Friend does not want to wait for inheritance

debodun said:
I am concerned that she's invited me to her house for the Fourth of July for a picnic. She now works in a research facility where she has access to almost any type of chemical. Is she going to make me some "special" potato salad?
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I would pass on that picnic if I were you, and like other's suggested, distance yourself from this woman, she's not to be trusted.
 

Wow, you are being way too nice to someone who clearly is not being a friend. I would never expect ANYTHING in return for helping a friend, except maybe a "thank you" or for your continuous friendship. I can see she has no interest in you as a person but only for your possessions. I agree everyone around you should know about this just in case and geez, donate that item to a charity or leave to someone special - she should not have it. Be careful (I would stay away from her).
 
I received a call from a cousin today saying the woman contacted him by email where he works. He was confused because he doesn't even know her. She was asking for contact info about me. He sent me a copy of the text and it's a rambling, repetitive message saying in essence, that she wants to rekindle our so-called friendship and for him to give her my phone number.

He added that he didn't give her my phone number or even answer the message. Two years ago she called my aunt who mistakenly gave her my phone number at that time, so I had to block it. I really think it is chutzpah contacting my relatives - I didn't think she knew who they were. Where is she getting this info? She must be desperate to go to all that trouble. I am just flabbergasted.
 

Wow. My brother once threw away his phone when a woman didn't stop bothering him. She contacted me to get in contact with him. This one sounds quite greedy and psycho. People seldom just help. They always want something.
 
debodun said:
He sent me a copy of the text and it's a rambling, repetitive message saying in essence, that she wants to rekindle our so-called friendship and for him to give her my phone number.
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The pics you post about the stuff you still have maybe rekindling her friendship might be a way to dispose of the stuff you put out time & again at your yard sales that don't sell. She might just take it.
 
If you still have the authentic Scrimshaw that she wanted when she was helping you clean things out, my money is on the fact that she may need money and wants that scrimshaw because she knows it’s worth a lot of money.

Have you ever had that appraised? I went online and they can be valued anywhere from $1000-$75,000 —- maybe more.

I hope you have it in a safe place or if you already sold it then it won’t be an issue if she shows up at your door. which come hopefully she won’t show up at your door.

BTW, as a few others have commented this woman is no friend and never has been. I believe what her own mother said about her, that she is only out for herself. She needs money.——-
 
debodun said:
After my mother passed, a woman I worked with before I retired offered to come to my house and help me sort through things. While she was there, she saw the piece of authentic scrimshaw and wanted it. I told her it wasn't for sale. She seemed to accept this and continued to come on weekend for about 6 weeks. There were other things she saw and I happily gave them to her as payment for her coming and helping (some furniture and an old student lamp).

After 6 weeks, she suddenly announced that she wasn't coming any more. When I asked why, she said that we had "reached a point of diminishing returns." I was a little taken aback, but she had helped me to the point that I was able to manage by myself from then on, but to me it seemed like she was just coming in order to have first dibs on anything she might see and want (i.e. when she ascertained that there was nothing more of interest to her, she quit).

A few months later, I made some changes to my will since my situation had changed. I remembered how she really wanted the scrimshaw piece and made an addition to my will to leave it to her, and in the event she predeceased me (she is over 5 year older than me), it would go to her daughter since the name Sarah is engraved in it and her daughter's name is Sarah. I informed her of my action. This was 7 years ago.

A few weeks ago I received a phone call from this woman saying she didn't want to wait to receive the scrimshaw and asked if she could have it now as she wanted to give it to Sarah for a 30th birthday gift. She offered to buy it, but I still refused. It is probably one of the most valuable items I won next to my house and car.

I just wanted an opinion of this woman's behavior - it it normal for people to want to purchase items when they don't want to wait to inherit, or is it the epitome of chutzpah?
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debodun said:
After my mother passed, a woman I worked with before I retired offered to come to my house and help me sort through things. While she was there, she saw the piece of authentic scrimshaw and wanted it. I told her it wasn't for sale. She seemed to accept this and continued to come on weekend for about 6 weeks. There were other things she saw and I happily gave them to her as payment for her coming and helping (some furniture and an old student lamp).

