Pride Month... My Journey to Pride

Reading your OP, I felt some pangs, because I know my son went through some of the exact same things, at the exact same times in his life.

I knew he was gay before he did, if that makes any sense.

At around 15 or so, (after practicing how to say it a million times to myself), I just asked him "Are you gay? Because if you are, it doesn't change a single thing about how I feel about you, or how I see you. You're my son, and I've loved you from the day you were born, and you being gay won't change that."

Funny thing is, after worrying and fretting and practicing that speech for weeks, so he would know he's safe and loved, he just shrugged and said "I dunno." LOL.

Of course he knew. He just wasn't ready to say it out loud, I guess. I don't know that he ever came right out and said "I'm gay" at any point. At least I don't remember it.

That was 15 years ago, and next week will be his first wedding anniversary. He's a well spoken, extremely intelligent, thoughtful and compassionate young man.

On a side note, about 5 or 6 years later, my daughter, (his twin sister) also came out. It was kind of comical. She was in college, and had been seeing someone named Cori for about two months.

Dad...
Yea?
There's something I need to tell you about Cori...
You better not be pregnant!! I swear, if you are, you're still going to school!!
Dad...
I mean it!! You're getting your degree if you have to backpack that kid around campus!!
Dad...Cori's a girl.
....Oh.... That's it? That's the big thing you had to tell me?
 

I don't get it, I'm a straight guy who grew up in the 60s and 70s and always had gay friends and family. It really wasn't a big deal till the last few years. Either I wasn't paying attention or society has become worse. We just treated people as humans with the respect we all deserve.
 

Eupher said:
Bingo. I just don't care about someone's sexuality -- whether straight or gay or any of the other "things" that seem to appeal to a very minute percentage of the population, but also seem to garner a lot of attention. Keep your sexuality to yourself, I say, and stop dancing in the streets about it.
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Obviously, you care. If you didn't, you wouldn't bother commenting.

You've made abundantly clear, through two comments in this thread, how you feel about the topic. By putting 'things' in parenthesis, you're speaking volumes about how you feel, while at the same time dehumanizing and entire population of people.

If people dancing in the streets, celebrating who they are, bothers you to the point that you want them to stop and keep it to themselves, that's a 'you' problem.

(Sorry, @seadoug, for disrupting your thread. )
 
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I just recently found out that one of my best friends from Junior High, all the way through college was gay. I never knew or suspected. I just figured he was like me. Too shy and terrified of rejection to approach any of the girls I liked. After college we went our separate ways and lost touch. A few years ago I looked him up on the internet and found that he had recently passed away.

I looked up another mutual friend that we both had who had kept in touch with him and that's how I found out that he had come out as gay later in like. I wonder how I would have reacted had I known back in the day. But those were different times. Back in High school if someone had asked me if we had any gay kids In school I would haved said no. I'm sure there must have been since we had 1200 students, but they wouldn't come out.
 
Oldeagle66 said:
I don't get it, I'm a straight guy who grew up in the 60s and 70s and always had gay friends and family. It really wasn't a big deal till the last few years. Either I wasn't paying attention or society has become worse. We just treated people as humans with the respect we all deserve.
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I grew up in the 50's and 60's in Florida and nobody was out that I know of.
 
I would like to be able to say I'm not, but I guess I'm somewhat homophobic. If I'm watching a movie and there's a scene with two dudes making out I have to fast forward it, or at least turn away till it's over. On the other hand if it's two chicks making out that's a whole differnt thing. That's a major turn on. Does that make me a bad guy?
 
Trade said:
If I'm watching a movie and there's a scene with two dudes making out I have to fast forward it, or at least turn away till it's over.
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I do this with any scene like this, regardless of the genders involved. LOL. 99% of the time, it's just gratuitous and doesn't add anything to the story being told.

It's what the fast forward button was invented for.
 
Spending all your time appearing to be one thing during your youth to please others, you faced some difficult issues during your later metamorphasis but you held true to yourself and emerged as who you always knew you were born to be and now ... you're beautiful & free!
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Many of us would not have had the courage!
 
Eupher said:
You're partially correct. I care enough to call attention to the scourge that homosexuality is, especially when it's (figuratively) shoved down my throat.

Here's the kicker -- I would not have commented on ANY of this had the OP not insisted on braying his sexual orientation. On that basis, I don't care about that just like I don't care about anyone else's orientation. None of my business.

For those who find it necessary to bray about somebody's sexual orientation as a sign of "support", perhaps you need to examine what's important. Who somebody has sex with should not be a public pronouncement.
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Methinks thee doth protest too much. 😉🤭😂
 
Trade said:
I grew up in the 50's and 60's in Florida and nobody was out that I know of
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Trade said:
I would like to be able to say I'm not, but I guess I'm somewhat homophobic. If I'm watching a movie and there's a scene with two dudes making out I have to fast forward it, or at least turn away till it's over. On the other hand if it's two chicks making out that's a whole differnt thing. That's a major turn on. Does that make me a bad guy?
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I find myself doing that with all sex scenes now. They are over the top and unnecessary. Like running away from the bad guy or monster, and stopping to have sex.
 
I'm the 1% with my schizophrenic affliction.

Can't count how many of my daughter's friends just up and left when their parents found out I had schizophrenia during their childhood. @seadoug is in the minority like me. Our make-up doesn't define us, but we still can talk about it from time to time...hopefully without fear of retribution.

I've always found seadoug to be an engaging and thoughtful poster. I would call him 'friend' all day long! :)
 
seadoug said:
I'm devastated.

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Doug, I think more of us care and consider you as a wonderful man. I too, don't like deviance but I don't think you fall in that category. Dare I say you likely roll your eyes at some of the things we see on social media that don't represent your community well.
Keep on keeping' on there Doug. 🤗
 
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seadoug said:
Ignore it if you don't care. This is my journey to pride. Full disclosure.

