Virus that killed Gene Hackman's wife kills 3 in California

hollydolly said:
There are thousands of elderly people.. much older than she was looking after Dementia afflicted partners they don't let their houses get in this mess.....


This is the bath, filled with boxes and garbage .....when was the last time they used the bath...?

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Boxes and trash blocking the shower...

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Didn't they find her in a bathroom? A house like that probably had 3-4 bathrooms . Even if using as storage that's not good.

Some local codes say the room like a bathroom should be able to be used as one/intended Can't use that one for it's actual purpose. She might have known it and didn't want outsiders in until she took care of.

. Also the hoarder I knew started throwing stuff in rooms to keep other rooms clean. It's when those other rooms are not clean or clutter free that 'this' turns into a bigger issue.
 

smiley said:
full expose of your life after death or not ? - should it be written into your will or is this IN the public interest? - in my view disgusting no - not the findings the disclosures - eroding privacy ; eroding dignity - almost like another film set?
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I could see a limited number of pictures but some actually want to disclose the pictures of the bodies and that's a big NO for me. I think the kids won that one in court already.

Get or accept help. Those pictures can be used to learn, for a reminder or warning.
 
WhatInThe said:
Didn't they find her in a bathroom? A house like that probably had 3-4 bathrooms . Even if using as storage that's not good.

Some local codes say the room like a bathroom should be able to be used as one/intended Can't use that one for it's actual purpose. She might have known it and didn't want outsiders in until she took care of.

. Also the hoarder I knew started throwing stuff in rooms to keep other rooms clean. It's when those other rooms are not clean or clutter free that 'this' turns into a bigger issue.
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yes however all the rooms , were filled with clutter
 

UpstateGal said:
You try being 63, taking care of your 95 year old husband with dementia and bad heart, taking care of 3 large dogs in an 8700 sq foot home without any help. The real story is why didn't Betsy hire help for housekeeping and Gene's health care?

I am willing to bet the reason why their friends stopped visiting a few years prior was because Betsy wanted to avoid answering these questions.

I honestly don't like to speak ill of the dead, so I won't poke at Betsy's character anymore. The media is disgusting in keeping this story alive at this point, all for click bait. I even hate myself when I took a peek at the photos. But I did it with sympathy not judgement.
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Apparently Gene Hackmans's net worth was about $80 million at the time of his death. They definately could have afforded to hire full time help.
 
When I had my home appraised some years ago, the appraiser said he couldn’t believe some of the conditions people live in. Looks like a normal home front the street outside, but inside/backyard is an explosion of stuff. He was relieved to do a tidy home and gave kudos.

Hoarding and clutter. It’s not a money issue. It’s a mental health problem. Related to OCD, anxiety and depression from what I understand.
 
From the pictures I looked at it didn't seem like garbage, I'd describe it as clutter. Lots of stuff, lots of clutter, but not extreme in my opinion.

There was a picture of garbage in a garbage can, but gee that is where it goes. And the picture of what looks like a wrinkled gourd and blackened pears...they were dead for a while, I think I'd give them a pass on the pears going bad!

I saw several of the pictures included clear and sometimes quite clean areas of floor space.

And I'm not sure what the writer wanted to imply by the picture of a drawer of prescription type bottles, but it looked to me like stuff from the vet for their pets, decently organized.
 
The hoarder I knew had a lot of physical issues along with arrogance including they were going to live forever and/or could do what everyone else did. They didn't accept they were disabled or handicapped until their mid 80s and by then it was too late even after starting to accept help. They always assumed eventually things cleaned up. When health and physical issues got worse it was basically game over.

I think his wife was able to take care of husband until the last year or two. She probably was developing her own issues that limited or reduced activity. When you are taking care of people projects frequently get interrupted and one learns don't plan anything big. Not only was her husband work she probably realized she would be his aid to the end. That's good and bad because one's outside life and/or career would take a backseat.

Regardless it comes back to herself/them accepting the fact they needed help let alone finding some.
 
My basement was about as bad as that, at least in the unfinished side. But I attacked it, bin by bin, threw out a lot, donated a lot, and optimized storage. Now, it is very clean and organized and I will make sure it stays that way.

But yeah, if you have that much clutter and mice find a way in, then you have a real problem. We had mice when we first moved in but I found and sealed up all entry points, and also employed some feline armed guards on the outside. And even without clutter, mice will find hiding places. I used to find boots partially filled with dog food or bird seed!
 
