Does anyone here have an Autistic child?

Paulina

Paulina

Member
Location
S.F. Bay Area
I absolutely love my son to death, and I may go to hell for saying this, but he in turn is putting us to our death. 2 times now he's been in a so-called 24/7 alert living facility meaning someone is to watch him 24/7. The first one didn't watch him, he escaped, ran up to a freeway onramp and got hit and run by a car leaving him on the side pavement. A good citizen called the police, and he was recovered and immediately transferred to a hospital.

10-1/2 months in the hospital later he was transferred to a rehabilitation center 500 miles away from us. He had to spend almost a year there. We finally got him home and he was transferred to an assisted living facility. 24/7 watch if you will. Just last evening he escaped his trusted facility and was found by the local police on once again, a super busy highway. I can't thank God enough he wasn't hit by a car this time. Is anyone else going through this? Are we alone with such scary experiences? Please share, will you?

Should this incident happen again? I truly feel I'm going to drop dead as I'm so tired of holding my breath. These instances are truly killing me as his mom. I'm so, so very tired. If anything, thanks for the read.
 

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May i ask how old he is, when diagnosed, what level he functions at and at what age did you first put him in a facility? Because every family's journey with neurodivergence is different. Diagnosis and treatment has changed greatly in our lifetimes.

The spectrum of neurodivergence is so broad, from people who are non-verbal and unable to interact with the world to people like my now 16 1/2 yr old grandson Liam, who lost his beginning verbal skills at 2 leading to diagnosis, and regained them thanks to therapy. He is now a straight A student who has friends. While he stims a good deal, every year he can more effectively carry on conversations, interesting ones.

I just saw this thread this morning because Liam and his Dad, my son, were just here for their annual week long visit and yesterday morning i had a medical appointment, then had to take them to airport 1 1/2 hrs away. Since in city my daughter and i did a little shopping and weren't home till dark, exhausted.

While our family's experience with neurodivergence is a pretty positive i know enough about it to be empathetic with those whose experience has been different and sounds like you need to talk about it.
 
Geeze…my finger slipped and it posted. Oh well…as I was starting to say…
We have no control over who and how we love. Parent child bonds can be incredibly intense. It is impossible to separate the feelings of angst and reason. My child has mental health issues. Undiagnosed and untreated he is a pretty lucky danger to himself if out in the real world. I lay awake and am sick when he is not under my roof. I can only imagine what you feel…I know it is a terrible and intense thing. I can only sympathize and wish you peace. Hugs and best wishes.
 
My son was diagnosed as "learning disabled" as a child and always in special ed is school. He looks perfectly normal so that is how people think of him. But they think he acts strange or is on drugs. He is not diagnosed as mentally ill but I know he is. He talks to ghosts all day long. I try to have a normal conversation with him and it always goes back to what the ghosts told him. He lives in the same building as I do but upstairs. So I see him numerous times throughout the day. I am thankful to have him where I can watch over him.

I am his "payee rep" so I take care of all his bills and give him money through out the month. If I didn't do that he would spend it the first day he got it on junk food and decorations. Before he moved upstairs I was a wreck always worried about him. Especially when he turned off his phone or broke it. Now I am a wreck worrying about what will happen to him if I die. He has nobody but me.

I can understand how you feel. The worry about our children can take a toll on our health. Hard to hear people with normal children tell us not to let them stress us out. I am still stressed but not as bad as before he moved here. Now I am worried he will break some rule and get evicted from here and be homeless. You are definitely not alone. Sending you hugs and prayers for better days.
 
Muskrat said:
Geeze…my finger slipped and it posted. Oh well…as I was starting to say…
We have no control over who and how we love. Parent child bonds can be incredibly intense. It is impossible to separate the feelings of angst and reason. My child has mental health issues. Undiagnosed and untreated he is a pretty lucky danger to himself if out in the real world. I lay awake and am sick when he is not under my roof. I can only imagine what you feel…I know it is a terrible and intense thing. I can only sympathize and wish you peace. Hugs and best wishes.
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Even if the loved one with MH issues has been diagnosed it and being treated it can be difficult. One of my older sisters was diagnosed as schizophrenic when i was 13. She was in the Navy at the time. While she eventually was a VA outpatient on ever changing drug treatments (because she'd develop a tolerance and they'd be less effective), worked part time for some years, married & had a daughter there were always concerns for her and her family.

