Have you any family members you have no contact with?

Bretrick

Bretrick

Well-known Member
Location
Perth Western Australia
Is it your choice or theirs?
I have not spoken to my Mother for at least 40 years and do not know if she is still living.
Unfortunately she beat her children without mercy before leaving. She left when I was 7.
I went to see her when I was 19? and asked why such brutal beatings and she had no satisfactory answer.
I have 4 siblings, all of whom fled Tasmania because of the sad home situation.
I have no idea where two of them are.
One died of alcohol induced injuries aged 32.
I tracked down the whereabouts of my younger brother whom I last spoke to in 1995.
His phone number was in my mobile for over two years before I finally rang.
That was maybe 4 years ago.
Got an automated answering machine with no owner's name. Left a message, never heard anything.
Lost that opportunity. Not going to try again.
 

Ruthanne said:
Well I didn't have contact with my sister for years but that has changed as of this year. We seem to get along better now. I'm glad for us having contact again šŸ˜€
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Ditto! I did not have any contact with my brother until a few months ago. Now we get along really well. We contact each other often. Iā€™m really glad. My choice for both ways. I really like getting along with ALL family members.
 
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I have a few. Some cousins and 2 nephews (my brother's sons). No real fight with them or anything. Just time and distance. My one nephew didn't really care for me so much after my husband divorced me and I did not have a lot of money anymore. He only cared about what I could give or do for him. My brother doesn't even see him.
 
Most of them, no problems or issues simply no effort on anyoneā€™s part to make the first move.

I stay in contact with my sister, one of my nieces, and a couple of cousins through Facebook.

Itā€™s about the same with friends and acquaintances, no issues and little effort on anyoneā€™s part.

I think that in my case itā€™s just a natural part of getting older.
 
Yes. I'm in contact with my two sons but no-one else. My daughter had a tarot reading done and was told to cut her mother out of her life. She hasn't spoken to me since even though there were no grounds for estrangement. I've lost touch with all my brothers, cousins and everyone else. Not by choice, some families are no good at writing letters and I've moved so many times I don't think anyone knows my current address.
 
I have no contact with any family members. It was a sorry excuse for a family, so that's to be expected. Only one immediate family member is still alive -- a sibling -- and I'd rather have a root canal than spend a minute with her. I have some cousins, and they're great people with families and successful careers. I'd feel like an outcast if I were around them.
 
Lavinia said:
Yes. I'm in contact with my two sons but no-one else. My daughter had a tarot reading done and was told to cut her mother out of her life. She hasn't spoken to me since even though there were no grounds for estrangement. I've lost touch with all my brothers, cousins and everyone else. Not by choice, some families are no good at writing letters and I've moved so many times I don't think anyone knows my current address.
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Lavinia ?..what ?... A Tarot reading, and she cut you out of her life ?... good lord... that must sting badly ... :(
 
My cousins and their families in Tasmania and Canada and my uncle in America. I have seen him when he visited. It's the brother of my dad and he looks just like him. No fights or anything. They just live too far away. 3 cousins in Germany. Used to see them when our grandpa was still alive. Not anymore. My aunt always threw family parties for my mom's side of the family, but since she died nobody does any effort except on Facebook. I befriended 4 of them on Facebook and like their pics.
 
My kids have no contact with their grandmother. I befriended her on Facebook once when she asked. Later she unfriended me. Guess she wanted to see pics from her grandkids. I don't talk to her though because I don't want to go behind my ex's back. He just protects the kids. I never saw my grandpa as a kid cause my dad protected us, but later we got into contact. His mother beat him up with fishing gear as a kid, but he forgave her and years ago he took the kids there to try to get normal contact again.

Eldest was 3 years old. He still remembers she said to them: Your dad is crazy and he thought: Huh? Daddy is normal to me. Lol and she didn't want a toddler drawing cause it wasn't drawn well enough. It's sad though. She's old fashioned bossy, Indonesian old style. An Indonesian guy told me it's family trauma. They all beat each other up. They have to come to her and bow down. He even did and that wasn't good enough.

I won't call Bert on him. Bert is from the evangelical broadcast tv family dinner. He always goes to people like that to try fix things and sometimes it works, but not always. He's so funny. He worms himself in the house. No I don't want contact! And it very often ends with them hugging after 18 years no contact and saying sorry oh never mind it was nothing lol.
 
I've posted before about my estranged daughter - I have no current phone or address for her. Our relationship was rocky for many years, but she did call now and then. Her last called was in May, 2024, and it went okay, but then no more calls. She's never waited this long. I've unsuccessfully exhausted all resources in trying to find out what happened, and I don't believe I will ever know.
 
My sister next in line younger than me.
My youngest sister lives in her rental home so they are in daily contact.
I hear how both are doing.
Youngest is the go between for news and this arrangement suits us fine.
We care about each other, you just can't put us in the same room together, we tried it many times.
We respect and agree to this arrangement mutually.
 
My mother left the family when I was 16 and moved over 1,000 miles away to another state. I only saw her a couple of times after that. I felt like she hated me and that it was my fault she was so unhappy -- so much so that I thought there was literally something wrong with me that was causing her to act the way she did. I actually lived my entire childhood and much of my adult life thinking there was something wrong with me. It's no wonder I abused drugs and alcohol to ease the pain.

One of these days, I'm going to feed my parents' characteristics into an AI bot and find out what the %$#@! was wrong with them to cause them to be such %$#@!s. Maybe that will help me deal with it.
 

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