Diagnosed with Cancer

I

imp

Senior Member
What do you feel one's reaction ought to be when diagnosed with cancer?

The various magazine articles I have read dig into the superficial.

These give advice, offer ways to understand, reconcile, re-sort life, prepare loved ones, etc.

I see no recommendations telling the diagnosed what to do.

Ideas? imp
 

Well... the first thing they do is to gather all the information they can about the disease and how to fight it... At least that's what hubby and I did last July when he got the diagnosis.
 
One of our daughters was diagnosed with Breast Cancer...Twice. The first time, she went through Hell with radiation and chemo treatments. The 2nd time, she endured the necessary surgeries to remove the affected parts, and better insure that there would be no more repeats. Following her experiences, our other daughter, and the granddaughters all went through thorough exams, and found that they were all genetically disposed to similar problems. As a result, they have all undergone the necessary surgeries to hopefully prevent troubles in the future.
 

QuickSilver said:
Well... the first thing they do is to gather all the information they can about the disease and how to fight it... At least that's what hubby and I did last July when he got the diagnosis.
Click to expand...

That`s funny,because that is exactly what I have always done with any sort of illness or "condition" in my family,friends or self. But with my own breast cancer diagnosis,I have just gone along with whatever treatment my doctors have suggested and done very little research on my own-very,very unlike me. I am still very much living on Denial Island. I would never have expected this from myself-it`s weird. I rarely even ask any questions. Maybe because it was caught so early,I don`t feel there were many options on how to treat it. All they gave me was 1) Lumpectomy followed by radiation or 2) Mastectomy,no radiation necessary. I chose #1. I have 7 more treatments left-next Friday I am DONE-YAY!
 
Mrs. Robinson said:
That`s funny,because that is exactly what I have always done with any sort of illness or "condition" in my family,friends or self. But with my own breast cancer diagnosis,I have just gone along with whatever treatment my doctors have suggested and done very little research on my own-very,very unlike me. I am still very much living on Denial Island. I would never have expected this from myself-it`s weird. I rarely even ask any questions. Maybe because it was caught so early,I don`t feel there were many options on how to treat it. All they gave me was 1) Lumpectomy followed by radiation or 2) Mastectomy,no radiation necessary. I chose #1. I have 7 more treatments left-next Friday I am DONE-YAY!
Click to expand...

Hugs to you, Mrs. Robinson. You're dealing with it. I know it's fine to research and all that..but you've made your decision and doing the best you can. Don't beat yourself up. :love_heart:
 
I have been diagnosed during the past 25 years with three separate kinds of cancer. Basal Cell Skin Cancers, Prostate Cancer, Non Hodgkins Lymphoma (Waldenstrom's Disease). The first thing I did in each case was to set out and learn all I could about the disease and who was the best physician available to me that was expert in treating that particular disease.I then discussed the various treatment options with the doctor. I also joined online support groups for each condition and found it invaluable in getting perspective on treatment options.Complete removal of my Prostate Gland took care of that problem, The Waldenstrom's Disease has been in remission since initial treatment and the Basal Cells are surgically removed once diagnosed. This is a on going thing and just yesterday I had another one removed from my nose. I have been fortunate. Life is good.
 
This is how hubby and I handle his prostate cancer diagnosis... our first reaction was "TAKE IT OUT" GET IT OUT" however I found some very helpful information on a "Prostate cancer for women" site.. it's wives of men with the diagnosis. They gave me some very good information and lot's of reading material.. this is how we decided on "active surveillance" for now... and our doctor is comfortable with it.. We are confident in him and know that the minute more aggressive action is needed we will be advised.
 
It's uplifting to read stories about people surviving it. I can't imagine getting that diagnosis. My Dad used to be a sun worshipper, always had a deep dark tan from yard work. Now he's had multiple skin cancers removed. My Mom had uterine cancer and survived, but her health declined soon after. Saddest was my sister in law. I don't think she was even thirty when she passed from a brain tumor. That was in the late 80's and people still were uncomfortable talking about it.

Isn't it interesting how our culture has changed? Now they have humorous greeting cards to the effect of " You're my best friend and we're going to fight this together!". It's wonderful that it's out in the open now. Oh and my SIL smoked weed to cope with the chemo and radiation side effects. Now you can get a prescription in some states. When my aunt had breast cancer in the early 60's it was really bad. She didn't talk about it and she didn't want anyone to know. That must have been so hard going it alone like that.
 
Mrs. Robinson said:
. All they gave me was 1) Lumpectomy followed by radiation or 2) Mastectomy,no radiation necessary. I chose #1. I have 7 more treatments left-next Friday I am DONE-YAY!
Click to expand...

Would I be too inquiring to ask if the radiation treatments have been an ordeal? Admittedly, none of my business. imp
 
Times have Definitely Changed

"She didn't talk about it and she didn't want anyone to know. That must have been so hard going it alone like that."

Yes, it really was like that back then. Fear prevailed and overshadowed logical thinking, maybe. How very alone such folks must have felt, just as you say! imp
 
imp said:
Would I be too inquiring to ask if the radiation treatments have been an ordeal? Admittedly, none of my business. imp
Click to expand...

