Moving in With Your Children

Jules

Jules

SF VIP
Do you think you should be able to move in with your children?

If they had financial problems would you suggest moving in with them.

Could a granny flat work for you.

Would you make a significant move to be close to them.

Would you be offended if they said no.
 

Jules said:
Do you think you should be able to move in with your children?

If they had financial problems would you suggest moving in with them.

Could a granny flat work for you.

Would you make a significant move to be close to them.

Would you be offended if they said no.
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Should? Not at all..

I would never suggest I move in with them.

I suppose it could, but they would have to move into a place that had one, and I would have to want to move to that area..

No, as they can just move away (that has happened to friends)

I would not be offended... but then, I would not ask to move in.
 

When my daughter divorced her husband maybe 10 years ago, her and her two sons came to stay with us for the next 18 months. My wife and I was fine with that. I never asked for a dime, even though she offered. She wanted to work and save to buy her home. I told her we would loan her the money, but she didn’t want it that way. The boys were 17 and 9 years of age. It made everything very easy. We enjoyed having them here and I really missed the boys when they moved out. I felt like an empty nester again.
 
Jules said:
Do you think you should be able to move in with your children?
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Yes. My grandmother in with my parents when she turned 90. They would have been welcome with me when they got too old to live alone.
Jules said:
If they had financial problems would you suggest moving in with them.
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Yes, if I thought it would help them.
Jules said:
Could a granny flat work for you.
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Yes.
Jules said:
Would you make a significant move to be close to them.
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Yes.
Jules said:
Would you be offended if they said no.
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Yes. I wouldn't be asking unless it was homelessness or them, so yes, it would hurt my feelings to be told, "no."
 
Moving in is a big step. I think a granny flat is the best middle ground because everyone still gets their own space and privacy. It's a great way to help them out with bills or childcare without feeling like you're constantly under each other's feet.

If they said no, I'd probably feel a bit hurt at first, but I'd respect it. Everyone has their own routine and living together can be a lot of pressure on a relationship.
 
I would live in a granny flat....not in the same house but on the same property as my daughter..in a heartbeat....

I would have her living back here in a heartbeat..if money was an issue..in fact even if money wasn't an issue.....but fortunately it''s not an issue...

Some years ago... my dd said .. when you get old mum, I suppose I'll need to build a granny flat for you onto my house....she said in a semi joking manner..

I was probably in my 50's at the time..when we were both young and fit... ( she's still fit , I'm not so much...) and I don't really think she was imagining me getting old IYSWIM .. and now at almost 71.. it's more of a reality for her .. and she's never mentioned it again in the last 5 years..
 
I’d never ask to move in with my kids, because I wouldn’t want to live with them. They need to have their own marriages.

I’m not even sure I could live in a granny suite. They would probably feel too free to offer their opinions on too many topics. I’d also be biting my tongue.

At bridge one day a lady said she was going to move in with her daughter’s family. She wasn’t asking, she was just going to tell them and that was that. I don’t know if it ever happened.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I would rather live with a stranger than a relative, too much baggage, power dynamics, etc…

I admire those that can and do make it work.
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My brother lives with my mother, but both are super easy going.

I read books from Corrie ten Boom who was born in 1892. She and her sister kept living at home, a small home. 3 aunts lived there, unmarried sisters from her mother. 4 kids including her. Later foster kids.

One aunt was always grumpy and compared them to the kids Waller who she had looked after, who were better behaved and better in anything. Lol when it upset her as a kid her mom just said: ah she doesn't mean it. She's just a bit bitter. Oh my goodness. Can you imagine anyone doing that these days?

My mom stayed with her eldest sister at 12 to help with her kids and household. They lived with her husband's dad in his farm, so he was the boss and the husband didn't dare to stand up against him. When she laughed he threw a Bible text at her that she'd stop laughing. He checked if the food got cooked good enough. Fun times.
 
^^ I think always living at home would be different t o moving in later - you would have got used to each other as you went along not be trying to adjust later

I dont think I would be good at living with anyone else now, except my own husband

Living i n a granny flat or unit nearby could work - yo u have enough separation to do your own thing whilst still being close.
 

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