Alone with no family at all...can anyone relate?

I find that lonely persons are lonely by choice - there are many groups to join ; churches offer a great repose - loneliness is a state of mind???????
 
smiley said:
I find that lonely persons are lonely by choice - there are many groups to join ; churches offer a great repose - loneliness is a state of mind???????
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I don't think that's always the case. I think that sometimes the area where one lives can cause loneliness. For example, if you were an outdoorsy type who only enjoyed hiking or something but had to live in a big city. Or as in my case the opposite: I live out in the boonies and wished I lived in the city with a million bookshops and busses so I could actually go places.

Also, there are a lot of churches here but I'm an atheist so have no desire to go to them; I'd rather be around a bunch of sciencey types who'd also enjoy talking about sociology, archaeology, just about any science. (Someone once told me that I was the type of person who'd be a lot happier living in or near a big city. I told her "Don't I know it.")
 
TeePee said:
That's a good idea hiring someone through an agency. I bet it could be done. The only problem is that it would probably cost an arm and a leg.
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I just used my smartphone and put in AI mode and ask regarding options for someone to go with you if you need surgery and you need them to stay. It will give you agencies that you can contact but it will cost you money.
 
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Well I'm trying to decide now whether to move into 55 plus community and pay rent or to stay in an apartment all by myself. I'm only 63 but maybe it beats living alone or will the people at the 55 plus facility be 80 and 90 years old?
 
Atory said:
Well I'm trying to decide now whether to move into 55 plus community and pay rent or to stay in an apartment all by myself. I'm only 63 but maybe it beats living alone or will the people at the 55 plus facility be 80 and 90 years old?
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I haven't done it but I've sure considered it. a 55+ is not an assisted living. I'm in my early 60s and I'd do it in a minute if you can! Life circumstances I have not been able to yet though.

I first found out about such running into people our age, one guy was against it and his wife talked him into it, then he loved it! It is more about no kids, not the noise, usually a fair amount of activities (if you want them), and no by 80, 90 they are only still there if they can manage on their own still. You are going to have people that manage pretty well imo around our age from 55 to a very active 70 for instance... Maybe older if in great shape. My mom is in early 80s and she could certainly do it.

You very likely won't have the same noisy neighbors. I'd love to find time to get into one and find one. I have a few things playing in right now that I can't. Just an example is I work and don't want to be too far from work. Things like that.

If you can, I'd suggest doing it. Anyone I've talked to once they moved into and got used to like such very well. Very active younger people 55 to 65 etc. It just ensure less children, less noise, but you can still have grandchildren visit and stay, just not living there, etc.
 
I believe in God, in a higher power. Nothing else makes sense to me.

However, I've seen so much hypocrisy in churches that I don't look for one or attend. Are there some good ones out there? Maybe. I'm just not going to go looking for them or finding out at this point in life, maybe only to find out they aren't so.

I can go back to my childhood church. Many a good person in it but the ones with the clout in it.... Uhm not so much.
 
AutumnGal said:
I haven't done it but I've sure considered it. a 55+ is not an assisted living. I'm in my early 60s and I'd do it in a minute if you can! Life circumstances I have not been able to yet though.

I first found out about such running into people our age, one guy was against it and his wife talked him into it, then he loved it! It is more about no kids, not the noise, usually a fair amount of activities (if you want them), and no by 80, 90 they are only still there if they can manage on their own still. You are going to have people that manage pretty well imo around our age from 55 to a very active 70 for instance... Maybe older if in great shape. My mom is in early 80s and she could certainly do it.

You very likely won't have the same noisy neighbors. I'd love to find time to get into one and find one. I have a few things playing in right now that I can't. Just an example is I work and don't want to be too far from work. Things like that.

If you can, I'd suggest doing it. Anyone I've talked to once they moved into and got used to like such very well. Very active younger people 55 to 65 etc. It just ensure less children, less noise, but you can still have grandchildren visit and stay, just not living there, etc.
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This sounds wonderful.
 
officerripley said:
Also, there are a lot of churches here but I'm an atheist so have no desire to go to them...
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Churches suited toward non-Christians do exist, as this one over in the UK.
 
OldOld said:
OldOld said:
It can be much lonelier in groups of people, or just one person, than being alone. This is well known fact. I was lonely among my annoying family. It is frustrating that others don't understand that. Many on this forum know what I mean. But yeah, some structured groups may alleviate it, but that doesn't last. It is basic psychology.
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OldOld said:
We all come to this world to learn the life lesso
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I have no living relatives. My Parents were in the mid 40's when I was born in 1946. Dad was 48, Mum was 42. Surprise baby. no siblings, I never had children. My first Wife died when she was hit by a drunk driver, while waiting for a bus here in Toronto. My second wife has 3 adult kids, and 3 adult Grand Children. JIMB>
 
smiley said:
I find that lonely persons are lonely by choice - there are many groups to join ; churches offer a great repose - loneliness is a state of mind???????
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Circumstances can play a huge role.

I can no longer drive at night. There goes my book club.
My church was taken over by a hostile group. No more monthly luncheons or other activitues. No more church at all.
Physical limitations. I can't navigate crowds or stand for long periods.
Deaths. I have lost all family members and several good friends.
Finances. Some opportunities require extra cash.
Covid. Groups shut down during Covid never returned,

I have not given up but it is not easy.
 
Babs2u said:
Circumstances can play a huge role.

I can no longer drive at night. There goes my book club.
My church was taken over by a hostile group. No more monthly luncheons or other activitues. No more church at all.
Physical limitations. I can't navigate crowds or stand for long periods.
Deaths. I have lost all family members and several good friends.
Finances. Some opportunities require extra cash.
Covid. Groups shut down during Covid never returned,

I have not given up but it is not easy.
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Almost exactly the same here. And people keep saying, "Well, you just have to keep trying." Welp, for instance, I contacted a book club that sounded good but I told them that the day they met (Sunday) was not good for me because I am transportation-challenged, that a week day would be better and did they ever get others interested in meeting weekdays. Their answer, "Nope. Sorry." (They're all young and still working so that's understandable that a Sunday or Saturday would be best for them.)

But every time I "keep trying", the answer I always get is "Nope. Sorry." And to those who might say, "Well start your own group then." After many years of trying really hard, I finally realized that I'm the kind of person who can never persuade anybody to join or do anything. I'm the anti-cheerleader, I guess.
 
officerripley said:
Almost exactly the same here. And people keep saying, "Well, you just have to keep trying." Welp, for instance, I contacted a book club that sounded good but I told them that the day they met (Sunday) was not good for me because I am transportation-challenged, that a week day would be better and did they ever get others interested in meeting weekdays. Their answer, "Nope. Sorry." (They're all young and still working so that's understandable that a Sunday or Saturday would be best for them.)

But every time I "keep trying", the answer I always get is "Nope. Sorry." And to those who might say, "Well start your own group then." After many years of trying really hard, I finally realized that I'm the kind of person who can never persuade anybody to join or do anything. I'm the anti-cheerleader, I guess.
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You might check with your public library. Most host and/or facilitate book clubs.
 
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