What can I do to solve this major problem?

WheatenLover

WheatenLover

Well-known Member
Location
Georgia
My son is bipolar, not medicated, having what I think are psychotic episodes. He lives in CA. He is homeless. His car was repossessed a few months ago.

He has been harassing and threatening a sibling about money. This sibling has a monetized X account with tens of thousands of followers.

Son has twice carried out threats to harm sibling's rep on X. Today Son posted on sibling's account that sib is a pedophile who has been harming my honorary grandchild who is 13.

Sib is horrified. He already gave son about $100K because he was afraid Son would kill himself or be killed.

Anyway, Sib has tried to get the police and mental health services to commit Son to a psych ward. This is something I wholeheartedly support. This story gets worse but would take forever to tell.

Son is homeless. We don't know where he is and cannot find out. We cannot go to LA to look for him because we can't afford it.

Does anyone have any ideas? I cannot think of anything we've left undone.

Sibling talked to our local police yesterday because Son is going to swat us if we don't pay him $2,000.

He is blocked on our phones and we are moving soon so Son can't find us. I am concerned he will eventually try to kill me. He absolutely hates me, which is part of his psychosis.

This came out years ago ...he told his bros that I gave them fetal alcohol syndrome which will kill them in a few years. He threatens and curses me if I don't do what he says.

I have spent a lot of $$ trying to save Son from himself. The man is literally a genius who is a wonderful person except for these psychotic episodes.
 
CallMeKate said:
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. But how could he possibly "come here" when you have a handle and are anonymous?
EDIT: I should add that I don't have any suggestions for you... hope someone does.
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There probably are no viable suggestions. But if there is even one, someone here will let me know.
 
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Like CalMeKate no advice. A few thoughts/questions though. And I also feel sorry for you to have to endure this situation.

This amount of money seems to me sib has the ability to consult an expert on the best course of action for all concerned.

Quote
"
Sib is horrified. He already gave son about $100K because he was afraid Son would kill himself or be killed."

Have you documented any of the threats?
Have you taken out a restraining order against him?

Have you consulted an expert on what your best course of action should be ?

Change your avatar
 
Knight said:
Like CalMeKate no advice. A few thoughts/questions though. And I also feel sorry for you to have to endure this situation.

This amount of money seems to me sib has the ability to consult an expert on the best course of action for all concerned.

Quote
"
Sib is horrified. He already gave son about $100K because he was afraid Son would kill himself or be killed."

Have you documented any of the threats?
Have you taken out a restraining order against him?

Have you consulted an expert on what your best course of action should be ?

Change your avatar
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That amount of money was given to him by me. He spent it trying to save his bro from suicide and homelessness.

I have documented the threats -- there are many texts and emails. No restraining order. My state has no jurisdiction over him. And we have no address for him.

I am an expert. There are no workable answers that I can think of.

I will change my avatar, but he'll guess by my user name.
 
WheatenLover said:
There probably are no viable suggestions. But if there is even one, someone here will let me know.

I have a handle. But IRL everyone knows that I love soft coated wheaten terriers. They would know that my avatar is a picture of my dog. They know my daughter knits. They know my dog steals her yarn as a funny prank (from his and my pov). And my family knows I come here.
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Easy fix, change your avatar.
 
WheatenLover said:
That amount of money was given to him by me. He spent it trying to save his bro from suicide and homelessness.

I have documented the threats -- there are many texts and emails. No restraining order. My state has no jurisdiction over him. And we have no address for him.

I am an expert. There are no workable answers that I can think of.

I will change my avatar, but he'll guess by my user name.
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You have really tried your best. Check with Matrix on how to remain an active member to change your user name
 
Dump any and all accounts that he could connect to, change your address where you live, and if you get a letter, send it back undeliverable. Stop talking on the internet. Period. Take down any and all ways to find you. Don't tell anyone just do it. If he knows where you are moving to, either change that or get a PO box. Tell no one a thing.

Get a protection order. It's just a pirce of paper, but cops will get him if he violates it. Get a gun, a small one just in case. I normally don't say that but I had to do it to stay safe from my son.

You asked for advice and these are all things I had to do for my safety from my son. I did get a small gun (Sig ) but I have always had them.

I don't know how serious he threatens ou but mine was extremely serious.
 
You must go deep underground. My son had guns and knives I found all over the house when he was a senior in HS and a year after. I would take them from their hiding places and they would be replaced right away in the same hiding places. I know what I am telling you to do is hard but if you really want to get away there are some of the things you mst do to protect yourself.

