What was your first memory of a disappointment...or something Unfair

hollydolly

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
What was the ffirst time you can remember feeling disapointed or hard done by...something that was unfair, and has stuck with you to this day...

I'll gve you an example, the tooth fairy thread reminded me...

When I was about 5 or 6... a neighbour had a kids party, and I was invited. The first party I'd ever been to.

She told all of us kids that there was sixpences ( which was quite a lot for a kid in those day)..in the cake...

Everyone was given a piece of cake.. but what she didn't say was that she's also added buttons as well to the cake... and I was one if not the only one who got a button and not a sixpence, while all the other kids were whooping with joy at finding a sixpence in their cake..I got a rubber pyjama button...

I wasn't expecting it because she hadn't mentioned buttons.. and so I told her I didn't get a sixpence, and she dismissed it with a shrug..

That was my first disappointment in life..in my memory...

What was yours.. ?
 

Last edited:
Timely because it involves Christmas. I was... probably around 8. Very excited about the church Christmas party for the kids. I'd chosen my exchange gift and wrapped it and was all excited to see what I'd get in return. And there were always such wonderful cookies, fudge, little sandwiches, and other goodies.

Only I caught the flu and my parents wouldn't let me go because "you don't want to make all the other children sick, do you?" (Side note... at that age, I'm not sure I cared.🤭) So I had a nice night with my grandma, but I was soooo steamed! Mama brought me my gift from the exchange and a plateful of goodies, but it sure wasn't the same, and very disappointing.
 

I was pretty happy in early childhood, it came later just hitting the teen years.
A boy who lived near my grandparents and I became "Park Buddies". This was before
BF/GF type relationships were really in my mind.
One day he tells me his brother got into some trouble and they were moving up north.
He tells me he will write me once he gets there and takes my address down.
He does write me and in one letter explains about his brother and this girl and how his brother
ran away from home back to this girl and is now living with her.
In one sentence he simply asks "Have you heard the term "Shacking Up" and if so how do you
feel about it. His family were stern Catholics so I knew he was hurting listening to his parents over this.

Well, my snoopy sister who was supposed to respect my privacy and a certain treasure box I had in the closet
got into it, found the letter. Tore it into pieces and gave my Mom the small portion of the "Shacking Up"
how do you feel about it" to my Mom. Mom went ballistic, would not listen to me and told me I could not
call or write him again and I was grounded for 2 months.

I nearly killed my sister over her doing this and the mess she made. Mom came in from the neighbors just
as I had my sister down and kicking her. I got grounded another month (justifiably). Once I cooled down
I was shocked and disappointed at myself that another person could effect me so strongly that I could do that.
That is why I refuse to this day to react of someone taunting me to rile me, upset me and refuse to discuss things in anger.
The hurt and disappoint is not worth letting someone change who I am for their selfish evil motives.
 
Rakaia said:
Ooh this hurts, it was the realisation that I was a rare creature who didn't have a father in their life.
Due to the timing and norms of those days I was in a minority group. A decade or so later single mothers became more prevalent...
Click to expand...
Likewise for me too. I was born in 1950, and I think I was around 6 or so when mum told me that I didn't actually have a dad. Up till then she'd always said he was in the army, and soldiering away somewhere. What made it worse was that up till then, whenever anyone my age had asked me where my dad was I'd always told them what my mum had told me. So it was not only disappointing, but embarrassing as well when I found out that unbeknownst to me I'd been telling everyone a lie.
 
On a family vacation we stayed at a campground in Wisconsin. It had a wonderful sandy beach for my sister and I, but the fishing was terrible for my dad. No one caught a single fish, but other nearby less convenient lakes were OK. So I went swimming one day with my flippers snorkel and face bask, and while looking around under the water, I come face to face with a bass. I ran back to our campsite, grabbed a pole and some sort of lure, and ran down to the spot along the beach where I saw the bass.

On my first cast, I got a strike, and the fight was on with lots of tugging an pulling. Sometimes a strike is just one tug, but doesn't actually hook the fish, but this one was hooked, but after a few seconds, the fish threw the lure and got away. Further casts were of no avail. The bass was not going to make the same mistake twice.

I excitedly told my father what had happened, and he didn't believe me. He told me I was just making it up. I pleaded with him to believe me. He called me a liar. There was nothing I could do to prove it really happened. There was no way to make him understand that I was telling the truth. I felt betrayed and and helpless, and all I got from my father was disgust. It's not a big deal now, but then, it seemed like the worst thing that could happen to me.

Over the years, I became hardened to my father picking apart anything thing I did that was successful. He was OK with me doing poorly at anything, although he was critical, and there were plenty of things I did poorly, but success at anything, all the way through college, seemed to be something he could not abide. I eventually broke ties with him and never talked to him again. I have mostly forgiven him, but still slightly bothered that we never reconciled. I don't think he was capable of any more positive behavior, but I'll never know if there was something beyond my reach that could have mended the fence. I don't think there was, but I don't know.
 
When I was between 2 and 3 years old... I was sent to a Convalescent home to recover from a bout of Pneumonia..

