Just keep your panties zipped

Boy do I agree with your last sentence. People do it because:
~They can't control their desires
~They don't think they'll get caught (or about the ramifications if they are)
~They think they are so smart that they can handle these affairs
~They think their money can be used to make it go away if they are caught

Affairs are complicated and messy. Not only have they caused divorces and broken homes, they have been the reason for murders.
 
Nothing new here.

My first thought is that if you lie to your family and the people closest to you then you will not hesitate to lie to me or anyone else to get what you want.

My second thought is that the coverup is always worse and more damaging than accepting the consequences of your choices right from the start.

The truth hurts for a moment but lies destroy trust forever.
 
26 years of career - 26 years!

"A Utah Supreme Court justice has resigned amid a probe into an alleged relationship with an attorney who worked on a redistricting lawsuit.

Justice Diana Hagen appeared to reference the investigation and the toll it has taken on her loved ones in a resignation letter to Utah Gov. Spencer Cox, which was obtained by Fox News Digital.

"As a public servant for twenty-six years, I am keenly aware that public service requires sacrifice," Hagen wrote. "I have willingly accepted those sacrifices for the privilege of holding a position of public trust, where I could do my part to uphold the rule of law and protect the constitutional rights of every Utahn.""

SOURCE: Utah Supreme Court justice resigns amid probe into alleged relationship with redistricting attorney
 
Lawrence00 said:
Just read another story. This time a Utah judge resigning, and an affair with an attorney is involved.

This cuts across political parties, entertainers, corporate executives, and more. People trashing careers, and families.

Get a divorce first if you cannot control your zipper.
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My husband... destroyed our marriage with his affair at work with a colleague.... no thought for the destruction of our future... just his selfish wants ...
 
Impulse control issues also leading to drug abuse. Some need/want gratification 24/7.

That being said how well do people really know their spouses, partners or even family members. Point being if one really thinks about it there were probably earlier warning signs.

Maybe some are getting caught for the first time. Other perhaps married for the wrong reasons. Marriage is a box check for many trying to keep up with the Joneses.

Not surprised just disappointed.
 
WhatInThe said:
Impulse control issues also leading to drug abuse.
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Yes, I agree, particularly when it comes to alcohol which breaks down our inhibitions.

That said, I sense a curious bias. See, nothing happens in a vacuum, right? I'm not attempting to make an excuse for the cheat, but at the same time I'm wondering why it is that, in conversation, people always tend to assume that everything was terrific, and the cheating was an aberration out of nowhere by a nasty partner.

I get that marriage is a contract, and that the contract is broken in such cases - but isn't there room for some blame being with the other partner? I wonder if people truly just cheat on a whim without thinking about it, or whether - more likely - there is something wrong with their marriage in the first place that gives them the mental capacity to look elsewhere. Is it ever possible that the other partner has some responsibility? Or are we simply going to blame a physical act?
 
VaughanJB said:
Yes, I agree, particularly when it comes to alcohol which breaks down our inhibitions.

That said, I sense a curious bias. See, nothing happens in a vacuum, right? I'm not attempting to make an excuse for the cheat, but at the same time I'm wondering why it is that, in conversation, people always tend to assume that everything was terrific, and the cheating was an aberration out of nowhere by a nasty partner.

I get that marriage is a contract, and that the contract is broken in such cases - but isn't there room for some blame being with the other partner? I wonder if people truly just cheat on a whim without thinking about it, or whether - more likely - there is something wrong with their marriage in the first place that gives them the mental capacity to look elsewhere. Is it ever possible that the other partner has some responsibility? Or are we simply going to blame a physical act?
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That's the same excuse often given for domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault, etc.
The other person must have done something or failed to do something to 'deserve' it..
🤬
 
hollydolly said:
My husband... destroyed our marriage with his affair at work with a colleague.... no thought for the destruction of our future... just his selfish wants ...
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Selfish wants

Which sums up a lot of cheaters. Their desires/gratification take precedent about all else.

I've seen the office romance playout too many times. Unfortunately more common than many people think.

I'm kind of surprised at the public shock type reactions and fascination with these high profile affairs because many of these people were relatively unknown by those not in or following the industry.
 
MACKTEXAS said:
There are certain public figures in Texas who are frequently in the spotlight for allegations of misconduct and / or morality issues, yet they support displaying the 10 commandments in schools.
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That's not just the case in Texas. I think that's been going on for as long as people have existed, that those in power want us "little people" to follow the rules but don't feel like they should have to.
 
officerripley said:
That's not just the case in Texas. I think that's been going on for as long as people have existed, that those in power want us "little people" to follow the rules but don't feel like they should have to.
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Right - I understand and agree that it's not just in Texas. I made the disctinction since (1) Texas is where I live, (2) the people I was referring to are looked up to by people I actually know personally and they refuse to acknowledge the hypocrisy. In my view, that places them in the same category.
 
Sunkist said:
That's the same excuse often given for domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault, etc.
The other person must have done something or failed to do something to 'deserve' it..
🤬
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I didn't mean it as an "excuse". But are you saying that never, ever, in the history of man, someone cheated on their marriage partner and it was justified, or at least was partially the result of the other person doing, or not doing, something themselves?
 
WhatInThe said:
I'm kind of surprised at the public shock type reactions and fascination with these high profile affairs because many of these people were relatively unknown by those not in or following the industry.
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Actually, I'm not surprised. There was a time, not so long ago, that we truly did expect people in levels of authority to have some morals and ethics. Today few people seem to really care, anything goes. Even in her resignation post, she acknowledges that she was held to a higher standard due to the influence of her role.

She apparently had an affair with an attorney, which does question her integrity.
 
VaughanJB said:
I didn't mean it as an "excuse". But are you saying that never, ever, in the history of man, someone cheated on their marriage partner and it was justified, or at least was partially the result of the other person doing, or not doing, something themselves?
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I'm sure that happens... but I'd be willing to bet the scenario I described happens much much more often.
 
Sunkist said:
I'm sure that happens... but I'd be willing to bet the scenario I described happens much much more often.
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I don't mean to pick on you, Sunkist, I'm just curious. And I'm sure there are people whispering over their fences that I'm mentioning this only because I must have been a cheater (which I've never been).

But - so it is your belief that more often than now, affairs are entered into on a whim, and not for any other reason (or reasonable reason) than weakness of character? If that's true, I wonder what that really says about both people, and our society. Why are there so many weak willed people, and why do so many of them marry in the first place?

I note that marriages are in decline overall.....
 
Someone said to me that people shouldn’t stay together if one of them is unhappy. You don’t have to go through life not being happy.

Maybe there’s some truth in this, but the other person needs to be told that there are issues. Imo, if you’ve made a commitment you should at least try to work on it. No surprises.
 
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