Have you ever just lost it?

G

GP44

Member

Medical problems have been tiring me out lately.
So I slept all through the middle of the day and to nearly supper time.
It might seem kind of crude to some people but we grab our food and take it into the TV room most nights.
The wife had her plate and I went into the kitchen to get my chilli dog fixings.
Bread, chopped onion, catsup and I like to slice the hotdog in two so that it isn’t as thick.
Grabbed some veggies to go with it.
I don’t like beans in my chilli so I was spooning beans out of my chilli into the garbage can when my plate tipped and my food went onto the floor.
I scraped it up and put it back on my plate and went into the tv room in a rage.
I sat down in my chair and sat my plate down and just lost it.
I yelled about beans in the chilli and just kept using God’s name in vain and throwing anything handy against the carpet except for my food.
I jumped up like a mad man and ran around the house cussing and screaming.
My wife was finished eating so she went outside and sat in the yard swing.
After I had calmed down and finished eating I went outside and asked her if she had been to the post office today.
She answered with “ what is your problem now!”
I told her just that- that I can get an answer like that when I ask a simple question!
She went back inside and I went to the post office and picked up our mail!
Things have been a lot quieter around here since that all happened.
Just wondering if it ever gets to anyone else.
It doesn’t get to me often!
But it seemed to just build up until I exploded!
 

There's an old song, Aunt Bea, by the Mills Brothers: You Always Hurt The One You Love.

I can relate to GP44 losing it, however. When I get hot under the collar, run for the hills. I have been known to actually trash my house in an uncontrolled rage. My mother could be the same way.

I always feel such remorse afterward and am totally ashamed of my actions and behavior. Thankfully, this is not the norm for me, as I am really a person of total peace. But, there are certain things that used to push my buttons beyond the pale.

Then everyone suffers.
 

I’m not a violent person but it was like I couldn’t quit being angry and my anger fed on my anger until I let off enough steam.
That was the most angry that I ever been in my life.
Maybe it is good for a person to let off some steam sometimes rather than to just keep resenting things.
I read somewhere that if you just suffer in silence it gives people the idea that they can continue with what they are doing to you.
I realized today that it might be important that someone sees the angry side of you when it is called for rather than seeing you as the suffering in silence kind.
A man can be so nice that he almost invites abuse.
Everybody knows that our younger son is like that. Although a lot of his friends and colleagues love him his women have abused him a lot.
 
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GP44 said:
Medical problems have been tiring me out lately.
So I slept all through the middle of the day and to nearly supper time.
It might seem kind of crude to some people but we grab our food and take it into the TV room most nights.
The wife had her plate and I went into the kitchen to get my chilli dog fixings.
Bread, chopped onion, catsup and I like to slice the hotdog in two so that it isn’t as thick.
Grabbed some veggies to go with it.
I don’t like beans in my chilli so I was spooning beans out of my chilli into the garbage can when my plate tipped and my food went onto the floor.
I scraped it up and put it back on my plate and went into the tv room in a rage.
I sat down in my chair and sat my plate down and just lost it.
I yelled about beans in the chilli and just kept using God’s name in vain and throwing anything handy against the carpet except for my food.
I jumped up like a mad man and ran around the house cussing and screaming.
My wife was finished eating so she went outside and sat in the yard swing.
After I had calmed down and finished eating I went outside and asked her if she had been to the post office today.
She answered with “ what is your problem now!”
I told her just that- that I can get an answer like that when I ask a simple question!
She went back inside and I went to the post office and picked up our mail!
Things have been a lot quieter around here since that all happened.
Just wondering if it ever gets to anyone else.
It doesn’t get to me often!
But it seemed to just build up until I exploded!
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To me that sounded like, and there's no way to put it politely, it sounded like a temper tantrum. Had I ever behaved like that I certainly wouldn't let anyone know. Maybe your mea culpa has some sort of theraputic effect, who knows.
Mrs GP44 deserves, at the very least, a bouquet of flowers, but if you can afford to push the boat out treat her to a meal out, somewhere quiet and sophisticated and make your humble apologies.
 
If a person is abusive in their behavior, forget the flowers and dinner. Flowers and dinner are too easy. I was married to an abusive man for a short time. The day after he beat me, pushed me down stairs, whatever, he would always send flowers and be oh-so-apologetic. BS.

You want to make up for bad behavior? Clean the house, do the laundry, do the shopping, cook the meals and clean up afterwards, wash the car, watch what your partner likes to watch on TV. And not just once, do it for several months. Unfortunately, nothing you do now will undo how you made her feel. She will never forget it. Anything you do is only assuaging your own guilty feelings.

Cook your own damned chili without beans.

Remember this: You may feel guilty about what you did. But the love she may have/had for you is dissipating with every instance of this.
 
