Forcing myself to socialize

L

LoveTulips

Senior Member
Location
British Columbia, Canada
I just realize I can't do this anymore. No friends and not socializing at all with anyone except my husband for the last 3 years. I might end up strangling him. :ROFLMAO:My husband doesn't socialize at all and doesn't care to. We also don't go anywhere or do anything (vacations, theatre, etc.).

I think I may go mad if I don't go out and talk to other people. So I have made myself a schedule and am going to the Seniors Centre. I'm not going with the attitude like I have to make friends. Also I'm going to not be so fussy about activities and/or people's personalities, I mean unless they are nasty to me. I just need other people to talk to about different things. Wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes. This is what I have scheduled.

Wednesday: Crafts 1 - 3 pm
Monday: Carpet Bowling 1 - 3 pm
Tuesdays: Crafts 12:30 pm - 2:30 pm
Tuesdays: Artists Drop-In 3 - 5 pm
Fridays: Canasta 1 - 4 pm
 

LoveTulips said:
I just realize I can't do this anymore. No friends and not socializing at all with anyone except my husband for the last 3 years. I might end up strangling him. :ROFLMAO:My husband doesn't socialize at all and doesn't care to. We also don't go anywhere or do anything (vacations, theatre, etc.).

I think I may go mad if I don't go out and talk to other people. So I have made myself a schedule and am going to the Seniors Centre. I'm not going with the attitude like I have to make friends. Also I'm going to not be so fussy about activities and/or people's personalities, I mean unless they are nasty to me. I just need other people to talk to about different things. Wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes. This is what I have scheduled.

Wednesday: Crafts 1 - 3 pm
Monday: Carpet Bowling 1 - 3 pm
Tuesdays: Crafts 12:30 pm - 2:30 pm
Tuesdays: Artists Drop-In 3 - 5 pm
Fridays: Canasta 1 - 4 pm
Click to expand...
Good luck.... I know how you feel.... and I don't even have anyone here at all.

I wish there was a seniors centre near here...that has people under 90 in it..lol
 
LoveTulips said:
I just realize I can't do this anymore. No friends and not socializing at all with anyone except my husband for the last 3 years. I might end up strangling him. :ROFLMAO:My husband doesn't socialize at all and doesn't care to. We also don't go anywhere or do anything (vacations, theatre, etc.).

I think I may go mad if I don't go out and talk to other people. So I have made myself a schedule and am going to the Seniors Centre. I'm not going with the attitude like I have to make friends. Also I'm going to not be so fussy about activities and/or people's personalities, I mean unless they are nasty to me. I just need other people to talk to about different things. Wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes. This is what I have scheduled.

Wednesday: Crafts 1 - 3 pm
Monday: Carpet Bowling 1 - 3 pm
Tuesdays: Crafts 12:30 pm - 2:30 pm
Tuesdays: Artists Drop-In 3 - 5 pm
Fridays: Canasta 1 - 4 pm
Click to expand...
I hope you have a fabulous time and make many new friends. I did this very thing about 10 years ago because my husband didn’t do anything either. It really worked out well. It may take a little time until people get to know you. Don’t give up.
 

We used to have get-togethers in our neighborhood where each couple would host a "happy hour" in their home. When Covid hit, we had "movie nights" out in a grassy area out by the creek with a complete screen/sound setup. Sadly, many couples have moved to other cities/states and I only know a few people now and we never get together anymore.

I do miss the social aspect of it, but now I get my socialization by going to the grocery store, the gym or the pharmacy. Yes, it's brief but it's enough for me. I still have my hubby as well and we plan things to do together. I won't strangle him but I do notice he is more "present" since he quit working. :ROFLMAO:

I hope you find satisfaction and socialization in the activities you've lined up. Sounds like fun!
 
I defiantly need to socialize more. I am widowed and lonely. I need more companionship in my life.
Finding a place to socialize and meet new people in same age bracket is hard to do.
They seem to have senior centers, which cater to the activities that one is able to do in a chair. This is good, but I am not there yet.
Activities that engage in physical sports seems to be geared to the younger generations.
When I do find a group that I can share an interest in, it’s usually too far away.
 
Vicky said:
I defiantly need to socialize more. I am widowed and lonely. I need more companionship in my life.
Finding a place to socialize and meet new people in same age bracket is hard to do.
They seem to have senior centers, which cater to the activities that one is able to do in a chair. This is good, but I am not there yet.
Activities that engage in physical sports seems to be geared to the younger generations.
When I do find a group that I can share an interest in, it’s usually too far away.
Click to expand...
Same here... !
 
