Regrets & Dreams... and Definition of "Old"

[CallMeKate]

I saw a John Barrymore quote yesterday that got me thinking.
"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." — John Barrymore

Obviously it's talking about mentally "old"... and it makes sense. I hope I never get "old" if it means giving up hopes, plans, & dreams. If regret is all that's left, what a sad existence that would be!

And that reminds me of another quote... lines from John Greenleaf Whittier's Maud Muller:
For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: "It might have been!"

Anyone want to weigh in? Is there a point at which having hopes and dreams becomes senseless? I sure hope not!

 

[Aunt Bea]

I still have hopes and dreams.

No real regrets but as I’ve gotten older it has been a bit sad to let go of a few dreams that I realize will never come true.

 

[horseless carriage]

A person who has a lot of mileage but still runs on premium fuel might be considered old. You will often hear the remark: "Over the hill," but you know that you are still picking up speed.
Wisdom is how to deal with regrets, problem is to get to be old and wise, you first have to be young and stupid. Age is a very high price indeed to pay for maturity and wisdom.
Shakespeare, although he died at a mere 52, he got the perspective of old age:
Cleopatra: "Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety" shows beauty beyond youth.
The old servant Adam proves that age can bring strength, and characters like Prospero in The Tempest finds wisdom.
Some characters, like Gratiano, advocate for facing aging with joy: "With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come."
I can empathise with Gratiano.

 

[CallMeKate]

No real regrets but as I’ve gotten older it has been a bit sad to let go of a few dreams that I realize will never come true.

Yes, very true. It was a few years ago that I realized I was never going to go cross-country in an RV which had always been my dream. But I'm okay with it.

 

[GoodEnuff]

The problem with experiencing all your dreams is that you run out of dreams. I have done everything that I ever wanted. Once this fixer-upper house is finished, if it is ever finished, I have no idea what I will do. Take flying lessons? Meh.

 

[Gardenlover]

Dreams? I always seem to have one on the old workbench, a couple in my pocket, and many more in my heart.

Regrets always seem to come knocking just before dawn.

 

[MACKTEXAS]

It's okay to have regrets as long as we don't let them define us, and use them instead as motivation for change. Having something to look forward to is also important - it can be a time we set aside for some small joy(s) - or planning something significant like a vacation.

 

[Beezer]

One of my top favorite quotes...

"The first step you never take, will be the longest journey you'll ever have."

To me this speaks to procrastination...and it's a push to put your dreams into action.

 

[Ronni]

One of my top favorite quotes...

"The first step you never take, will be the longest journey you'll ever have."

To me this speaks to procrastination...and it's a push to put your dreams into action.

This reminds me of the Chinese proverb “The longest journey begins with the first step”

I think, as we age, that first step becomes even more important than completing the journey. It shows that we’re still striving, still forward facing and reaching out to our future, whether we ever get there or not.

Some of the saddest seniors I know are those who live in the past. It’s not regret that keeps them there. It’s a life that used to be well lived, but now with advancing age and declining health and the consequent barriers, those same activities are no longer possible.

So rather than taking a new step in a different direction, they face backwards and re-live the life the used to have, the way it used to be.

It’s my hope as I age that no matter what barriers i face I will continue to face forward and take that first step into my future for as long as I’m alive.

 

[KSav]

I saw a John Barrymore quote yesterday that got me thinking.
"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." — John Barrymore

I guess I'm old, then.

 

[IrishEyes]

Some of the saddest seniors I know are those who live in the past.

Boy do I agree with this!
I guess the past is in a sense the "comfort zone" for some.
No surprises, no risk and you can paint it any color you want.

What I hate about that term "living in the past" is it gets slanted from the person using it.
Bringing up the past does not always mean you LIVE in it as I see some of my younger
family meaning it just because I am 2 generations ahead of them.
But yet, they can recall memories but that is not living in the past because they are not OLD.

 

[Ronni]

What I hate about that term "living in the past" is it gets slanted from the person using it.
Bringing up the past does not always mean you LIVE in it as I see some of my younger
family meaning it just because I am 2 generations ahead of them.
But yet, they can recall memories but that is not living in the past because they are not OLD.

Yeah I’m glad you brought that up. I think it quickly becomes obvious through context whether we’re dwelling in the past or simply bringing up fond memories. Context being how we’re living life in the present. Are we forward facing? Making plans or engaging in activities that reach out toward the future?

The kids and I are always bringing up memories from the past. But they also see and hear me talking about future stuff, the next trip, painting the house, taking lessons in this or that, etc so it’s obvious I’m not dwelling in past stuff.

 

[Imogene]

Before I even knew the phrase “ don’t look back unless you plan on going there “ by Henry David Theroux existed, I never did look back in terms of dwelling on the past.

Yes, I like to look back and reminisce, but that is not the same as dwelling on what is past.

I wake up every day giving thanks for the fact that I did wake up and I have something to look forward to. Perhaps that is part of the issue with many elderly folks. They wake up thinking they have nothing to look forward to.

We all have to find that one thing that keeps us looking forward. Some of us are in better physical and mental health than others. I don’t know what the answer is for those who have always lived in a dark place and continue to live in a dark place as they age.

That’s another thing I give thanks for —— being born bright & happy and having a childhood that, while very poor, was not even remotely abusive. I imagine being one lucky kid in that regard has had a profound effect on my adult outlook on life.

“ tomorrow will be better” is what I try to subscribe to on the darker days

 

[OldFeller]

As long as we have someone in our lives who is genuinely impressed by what we do, we continue to believe we can do anything we dream up. Once the person dies, then so does the desire to have dreams and fulfill them.

We are then laid bare to the reality of life and are forced to take life on its own terms.

Without illusions life is pretty unfulfilling.

But the past reminds us that there was a time when we felt unstoppable. When it never crossed our minds that one day we just end up helpless.

Regets are also an illusion.
You only live the life you know and refer to now as the past. There were reasons at the time why you didn't take risks or another path in life.

Things happen for a reason.

 

[Jules]

I will be renewing my passport. There’s places to go, just not as exotic.

 

[RambleTamble]

I've spent a lot of time over the years trying to understand why I am the way I am, and that quest has kept me going to some extent. But now, at the ripe old age of 67... or am I 68?... 68!, I think I finally have a pretty good grasp of what happened.

 

[Jules]

Recently I realized I likely have a limited number of times to be with my children. They live on the other side of the country and visits are only once a year. That was a harsh reality of aging.