After 6 weeks, she suddenly announced that she wasn't coming any more. When I asked why, she said that we had "reached a point of diminishing returns." I was a little taken aback, but she had helped me to the point that I was able to manage by myself from then on, but to me it seemed like she was just coming in order to have first dibs on anything she might see and want (i.e. when she ascertained that there was nothing more of interest to her, she quit).

A few months later, I made some changes to my will since my situation had changed. I remembered how she really wanted the scrimshaw piece and made an addition to my will to leave it to her, and in the event she predeceased me (she is over 5 year older than me), it would go to her daughter since the name Sarah is engraved in it and her daughter's name is Sarah. I informed her of my action. This was 7 years ago.

A few weeks ago I received a phone call from this woman saying she didn't want to wait to receive the scrimshaw and asked if she could have it now as she wanted to give it to Sarah for a 30th birthday gift. She offered to buy it, but I still refused. It is probably one of the most valuable items I won next to my house and car.

I just wanted an opinion of this woman's behavior - it it normal for people to want to purchase items when they don't want to wait to inherit, or is it the epitome of chutzpah?
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It transends chutzpah and dives into the bog of greed, narcissism, and lack of feeling for others. Redo your will and walk away from this one.
 
Her husband passed away about 4 years ago she sent me an email then, but I didn't respond.

The last time I was at her house - it was some holiday - she offered leftovers to take home. She gave me containers then went in the other room. Shortly after, her daughter came into the kitchen and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was taking leftovers home. She became very angry, said I had no right to do that and grabbed the containers and leftover food away and jammed them in the fridge, slammed the fridge door shut, then flounced out of the kitchen.

Then when my former friend came back she asked me what happened, I told her and she said, "I'll speak to her later." I wonder if she ever did. I almost feel like I was set-up for a confrontation with her daughter; like she used me to get back at her daughter somehow.
 
My ex mother in law died in 1986. She had a very modest estate worth about 40 grand. And she had 4 kids. So 10K each. You should have seen the way the knives came out over that. Reminded me of this scene from Zorba the Greek. :ROFLMAO:

 
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Give her the Scrimshaw, Deb!
I was all for changing your will and telling her at first, but after hearing these other stories I honestly think you might be in danger. You can't take that Scrimshaw with you and your safety is paramount.
 
Della said:
Give her the Scrimshaw, Deb!
I was all for changing your will and telling her at first, but after hearing these other stories I honestly think you might be in danger. You can't take that Scrimshaw with you and your safety is paramount.
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Nooooooooooooooooo! Scrimshaw is cool. Don't let her get her hands on it!
 
Jules said:
Deb, did you ever change your will so she’s no longer in it.
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Yes, a while back. It is now designated to be donated to the Mystic Seaport Museum. More people can see and enjoy it there.

It is an unusual piece as it has a literary theme rather than a maritime one, depicting poet John Greenleaf Whittier and one of his poems. It is also mounted on a bronze base. I did take it to the museum back in 2007 (a nice overnight trip). The curator at that time said that professional ethics forbade him from placing any value on it.

scrimshaw.jpg
 
If I was in your situation I would be very concerned, this knowledge is now out there in the public domain. It is certainly a beautiful piece, might you like to donate it to the museum while you are still on earth, there you could view it while still alive and be happy that it is giving others pleasure. Then you might like to tell the lady and get her and her relatives off your back.
 
Trade said:
I agree. I wouldn't put it past this person to sneak in and grab it for herself before the will can be executed.
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I wouldn't put it past her either. In her greedy mind it's hers now and she might just feel entitled to break in ... plus she keeps that gun in her car and has threatened to use it on people.

I like the idea of giving it to the museum now and then at least she wouldn't be thinking it was at Deb's house.
 
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