A nurse there slapped me, for no reason at all... so when my mother came I told her what this nurse had done, and the nurse actually called me a liar to my mother.

At such a young age, I remember being horrified that an adult had told a lie... but of course I was unable being a toddler, to respond to that.

I have no idea how my mother might have dealt with that at the time or later.. but I do remember feeling that my mum might have thought I;d made it up, because after all the nurse was a grown up.. and maybe my mum believed her over me

It came as such a traumatic event in my life at that young age.. that even now 68 years later I remember that evil nurse's name was Chalmers...
 
Last edited:
So I must of been about five or so. We lived in a rather hot summer climate and played in the sprinklers all summer. My brother and I wore our underwear. That summer my mother informed me I could no longer run around without a shirt because “I was a GIRL”. That was my first clue that things might be very different for me…
 
Muskrat said:
So I must of been about five or so. We lived in a rather hot summer climate and played in the sprinklers all summer. My brother and I wore our underwear. That summer my mother informed me I could no longer run around without a shirt because “I was a GIRL”. That was my first clue that things might be very different for me…
Click to expand...
My sons once had a girl come over to play. They were around 6/7/8. They all took off their shirt cause it was hot in the park. She took her shirt off too. They started to giggle. She says: What? I have nothing. Fabulous. Loved it. You go girl.
 
One year, I was about 8, my sister, brother and I decided to look at the presents my mother had put away until Christmas. They were some presents that we wanted and so when opening them on Christmas day it was so hard to act surprised and be happy about them, thinking how we cheated when knowing what they were before opening them.

I felt sorry for my Mom and Dad not knowing that we ruined the surprise of that Christmas. We didn't do it again.
 
Oh lol I know one thing. Had to think really hard cause I'm the spoiled youngest. My brother and sister are 8 and 10 years older. We went to Spain with the car and we were hungry but only had one package of cookies. So my dad was like: We're big and hungry and you're small, so I got 1 and they got loads. I said to myself: I will never forget this. When I'm old and they all visit I will give them all 1 cookie and eat the whole can myself. Calimero complex :D. They are big and I is small and that's not fair!
 
I was in second grade. The teacher had told us all to not talk to one another while we completed a worksheet.

I dropped my pencil on the floor, and I couldn't reach it. I asked the student next to me, in a whisper, to pick it up and hand it to me. The teacher heard me and came over and seemed angry, even though I explained it to her. There was no way to complete the assignment without a pencil, after all. After that, she could eat dirt for all I cared. I did not like her because I didn't see any alternative - being 7 and all.

In sixth grade, I didn't like the teacher because after the first week of school, she promoted me and a friend of mine to highest math and reading groups. Okay, I agreed with that decision. Then she said we'd have to either sink or swim, it was up to us. I was so mad I could have spit venom at her. How dare she even consider that I would sink! I still feel that way - that I don't sink... period. So no teacher should even suggest that is a possibility.

She topped off that evil statement by making me write (often throughout the school year) 100 times that "I shall not talk in class". What a waste of time that was! I still talked in class.

She and my two favorite teachers (3rd and 5th grades) are the only elementary school teachers whose names I remember.
 
Naturally said:
Finding out quicksand was NOT going to be a regular life hazard like cartoons promised. I spent my entire childhood watching cartoons, learning to recognize it and prepare for it. Never once needed the training.
Click to expand...
Me too. And to top it off, I read recently that people don't actually sink far down enough not to be able to breathe. Whether that is true or not, I've never been near quicksand, so all that learning was for naught.
 
My 4th Grade Teacher Miss Metz at South Ward Elementary School in Clearwater Florida. She took an instant dislike of me for no reason whatsoever. I swear that woman was a psychopath. I was a shy quiet kid who never made any trouble but she forced me to sit next to her every day in the lunch room. I asked my mother to talk to her about it and ask her why. So she did and she told me that the teacher had said she made me sit next to her because I had been a "trouble maker" which was a bald faced lie. There was a lot of other stuff where she singled me out for "special treatment" which amounted to humilation but I won't go into that.

South Ward is a historic site now. But for me it's just bad memories.

Editorial: Second life as museum preserves historic South Ward Elementary



Fortunately I was only there for part of the school year before my mother decided to move to New Jersey where she was from originally and I got to go to another school with a normal teacher.
 
Last edited:
The summer I was 10 was the first year I went to Girl Scout camp. I was so excited because I'd won a "campership" (like a scholarship) so it didn't cost anything to go.

My friend and I went together, and her parents drove us there. It was only a week, and her parents came to pick her up at the end of the week, while my dad said he'd fetch me.

He forgot. A counselor who lived in my hometown took me back.

My heart was broken. I felt invisible.

ETA: I just remembered that at mail call, every camper got mail. I got one letter mid-week. My mother wrote to tell me that my canary died. He'd been a Christmas gift. That news couldn't have waited until I got home?
 
Last edited:
IrishEyes said:
I nearly killed my sister over her doing this and the mess she made. Mom came in from the neighbors just
as I had my sister down and kicking her. I got grounded another month (justifiably). Once I cooled down
I was shocked and disappointed at myself that another person could effect me so strongly that I could do that.
That is why I refuse to this day to react of someone taunting me to rile me, upset me and refuse to discuss things in anger.
The hurt and disappoint is not worth letting someone change who I am for their selfish evil motives.
Click to expand...
I love that.