And changing you user name here to anything to do with 'wheat' will not work.

I am fairly safe now but I now where he is every day.
 
dusty said:
Dump any and all accounts that he could connect to, change your address where you live, and if you get a letter, send it back undeliverable. Stop talking on the internet. Period. Take down any and all ways to find you. Don't tell anyone just do it. If he knows where you are moving to, either change that or get a PO box. Tell no one a thing.

Get a protection order. It's just a pirce of paper, but cops will get him if he violates it. Get a gun, a small one just in case. I normally don't say that but I had to do it to stay safe from my son.

You asked for advice and these are all things I had to do for my safety from my son. I did get a small gun (Sig ) but I have always had them.

I don't know how serious he threatens ou but mine was extremely serious.
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I am moving and I don't change my address with the USPS. There aren't many ways to find me because I hired a company to make sure that ordinary people can't find me.

I am not going to get a gun. I can't tell you how many times I've been advised to do that in my life -- mostly by police officers. So far, haven't needed one. I will not shoot my son anyway. No way, no how. I would rather be dead than kill one of my children.

My son is having psychotic episodes. At least while he is homeless and without a car or money, he cannot visit me as I am across the country from him and will be moving soon.
 
@WheatenLover , It's distressing, sorry you've in this situation. If your son is homeless in L.A. and you're in Georgia, I see it as very unlikely that he'll find his way to you. You should still be vigilant, and take measures to protect yourself. I hate to say it, as a father, but maintaining no contact is a must. Eventually a bipolar, not medicated person will run afoul of the law, and will likely receive medication while in custody.

Prayers for you and your son. 🙏
 
What a terrible situation! My middle grandson is bipolar and has had psychotic episodes, but did not threaten or harm anyone when he had them. He seems to be more of a threat to himself. Normally he is the sweetest, most courteous person. Unfortunately, even when they go into a treatment program or even a mental institution, they are not kept there long enough for treatments to do any good.

I agree with @dusty that changing your avatar but keeping a screen name with "Wheat" in it is a dead giveaway of who you are. You say he's brilliant, well that wouldn't be hard to figure out. You say you are moving soon. Are those plans solidified or are you still in the "looking" phase? I wish the best for you and your family. This is a tough one. I think all we can offer is support when you need it.
 
gruntlabor said:
😟 He is a danger to those around him. It is your duty, if you can, to stop him.
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Yeah, well guess what. He actually did go to an ER once. The people there said he was homeless and just wanted a place to stay, and they kicked him out. I know, because I called that ER.

He has a couple of friends there who are keeping an eye on him and who are in frequent touch with my son who lives with me. These friends go are saints for putting up with him. He tried living with them, but got kicked out because he wanted their households to be gluten free. He has not been a danger to those around him. He is fixated on his brother and me because he thinks we have tons of money and he can divest us of it. We don't, mostly because of keeping him from being homeless and keeping him fed for the many years he has lived in CA. His other two siblings haven't had anything to do with him in many years.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
What a terrible situation! My middle grandson is bipolar and has had psychotic episodes, but did not threaten or harm anyone when he had them. He seems to be more of a threat to himself. Normally he is the sweetest, most courteous person. Unfortunately, even when they go into a treatment program or even a mental institution, they are not kept there long enough for treatments to do any good.

I agree with @dusty that changing your avatar but keeping a screen name with "Wheat" in it is a dead giveaway of who you are. You say he's brilliant, well that wouldn't be hard to figure out. You say you are moving soon. Are those plans solidified or are you still in the "looking" phase? I wish the best for you and your family. This is a tough one. I think all we can offer is support when you need it.
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Thank you. I am still looking for a place to rent. This month I'm looking for a single family home with a fenced yard because I need a dog. Next month, I'll switch to apartments that have a small dog allowed.
 
WheatenLover said:
I just realized something.Son could come here and start something so maybe you all could reply by PM?
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CallMeKate said:
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. But how could he possibly "come here" when you have a handle and are anonymous?
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WheatenLover said:
There probably are no viable suggestions. But if there is even one, someone here will let me know.
Click to expand...
WheatenLover said:
I will change my avatar, but he'll guess by my user name.
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I'm lost in all of this, especially the part about "come here" (as in coming to this forum) to read your posts. You can change your password and that part of the problem would be solved. As for the bigger picture, I don't know.
 
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