You have my sympathy…this is obviously something that is causing you to think. I have never exactly “lost it” in the same manner as a verbal meltdown….my style was more like matches and dynamite. Stressors happen…how you ultimately deal with your current ones is something only you can decide. I no longer live in a situation which causes me such angst…hope you can find the cause and peace.
 
Six Truisms
We don't live with someone for an extended period without unpleasant moments.
Our home is our sanctuary, we can relax and be ourselves.
Our family is our support system, we stand together against the world.
Beans and chili go together like pb&j, otherwise it's just chili-powder and beef soup.
We must never lose control of ourselves.
If we do, we must apologize sincerely.

** It's not murder, it's marriage. **
 
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In my lifetime the only times I have "lost it" is when someone punches me in anger. If you punch me in anger, I react almost instinctually, and most likely you will find yourself on the ground with me holding you down.

I was a competitive wrestler since I was in 3rd grade. I just automatically take control of anyone that attacks me. This has not happened often but when it has, I simply take them down and make sure they know I have complete control of them. I usually have no need to 'punch them'.

I have always wondered what would happen if someone attacked me that were also wrestler? We would probably have a real good wrestling match until one of us wore out and quit!
 
Yes, I've "lost it" and succumbed to ventilating my rage on inanimate objects when a final last straw triggered me to release an accumulated reservoir of anger.......but not for a few years now.
I was brought to shame one day when I came home after such an event and witnessed the aftermath.
Now? I make an effort to be self aware of the build up of resentments and frustrations and to do what I can to address the deeper causations before anger heats up to a critical mass. I'm far from perfect, but equanimity is a goal I aspire to.
Actual physical exercise, in both the cardio and muscle development forms, deliberately performed when I sense the irritations of life are starting to annoy me can be very therapeutic.
 
I have a "lost it" story that I am ashamed of.

My father was an abusive drunk and it made my mom into a shadow, exsiting but trying not to be seen. I was 18 when my dad died and then my mom started coming out of her shell, she was a different person. I can't recall the reason but I was upset about something and picked up a tape despenser and smashed it against a wall, the sight of my poor mother cringing and shaking in fear broke my heart, I know she was reliving being around my dad, and I also knew that was a person I didn't want to be.

I've been mad since then but always kept my temper in check, maybe a raised voice at misbehaving kids, but never physically lashing out or breaking things.
 
Jazzy1 said:
I "just lost it" the night my father lost his battle with cancer. I was all alone and just "let it go". I have not done it
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So sorry for your loss! Although hearing that at the time that I lost family members didn’t seem like a lot at the time.
People telling me that really did help because it showed human kindness.
A lot of caring people on here feel your pain!
 
Aunt Bea said:
Everything is fine when I’m huffing and puffing, it’s when I get quiet that you had better worry and start running for the hills. 😉🤭😂
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I didn’t exactly trash the house but I was pretty rough on some of the things within my reach for a few seconds and then I went through the house ranting and raging for a few minutes.
I didn’t think that stuffing the food down my mouth in that condition would do my digestion any good so I quit trying to eat until I had calmed down.
More of a blind rage than a destructive one.
I think I could have controlled my anger if I wanted to but it really didn’t seem to be necessary at the time and I just let it all out.
 
Jazzy1 said:
I "just lost it" the night my father lost his battle with cancer. I was all alone and just "let it go". I have not done it again.
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I did the same thing when my mother lost her battle with cancer; I too was all alone with her in her house. (It really was like I'd heard described before: the sorrow & despair felt like a knife going through me.)
 
My mother always knew how to push my buttons and after my father died I "lost it" on her several times. A few weeks after he passed away, I wanted to sell his car. She yelled at me that she needed a car in her garage and she didn't even drive. I never really saw her mourn my father's death so it wasn't all about his memory.

She also stayed at our house for 2 weeks. There was a toilet that continued running and hubby said he would fix it. The builder of our house came to the door to introduce himself, she ran to the door and asked if he knew a good plumber. Hubby said "I'm going to fix it" and she said "Why haven't you?" She knew how to make me "lose it" and I felt bad afterward only because I took the bait. I ended up taking care of her for 21 years after my father passed away, and she mellowed only because she realized I had made a good life for her.

I've never "lost it" on my hubby because he would just go into a "quiet" mode that would be worse than anything I could say. :ROFLMAO:
 
Oy vay, I lose it so often. Did at CVS. They have new systems where the customer must work the computers. I refused. Not there to work. Clerk, who knows me though I don't remember her, "handled" me wonderfully. We even shared a laugh at the end.

HATE CVS. HATE.
 
Sometimes there are things going on in my life that have me frustrated in general. At those times, I'm very tense and may be unnecessarily rude or short with people, but I don't smash things, hit anyone, or damage property.
 

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