If You Were Single Would You Loan Your Partner Money?

Been There

Been There

Well-known Member
Location
Florida
I am just curious. I have been seeing a really nice woman now for just over 7 months. She needs to have her roof and spouting replaced for a total of $18,000. She said she really doesn’t have enough money, but she has a line of credit with the bank that would more than cover it, but she would be paying a high interest rate. I asked her how much she was short and she told me that she would need $6000. I offered to loan her the money interest free, but she turned me down. I asked her why would she want to pay the interest when she can get it at no charge.

She did add that she could cash in a T-bill, but it’s paying a good rate so she wants to hold onto it.

She told me that she wants to keep our relationship the way it is now. Borrowing or loaning money can change a person’s attitude toward the other.
Would you loan money to your supposed partner? Should I offer to give her the money with no strings attached?
 

Been There said:
She told me that she wants to keep our relationship the way it is now. Borrowing or loaning money can change a person’s attitude toward the other.
Would you loan money to your supposed partner?
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I think she is wise to know a persons attitude can change. How would you feel if for whatever reason your relationship with this woman ended with her owing you money on a verbal agreement?

There is something real about this saying.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

The phrase "neither a borrower nor a lender be" means that one should avoid borrowing money from friends or acquaintances and should also refrain from lending money to others. This advice, given by Polonius in Shakespeare's "Hamlet," suggests that engaging in such financial transactions can lead to complications and potentially spoil relationships. Essentially, it emphasizes the importance of self-reliance and maintaining healthy personal connections without the strain of financial dealings.

 
PeppermintPatty said:
We recently loaned our in-laws $4000. We offered $8000 since that’s how much they needed. We aren’t in a hurry to get it back.
Our in-laws were ready to lose their house. We are hoping that our money will prevent that.
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That’s a wonderful gesture but I would only do it if I believed that the underlying problem/issue had been resolved and that the $4,000.00 would allow them to get even and stay even.
 
A long time ago someone I thought was my best buddy asked me to loan him $1,600.00. Something about his sick mother and she needed drugs they couldn't afford. He said he had just started a new job and would start paying me back in a month. Of course I was happy to help him out and I did. A couple of months went by and I hadn't heard from him. Long story short, I found out later he'd been fired from his job because he'd become addicted to cocaine and was always high!
It wasn't so much the loss of $$ that bothered me it was the sudden, unexpected destruction of what had been an important friendship. Never did hear from the guy so I supposed he never cleaned himself up or if he did he was too embarrassed to contact me?

Bottom line, I would never again lend anyone close to me money! Not worth destroying a relationship.
 
Been There said:
I am just curious. I have been seeing a really nice woman now for just over 7 months. She needs to have her roof and spouting replaced for a total of $18,000. She said she really doesn’t have enough money, but she has a line of credit with the bank that would more than cover it, but she would be paying a high interest rate. I asked her how much she was short and she told me that she would need $6000. I offered to loan her the money interest free, but she turned me down. I asked her why would she want to pay the interest when she can get it at no charge.

She did add that she could cash in a T-bill, but it’s paying a good rate so she wants to hold onto it.

She told me that she wants to keep our relationship the way it is now. Borrowing or loaning money can change a person’s attitude toward the other.
Would you loan money to your supposed partner? Should I offer to give her the money with no strings attached?
Click to expand...
well consider this...what happens if you guys part ways and she doesn't pay you back? and frankly i think lending her money might put a strain on the relationship and she probably knows that which is why she is rejecting the idea.

i'm sure you mean well and i think it's lovely that you are such a kind person but sometimes it's best to listen to the woman. i think if she has said no, you should respect her and let it go.
 
I would never accept or loan money to someone I was seeing whether they were nice or not. It's one thing if you're married, but I wouldn't want to be financially obligated to someone I was seeing, or they be obligated to me. I would do as she suggested and let her cash in a T bill. She might lose some interest but that's the price you pay for home ownership.
 
Been There said:
she turned me down
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Been There said:
She told me that she wants to keep our relationship the way it is now. Borrowing or loaning money can change a person’s attitude toward the other.
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I remember you posting in the past about trying to help her, or maybe it was a question about buying her a particular gift. I'm sorry that I can't remember the details. She seems very nice and genuine, but that's only something I assume from what I've read of your past post(s), and I still think of her that way from what she's told you this time.

