Things that offend veterans

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Rider77

Member
When I returned from Vietnam I hadn't driven a car for about a year and a half. For that reason I needed to obtain insurance when a bought a car after my discharge from the service. The agent asked why I was without insurance. My answer that I had just gotten home from Vietnam was met with a strange comment and unexpected respones. She looked at me and said, "Oh yes I can see that in your eyes".

To this day many decades later I feel insulted by her comment. There wasn't any Thank you for your service. What was she seeing in my eyes? Was it a baby killer, a murderer, or the blood gore and guts of the battlefield? I'm glad the atmosphere is better now for our returning service men and women, but I wonder if those who projected their negative views fifty years ago realize the impact they imparted on us.
 

well look at it this way to serve in the USA forces I assume you need to be a bonafide citizen of the USA - whereas those who live there without citizenship I assume would not be permitted to serve in the forces?? I agree with the Lin PA - it is possible to read an awful lot in peoples eyes and faces
 

That Lady in PA said:
I know exactly what they meant! My cousin‘s eyes… He had a haunted look when he came Nam.
I don’t think an insult was intended.
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I agree, my cousin had a similar look when he returned from Vietnam.

He was a Mortuary Affairs Specialist, it changed his life and the lives of those closest to him forever.

IMO there is great value in maintaining a few relationships with people that have served and may share similar experiences that only they are qualified to discuss and understand.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I agree, my cousin had a similar look when he returned from Vietnam.

He was a Mortuary Affairs Specialist, it changed his life and the lives of those closest to him forever.

IMO there is great value in maintaining a few relationships with people that have served and may share similar experiences that only they are qualified to discuss and understand.
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it's an honour to do so and we owe them that honour!
 
I would hope anyone who had some one they cared or loved who came back from any war zone would
just pay more attention to just being happy they made it home and just help them get used to civilian life again.

I had a HS friend who came home with a colostomy bag so he wore his memories daily. We never mentioned it
once we knew about it and he spent his "need to get away from his family" time with us. A bit overkill on them
helping him take care of himself.

Do unto others, doesn't mean you have to make people "aware" of anything.
 
Rider77 said:
When I returned from Vietnam I hadn't driven a car for about a year and a half. For that reason I needed to obtain insurance when a bought a car after my discharge from the service. The agent asked why I was without insurance. My answer that I had just gotten home from Vietnam was met with a strange comment and unexpected respones. She looked at me and said, "Oh yes I can see that in your eyes".

To this day many decades later I feel insulted by her comment. There wasn't any Thank you for your service. What was she seeing in my eyes? Was it a baby killer, a murderer, or the blood gore and guts of the battlefield? I'm glad the atmosphere is better now for our returning service men and women, but I wonder if those who projected their negative views fifty years ago realize the impact they imparted on us.
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I'm sorry to hear about your experience.
And I'm sorry that it continues... I will be praying for you.
 
I was dating age when Vietnam vets began to return and dated a few. I remember thinking there was something different about them and agree they had a haunted aura about them. I empathized with them and felt sorry for what they’d experienced in a war that was unlike any America previously fought.

I don’t think the woman who made the remark to you meant any thing negative towards you ( I wasn’t present though so who knows). I do think women are more likely to pick up on others energy.

I married a Vietnam vet who was drafted into the war.

I think the often negative experience Vietnam vets faced on returning has since been reflected upon by citizens making the acknowledgment present day vets receive more positive. So even from that painful experience something positive may be seen.

Let me take this opportunity to sincerely thank you for your service to America and our democracy.
 
smiley said:
well look at it this way to serve in the USA forces I assume you need to be a bonafide citizen of the USA - whereas those who live there without citizenship I assume would not be permitted to serve in the forces?? I agree with the Lin PA - it is possible to read an awful lot in peoples eyes and faces
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I'm not sure if it's still true, but non-citizens ( but with a green card) could serve in the armed forces. It was a "short-cut" to citizenship. I knew one person who did that; he served with my late husband.

