hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
I demand to know who's not rating him as a good person... how very dare they....I'll fight them
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Pride Month... My Journey to Pride
- Thread starter seadoug
- Start date
I've kept pretty quiet when it comes to your posts, but I will simply say I wasn't "braying" about my sexuality any more than someone who posts a thread about overcoming addiction is braying about being an alcoholic, someone who has come out of an abusive relationship asked for the abuse or someone who overcame depression chose to have it.
We all share our stories in this forum about our struggles and triumphs. Just because it was connected to Pride doesn't make it sexual. How you feel about my sexuality is of absolutely no concern to me and no hateful comments will provoke me. I have been the only consistently gay man in this forum for years and if I help other people learn about what others go through so be it. I have many friends here who look at me for the person I am and what I contribute... not for my sexual preference.
It is just a shame that you are unable to acknowledge someone else's victories in life without bringing your biases into it. Nothing more to say to you. You have received enough attention. See you in another thread.
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
same thing happens with MS... my eldest brother.. and my ex mother in law both had/have MS... both had lots of instances where people thought they were drunk because of the staggering and occasional slurring of words... the irony being neither one of them drinks alcohol at all.Do you realize what your comment says about YOU?
Yes, I've read posts from people with that problem. One woman said she hangs on to her husband's arm for balance when they walk somewhere. She joked it looks like she's being romantic.
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Alcohol can slow or stop essential tremors for awhile. (Bad solution in the long run.) To slow the shaking of her in hands, a young woman began to drink some wine to "stop" her shaking while attending a party and a (jerk) man seeing this said she wouldn't be shaky if she didn't drink so much. His words were like a hard punch to her gut. sheesh, Heads you win, heads you lose.
MarkD
Keeper of the Hounds & Garden
- Location
- San Francisco Bay Area
He didn't challenge her expectations. Some people hate that.
MarkD
Keeper of the Hounds & Garden
- Location
- San Francisco Bay Area
I'm the 1% with my schizophrenic affliction.
Can't count how many of my daughter's friends just up and left when their parents found out I had schizophrenia during their childhood. @seadoug is in the minority like me. Our make-up doesn't define us, but we still can talk about it from time to time...hopefully without fear of retribution.
I've always found seadoug to be an engaging and thoughtful poster. I would call him 'friend' all day long!
I find that so hard to believe. In my experience people experiencing schizophrenia have no sense of humor and you are a laugh a minute. Is it just that you have it under control?
None of my business of course but I am curious.
Teacher Terry
Well-known Member
Thanks Doug for sharing your sad and powerful story. I remember what it was like back then for people that did come out that they were gay and it often was extremely difficult and they faced discrimination and frequently lost their jobs. It was a horrible time in history and I am so glad that people are more accepted for who they really are now.
@seadoug Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I have nothing but respect for you, have all along. You are a good person, sending you and your hubby love and light. 
I've had quite a few gay friends and coworkers over the years, good friends, I was blessed to have known them. Happy Pride Month, may it continue throughout the years, as it should. 
I've had quite a few gay friends and coworkers over the years, good friends, I was blessed to have known them. Happy Pride Month, may it continue throughout the years, as it should.
MarkD
Keeper of the Hounds & Garden
- Location
- San Francisco Bay Area
I think that is just being honest. You haven't used your discomfort (revulsion?) to slander anyone or treat them without respect. Heck maybe you've just never been around homosexuals?
I'm very relaxed about it now but it didn't start out that way. In the late 60's probably because the equal rights movements for people of color and women disposed me to think about it. It occurred to me that homosexuals too are a suppressed minority and more openly disrespected and mistreated than the other groups in most instances back then. But when I thought about affection or sex between men it really did turn my stomach. So I challenged myself not to just push it away but see it as normal for those who are and not let it threaten me.
Good thing since I moved to the Bay Area and have been here since the end of high school and gay and lesbians are very open and unapologetic here. Because one of my big social outlets is the world of plants and gardens and garden designers and experts are mostly gay men I know quite a few. I'm glad I can like them for who they are and not worry about who they love. There is certainly no discrimination coming my way for being straight.
I have to say one of the things I like about my gay friends -trigger warnings for anyone who can't stand hearing stereotypes- is they are generally more emotionally in touch and articulate. I'd say I'm a little broken in the emotional department and without a lot of therapy I'd never have become sure I had any and that they were important. So being around those not sharing my affliction helps me. I think of myself as articulate too so I naturally like communicating with others who are too.
My mother wanted grand children. She even told me in a conspiritual sort of way that l didn't have to be married to have a baby.
The way l countered that was that if there were children out there wanting to be born, they would find a way.