But no, I would not go any further with the suggestion of a loan with or without interest. Over the years, I have seen some of my most solid relationships develop cracks, and only go downhill from there on. But my perspective is from one person who has learned to be very cautious.
 
Knight said:
I think she is wise to know a persons attitude can change. How would you feel if for whatever reason your relationship with this woman ended with her owing you money on a verbal agreement?

There is something real about this saying.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

The phrase "neither a borrower nor a lender be" means that one should avoid borrowing money from friends or acquaintances and should also refrain from lending money to others. This advice, given by Polonius in Shakespeare's "Hamlet," suggests that engaging in such financial transactions can lead to complications and potentially spoil relationships. Essentially, it emphasizes the importance of self-reliance and maintaining healthy personal connections without the strain of financial dealings.
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i find that people most often can't even be trusted to pay back $20 so i don't lend money. i've been screwed a few times.
 
MrPants said:
A long time ago someone I thought was my best buddy asked me to loan him $1,600.00. Something about his sick mother and she needed drugs they couldn't afford. He said he had just started a new job and would start paying me back in a month. Of course I was happy to help him out and I did. A couple of months went by and I hadn't heard from him. Long story short, I found out later he'd been fired from his job because he'd become addicted to cocaine and was always high!
It wasn't so much the loss of $$ that bothered me it was the sudden, unexpected destruction of what had been an important friendship. Never did hear from the guy so I supposed he never cleaned himself up or if he did he was too embarrassed to contact me?

Bottom line, I would never again lend anyone close to me money! Not worth destroying a relationship.
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Agreed, I once loaned my sister a $1000.00 and she became mad, hostile and down right rude when I asked for it back.
 
TeePee said:
I would never accept or loan money to someone I was seeing whether they were nice or not. It's one thing if you're married, but I wouldn't want to be financially obligated to someone I was seeing, or they be obligated to me. I would do as she suggested and let her cash in a T bill. She might lose some interest but that's the price you pay for home ownership.
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I agree. It's not like she has no options. She might be able to get a home equity loan that wouldn't be as high an interest rate as a personal loan or most lines of credit because it has the house as collateral. Doesn't the roofing company have a financing plan, most people don't pay cash for a new roof?
 
MrPants said:
A long time ago someone I thought was my best buddy asked me to loan him $1,600.00. Something about his sick mother and she needed drugs they couldn't afford. He said he had just started a new job and would start paying me back in a month. Of course I was happy to help him out and I did. A couple of months went by and I hadn't heard from him. Long story short, I found out later he'd been fired from his job because he'd become addicted to cocaine and was always high!
It wasn't so much the loss of $$ that bothered me it was the sudden, unexpected destruction of what had been an important friendship. Never did hear from the guy so I supposed he never cleaned himself up or if he did he was too embarrassed to contact me?

Bottom line, I would never again lend anyone close to me money! Not worth destroying a relationship.
Click to expand...

A good friend of mine inherited a lot of stocks and bonds when her dad died. He was a retired CEO from Eli Lilly. She was set for life.

Fast forward...she met someone online in 2019 and he gave her a lot of false promises for their future. I know she has "loaned" him a lot of money although she won't admit to it. The reason I know this is because she's been hitting me up for money which she has never done before.
I did loan her $1000 once and she only paid it partially back. She has since asked for more money, but I declined.

I've known her since the 70's and this is totally out of character for her. She's always lived frugally and managed her money well. The crazy part of this is, she's never met the man. He supposedly is out drilling oil off the coast of Louisianna. She's book smart but not smart when it comes to men. She's 80 years old and still having to work to put a roof over her head. A lot of women (especially elderly) are prone to getting scammed by men praying on their emotions. Having said that, I know several men have been scammed by women. It goes both ways.
 
Della said:
I agree. It's not like she has no options. She might be able to get a home equity loan that wouldn't be as high an interest rate as a personal loan or most lines of credit because it has the house as collateral. Doesn't the roofing company have a financing plan, most people don't pay cash for a new roof?
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Wouldn't your home insurance pay for the damage unless it's damage that's occurred over a period?
 
At the seven month point of a relationship? Not a chance. And probably never would I loan the money. If I could afford it I may gift the money but still no way at the seven month point.

Good for her not taking it, she is smart not to want to feel obligated so early in the relationship.
 

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