When you’re invited to someone’s home for a gathering

[Veronica]

Its been a while since Ive been invited anywhere but in the past it depended on who invited me.
Family and friends usually expected me to bring dessert. And a burnt offering and maybe an appetizer.

If going to someone's house that I dont know well I would stick to a hostess gift unless asked for something specific.
Some people are very territorial about their menu and dont appreciate last minute additions.
My go to is to pick something ordinary and do an upgrade. For example if you bake a bottle of real vanilla.
If Im not sure I bring seasonal paper plates for them to use later.

Overnight coffee cake always seemed to go over well. You mix it up and put it in the fridge overnight.
All they had to do was pop it in the oven in the morning. Warm coffee cake for breakfast.

 

[KSav]

Its been a while since Ive been invited anywhere but in the past it depended on who invited me.
Family and friends usually expected me to bring dessert. And a burnt offering and maybe an appetizer.

If going to someone's house that I dont know well I would stick to a hostess gift unless asked for something specific.
Some people are very territorial about their menu and dont appreciate last minute additions.
My go to is to pick something ordinary and do an upgrade. For example if you bake a bottle of real vanilla.
If Im not sure I bring seasonal paper plates for them to use later.

Overnight coffee cake always seemed to go over well. You mix it up and put it in the fridge overnight.
All they had to do was pop it in the oven in the morning. Warm coffee cake for breakfast.

Those are all such good ideas, especially real vanilla for a baker.

 

[WheatenLover]

There was an etiquette expert on tv talking about the party gifts you could give your guests when they leave.

To me, that's just over the top. So now adults get treat bags when they come to a party!

 

[WheatenLover]

My cousin usually has all the parties at her house, so I'll bring either a few muffins or coffee cake...something easy for the morning after so she doesn't have to cook. I'll tuck it away by the toaster so she sees it.

That is a great idea! Thanks!

 

[MarciKS]

Honestly @Ronni, I don't know if it's because of my age but, we were not raised to bring a gift to someone's house for gatherings. It may have been a financial thing because we didn't have much. I just know my mother would always ask if she could bring something like food or something to help out.

If it was a requirement to buy a gift for the hostess I would have to decline. Myself personally, if I had people over I would never expect them to bring a gift. Just their presence and company is all I would want or need.

 

[Lethe200]

Times have changed and so have customs.

I see it from both sides. I married into an immigrant Asian family and not bringing a housegift - or at least flowers - is still considered a breach of civility.

But most of my friends are 10-20 yrs younger. 'Getting together' is a more informal meet-up, and although flowers or a bottle of wine is appreciated, it isn't de rigueur between friends. If you DON'T know the host/hostess on a close personal basis, then yes, a small gift would be considered nice although not strictly necessary.

Personally I do not want any gifts of any sort. We are trying (not very energetically, but we think about it a lot, LOL) to downsize. Plus, I'm really fussy about what I buy and we have the discretionary income to buy exactly what we want, whenever we want.

Thankfully, another new custom is that almost everyone meets up at cafes or restaurants. No hostess gifts required! Otherwise, it's potlucks, and it's hard to go wrong with bringing food!

 

[Trish]

These days, people tend to go out and meet up. I much prefer that tbh as you can just relax, order what you want and no one has to do the clearing up

 

[Ronni]

To me it’s a waste of money and excess goods that will end up in the thrift store or landfill. Or it’s something they’ve received and are recycling. Obviously, I’m not a fan of the custom. I do do it.

There was an etiquette expert on tv talking about the party gifts you could give your guests when they leave.

I’ve had gatherings, like a Christmas party for example, where I had a craft table set up and supplies to make your own ornaments. Nothing complicated, like small wooden bird houses to paint, or Christmasy plywood cutouts and glue, paint, beads, jewels etc with which to decorate it.

If they chose, they could go home with one or more ornaments. That was always a hit.

 

[jujube]

I’ve had gatherings, like a Christmas party for example, where I had a craft table set up and supplies to make your own ornaments. Nothing complicated, like small wooden bird houses to paint, or Christmasy plywood cutouts and glue, paint, beads, jewels etc with which to decorate it.

If they chose, they could go home with one or more ornaments. That was always a hit.

Oh, I like that idea!

 

[StarSong]

At my holiday parties, people leave with a box of 50 of my cookies, plus whatever they've decorated, and often some pizza, as well.

I'm not a candle person, but my daughter gave me something like this last year and it's just the ticket. I put it in the guest bathroom with one of those large scented candle underneath. The best part is its 4 hour timer so I don't have to remember to shut it off.

I donate candles with scents I don't like. Ditto any other gifts (hostess or otherwise) that aren't my taste.

 

[taliovelez]

In my culture the women would always chose, prepared and distributed the food. The girls learned by example to emulate their mothers when it was their time. We men paid for everything as was expected of us. Our holidays were shared by very few outsiders if any and if so gifts from them were vigorously discouraged. In a group setting each family donated money to further peace and harmony within us or items for other cultures under our global relief programs. Thank you.