No, you are allowed to have things you are uncomfortable seeing.
Nothing wrong with that - you are not saying the people are wrong and you recognise it as a you thing not a them thing.
That seems quite reasonable to me.
Or, to do an even more direct comparison - if I were to post about overcoming childhood shyness and teenage angst and a few short went nowhere relationships and then meeting my husband and how my parents coped with someone who had a child from a previous relationship etc, rest of my personal story - nobody would say I was braying about my sexuality or pushing it down their throat or any other silly accusation
But is exactly same thing - a personal story of how I grew and my marriage came to being, except it is story of a straight woman,not a gay man.
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
Elsie I've told you, in the past that I suffered ...still do on occasion with Benign Essential Tremor... it eventually pretty much went away without intervention...just as quickly as it arrived..
To this day I don't know I got it.. but I had it for a few years.. I still get it now and again.. if I've been gripping something tight ...iike a heavy bag... or if someone gets me angry.... my hands don't stop shaking ( PD style).. for a couple of hours, but fortunately that's all that's left of it, and hopefully it never retruns as it once was...
.. however my point is this.. that I even had a doctor suggest that my BET was caused by drinking alcohol.
I kid you not.. he put his hand over mine in a fatherly way and said not to be ashamed, that many people suffer from alcohol issues,
I was stunned !! I'm tee-total always have been
Oooops sorry Seadoug...taken this right off topic.....
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Oh man, holly, what a slap in the face from that ignorant doctor.
Concerning unpleasant experiences gay men have been put through, well, unless you've had essential tremors most of your life, what I say may be doubted. You see, MANY very similar experiences of theirs are what many E Ters are put through, minus stupid hatred. E T experiences can be bad enough to drive the afflicted to suicide. And there have been suicides because those E Ters just couldn't bear living with that misery anymore. And they were NOT mental weaklings at suffering. This can be researched........
Concerning unpleasant experiences gay men have been put through, well, unless you've had essential tremors most of your life, what I say may be doubted. You see, MANY very similar experiences of theirs are what many E Ters are put through, minus stupid hatred. E T experiences can be bad enough to drive the afflicted to suicide. And there have been suicides because those E Ters just couldn't bear living with that misery anymore. And they were NOT mental weaklings at suffering. This can be researched........
feywon
Well-known Member
- Location
- Rural North Central NM
@hollydolly said: Oooos sorry Seadoug...taken this right off topic.....
@seadoug said: "We all share our stories in this forum about our struggles and triumphs"
Consider this, seadoug's talking about his journey to accepting who he is and the ways in which other people's misperceptions and preconceptions can make full acceptance of oneself more difficult especially when young, touched on the difficulties some of us have experienced regarding realities about ourselves that we we didn't specifically choose: S*xual orientation, physical and mental health issues.
The way he wrote about it and the mostly positive, supportive and caring responses opened the door for a broader discussion of the damage making assumptions based on misconceptions, and prejudices can do. So, maybe not so off-topic.
@seadoug said: "We all share our stories in this forum about our struggles and triumphs"
Consider this, seadoug's talking about his journey to accepting who he is and the ways in which other people's misperceptions and preconceptions can make full acceptance of oneself more difficult especially when young, touched on the difficulties some of us have experienced regarding realities about ourselves that we we didn't specifically choose: S*xual orientation, physical and mental health issues.
The way he wrote about it and the mostly positive, supportive and caring responses opened the door for a broader discussion of the damage making assumptions based on misconceptions, and prejudices can do. So, maybe not so off-topic.
Dave03
Member
- Location
- Dunder Mifflin, Scranton Branch
feywon
Well-known Member
- Location
- Rural North Central NM
This was a beautifully written response. The first two parts i made bold demonstrate why the third part i made bold is a truth i hope you never forget. You are one of the reasons i keep coming back despite sometimes extended breaks.
MACKTEXAS
Senior Member
Thanks for sharing your picture of you and your mother, and for telling us more about her and your relationship. I did wonder, since your first post didn't say how it all turned out.
You looked after her, you were good to her - that's all you can do, and more than many would have done. If she couldn't understand, that's not your burden to bear. I believe she loved you, and you loved her. These are the things that matter.
MACKTEXAS
Senior Member
Yes. We do not, or should not bear children to try to please someone else.
feywon
Well-known Member
- Location
- Rural North Central NM
@seadoug sharing what you know of your mother's struggles with your acceptance of yourself, reminded me of mother's struggles with her conditioned racism. She was of that generation where women often adjusted their opinions to be more in line their spouses (or sometimes just people they were dating).
