feywon
Well-known Member
- Location
- Rural North Central NM
Tho i don't plan on journaling a lot here. i thought that an appropriate title since it is a part of my daily meditations.
A while back there was another NDE Thread. i searched and searched and could not find the thread i know i posted a brief description of mine on. So i told someone i would put it here so whenever the topic comes up i can either direct interested parties here or copy and paste it to the thread.
First some disclaimers:
1) There are details about the why/how of my demise i consider personal and will not be sharing, even tho as i understand it this forum-Diaries-is an supposed to be a 'safe place' where we can share and others may respond but are supposed to keep any negativity, judgement to themselves.
2) This is not a linear account, it was not a linear experience. The only piece of it i am sure of is the last exchange was with what i can only call 'guides' before i returned from ethereal to material life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Darkness, conscious awareness but no physical sensations. neither good or ill tho moments before i had been in a LOT of discomfort. i realized i'd left my body, and i thought 'No tunnel of light? No welcoming--ah but at 28 virtually no loved ones have predeceased me.'
Time is different there, and 'space'. Floating in the dark, i saw sphere of light. No sooner thought of wanting a closer look than i 'rapidly' (almost instantly) moved close enough to see it wasn't a solid sphere but rather a huge (? nothing to provide reference point for size--not even my own body--i had tried to hold up a hand/arm but apparently could not conjure one up even thinking of it.)
As i got closer i could see it was comprised of billions? trillions of points of light, all colors of the spectrum---that blended to make white light. Somehow i knew the points of light entering and leaving were souls coming and going. (Tho have to admit what i was seeing may have been influenced by my beliefs just as those who say they experienced heaven or hell in their NDE may have influenced their perception of whatever was going on.
At one point there were 3 imposing figures at table before me. i asked if they were a Tribunal. They laughed., one said--you'll need to judge yourself, and then decide if you truly want to terminate your current life or if you want to go back to it. i am not going into the details of that review--it included remembering the goals i'd set coming into this life, progress i'd made and ways i'd failed. i thought of the Light, i wanted to go into it, because the unconditional love was overwhelming.
i saw two young (maybe 2 and 3 yrs old?) boys dressed in PJs Christmas tree behind them. The slightly bigger one, whom i assumed was older, said to me. "Please go back, we are going to need you." [Sidebar: This seemed odd, irrelevant until my twins were born a year later. But i was too busy to give it much thought until 3 1/2 yrs later i got a photo of them back from developer.
It was the Christmas after my estranged husband, their father was murdered. The 'smaller' one was only 5 oz less at birth caught up fast until the separation he lost weight. By the following summer he'd caught up with his 9 minutes older brother again.] That photo--you guessed it, the two boys i saw in my NDE. Boy did that mess with my head--premonition during NDE? Or something arranged by the 'guides'? Clearly linear time a thing of this material world.
One of the guides was asking me if i'd decided, that i needed to decide very soon. They said i could rest awhile then return to different physical incarnation. The two biggest factors--the thought of those boys and feeling too tired to even consider starting from scratch again--setting goals, acquiring language; and trying to learn what i needed---again! Just then i became aware of body back on floor on earth, as it was jolted by revival attempts. The guide said--choose while you can.
i chose to come back just as another jolt hit me, to this day i don't know if i was experiencing manual resuscitation as a blow or if they used a defib, because once in my body again i was too disoriented to attend details. i do remember trying to tell them to stop, that it wasn't necessary, because i'd chosen...but suspect it sounded like gibberish to them.
This "I" and her life did not change overnight. But the NDE definitely shifted my focus, because i had different 'constructs to work with in relation to temporary physical life and eternal conscious life. i had been trying to learn meditation from books. But in 1979 i took the Silva Method Course and that was a tremendous help. i still use it as my basic practice, tho it's morphed a bit over the years. But then i once looked up some current Silva Videos on YouTube and they've changed some too.
A while back there was another NDE Thread. i searched and searched and could not find the thread i know i posted a brief description of mine on. So i told someone i would put it here so whenever the topic comes up i can either direct interested parties here or copy and paste it to the thread.
First some disclaimers:
1) There are details about the why/how of my demise i consider personal and will not be sharing, even tho as i understand it this forum-Diaries-is an supposed to be a 'safe place' where we can share and others may respond but are supposed to keep any negativity, judgement to themselves.
2) This is not a linear account, it was not a linear experience. The only piece of it i am sure of is the last exchange was with what i can only call 'guides' before i returned from ethereal to material life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Darkness, conscious awareness but no physical sensations. neither good or ill tho moments before i had been in a LOT of discomfort. i realized i'd left my body, and i thought 'No tunnel of light? No welcoming--ah but at 28 virtually no loved ones have predeceased me.'
Time is different there, and 'space'. Floating in the dark, i saw sphere of light. No sooner thought of wanting a closer look than i 'rapidly' (almost instantly) moved close enough to see it wasn't a solid sphere but rather a huge (? nothing to provide reference point for size--not even my own body--i had tried to hold up a hand/arm but apparently could not conjure one up even thinking of it.)
As i got closer i could see it was comprised of billions? trillions of points of light, all colors of the spectrum---that blended to make white light. Somehow i knew the points of light entering and leaving were souls coming and going. (Tho have to admit what i was seeing may have been influenced by my beliefs just as those who say they experienced heaven or hell in their NDE may have influenced their perception of whatever was going on.
At one point there were 3 imposing figures at table before me. i asked if they were a Tribunal. They laughed., one said--you'll need to judge yourself, and then decide if you truly want to terminate your current life or if you want to go back to it. i am not going into the details of that review--it included remembering the goals i'd set coming into this life, progress i'd made and ways i'd failed. i thought of the Light, i wanted to go into it, because the unconditional love was overwhelming.
i saw two young (maybe 2 and 3 yrs old?) boys dressed in PJs Christmas tree behind them. The slightly bigger one, whom i assumed was older, said to me. "Please go back, we are going to need you." [Sidebar: This seemed odd, irrelevant until my twins were born a year later. But i was too busy to give it much thought until 3 1/2 yrs later i got a photo of them back from developer.
It was the Christmas after my estranged husband, their father was murdered. The 'smaller' one was only 5 oz less at birth caught up fast until the separation he lost weight. By the following summer he'd caught up with his 9 minutes older brother again.] That photo--you guessed it, the two boys i saw in my NDE. Boy did that mess with my head--premonition during NDE? Or something arranged by the 'guides'? Clearly linear time a thing of this material world.
One of the guides was asking me if i'd decided, that i needed to decide very soon. They said i could rest awhile then return to different physical incarnation. The two biggest factors--the thought of those boys and feeling too tired to even consider starting from scratch again--setting goals, acquiring language; and trying to learn what i needed---again! Just then i became aware of body back on floor on earth, as it was jolted by revival attempts. The guide said--choose while you can.
i chose to come back just as another jolt hit me, to this day i don't know if i was experiencing manual resuscitation as a blow or if they used a defib, because once in my body again i was too disoriented to attend details. i do remember trying to tell them to stop, that it wasn't necessary, because i'd chosen...but suspect it sounded like gibberish to them.
This "I" and her life did not change overnight. But the NDE definitely shifted my focus, because i had different 'constructs to work with in relation to temporary physical life and eternal conscious life. i had been trying to learn meditation from books. But in 1979 i took the Silva Method Course and that was a tremendous help. i still use it as my basic practice, tho it's morphed a bit over the years. But then i once looked up some current Silva Videos on YouTube and they've changed some too.
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