That's what I thought.
Would you pay to attend a wedding?
- Thread starter MACKTEXAS
- Start date
jujube
SF VIP
I remember reading something last year in either Reddit or CityData (or who knows where.....my short AND long-term memory is rapidly receding in my rear-view mirror) about a couple who was getting married and for different levels of "contribution" was offering various "privileges", depending on your proclivities.
The "premiums" ranged from a lipstick kiss from the bride on the thank-you note, through a personal item of the bride's lingerie, to "cuddling sessions" with the bride or groom or both, to actually going on the honeymoon with them and, I assume, engaging in some activity that went beyond "cuddling". Nothing says "sanctity of marriage" quite like a little prostitution.
Now, there's probably a 90% chance that this is apocryphal, but with things the way they are today, it could be true..... I wouldn't want to bet the mortgage money on it being false.
The "premiums" ranged from a lipstick kiss from the bride on the thank-you note, through a personal item of the bride's lingerie, to "cuddling sessions" with the bride or groom or both, to actually going on the honeymoon with them and, I assume, engaging in some activity that went beyond "cuddling". Nothing says "sanctity of marriage" quite like a little prostitution.
Now, there's probably a 90% chance that this is apocryphal, but with things the way they are today, it could be true..... I wouldn't want to bet the mortgage money on it being false.
Lewkat
Senior Member
- Location
- New Jersey, USA
Not if I am told how much, but as a gift also, yes.
Paulina
Member
- Location
- S.F. Bay Area
You know? Since we had we worked our butts off jobs, his family thought we were rich as there was a never dual parent or sibling with joint or individual career(s). We'd have to go to a 16-person (so called family) pizza place and sure enough the total bill was handed to us. We paid it and man, that was expensive.
After that happened the first time, we'd go down south to visit again and of course the family would say: "Let's go out for a pizza dinner". The bill was once again handed to me personally. I spoke clearly saying well we owe this much toward the bill and passed it down to the next family member to pay their part. Everyone was in just God-awful disbelief as we didn't pay the whole bill again. Bummer huh?
Whats the deal with the ticket? I usually put a check in a card and put the card in a fancy duded up box.
I wrap top and bottom separate so its reuseable. Thats so they have something to open and the card doesnt get lost.
Also its rude to gift shame by showcasing who gave what. It shouldnt be a competition.
Aunt Mabel gave $200. I cant believe you only gave $100.
Just say your house is furnished and you prefer money instead of gifts. JMO. Buying gifts for people you dont know well is a PITA.
I wrap top and bottom separate so its reuseable. Thats so they have something to open and the card doesnt get lost.
Also its rude to gift shame by showcasing who gave what. It shouldnt be a competition.
Aunt Mabel gave $200. I cant believe you only gave $100.
Just say your house is furnished and you prefer money instead of gifts. JMO. Buying gifts for people you dont know well is a PITA.
Paulina
Member
- Location
- S.F. Bay Area
What is PITA?
Pain in the azz.
No, no, no. I'm so old fashioned I'm still a little shocked at the "registry" at the stores.
Aren't we supposed to pretend we don't want gifts? "Just come to the party! Your presence is gift enough!"
How I think it should be: If the couple gets married in the church all and sundry are welcome in any church. Or. They get married somewhere else like their parent's back yard.
The invitations should include the spouse and everyone who is invited to the wedding should also be invited to the reception.
The reception is a party for them thrown by the bride's parents. It should be something they can easily afford, with a buffet and some music.
The invitations should say nothing about money or gifts at all.
Guests should give cash or toasters as the spirit moves them.
Thank you cards should be in the mail within three weeks.
Aren't we supposed to pretend we don't want gifts? "Just come to the party! Your presence is gift enough!"
How I think it should be: If the couple gets married in the church all and sundry are welcome in any church. Or. They get married somewhere else like their parent's back yard.
The invitations should include the spouse and everyone who is invited to the wedding should also be invited to the reception.
The reception is a party for them thrown by the bride's parents. It should be something they can easily afford, with a buffet and some music.
The invitations should say nothing about money or gifts at all.
Guests should give cash or toasters as the spirit moves them.
Thank you cards should be in the mail within three weeks.
Timewise 60+
Senior Member
Only my own, we helped the bride's parents with the costs! And it cost a bundle...but so far it has lasted over 55 years...
fuzzybuddy
SF VIP
- Location
- The Sticks, Northeast PA.
Be honest, when the love smitten couple are up at the altar, professing their undying love, are you wondering how long this marriage will really last?
Yes. But then, I'm a cynic. I'd prefer to be an idealist; it's a happier mindset.
Store registries seem to have had their day here
I'm not a fan of pretence - I'm quite OK with wordings saying they prefer cash or there will be a wishing well at the reception or something like that. It is still optional and how much you give is up to you. And people can still give actual gifts.
taliovelez
NYP to WUS
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I don't really call it pretence not to ask for gifts, I just call it good manners. Just as you might thank your hostess for a lovely dinner even if you thought it wasn't terribly good.
When you specify how you want your gift, whether in the form of cash or crystal, you're clearly indicating that you expect a gift. I didn't ask for gifts of any type when I got married and if no one had brought gifts I wouldn't have minded. Everyone was provided with a nice dinner and drinks and I certainly didn't expect anyone to cover the cost of the meal in some form or other. I invited them. The party was on me it wasn't a business deal.
Would you invite people to your house for dinner and then say, "I prefer you bring wine rather than flowers?"
jujube
SF VIP
The daughter of a cousin of mine specified cash only. No checks or gift cards. And especially no actual presents.
Apparently, they had no money for a honeymoon so they needed cash gifts IMMEDIATELY.
I remember another one I was invited to that was on a Caribbean island at a resort that had rooms starting at $385 a night, 3-night minimum. No other hotels around. Plus airfare, of course.
Here's the good part....the bride was an at-home travel agent and you were supposed to book everything through her. Of course, she was getting a kick-back on everything.
They listed a "gift" registry but it was all things you could pay for them to do/get at the resort....massages, trips, special booze, etc.
I didn't actually know this women all that well. I'm assuming she send invitations to everyone she had ever met. I declined, of course and didn't even send a card. I heard later that she was very disappointed with the turnout.
Apparently, they had no money for a honeymoon so they needed cash gifts IMMEDIATELY.
I remember another one I was invited to that was on a Caribbean island at a resort that had rooms starting at $385 a night, 3-night minimum. No other hotels around. Plus airfare, of course.
Here's the good part....the bride was an at-home travel agent and you were supposed to book everything through her. Of course, she was getting a kick-back on everything.
They listed a "gift" registry but it was all things you could pay for them to do/get at the resort....massages, trips, special booze, etc.
I didn't actually know this women all that well. I'm assuming she send invitations to everyone she had ever met. I declined, of course and didn't even send a card. I heard later that she was very disappointed with the turnout.
You said " aren't we suppossed to pretend........" So then,yes,I would call it a pretence.
Invites I have seen say something like " there will be a wishing well at the reception" or " if you would like to give a gift, we would appreciate cash" which to me are perfectly good manners and not demanding anyone do so.
But also not doing a silly pretence that you don't expect anybody to bring a gift.
and yes if I invite people to dinner I might say something like " could you bring a bottle of wine"