Last night, I had a moment of clarity.

squatting dog

squatting dog

We don't have as far to go, as we've already been
Location
Arkansas, and also Florida
I can finally say, that after 50+ years, I've gone "through the window". For those who don't know, this was the moment in therapy where you feel you can finally move on.

"Through the window, I leave behind the weight of war—the pain, the guilt, the memories that haunted me. I see a future where I am whole, where my service is honored, and where I can live with purpose and peace." (y)

I guess it slipped away in small increments. Took long enough ehh? ;)
 

Ha! I went through two years of therapy when it was part of my university's free services to students. I didn't know what to expect, but I was always interested in the concept. I talked weekly with my counselor about this and that, always being honest about what I was feeling. For a couple of months I found it enjoyable, but nothing happened until one day I had this feeling I was going crazy. I was all jumpy feeling I was losing it, so I made a quick appointment for that afternoon.

In that session, all that talking had led to what seemed like the mother of all insights. It was the only time I ever experienced a mind blowing insight right during the counseling session. I was overcome with calm and clarity. I said to the therapist, "That's it! This solves all my problems and we can quit now."

She was understanding and made sure to tell me I could talk to her at anytime in the future. But I really thought it was over. Little did I know, as is often the case in therapy, that first insight is the one that often breaks the dam holding back an unexplored sea of emotions. But I was on a high for a few days until things settled down, and that same crazy feeling of going nuts (anxiety) started up again. So I made another appointment.

The next year and a half was a roller coaster of fear and excitement always ending in more insights of self knowledge. At times, I considered this to be the most important part of my college education. That's a rough judgement call. My college education was enlightening in so many other ways, but the result of therapy was so unexpected and changed my life in so many ways.
 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I poo poo'd therapy for years thinking it wasn't manly. Ignoring anyone who thought it was necessary. It wasn't until years later, while visiting a friend in the hospital that I ran across a fellow combat vet there. We hit it off and he invited me to a group he belonged to. That led to the realization that I wasn't the only one feeling what I felt. Over the years, I had ups and of course, downs. But, it came to me last night, that life goes on and, all in all, it's been good to me. (thanks mostly to my dear wife). ❤️

It feels good.
 
squatting dog said:
I can finally say, that after 50+ years, I've gone "through the window". For those who don't know, this was the moment in therapy where you feel you can finally move on.

"Through the window, I leave behind the weight of war—the pain, the guilt, the memories that haunted me. I see a future where I am whole, where my service is honored, and where I can live with purpose and peace." (y)

I guess it slipped away in small increments. Took long enough ehh? ;)
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All we can do @squatting dog is what we feel is the right thing at the time.

It's sad to think that you have suffered for 50+ years but, good to know that you have finally left it behind and looking to the future. I wish you peace and happiness :)
 
squatting dog said:
I can finally say, that after 50+ years, I've gone "through the window". For those who don't know, this was the moment in therapy where you feel you can finally move on.

"Through the window, I leave behind the weight of war—the pain, the guilt, the memories that haunted me. I see a future where I am whole, where my service is honored, and where I can live with purpose and peace." (y)

I guess it slipped away in small increments. Took long enough ehh? ;)
Click to expand...
Wonderful! God bless you ❤️
 
squatting dog said:
I can finally say, that after 50+ years, I've gone "through the window". For those who don't know, this was the moment in therapy where you feel you can finally move on.

"Through the window, I leave behind the weight of war—the pain, the guilt, the memories that haunted me. I see a future where I am whole, where my service is honored, and where I can live with purpose and peace." (y)

I guess it slipped away in small increments. Took long enough ehh? ;)
Click to expand...
Glad you're back, welcome home. salute.gif
 
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