Looks like my step-daughter’s cancer is back.

Sheri was rushed to the emergency room last night. Her pain has been escalating over the last couple of days, and even the morphine prescription that her doctor called in for her yesterday wasn’t subduing it. It continued to escalate through the day and by last night she couldn’t function through the pain, was practically delirious with it.

She went to the emergency room, they determined that she should be admitted, and she was scanned and xrayed, and finally was given IV pain meds strong enough that she was able to relax. We’re waiting on the results now.

Her bones are so fragile from the cancer that I’m expecting to hear that she’s fractured something else. 😟

Ron of course rushed to her. Note that she lives all the way across town from us, almost 1 1/2 hours away, so travel time alone is a 3 hour evolution, and that’s when the traffic is good and it’s not rush hour. So when he travels to see her, it’s a long day for him. He was gone almost 8 hours yesterday and when he finally got back home late last night he was so exhausted he was staggering.

As worried as I am for Sheri, I’m more concerned for Ron and the physical and emotional strain this is on him, when he’s also carrying his own physical and emotional load as he deals with his own cancer.
 
Ronni, if at all possible you might need to start going with him and playing chaufer. Due to his disease and ongoing treatments he might benefit a lot from the help. When my own hubs was receiving daily chemo, I was the one doing the driving and the waiting around while he got the help he needed. And Ron's is even more complicated with his daughter's health challenges.
 
robin416 said:
Ronni, if at all possible you might need to start going with him and playing chaufer. Due to his disease and ongoing treatments he might benefit a lot from the help. When my own hubs was receiving daily chemo, I was the one doing the driving and the waiting around while he got the help he needed. And Ron's is even more complicated with his daughter's health challenges.
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@robin416 I go with him as much as I can. I work full time so during the weekdays I juggle my schedule to do as much of the driving for him as possible.

Weekends we normally would be able to do this together but as it happened I was at the Red Cross donating blood, and by the time he called me he was already on the road.
 
Ronni: I can’t express how sorry I am that you have to fend off so much sorrow. I always try my best to have a good attitude and make everyday a good day, but when I hear this type of news, it beats me down knowing that I have another friend hurting because one of their family members is going through a life or death situation. I have heard too many of these stories that it makes me sad to know that people I know are hurting physically and emotionally.

It’s good that you are on top of these issues, but you don’t want to forget to take care of yourself, which many people do. Eating, exercising and proper sleep are necessary to keep yourself fit. I have known people who were caretakers in their family and ignored their own needs and became ill themselves.
 
Ronni said:
@robin416 I go with him as much as I can. I work full time so during the weekdays I juggle my schedule to do as much of the driving for him as possible.

Weekends we normally would be able to do this together but as it happened I was at the Red Cross donating blood, and by the time he called me he was already on the road.
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I was going to say something that might have made you LOL just when you were going to take a drink. But I decided it wasn't really that funny.

I cannot imagine what the toll this is taking on you. I know what it did to me but I wasn't working so it was easy for me to be the driver and support.

I'll bet he didn't call you until he was on the road to keep you from leaving work or try not to add to your stress. If he only knew it doesn't really help. And I know you won't tell him.
 
robin416 said:
I was going to say something that might have made you LOL just when you were going to take a drink. But I decided it wasn't really that funny.

I cannot imagine what the toll this is taking on you. I know what it did to me but I wasn't working so it was easy for me to be the driver and support.

I'll bet he didn't call you until he was on the road to keep you from leaving work or try not to add to your stress. If he only knew it doesn't really help. And I know you won't tell him.
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You’re spot on. That’s exactly what he did. And I love him for trying to lighten my load, ❤️ but if he doesn’t stop being so selfless and start focusing on self-care he will really pay for it both physically and emotionally!
 
oldman said:
Ronni: I can’t express how sorry I am that you have to fend off so much sorrow. I always try my best to have a good attitude and make everyday a good day, but when I hear this type of news, it beats me down knowing that I have another friend hurting because one of their family members is going through a life or death situation. I have heard too many of these stories that it makes me sad to know that people I know are hurting physically and emotionally.

It’s good that you are on top of these issues, but you don’t want to forget to take care of yourself, which many people do. Eating, exercising and proper sleep are necessary to keep yourself fit. I have known people who were caretakers in their family and ignored their own needs and became ill themselves.
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@oldman thank you. 🙏 I’m doing my best to practice self-care, because I’m very aware how quickly my own energy and resilience can be whittled down to nothing. Been there done that 😖

I’m not getting to the gym as frequently, but I *am* getting there weekly. I’m short on sleep but when it gets bad I sleep in the guest room for a night or two where Ron’s restlessness and frequent trips to the bathroom won’t wake me up. My nutrition is ok, though I find myself stress-eating at times.

I just…I don’t know. I guess I’d just really like a break from the constant stress. I’ve promised myself that when this latest hurdle with Sheri is over with, Ron and I will take a weekend away to our favorite Airbnb. That always helps. 🙂
 
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911 said:
Ronni: Are you still getting PVC’s?
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@911 Not as much as before. I’ve hauled out and dusted off my various coping techniques that I used to use during the wretched years of my son’s drug use, when I’d have full blown panic attacks.

I also have an upcoming well visit with my doctor. I’ll discuss these latest catastrophes in my life, see if my meds need to be adjusted. She’s seen me through a lot in these last 20 years so she’s familiar with my story. We’ll be adding another chapter to it at this next appointment.
 
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