Motto and vow of introverts

M

Marv Malone

New Member
Location
midwest USA
My motto is when in doubt----don't reach out.
In person, email, phone, or online. Misanthropic yes, but
You won't be disappointed when someone doesn't answer or respond to you
whenever. No letdowns, wasted time. Alone and indifferent. Exceptions permitted.
You might not want to reach out even if you're not in doubt.
Spontaneous talk is alright.
Extraverts, ignore this.
Agree....
 

Marv Malone said:
My motto is when in doubt----don't reach out.
In person, email, phone, or online. Misanthropic yes, but
You won't be disappointed when someone doesn't answer or respond to you
whenever.
Click to expand...
Disagree, I don't reach out for fear that someone may answer, and then they'll want to talk, or even worse think we should get together for a visit!
 

Marv Malone said:
My motto is when in doubt----don't reach out.
In person, email, phone, or online. Misanthropic yes, but
You won't be disappointed when someone doesn't answer or respond to you
whenever. No letdowns, wasted time. Alone and indifferent. Exceptions permitted.
You might not want to reach out even if you're not in doubt.
Spontaneous talk is alright.
Extraverts, ignore this.
Agree....
Click to expand...
Ah who cares if they don't respond.

In the time that I was desperate a guy put on his Facebook page that he was looking for someone and I responded and he ignored it. Then I was offended and responded with this lol.

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Marv Malone said:
My motto is when in doubt----don't reach out.
In person, email, phone, or online. Misanthropic yes, but
You won't be disappointed when someone doesn't answer or respond to you
whenever. No letdowns, wasted time. Alone and indifferent. Exceptions permitted.
You might not want to reach out even if you're not in doubt.
Spontaneous talk is alright.
Extraverts, ignore this.
Agree....
Click to expand...
Welcome, Marv Malone. I agree, with the exception that you can safely reach out in this forum. There are very smart, helpful people here.
But generally, I agree 'When in doubt, don't.'
 
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C50 said:
Disagree, I don't reach out for fear that someone may answer, and then they'll want to talk, or even worse think we should get together for a visit!
Click to expand...
I thought I was alone with my feelings about this. I've purposely let old friendships go because every single time I tried to be friendly or "reach out" (man, I dislike that phrase! 🥴) it was "we need to have a girls night!" or "we should get the old gang together" etc. etc. I got tired of making excuses because I'm totally not interested in a full social schedule. (Or even an empty one!) 🤷‍♀️
 
CallMeKate said:
I thought I was alone with my feelings about this. I've purposely let old friendships go because every single time I tried to be friendly or "reach out" (man, I dislike that phrase! 🥴) it was "we need to have a girls night!" or "we should get the old gang together" etc. etc. I got tired of making excuses because I'm totally not interested in a full social schedule. (Or even an empty one!) 🤷‍♀️
Click to expand...
My sister is the only social one from the family. She has friends she has had since highschool. A whole friendgroup, also from her husband's school, and all these couples regularly hang out and they all do effort for it. I have one friend from highschool who is just as uninterested as I am. We have lunch once a year since she works in the same building.
 
I think I'm pretty lucky in that I have a couple of groups of friends that I get together with. One is the group of guys that I go skeet shooting with. The other is a group that a friend of mine from many years ago started a few years ago. We bumped into each other a few times at the grocery store and she texted me to see if I would like to join. I came to find out that each of us has gone through a loss of loved ones recently. I also get together with some of my family most Sunday mornings for breakfast.
As far as "reaching out" goes all of the above people are pretty good at checking in to see how people are doing. I also get in touch with an old neighbour of mine who lost her husband a few years before my wife passed. She usually calls every couple of weeks or so just to talk and check in and let me know what is happening in her life.
 
I'm an introvert. I have a select few friends who used to be on my sales team. I try to stay in touch with them. They always reach out on birthdays or holidays and I do the same. The best of them is a divorced woman in her early 70s. We worked closely together for 9 years and are quite close. We catch up every couple of months. She is on a 50+ day cruise around the world right now and I see her posts on FB so I know she is enjoying herself. I know she will call me as soon as she returns to tell me all about her trip. We've spent time with her and another of my former salespeople in Seattle and they've visited us in Dallas.

We are also friends with a couple that we met on an Asia cruise in 2019. We have visited them in Palm Springs and San Francisco and have cruised with them to Alaska. Hubs is back at work now, but I will be cruising to Mexico with them in March. They are just such genuinely nice guys, I will pick up the phone anytime they call.

That's pretty much the extent of it and all the socialization I need, aside from just being out and about. I'll admit, I had to get used to living in Dallas after living in South Florida where no one speaks. I've found most people here are more than happy to fire up a conversation. That's all I need, then I can go home.
 
I have a small group of local friends whom I see on a weekly basis (well, as often as I can make it; sometimes my deadlines don't let me), but most of my interactions—with family back East, with my daughters—is through text or email. (I don't do social media.)

My local friends and I have a text group, but it's essentially limited to touching base about getting together for coffee and stuff like that. I used to occasionally share an interesting song or video, but I was met with radio silence so often that I stopped. I found other online outlets—here on SF being one of them—where people are more receptive to things like that.
 
BeefStu said:
I think I'm pretty lucky in that I have a couple of groups of friends that I get together with. One is the group of guys that I go skeet shooting with. The other is a group that a friend of mine from many years ago started a few years ago. We bumped into each other a few times at the grocery store and she texted me to see if I would like to join. I came to find out that each of us has gone through a loss of loved ones recently. I also get together with some of my family most Sunday mornings for breakfast.
As far as "reaching out" goes all of the above people are pretty good at checking in to see how people are doing. I also get in touch with an old neighbour of mine who lost her husband a few years before my wife passed. She usually calls every couple of weeks or so just to talk and check in and let me know what is happening in her life.
Click to expand...
Oh that's nice!
When I was married we would invite people who were single or widowed with Christmas and such, so they weren't so alone. We had loads of friends. Also couples. A lot from church. Since the divorce LOL I only hang out with my ex. All the friends are gone. We go out with Christmas with the kids.
 
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