My Dad was adamantly anti-prejudice of all kinds so she didn't limit her search for a church (no Catholic parishes close to us) to the white ones nearby. i suspect she benefited from and appreciated the warm reception she and i got at Black Churches. (Dad agnostic older sisters given a choice). But after their divorce her opinions shifted with her underlying concern in the turbulent 60s being my safety considering my very visibly diverse group of friends and dates.
Thing is when she talked to any of them in person or on the phone she reverted to her natural open heart 'Mom' mode had real conversations and grew to understand my choices in friends tho she did relate to some more than others.
My Dad was adamantly anti-prejudice of all kinds so she didn't limit her search for a church (no Catholic parishes close to us) to the white ones nearby. i suspect she benefited from and appreciated the warm reception she and i got at Black Churches. (Dad agnostic older sisters given a choice). But after their divorce her opinions shifted with her underlying concern in the turbulent 60s being my safety considering my very visibly diverse group of friends and dates.
Thing is when she talked to any of them in person or on the phone she reverted to her natural open heart 'Mom' mode had real conversations and grew to understand my choices in friends tho she did relate to some more than others.
Knight
Well-known Member
If not for the interpretation of bible verses the grief thousands possibly millions experienced during their life time would not be happening. A man that IMO had no respect for fellow humans was responsible for the misery created.
I Googled did God or Jesus condemn homosexuals.
The response
No explicit mention:
The New Testament, including the Gospels where Jesus's teachings are recorded, does not contain any direct statements by Jesus addressing homosexuality.
Focus on marriage and divorce:
Jesus does discuss marriage and divorce, particularly in the context of heterosexual relationships, referencing the creation story in Genesis to support his teachings on the sanctity of marriage.
Interpreted passages:
Certain passages in the Old Testament (Hebrew Bible) are interpreted by some to condemn same-sex sexual acts, but these are not teachings attributed to Jesus himself.
Context of Jesus's teachings:
Jesus's teachings often emphasized love, compassion, and forgiveness, which some interpret as relevant to LGBTQ+ individuals and relationships.
Diverse interpretations:
Different Christian denominations and individuals hold varying interpretations of biblical texts related to sexuality, with some affirming LGBTQ+ relationships and others not.
Traditional View:
Christian tradition has consistently maintained that Jesus was celibate and unmarried. Why?
Try to imagine how different life would be if those verses were never in the bible.
I Googled did God or Jesus condemn homosexuals.
The response
No explicit mention:
The New Testament, including the Gospels where Jesus's teachings are recorded, does not contain any direct statements by Jesus addressing homosexuality.
Focus on marriage and divorce:
Jesus does discuss marriage and divorce, particularly in the context of heterosexual relationships, referencing the creation story in Genesis to support his teachings on the sanctity of marriage.
Interpreted passages:
Certain passages in the Old Testament (Hebrew Bible) are interpreted by some to condemn same-sex sexual acts, but these are not teachings attributed to Jesus himself.
Context of Jesus's teachings:
Jesus's teachings often emphasized love, compassion, and forgiveness, which some interpret as relevant to LGBTQ+ individuals and relationships.
Diverse interpretations:
Different Christian denominations and individuals hold varying interpretations of biblical texts related to sexuality, with some affirming LGBTQ+ relationships and others not.
Traditional View:
Christian tradition has consistently maintained that Jesus was celibate and unmarried. Why?
Try to imagine how different life would be if those verses were never in the bible.
Beezer
Senior Member
Yes. I get injections of Abilify every month...for the last 20 years.
And I think I do overcompensate with humor, but that's just in my DNA. I remember every funny thing that's happened to and around me since I was a little boy. Some are good with math...others geography...etc. I just have this knack for being silly on most occasions.
And cheers to seadoug again! This has been, for the most part a positive and uplifting thread!
feywon
Well-known Member
- Location
- Rural North Central NM
Yes. I get injections of Abilify every month...for the last 20 years.
And I think I do overcompensate with humor, but that's just in my DNA. I remember every funny thing that's happened to and around me since I was a little boy. Some are good with math...others geography...etc. I just have this knack for being silly on most occasions.
And cheers to seadoug again! This has been, for the most part a positive and uplifting thread!
One of my sisters was diagnosed with Schizophrenia while in the Navy and in her early 20's. She was on various meds the rest of her life cause she'd build up a tolerance and become symptomatic. Tho some decades before her death they reduced her disability status to 50% By which time she had married she met as an in patient, after they were both released and had a daughter. i think i've mentioned somewhere on SF that her sense of humor was good--when her disability reduced she called the other 3 of us gleefully asking 'How many people can claim certification from the US Government that they are 50% sane?'