last me for up to 20-30 minutes, so, unless yours don't last very long, it's worth it.

I just walk around the living room until it eases up significantly, then I sit for a while to make sure it's not going to flare back up again (I can feel it coming). If it does start to flare up again, I get back on my feet and walk around for another few minutes.

I sure hope she will.

It'll create a big hassle for her because the FDA is discouraging doctors from prescribing it, and makes them fill out a bunch of forms, and they have to fill some of them out every month for a while, and she and I have to sign at least one of them every year. Plus they'll investigate her whole medical group, if they haven't done an investigation in over 6 months, and that'll make her director angry.

So, that's what I'm up against with the morphine request.
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It's inconvenient, to say the least, when the leg cramps come on while out visiting .. like the other night, at my sister's Xmas dinner. There's something about her dining chairs that causes the tops of my thighs to cramp badly. I had to force myself to walk, up and down the hallway .. excruciating .. so, I very much feel for you @Murrmurr
 
Murmurr, that sounds horrible what you are experiencing. I really hope your doctor prescribes morphine. I can’t imagine being in that level of pain on a daily basis.
 
Pepper said:
Sometimes leg cramps so bad during night. The only thing that helps is to get up and walk, if possible, but getting up, lowering legs over bed, I have high mattress so my legs dangle like a little kid, can't reach floor.

Frank, on my way out door to watch grandson today. Yours is first post I saw. I'm so sorry what you're suffering through.

Will get back here later, anxious to know more about you, dear man, brave man, my friend.
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Can you get steps?
 
Pinky said:
It's inconvenient, to say the least, when the leg cramps come on while out visiting .. like the other night, at my sister's Xmas dinner. There's something about her dining chairs that causes the tops of my thighs to cramp badly. I had to force myself to walk, up and down the hallway .. excruciating .. so, I very much feel for you @Murrmurr
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And there's something about this office chair I'm sitting on that helps stop my leg-foot cramps when they flare up.

Obviously, your sister's dining chairs are either too firm or too giving (or too tall) for a nerve in your spine or in your hips. In either case, take a cushion or pillow with you next time, to see if that helps. Even the slightest adjustment will make a big difference in how long you can sit on those chairs without the nerve reacting to the compression or other type of disturbance they are causing.

I assume you're not tall...whatever type of chair you sit on, the height needs to be at a level that allows you to rest your feet flat on the floor. If your toes can touch but your heels can't, the seat is too high. It's putting tension on the nerves in your spine and hips the entire time you're sitting on it. A few minutes is ok; 10 minutes or more will cause nerve fatigue or distress, which causes the nerve to react. And it might react hours later, but it will definitely react.
 
stretch5881 said:
I had forgot about university hospitals.
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This one asked me if I wanted to participate in spinal studies, and I signed up. I've participated in 4 studies so far, including a study on the efficacy of a newly developed full-body scan machine.

I also requested donating my remains to the university, and they accepted. I'm pretty chuffed about that.
 
Murrmurr said:
And there's something about this office chair I'm sitting on that helps stop my leg-foot cramps when they flare up.

Obviously, your sister's dining chairs are either too firm or too giving (or too tall) for a nerve in your spine or in your hips. In either case, take a cushion or pillow with you next time, to see if that helps. Even the slightest adjustment will make a big difference in how long you can sit on those chairs without the nerve reacting to the compression or other type of disturbance they are causing.

I assume you're not tall...whatever type of chair you sit on, the height needs to be at a level that allows you to rest your feet flat on the floor. If your toes can touch but your heels can't, the seat is too high. It's putting tension on the nerves in your spine and hips the entire time you're sitting on it. A few minutes is ok; 10 minutes or more will cause nerve fatigue or distress, which causes the nerve to react. And it might react hours later, but it will definitely react.
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I'm 5ft-zip .. I will try the cushion thing next time. In fact, I will take my gel cushion which is on my computer chair. Sister's dining room chairs are padded, but not cushy .. and I think I need cushy, and a bit high for the length of my legs.

Thank you for the tips, Murr - meanwhile, I hope that prescription comes through for you.
 
So, me and Melanie still meet for lunch once a month, but in Sept I asked if we could start having lunch here at the house...mainly because I quit driving, but also because of my pain. And, since we'd be meeting here, I told her to feel free to bring some kids if she wanted to, or needed to.

Melanie and Tony have 5 kids now, 3 of their own and two that they adopted after being their foster parents for a while....all girls. So, getting to bring a few of them with her was a break for Tony and Melanie's mom. They usually babysat them while me and Mel had these lunches.

Anyway, Mel brought along her 2 oldest daughters in Oct and Nov.

In Oct, I made a pasta dish that was my favorite when I was a kid, and set up a salad bar, and I also made egg salad for sandwiches. The girls liked the pasta dish (except they used their forks to pick out the peas 😄), and they all loved the egg salad, which has a dash of my "secret ingredient" in it; marjoram.

