You could symathize with the sufferers named in this video. You've chosen to sabotage the thread instead thereby taking on the role of those who are at fault for the very problem being discussed in the video itself.
Nice People: It Must Be Said But Saying It Won't Help
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OldFeller
Well-known Member
- Location
- Pennsylvania, USA
I'm introverted and enjoy my own company over that of others. In a short conversation you would get the impression that I'm open to people but you'd be disappointed the next time when I had nothing to say.
However, I like talking to people I've known all my life. Primarily my kids and a few friends.
I find that people are more interested in themselves so I would have to be just as interested in them as they are. Which explains why I like to talk to my kids.
I have one friend ever since grade school who calls me twice a year and we talk a couple hours on the phone. He's extroverted from a large family and his comfort zone is socializing. He's got more people and their stories in his head than anyone should have.
Another friend since high school I enjoy talking to but he's like me and prefers his own company to that of others. He let's you know that he's busy. But we can talk awhile on the phone.
However, I like talking to people I've known all my life. Primarily my kids and a few friends.
I find that people are more interested in themselves so I would have to be just as interested in them as they are. Which explains why I like to talk to my kids.
I have one friend ever since grade school who calls me twice a year and we talk a couple hours on the phone. He's extroverted from a large family and his comfort zone is socializing. He's got more people and their stories in his head than anyone should have.
Another friend since high school I enjoy talking to but he's like me and prefers his own company to that of others. He let's you know that he's busy. But we can talk awhile on the phone.
Did not watch videos.
Premise stated in OP is false premise - nice people do not always end up being alone.
Plenty of nice people in relationships and/or surrounded in life by other people.
People who are alone aren't one homogeneous group any more than people who are not alone.
Premise stated in OP is false premise - nice people do not always end up being alone.
Plenty of nice people in relationships and/or surrounded in life by other people.
People who are alone aren't one homogeneous group any more than people who are not alone.
Warrigal
SF VIP
- Location
- Sydney, Australia
Watching a video is likely to alter my opinion; an opinion that is based on my life experiences?
I don't think so.
You are entitled to your opinion on the matter but I disagree with the definitive statement that "nice people always end up being alone".
Actually, I'm not going to watch the video because it does not interest me. No offence intended.
StarSong
Awkward is my Superpower
- Location
- Los Angeles Suburbs
Nobody sabotaged your thread. Saying it's helpful to include a real summary of a video is far from taking on a victimizing role.
Alone is in the eye of the of the beholder,
DailyArtsyCrafter
Crafter Writer Artist
- Location
- Southeastern US
The ability to bridle the tongue is a wise discipline. What a lovely tribute to your mom! I am sure she is/would be so proud.
This.
I watched it also and seemed to be a set up for a codependent type of situation with others. That's doesn't seem healthy to me.
Looks like the OP will never have to worry about being alone.
OregonGuy
Senior Member
When Nice Guys Finish First
Consider this choice: Given two individuals with equivalent talent and skills, who do you look up to and prefer to work with, promote, or invite onto a project? Chances are it's the more compassionate one.
If that sounds intuitively right, it's now getting some backing by science—with a few conditions. Wharton professor Adam Grant argues that kindness and compassion give us a far greater advantage than self-absorption. Nice guys do finish first, he explains, as long as they learn how not to let others take advantage of them.
In his best-selling book, Give and Take, Grant explains that compassionate leaders sometimes do lose out. People who care about others’ well-being and look out for their colleagues and employees—the group Grant calls "givers"—are overrepresented at the bottom of the success ladder. This is because often selfish "takers" mow them down. But here’s the surprising finding: Grant also reveals that "givers" are overrepresented at the very top of the success ladder, too. How can that be?
It turns out that people like and appreciate givers more. They therefore become more influential. The difference between successful and unsuccessful givers often comes down to strategy: when givers learn strategies that prevent others from taking advantage of them, their "nice" qualities end up helping them succeed above and beyond anyone else. Why? In part because everyone loves working with them and appreciates them for their kind and giving qualities.
source = https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201602/why-nice-guys-really-do-finish-first
Consider this choice: Given two individuals with equivalent talent and skills, who do you look up to and prefer to work with, promote, or invite onto a project? Chances are it's the more compassionate one.
If that sounds intuitively right, it's now getting some backing by science—with a few conditions. Wharton professor Adam Grant argues that kindness and compassion give us a far greater advantage than self-absorption. Nice guys do finish first, he explains, as long as they learn how not to let others take advantage of them.
In his best-selling book, Give and Take, Grant explains that compassionate leaders sometimes do lose out. People who care about others’ well-being and look out for their colleagues and employees—the group Grant calls "givers"—are overrepresented at the bottom of the success ladder. This is because often selfish "takers" mow them down. But here’s the surprising finding: Grant also reveals that "givers" are overrepresented at the very top of the success ladder, too. How can that be?
It turns out that people like and appreciate givers more. They therefore become more influential. The difference between successful and unsuccessful givers often comes down to strategy: when givers learn strategies that prevent others from taking advantage of them, their "nice" qualities end up helping them succeed above and beyond anyone else. Why? In part because everyone loves working with them and appreciates them for their kind and giving qualities.
source = https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201602/why-nice-guys-really-do-finish-first
"Always" is a word that should seldom be used. I will say that "sometimes" nice people end up alone because they have been used/abused by those who are not nice and the nice person refuses to have anything to do with the not nice person. I have ditched a number of so-called friends, and a few family members, for that very reason. I will have nothing to do with them.
And I am fine spending most of my time alone rather than being with those who cannot be trusted.
And I am fine spending most of my time alone rather than being with those who cannot be trusted.
David777
Well-known Member
- Location
- Silicon Valley
Listened to the first couple few minutes of the long 27 minute video with his nauseating conversational style that obviously purposely avoids referencing his title as though such will come later if one will only bear watching the whole whatever with ads. So then spot checked further in the video that seemed the same blabbering before bailing.
Also the OP's title was an obvious over-generalization that at most should have been posed as a relative statement. Like possibly to bait some members that obviously disagree, into responses. Posed like a tr
thread title is:
Why do nice people always end up being alone?
thread title should be:
Why do I think some nice people always end up being alone?
Also the OP's title was an obvious over-generalization that at most should have been posed as a relative statement. Like possibly to bait some members that obviously disagree, into responses. Posed like a tr
thread title is:
Why do nice people always end up being alone?
thread title should be:
Why do I think some nice people
Brookswood
Senior Member
Last edited:
He's not the the LEAST bit a sissy or girlie man. He's a very successful, nice guy! He'd stand up for himself I'm sure and he's one of my favorite rock
stars! 
dilettante
Well-known Member
- Location
- Michigan
This thread makes a pretty good Rorschach test.
Later! Much later.