Vicky said:
I defiantly need to socialize more. I am widowed and lonely. I need more companionship in my life.
Finding a place to socialize and meet new people in same age bracket is hard to do.
They seem to have senior centers, which cater to the activities that one is able to do in a chair. This is good, but I am not there yet.
Activities that engage in physical sports seems to be geared to the younger generations.
When I do find a group that I can share an interest in, it’s usually too far away.
Click to expand...
Pickleball is big with seniors these days. It still requires activity but is less strenuous than tennis. Maybe their are organizations in your area?

https://www.pickleheads.com/
 
If you have the resources, maybe think about going on a bus trip with other seniors.
Three years ago, I had been retired for 2 years and was going batty, so I turned the water off, locked up the house and got on a plane to the Netherlands. Stayed there for 4 days and then flew to Germany to visit an Uncle. He was shocked, but glad to see me.
I felt like a new person when I returned.
 
LoveTulips said:
I just realize I can't do this anymore. No friends and not socializing at all with anyone except my husband for the last 3 years. I might end up strangling him. :ROFLMAO:My husband doesn't socialize at all and doesn't care to. We also don't go anywhere or do anything (vacations, theatre, etc.).

I think I may go mad if I don't go out and talk to other people. So I have made myself a schedule and am going to the Seniors Centre. I'm not going with the attitude like I have to make friends. Also I'm going to not be so fussy about activities and/or people's personalities, I mean unless they are nasty to me. I just need other people to talk to about different things. Wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes. This is what I have scheduled.

Wednesday: Crafts 1 - 3 pm
Monday: Carpet Bowling 1 - 3 pm
Tuesdays: Crafts 12:30 pm - 2:30 pm
Tuesdays: Artists Drop-In 3 - 5 pm
Fridays: Canasta 1 - 4 pm
Click to expand...
Hope it goes well and let us know.
 
LoveTulips said:
I just realize I can't do this anymore. No friends and not socializing at all with anyone except my husband for the last 3 years. I might end up strangling him. :ROFLMAO:My husband doesn't socialize at all and doesn't care to. We also don't go anywhere or do anything (vacations, theatre, etc.).

I think I may go mad if I don't go out and talk to other people. So I have made myself a schedule and am going to the Seniors Centre. I'm not going with the attitude like I have to make friends. Also I'm going to not be so fussy about activities and/or people's personalities, I mean unless they are nasty to me. I just need other people to talk to about different things. Wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes. This is what I have scheduled.

Wednesday: Crafts 1 - 3 pm
Monday: Carpet Bowling 1 - 3 pm
Tuesdays: Crafts 12:30 pm - 2:30 pm
Tuesdays: Artists Drop-In 3 - 5 pm
Fridays: Canasta 1 - 4 pm
Click to expand...
OMG you sound like me. I go back and forth about joining. I am most interested in bus trips.
Yes, pleeeease, let me know how it goes.
 
Vicky said:
Finding a place to socialize and meet new people in same age bracket is hard to do.
Click to expand...
It's the same way around here. There was limited stuff even before Covid & then that shut just about everything down. Sometimes this place feels like what I've heard about the Old Western towns: nothing to do and no place to go except saloons and churches, both of which I have no interest in.
 
For me, socializing is more uncomfortable than being alone.

If there isn’t much available in your area, you might consider volunteering.

In this area the local animal shelters are always looking for folks to help socialize and exercise the animals in their care.

There are probably opportunities in almost any organization that you can imagine.

It doesn’t have to be a lifetime commitment, experiment a little until you find your niche.
 
Jules said:
It really does take time for the long timers to adjust to a new person, then all of a sudden they realize you’re one of them.
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So true; happened to a friend's elderly father: he'd moved to a new town, starting hanging out at a fast food place, lingering, drinking coffee & reading the newspaper, had been going in every weekday for a couple of months when finally some other old guys who were gathered there also every day, came up to him and asked if he'd like to join them, they said they noticed he'd been coming in every day for a week (!).
 