In the early days of WWII, before the US entered the war, a lot of flyers served with the Canadian, British and Australian Air Forces. When the US entered, they were required to join the American armed forces.
 
Rider77 said:
When I returned from Vietnam I hadn't driven a car for about a year and a half. For that reason I needed to obtain insurance when a bought a car after my discharge from the service. The agent asked why I was without insurance. My answer that I had just gotten home from Vietnam was met with a strange comment and unexpected respones. She looked at me and said, "Oh yes I can see that in your eyes".

To this day many decades later I feel insulted by her comment. There wasn't any Thank you for your service. What was she seeing in my eyes? Was it a baby killer, a murderer, or the blood gore and guts of the battlefield? I'm glad the atmosphere is better now for our returning service men and women, but I wonder if those who projected their negative views fifty years ago realize the impact they imparted on us.
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or perhaps seeing something like being haunted by experiences you would never forget?

That's what I picked up on from my brother when he came home...
 
In the ancient epic story/poem of the Odyssey by Homer, he tells of the incredible adventures of a warrior's struggles both in battle and eventually within. We learn along the way that monsters are more than physical.

The soldier who leaves for war is seldom the one who returns. When you are on a mission, you don't have the luxury of sorting out right or wrong, or choices. You are thrust into a situation where you have to bury your feelings and summon up an emotional numbness.

With Odysseus, the battle doesn't end when he returns to Ithica, because home has changed and he has changed. Coming to grips with all the consequences of war is heavy. It's not like being victorious at a football game.

How do you integrate that changed person back into the world that everyone else is living in? How do you leave chaos behind? The long journey home is not an easy one for most.
 
My late husband served in Nam in the mid-60's. He rarely spoke of it and when he did it was usually a "funny" story.

The "thank you for your service" phrase didn't begin until after 9/11. I asked him one time if he felt insulted by it because our Nam Vets certainly never received ANY thanks when they returned. He didn't answer my question.

IMHO, it is Too Little, Too Late.
 
GoodEnuff said:
My late husband served in Nam in the mid-60's. He rarely spoke of it and when he did it was usually a "funny" story.

The "thank you for your service" phrase didn't begin until after 9/11. I asked him one time if he felt insulted by it because our Nam Vets certainly never received ANY thanks when they returned. He didn't answer my question.

IMHO, it is Too Little, Too Late.
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My cousin does NOT like when someone thanks him for his service. He tells them... if you had any idea what I saw and did over there, you would not be saying that.
 
Nathan said:
Family and friends didn't understand, they acted like I just got back from a camping trip.
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Like I've said many times before I was an Air Force REMF. (Rear Echelon Mother$%&*&%)) so my time over there was kind of like a camping trip.
I have to say a part of me feels guilty for having taken the safe way of joining the Air Force. I did that after I got my notivce to report for induction from my darft board. So they had to do down to the next poor dude on their list to fill their quota for that month. I sometimes wonder what happened to him.

But it was the lack of respect from people after I got back that bothered me. The worst was the reception I got from the old WW2 vets when I walked into the local VFW. They didn't want anything to do with someone coming back from a war we lost.

And then there was getting turned down at job interview after job interview by non veterans. I begin to feel like I would have fared better in my job hunt if I had put that I had been in prison for those for 4 years on my resume instead of the Air Force. I finally got on with the Florida Department of Transportation because the guy that hired me was retired Navy and had done two tours in Nam as a Seabee.

Times have changed and these days it has become quite fashionable to be a Vietnam Veteran. Which brings me to another thing that I find offensive. About half the dudes claiming to be Vietnam Veterans never set foot in country.
 
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jujube said:
I'm not sure if it's still true, but non-citizens ( but with a green card) could serve in the armed forces. It was a "short-cut" to citizenship. I knew one person who did that; he served with my late husband.

In the early days of WWII, before the US entered the war, a lot of flyers served with the Canadian, British and Australian Air Forces. When the US entered, they were required to join the American armed forces.
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I've heard that as well, but like you I don't know if it still applies. It seems reasonable to me if all elements of character and background are acceptable.
 

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