I was an only child. From a young age I was feminine. My grandmother used to put me in her high heels when I was 3 y/o. I was a chubby, "sissy" kid when I was in elementary school. We moved from NC to FL when I was 8 y/o and I gave up all my friends. The older kids in my new neighborhood used to knock me off my bike and ask me if I was a girl. I went to bed crying every night.

I was determined to lose weight when I went to junior high. I went through puberty, took Dexatrim and starved myself. It worked. I was 135 pounds. I gave a girl a "steady bracelet" in junior high. We went steady for a few days, then one of her friends gave it back to me and said she no longer wanted to go steady because I was a "sissy and a queer". I was devastated and decided I needed to act more masculine. I did everything from giving up certain clothes to walking with a more manly gait.

I then went to a Southern Baptist high school, and since I hated myself for being gay I chose to have a girlfriend for 3 years. I was finally masculine-acting a decent looking. She pursued me until I agreed to date her. I truly loved her and we were intimate, but I knew I preferred men. I continued to date women in college, until I came out at 22 years old. It was a difficult time because I still had low self esteem so establishing a long-term relationship was almost impossible. I had several, but they never worked out. When my mother found out I was gay, she sent me to a psychiatrist who told me I was fine.

I lived through a very homophobic time in the 80's, where my new car was keyed with "queer" on the side and some of my friends died of AIDS. It was a horrible time. I also lived through a couple of abusive relationships. I did have a wonderful partner for 6 years. My parents loved him, but when we broke up my mother said "now you can finally marry a woman".

It wasn't until the early 90's when I was in my early 30s and started to be more comfortable with myself that I met my hubby. There were many years during my career when my co-workers didn't know about him. We have now been together for 34 years. It was when I was resigned to being alone and focusing on myself that we met.

I went through a deep depression in 2006. I went to a therapist who asked me to revisit my "8 year old self". He said I had "buried that boy". I cried uncontrollably when I thought of the sacrifices I had made just to not be my true self.

It has not been an easy journey to self-acceptance but I can now say that I'm happy with who I am and I have pride for what I have accomplished. For me, that is the true meaning of Pride.

Whew! This was cathartic.
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I’m proud of you.
 
First of all I have a lot of respect for you @seadoug to make the decision to talk about your life to a group of strangers. I admire people with courage and if I ever met you in the real world I have a feeling I would instantly like and bond with you because your posts reveal to me a deep and caring person.

Secondly, I hate it when sides are drawn just because someone posts or disagrees with a statement or disclosure made by a poster. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and is free to post it if they so choose to. This doesn’t mean they hate the poster, they are just offering their slant on it. How this became the forum against Eupher is quite baffling to me. Come on, we are all better than this.
 
@seadoug

I am so glad, like so many others on this thread, that you came thru all that and can now be yourself. As someone with 3 marriages that ended badly i am always pleased to find there are long term happy couples, regardless of their orientation.

I was so glad to see the the people who stood up for you. I will never understand why some people feel compelled to come in and make negative comments on threads clearly not of interest to them except for expressing sanctimonious nonsense.
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Today alone i've passed on even reading 2-3 posts too likely to become political and just the titles letting me know i'd dissent from OP's view. I have other places for political discussions.

As for parades shoving things down people's throats-- tho Irish im not fond of St. Patty's Day ones-- he was not the hero people think. Columbus Day annoys me too, not to mention KKK and any kind of Neo-Nazi one.

And don't get me started on a certain religious group who's missionaries knock on my door that cannot take polite requests, one has to get strident with them to make them leave. But they come back repeatedly. Now they are trying to shove something down my throat i will not swallow.
 
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feywon said:
@seadoug

I am so glad, like so many others on this thread, that you came thru all that and can now be yourself. As someone with 3 marriages that ended badly i am always pleased to find there are long term happy couples, regardless of their orientation.

I was so glad to see the the people who stood up for you. I will never understand why some people feel compelled to come in and make negative comments on threads clearly not of interest to them except for expressing sanctimonious nonsense.
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Today alone i've passed on even reading posts too likely to become political and just the titles letting me know i'd dissent from OP's view. I have other places for political discussions.

As for parades shoving things down people's throats-- tho Irish im not fond of St. Patty's Day ones-- he was not the hero people think. Columbus Day annoys me too, not to mention KKK and any kind of Neo-Nazi one.

And don't get me started on a certain religious group who's miisionaries knock on my door that cannot take polite requests, one has to get strident with to make them leave. But they come back repeatedly. Now they are trying to shove something down my throat i will not swallow.
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At last,...finally,...an American who doesn't think St Patrick was the God of the western world.....
 
Eupher said:
You're partially correct. I care enough to call attention to the scourge that homosexuality is, especially when it's (figuratively) shoved down my throat.
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Eupher said:
You're partially correct. I care enough to call attention to the scourge that homosexuality is, especially when it's (figuratively) shoved down my throat.

Here's the kicker -- I would not have commented on ANY of this had the OP not insisted on braying his sexual orientation. On that basis, I don't care about that just like I don't care about anyone else's orientation. None of my business.

For those who find it necessary to bray about somebody's sexual orientation as a sign of "support", perhaps you need to examine what's important. Who somebody has sex with should not be a public pronouncement.
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1957 called and they want their homophobia back.
 
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feywon said:
As for parades shoving things down people's throats-- tho Irish im not fond of St. Patty's Day ones-- he was not the hero people think. Columbus Day annoys me too, not to mention KKK and any kind of Neo-Nazi one.
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Hear, hear! I've got such a list of stuff I feel like's being shoved down our throats and the worship of AI is at the top, sigh.
 

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