Was it abuse what my teacher did to me?

Sorry Roman – I am having difficulty understanding - your mother answered the phone knew it was your teacher and unless I am missing something, also knew that your teacher invited you, a 16 or 17 year old, to come and have some bottles (not one but bottles) of wine with her – why did she not think that was inappropriate and try to dissuade you from going? IMO it was very unprofessional behavior for the teacher to engage in.
 
astralcat said:
Sorry Roman – I am having difficulty understanding - your mother answered the phone knew it was your teacher and unless I am missing something, also knew that your teacher invited you, a 16 or 17 year old, to come and have some bottles (not one but bottles) of wine with her – why did she not think that was inappropriate and try to dissuade you from going? IMO it was very unprofessional behavior for the teacher to engage in.
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I don't know
 

roman gupta said:
I personally found it very flattering but it was very awkward to put it lightly, but in this brave new world that we are in do you consider the following abuse?

abuse?
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It's NEVER acceptable/appropriate for a teacher to have ANY personal relationship with a student, regardless of the student's age.

And, while it isn't clear where you're located, it's ALSO inappropriate (& illegal in most places) for an adult to provide alcohol to a minor.
 
Sunkist said:
It's NEVER acceptable/appropriate for a teacher to have ANY personal relationship with a student, regardless of the student's age.

And, while it isn't clear where you're located, it's ALSO inappropriate (& illegal in most places) for an adult to provide alcohol to a minor.
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I agree, just wondering if I am classed as abused?
 
roman gupta said:
I personally found it very flattering but it was very awkward to put it lightly, but in this brave new world that we are in do you consider the following abuse?

abuse?
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First, if that had happened with one of my children and I knew about it, the answer would have been no, and I would have had a talk with the teacher. At your age when it happened, in the US you would be breaking the law by drinking alcohol and the teacher would have been corrupting a minor, also against the law.

Second, if I didn't know about it and found out later, all h*ll would have broken loose. The child would have been safe; the teacher would wish she never knew me.

I don't consider it to be abuse. I consider it to be a serious breach of the teacher's duty toward his/her students. If you had been younger, I would consider it to be a crime and would have pursued charges against her, plus she would have been fired.
 
Well we know you're in the UK... and we also know that the age of consent in the UK is 16..... however if you were still at school, then that was Abuse, not illegal sex if you agreed to it... but certainly abuse of teacher and pupil relations

No teacher is allowed to have sex with their student..that's against the law!...

All that said..my husband said his first encounter was when he was 14 and an English teacher came onto him and he lost his virginity to this teacher .... and he thinks there was nothing wrong in it... while I was appalled at his story!
 
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WheatenLover said:
First, if that had happened with one of my children and I knew about it, the answer would have been no, and I would have had a talk with the teacher. At your age when it happened, in the US you would be breaking the law by drinking alcohol and the teacher would have been corrupting a minor, also against the law.

Second, if I didn't know about it and found out later, all h*ll would have broken loose. The child would have been safe; the teacher would wish she never knew me.

I don't consider it to be abuse. I consider it to be a serious breach of the teacher's duty toward his/her students. If you had been younger, I would consider it to be a crime and would have pursued charges against her, plus she would have been fired.
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I absolutely agree, I'm afraid that if a teacher had taken advantage ogmy 16/17 year old daughter..it wouldn't matter whether I discovered it at the time, or later.. that teacher would wish he'd never set eyes on my child...
oscash said:
Perhaps Matrix should check up on the roman gupta site as he appears to be under age and is not a senior.
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he is a senior. click on his link, he's ''live'' talking...he's in his 50's I believe
 
I was in my first couple of years of junior college, studying architecture, and I was getting straight A's so my professor knew me pretty well. He was one of the more respected professors. However, in Drafting class when I was sitting up on a stool he would come by to study my progress, get close to my face and pinch me on the side. There was something creepy about it. I hadn't come out as gay yet, so I was pretty naive and didn't object because I thought he just appreciated my dedication. Yes, I was NAIVE. Later I figured out that what he was doing wasn't light-hearted playfulness or appreciation at all. :(
 
roman gupta said:
I personally found it very flattering but it was very awkward to put it lightly, but in this brave new world that we are in do you consider the following abuse?

abuse?
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A bit late to be worrying about what happened all those years ago. If you think that you have been emotionally damaged, I recommend some counselling to help you get back on track.
 
WheatenLover said:
First, if that had happened with one of my children and I knew about it, the answer would have been no, and I would have had a talk with the teacher. At your age when it happened, in the US you would be breaking the law by drinking alcohol and the teacher would have been corrupting a minor, also against the law.

Second, if I didn't know about it and found out later, all h*ll would have broken loose. The child would have been safe; the teacher would wish she never knew me.

I don't consider it to be abuse. I consider it to be a serious breach of the teacher's duty toward his/her students. If you had been younger, I would consider it to be a crime and would have pursued charges against her, plus she would have been fired.
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Since he was 16, it would still be a crime because he is still a minor at that age.
 

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