Turns out the salad bar idea was unnecessary, so in Nov, I kept it simple...I just made tacos. Good idea! Everybody had seconds.

Well, unbeknownst to me, Melanie's daughters sort of grew attached to me, or felt a kinship or whatever. She said that, at home, they started calling me Uncle Frank, and asking when would they go to Uncle Frank's for lunch again; like on the 1st, they'd be asking, "Mommy, did you call Uncle Frank yet?" "When is our lunch-date with Uncle Frank this month?"

Anyhow, because December is undoubtedly a super busy one for Mel & Tony, what with 5 kids, Melanie asked if she and the girls could just pop in for a quick Christmas visit, and I said Sure, and to bring the whole family if she wanted to.

So that's what we did; no lunch, just a brief Merry Christmas visit on the 21st. Tony came along, which was really cool - I hadn't seen him since the summer of '23 - and she brought their 2 youngest daughters as well, so 4 out of 5, and the baby stayed with Mel's mom.

Now, a little background -- a couple months ago, I emailed Melanie 3 recipes that are especially for kids because there's only 3 ingredients, they're easy to make, and they're really yummy. One was a bread recipe, and 2 were cookie recipes.

So, back to this month's visit, I'd baked a big batch of sugar cookies and a small batch of shortbread cookies as a small Christmas gift to the whole family.


And here's the heart-tugger....Mel's oldest daughter, Aubry, baked some cookies for me, using 2 of the recipes I'd emailed to her mom. She put them in a little Christmas tin and gave them to me as a gift. 🥹


We had a really fun visit, and as they were leaving, Mel whispered to me that ever since Aubry had baked those cookies, she'd been on pins and needles over whether or not I'd like them...like this was important to her.

I didn't eat any while they were here, but I tried them right after they left and I'm telling you in all honesty, they were perfect! I'm not kidding...perfect tenderness and perfect done-ness. That's not as simple an achievement as it sounds. It takes experience, and, more importantly, familiarity with your oven, both of which take time.

And that's what I text to Mel....all that ^ starting from "they were perfect!"

Mel text me back that she showed my text to Aubry, and she was ecstatic over it. (btw, Aubry is only 9)

Best lunch-a-month ever, imo.
 
Pinky said:
Awww, @Murrmurr .. you are the best - and, your way with kids is so lovely. That's why they love you so much. It would have made Aubry to happy to know how perfect you thought her cookies were 🤗
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It took me a while to come to terms with Melanie's (and Tony's) decision to give up fostering Paxton and his twin siblings, but they had the 5 girls already, and 2 of them were infants at the time. And I know it was a really tough decision for Mel; she called me and cried over the phone 3 or 4 times, at least.

I forgave her. And that was a tough decision for me. I mean, all I can do is hope Paxton has a good, happy life despite his new father's [cussing occurs here] idiocy and self-serving [more cussing] narcissism.
 
I hope that Paxton is being influenced by the positive things and people around him .. and know that you also hold onto that hope. Your influence on Paxton, would be instilled in him. It's amazing what very young kids remember. You have been a loving role model, and that counts for a lot.
 
Pinky said:
I hope that Paxton is being influenced by the positive things and people around him .. and know that you also hold onto that hope. Your influence on Paxton, would be instilled in him. It's amazing what very young kids remember. You have been a loving role model, and that counts for a lot.
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I hope so. It's part of him, I agree, but a lot happened to him after he left my fostership, most of it very bad. And that changed him, for sure. Whether or not it basically erased all the goodness in him is impossible for me to say...I haven't had contact with him since he was 3, and that was a very brief one-way "conversation" over Brandon's phone.

As for Paxton remembering me, he's 6 now, and he was only 2yrs and 4 months when his mother was granted custody. But I had him for weekends until he was 3yrs and a few months, so there's that.

I can recall a lot of memory from when I was 5, but I can remember only 3 things that happened to me when I was 2 and 3, and they were all bad things.

And these were things that happened to me, not general memories about my family and my environment, just these 3 specific traumas and where they happened. Except for those, I don't remember being 2 and 3, or even 4, and few people do. And that's why I worry that Paxton won't remember his Dad (and later, "Uncle Frank", because his ***** ***** mother insisted).

But I think it's realistic to hope his goodness is still a part of him. His anger is, too, I'm sure of that, but maybe his goodness will help him overcome the issues that promises.

Plus, he still spends occasional weekends with Mel & Tony!
 
Pepper said:
Sometimes leg cramps so bad during night.
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My husband has Parkinson’s and leg cramps are common in the early morning. There was a suggestion to drink a small can of cold tonic water when waking to go to the toilet in the middle of the night. It has helped (knock on wood). It’s the quinine that’s the important ingredient. It can’t be more than that small amount otherwise you could have too much.
 

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