One of the most heart wrenching things was the time i called her and her 5-6 year old DD tells me "Mommy can't come to the phone, she needs a med change and can't talk to anyone right now. No child should have to deal with that. I was not surprised when my niece developed a bizarre form of bulimia in her teens. Instead of hiding it, she would vomit into containers and leave them around for her parents to find.

Another sister, who has a masters in Psychology, offered to take Kim for the summer, thinking she could 'fix' her, but that sister has her own undiagnosed MH issues and could not even recognize what a huge cry for help the girl's actions were.

My niece was & is smart, kind & loving. She was very patient, fun and helpful with her younger cousins the summer she lived near us. I don't know the specifics but she did get professional help eventually. She cared for both parents in their old age, and is a Mom herself of grown children now, who seem quite caring and kind people.
 
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katlupe said:
My son was diagnosed as "learning disabled" as a child and always in special ed is school. He looks perfectly normal so that is how people think of him. But they think he acts strange or is on drugs. He is not diagnosed as mentally ill but I know he is. He talks to ghosts all day long. I try to have a normal conversation with him and it always goes back to what the ghosts told him. He lives in the same building as I do but upstairs. So I see him numerous times throughout the day. I am thankful to have him where I can watch over him.

I am his "payee rep" so I take care of all his bills and give him money through out the month. If I didn't do that he would spend it the first day he got it on junk food and decorations. Before he moved upstairs I was a wreck always worried about him. Especially when he turned off his phone or broke it. Now I am a wreck worrying about what will happen to him if I die. He has nobody but me.

I can understand how you feel. The worry about our children can take a toll on our health. Hard to hear people with normal children tell us not to let them stress us out. I am still stressed but not as bad as before he moved here. Now I am worried he will break some rule and get evicted from here and be homeless. You are definitely not alone. Sending you hugs and prayers for better days.
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My sons, twins, were diagnosed as having hand-eye motor coordination problems in 1st or 2nd grade. But when a family history was being done to qualify grandson for therapy the person told his Dad that he was likely high functioning autistic as well. Considering their similar behaviors and thought processes very likely my other son is also. Like many Boomers and GenXers neurodivergence wasn't even considered when they were young.

The only thing we can figure is the fact they hadn't lost verbal skills which was one of the main indicators at the time. But since they both seem to be coping with adult life as well as the average neurotypical person (unmarried son did 20 years in the Navy), neither feels the need to be officially diagnosed.

I can understand that because in the last decade i've begun to realize the more i learn, that i may be an undiagnosed Boomer. But what would be the point now? I've never been fond of labels, and i see no need.
 
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My cousin's daughter had been a highly-loquatious toddler, stopped talking at 3. They took her from doctor to doctor. They all said NOT AUTISTIC but they couldn't say why she stopped talking.

At about four, she started talking again and had normal development after that.

Her older sister was diagnosed high functioning autistic in her early teens. She's in college now.
 
Pepper said:
My best friend's 37 year old son is schizophrenic and, when not in a living facility, street drugged. He hears and speaks to his "voices"

@katlupe/ @Muskrat , aren't your sons schizophrenic? They talk to the "voices."
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Yes, I believe so. Not diagnosed by a doctor (he will not go to one). His voices are the ghosts of my parents and some others he has known.
 
I have a GD who has Asperger's -on the spectrum of autism . She is 19 and and very smart, but has very low social skills. As a child she and her mother lived with us total Hell! However she has changed and grown into a functioning person. She hopes to get into a college and become a lawyer. She was also molested badly at an early age and this is did complicate her life.
So there is hope, but it is hard on parents, especially single ones trying to do it on their own. Her Medicaid and SSI have recently stopped -um by the state. So now her mom still struggles with expenses and always will it seems.
 

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