Son in law is suffering.

[GP44]

He continued to smoke cigarettes even when he had a spot of cancer removed from his lung.
I know it was hard for him to have to go through the treatments that followed.
He has since quit smoking but I am afraid that it is too little and too late because he has gone from having to stop several times a day to bring his oxygen level up to now when he needs it constantly.
He told us that the portable unit he carries around with him doesn’t supply enough and that he has to gasp sometimes for more air.
My wife asked him why he doesn’t buy a unit that would supply what he needs and he said that those units cost over two thousand dollars.
We asked him a few things like could he carry a bottle with him for in case of an emergency and he says he has one.
Wife and I get the impression that he would rather suffer than to spend a couple of thousand that we know they can afford or that we would certainly provide rather than watch him suffer.
We know that either of us would give nearly anything to provide comfort if my wife or I were suffering.
Beside getting the feeling that we might be intruding on his life by stating our concerns
It is hard for us to understand his attitude.
I just wonder if it is a case of a desperate person making bad decisions.

 

[That Lady in PA]

I knew two men with almost identical situations.
Not wanted to spend the money, preferring to suffer.

One was in denial as to his situation.
The other failed to let anyone know how dire his medical situation was.

Both were dead within 6 months.

 

[oldman]

Spending money to stay alive is, or should be considered as a good investment.
Some people continue to make bad choices to kind of rebel against whatever the issue is.
It makes them feel as if they are in control.

 

[George1959]

Spending money to stay alive is, or should be considered as a good investment.

It is only a good investment if there is still some quality of life. If not, why spend the money? Only to prolong suffering?

 

[Pepper]

Very sad to hear about SIL. I understand. With my dying breath I would want a cigarette. SIL is not in his right mind concerning this. Smoker’s Mind Syndrome.

 

[dusty]

Fifty years ago I was called from central NYS (Here) to Annapolis, Md. by my father to care for my mother----COPD and still smoking. Couldn't care for herself...still puffin away. I left a great nursing job, my apt and essentially my life to do this. My father died 6 weeks later from a heart attack (56 yrs old) and 2.5 weeks later my mother died at 53 yrs. My mother had that last smoke on her deathbed.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not the least pissed off!

 

[josephine]

I think that’s very likely. You and your wife can keep showing that you care about him, but try to avoid sounding like you’re blaming him, because I don’t think he’s just being stubborn, kind of like my grandpa didn’t want to stay in the hospital in his later years.

 

[smiley]

addictive powers have been around since humans existed - sorta of built in safety and implosion device all in one! I I've worked with addicts for long periods - no good working against them ya can't win -different ideologies? giving up can be easy - staying up is another thing! [ some say it's all in the mind?]

 

[GP44]

I knew two men with almost identical situations.
Not wanted to spend the money, preferring to suffer.

One was in denial as to his situation.
The other failed to let anyone know how dire his medical situation was.

Both were dead within 6 months.

I think that the unit he has at home supplies more oxygen than the one he carries to our house about every Saturday.
He never complains but had bad coughing fits the last time.
Funny how an 81 year old guy with all of my ailments can worry so much about a guy who is about 15 years younger.
Just hope something starts working for him.