Do you think ex's can be just friends?

EmptyCup said:
That language went away with no-fault divorce (which I am fine with).
It’s now mostly used in the context of religion. Someone correct me if I am wrong. Not a lawyer…obviously.
Click to expand...
Weird.
 

My third husband definitely had a sex addiction and he would cheat with just about anybody. Of course I didn’t know this when I lived with him for six years or I wouldn’t have married him. Lying and cheating go hand and hand unfortunately.

With time I have perspective about the whole situation and I guess that’s why I have no problem being nice to him when I see him at my stepson‘s house or when he calls me for advice.
 
stephenPE said:
We certainly need more love today. The unconditional kind where we leave the judgement behind. The one thing I have learned in 70 years is if you love people they almost always love you back. It may not be how you want it but we all have learned to show love in different ways....Sometimes accepting love is as hard as giving it.
Click to expand...
Except with a life-partner, right? I mean, there has to be conditions in a marriage.

Come to think of it; even in a friendship. I love my buddy Joe, but I'd hate him in a New York minute if he stole my credit cards or something.

Just my opinion, but loving people unconditionally isn't wise. It isn't good for you, and it isn't good for them. And you have to use some judgement so you can tell if the person you love is the kind of person who takes advantage of people's love.
 

Murrmurr said:
Is that so we can keep saying "unconditional love" and sound okay?

I think only mothers can love unconditionally. Ted Bundy's mom kept telling him she loved him during their prison phone calls.
Click to expand...
Where does one draw the line between a transactional relationship an unconditional one? I don’t know. Someone smarter than me will have to answer that one.
 
Murrmurr said:
Except with a life-partner, right? I mean, there has to be conditions in a marriage.

Come to think of it; even in a friendship. I love my buddy Joe, but I'd hate him in a New York minute if he stole my credit cards or something.

Just my opinion, but loving people unconditionally isn't wise. It isn't good for you, and it isn't good for them. And you have to use some judgement so you can tell if the person you love is the kind of person who takes advantage of people's love.
Click to expand...
I see unconditional love as one where if I do something for someone it is not with expectations of "now you owe me something" Love is giving because you care. I have four children. I will love them forever. They may not do all the things I think the should but it is their life and they have to learn. Do I give them guidance and support? All the time. My son is doing standup comedy. Do I think he will make a living at it? Probably not but it is his love and passion. I will say this. My first wife taught me how to forgive and it made my life much better.

I keep reading about my FB friends and many feel violated or betrayed badly by a loved one or friend. I can say that honestly that is the rarest event in my life. Lucky maybe. I am older now so many close friends are dying or dead. But I had a great circle of friends in my life. And some good women. I spent a lifetime encouraging children to realize their potential. Feedback from many of them as adults has been good. (love FB) I think that carried over into friendships and relationships. There is nothing like celebrating another person's or child's success. It's like watching them open a present they really want.
 
My son has this incredible ability to stay friends with all of his ex's. None were wives, however, so no residual resentment from bad divorces. As far as my ex's, they are either dead or I don't see them anymore.
 
Only just now reading the replies and posts. I've been away since I posted this topic.
Good replies.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top