I never felt comfortable socializing with others I'm a shy person I like to be by myself,that changed as I grew older. When I was living at Tudor Plaza apt complex, in the summer months loved sitting outside in our lovely garden talking with other residents or just sit by myself
When I moved here to Canterbury Woods- Gates last yr,I became more social able with the residents living here
There are 65 of us in this small community, a few residents I've never met because they either live in the assisted living apts{ there are 5 here} or have round the clock aides. My friend, Marcia& my brother have called me 'a social ambassador' because I like inviting either church friends or my friends from Tudor PLaza here for lunch or dinner
 
I the original poster. Anyways, my mom before she passed away only found new friends by moving into the Legacy condos in Calgary, Alberta. They had their own chef, library, crafts room, a van to transport them back and forth to theatre plays at night, etc. There were no medical facilities and of course, there was an age restriction of I think over 50. That would be perfect for me.
 
LoveTulips said:
I just realize I can't do this anymore. No friends and not socializing at all with anyone except my husband for the last 3 years. I might end up strangling him. :ROFLMAO:My husband doesn't socialize at all and doesn't care to. We also don't go anywhere or do anything (vacations, theatre, etc.).
Click to expand...

MaidMarian said:
I did this very thing about 10 years ago because my husband didn’t do anything either.
Click to expand...

It's comments like these that remind me to be thankful that I live alone. Don't have to run any of my decisions by anyone for acceptance or approval. 😌 @LoveTulips I hope you make lots of friends and have ever-increasing exciting times. Maybe your husband will notice, be inspired or curious and venture out there too.
 
LoveTulips said:
I just realize I can't do this anymore. No friends and not socializing at all with anyone except my husband for the last 3 years. I might end up strangling him. :ROFLMAO:My husband doesn't socialize at all and doesn't care to. We also don't go anywhere or do anything (vacations, theatre, etc.).

I think I may go mad if I don't go out and talk to other people. So I have made myself a schedule and am going to the Seniors Centre. I'm not going with the attitude like I have to make friends. Also I'm going to not be so fussy about activities and/or people's personalities, I mean unless they are nasty to me. I just need other people to talk to about different things. Wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes. This is what I have scheduled.

Wednesday: Crafts 1 - 3 pm
Monday: Carpet Bowling 1 - 3 pm
Tuesdays: Crafts 12:30 pm - 2:30 pm
Tuesdays: Artists Drop-In 3 - 5 pm
Fridays: Canasta 1 - 4 pm
Click to expand...
I hope these social activities helps fill the void you feel is missing. I'm kind of the same boat. I lost my husband and I have too much time on my hands. I've started going back to church and doing some volunteering and that's helped a lot with filling in my void.
 
Vicky said:
I defiantly need to socialize more. I am widowed and lonely. I need more companionship in my life.
Finding a place to socialize and meet new people in same age bracket is hard to do.
They seem to have senior centers, which cater to the activities that one is able to do in a chair. This is good, but I am not there yet.
Activities that engage in physical sports seems to be geared to the younger generations.
When I do find a group that I can share an interest in, it’s usually too far away.
Click to expand...
I am widowed also and know how you feel. What I've thought about but haven't done it yet is to take a tour bus with people my age. They have them in most major cities. The two places I've thought about going is Mackinac Island and Lancaster Pennsylvania. The reason I haven't yet is that I'm trying to build up the nerve to go it by myself. In the meantime, I've started going back to church and met some nice people and started volunteering at a historical museum which is interesting and have nice people. I've got a way to go. I'm just taking it a day at a time.
 
LoveTulips said:
my mom before she passed away only found new friends by moving into the Legacy condos in Calgary, Alberta. They had their own chef, library, crafts room, a van to transport them back and forth to theatre plays at night, etc. There were no medical facilities and of course, there was an age restriction of I think over 50. That would be perfect for me.
Click to expand...
That sounds like it'd be perfect for me too. On the other hand, a place like that sounds like the basement of hell to my husband so here we stay.
 
I'm just the opposite and spend about 99.8% of my time alone. My phone has only rang once in two months. Being social and around other people sends me into a deep depression that takes days to recover. I go weeks without uttering a single word to anyone. I am only comfortable alone. I moved miles away from family and friends just to be alone and now content and love it.
 
Oldeagle66 said:
I'm just the opposite and spend about 99.8% of my time alone. My phone has only rang once in two months. Being social and around other people sends me into a deep depression that takes days to recover. I go weeks without uttering a single word to anyone. I am only comfortable alone. I moved miles away from family and friends just to be alone and now content and love it.
Click to expand...
I'm glad you're able to live life on your own terms and you're happy being a loner. In my opinion, it takes a strong person to be able to do that.
 
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