I've been there. It was a totally different situation, and I was already a grown man who'd seriously injured an innocent one, and that put me at a crossroad where I had to pick a lane; start using my brain and be reasonable, or keep using my fists and be in and out of jail.

Sounds like an easy choice...
 
Naturally said:
Cartoons made quicksand seem like instant death.
Turns out it’s a waist-deep problem solved by calm people in blue helmets.
My childhood was a lie !!! The disappointment continues. Shoot
Click to expand...
so do you think if you sink into quicksand when you're all alone, and within minutes your blood pressure goes sky high, and you're blood supply to your heart is being cut off , that little men in blue hats will rescue you ?
 
hollydolly said:
so do you think if you sink into quicksand when you're all alone, and within minutes your blood pressure goes sky high, and you're blood supply to your heart is being cut off , that little men in blue hats will rescue you ?
Click to expand...

Well, alone in quicksand, blood pressure skyrocketing, heart screaming, arms flailing wildly … I hope the little men in blue hats don't politely decline and file it under 'not our circus.' Probably wouldn’t get very many YouTube subscribes 🤷‍♂️
 
Naturally said:
Well, alone in quicksand, blood pressure skyrocketing, heart screaming, arms flailing wildly … I hope the little men in blue hats don't politely decline and file it under 'not our circus.' Probably wouldn’t get very many YouTube subscribes 🤷‍♂️
Click to expand...
well never mind... before you put your dream into room 101... perhaps you might go and try it for yourself... and film it for us, here on the forum...
 
WheatenLover said:
Me too. And to top it off, I read recently that people don't actually sink far down enough not to be able to breathe. Whether that is true or not, I've never been near quicksand, so all that learning was for naught.
Click to expand...
I don’t know if I can explain it right or not but I remember quicksand and it is basically where you have a more stable surface on top and where spring water softens the sand or muck below.
I am seeing this a lot lately where people are saying that they are disappointed that quick sand isn’t real because it is and it was so long ago that I don’t remember a lot about it except that the the surface looked solid but the next thing I knew I was sinking down.
I don’t remember how I got out of it but I think that I was close to something I crawled out on.
Just seems like people must have lived very sheltered lives or not had much of an interest in the outdoors if they never encountered quick sand.
I do know that what I stepped into wasn’t like what you see in the movies where there was a big expanse of sand and the quick sand was in the middle of it.
I’m sure it happened more than once along the edge of a swamp or creek.
I don’t know if you would call it quick sand or just a hole that I stepped into while hunting in a swamp but one step while walking through bulrushes and I went down waist deep.
A person has to keep their wits like when I stepped into a deeper hole in a river and my waders filled with water.
I realized as I walked out into shallower water that the water in my waders got heavier because it weighed the same as water around it but once out of the water around them they got heavy.
As I reached shore I had to lay over and let the water in the waders drain out or they would have been too heavy for me to climb out.
 
Last edited:
GP44 said:
I don’t know if I can explain it right or not but I remember quicksand and it is basically where you have a more stable surface on top and where spring water softens the sand or muck below.
I am seeing this a lot lately where people are saying that they are disappointed that quick sand isn’t real because it is and it was so long ago that I don’t remember a lot about it except that the the surface looked solid but the next thing I knew I was sinking down.
I don’t remember how I got out of it but I think that I was close to something I crawled out on.
Just seems like people must have lived very sheltered lives or not had much of an interest in the outdoors if they never encountered quick sand.
I do know that what I stepped into wasn’t like what you see in the movies where there was a big expanse of sand and the quick sand was in the middle of it.
I’m sure it happened more than once along the edge of a swamp or creek.
I don’t know if you would call it quick sand or just a hole that I stepped into while hunting in a swamp but one step while walking through bulrushes and I went down waist deep.
A person has to keep their wits like when I stepped into a deeper hole in a river and my waders filled with water.
I realized as I walked out into shallower water that the water in my waders got heavier because it weighed the same as water around it but once out of the water around them they got heavy.
As I reached shore I had to lay over and let the water in the waders drain out or they would have been too heavy for me to climb out.
Click to expand...
as it said in the video I posted.. the problem with quicksand is that it doesn't remain in the same place.. it keeps moving.. so you can't avoid it by previosuly being aware of where it was last time you encountered it..or being forewarned of a speficic area...
 
I was in the 2nd grade, and we had just finished a test. There was a groove in my desk (very small), and while I waited for the teacher to collect our papers, I was running my pencil point back and forth in this groove out of boredom. Well, she came up behind me and clobbered me one for defacing school property. I had not caused that groove, and soap and water would have removed the pencil marks. We had a terrible fight and my father was called to school. I was still called out for it and was furious.

I have never forgotten the name of this teacher, Miss Emmett. We had crossed each other later on and again my dad was called to school. Again, I had to put up with the embarrassment of taking the blame. I didn't speak to my father for some time after that.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top