Michael Z said:
My basement was about as bad as that, at least in the unfinished side. But I attacked it, bin by bin, threw out a lot, donated a lot, and optimized storage. Now, it is very clean and organized and I will make sure it stays that way.

But yeah, if you have that much clutter and mice find a way in, then you have a real problem. We had mice when we first moved in but I found and sealed up all entry points, and also employed some feline armed guards on the outside.
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Feline guards outside will do it perhaps a Jack Russel inside or another incredible dog not many know of a Patterdale terrier .
 
PeppermintPatty said:
The Patterdale terrier.
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Most terrier are great mice hunters. Our little Yorkshire terrier was a great hunter.
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Yes terriers are amazing and surprised you know Patterdales as most never heard of them .

I had Alapaha bulldogs 20 years ago but saw Patterdales at a dog obstacle course and they tied with Jack Russel's

Do you have a dog now ?

I do not .
 
NotCompSavy said:
Yes terriers are amazing and surprised you know Patterdales as most never heard of them .

I had Alapaha bulldogs 20 years ago but saw Patterdales at a dog obstacle course and they tied with Jack Russel's

Do you have a dog now ?

I do not .
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We have two terriers. They mean everything to us. They killed a squirrel last year. I felt so bad for the squirrel. We had bird feeders out and as a joke I’d say ‘go get the squirrel!’
I didn’t for the life of me think they’d actually catch one. 🙁
 
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PeppermintPatty said:
We have two terriers. They mean everything to us. They killed a squirrel last year. I felt so bad for the squirrel. We had bird feeders out and as a joke I’d say ‘go get the squirrel’ as and some fun entertainment. I didn’t for the life of me think they’d actually catch one. 🙁
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Lol terriers can hunt.

Good thing you didn't tell them to get a skunk .
 
hollydolly said:
There are thousands of elderly people.. much older than she was looking after Dementia afflicted partners they don't let their houses get in this mess.....


This is the bath, filled with boxes and garbage .....when was the last time they used the bath...?

97342627-14617665-image-a-8_1744804103493.jpg


Boxes and trash blocking the shower...

97342825-14617665-image-a-13_1744804933590.jpg
Click to expand...
They had 8700 square feet of home, most likely this was unused space anyway. This picture of the bathroom was probably 1 of 4 bathrooms in their house....jeez, let it go!
 
hollydolly said:
OK so how do you know that I've never been in a similar situation?...just surmising as usual... aren't you..?

..and remember they made the choice not to have help at the house, some of us couldn't afford to have help..... swivel..on that thought...
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I don't know you but I do know you were quick to judge the Hackman's situation. I called you out on your comment because you were judging too harshly. So, if you were in Betsy's situation, I would think you would have some more sympathy.

Yes of course, there are probably millions of people caring for their spouses at home with dementia. But how many have 8700 square feet to take care of as well.

I'm sorry if you had to take care of a husband or family member with dementia, but as usual, you had to make this about you. Swivel on that thought for awhile will you:(
 
UpstateGal said:
I don't know you but I do know you were quick to judge the Hackman's situation. I called you out on your comment because you were judging too harshly. So, if you were in Betsy's situation, I would think you would have some more sympathy.

Yes of course, there are probably millions of people caring for their spouses at home with dementia. But how many have 8700 square feet to take care of as well.

I'm sorry if you had to take care of a husband or family member with dementia, but as usual, you had to make this about you. Swivel on that thought for awhile will you:(
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no YOU made it about me ..... presuming I had never had to deal with the same situation....... YOU!!

I can't be bothered with you.. You would have an argument in an empty room.... and then blame other people....
 
hollydolly said:
no YOU made it about me ..... presuming I had never had to deal with the same situation....... YOU!!

I can't be bothered with you.. You would have an argument in an empty room.... and then blame other people....
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Like I said, if you were in the same situation then maybe instead of you being so judgmental, you would have been more sympathetic :( .

There is an IGNORE button, I won't loose sleep over you using it to block my posts.

You are too much of a snob for me to be bothered with you either.
 
they are both dead - is it still time to be critical or have some sympathy - it's an example of how old age and illness can affect us all despite how much money we may have. may they now rest in peace?
 

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