For my niece (who died of colon cancer in 2015 at 40) the radiation treatments were a terrible ordeal (well, not exactly the treatments, themselves, but the aftermath -- what they caused).

Her last round of radiation was a "palliative" round, supposed to try and get the tumor to get a little smaller so it wasn't pressing so hard on other organs and spreading so fast. It didn't work, and she suffered painful radiation burns.
 
When my niece was diagnosed, she was already terminally ill, as the cancer had already spread everywhere. Her whole world collapsed pretty quickly, lost her job, her medical coverage, her dignity, her home and her car. She was devastated.

She handled an indescribably awful situation about as well as anyone could have, I believe. I don't think she truly believed she was going to die, though, until the final month or so. She kept hanging on to hope that something HAD to work, even though the docs told her there was very little chance. The day she finally accepted it, I was with her at the oncologist when the doctor told her there was simply nothing more that medicine could offer. I will never forget how she looked when that information really hit her in the face -- the light went out in her eyes and she suddenly became a dying old woman.
 
  • Like
Reactions: imp
It is indescribably painful to watch people you love in that situation. Dying is inevitable, but we all have the right to do so with dignity, peacefully, and without pain. I am so grateful for assisted suicide.
 
I agree Shalimar, my sister in law probably would have opted for that eventually. They operated once and she went through the chemo and radiation. I think they've improved on managing side effects a bit now. But she had every side effect there was and then some. From being a pretty vibrant twentysomething to being bald and bloated from treatments. It seemed like as soon as she recovered from one session it was time for another. Then after going through all that the tumor came back as inoperable. I think at that point she would have said it was time to go already. But assisted suicide wasn't an option then unless somebody pulled out your respirator plug.
 
These stories illuminate the need for leaving this world when it is absolutely necessary, through suicide, assisted or not, a heart-rending consideration nonetheless needed to allow a dignified exit without extending pain and suffering unnecessarily long. imp
 
Assisted suicide isn't yet an option here -- it is still wending its way through the courts. I sincerely hope it becomes available. My niece chose to continue treatment long after there ceased to be any realistic hope at all -- those final treatments only succeeded in prolonging her dying. In her last months she had no quality of life at all, and a lot of pain and really nasty side effects that could not be well controlled. I lost count of how many trips we made to the emergency room. I would have thrown in the towel long before.

My mother decided to cease chemotherapy as soon as she knew the cancer in her gallbladder (rare, they said) had spread to her liver and was terminal. She said she did not want to spend her last months vomiting and with uncontrollable diarrhea. She opted for palliative treatment and actually felt fairly well (her assessment) up until about her last two or three weeks. We were able to go shopping (with her in a wheelchair), which she enjoyed, go to church and other things she wanted to do. Her last days were kept comfortable with the aid of morphine and other pain and palliative medications. She was able to die here at home, as she wished.
 
  • Like
Reactions: imp
If I were diagnosed with a terminal cancer, or a cancer that required radical surgeries and chemo and still not good odds of recovery, I think I would opt for quality of life for whatever time I might have left, rather than quantity, and decline treatment. That's what I say now, of course God forbid I am ever faced with that decision, I might feel differently. My first priority in any case would be to make sure my fur kids were taken care of for the rest of their lives.
 
  • Like
Reactions: imp
deesierra said:
If I were diagnosed with a terminal cancer, or a cancer that required radical surgeries and chemo and still not good odds of recovery, I think I would opt for quality of life for whatever time I might have left, rather than quantity, and decline treatment. That's what I say now, of course God forbid I am ever faced with that decision, I might feel differently. My first priority in any case would be to make sure my fur kids were taken care of for the rest of their lives.
Click to expand...

I agree with you. After seeing what my niece went through with the treatments and surgeries, I'm not sure I just wouldn't opt for palliative therapies right off the bat, especially if there was very little chance of recovery, anyway. My niece did everything they offered her, and it was awful and only got worse and worse. A lot of what she suffered was from the various treatments.

I hope to God I'm never faced with that decision.

I'd arrange for my doggie to be taken care of, too.
 
Like deesierra and Butterfly, I'd chose to just get on with living until it was time to go. I can't see the point of extending things if I was going to be sick and feeling wretched every one of those last days.
 
imp said:
Would I be too inquiring to ask if the radiation treatments have been an ordeal? Admittedly, none of my business. imp
Click to expand...

Sorry Imp-just now seeing this. Finished radiation last Friday and the worst part was the drive back and forth every day. Two hours out of your day,every single weekday,gets old. I had some fatigue-really wanted a nap every day but rarely got the chance. Now the past few days,I have been really,really tired and thought it was catching up,but checked my blood pressure last night and it was 112/53 so that is more likely the problem. Don`t know what`s up with that...
 
Oh,I did forget to mention the burns. I was actually fairly lucky-being blonde and fair skinned,I was afraid I might burn badly. But I do fairly well in the sun so I was hopeful. I did have a couple of areas that burned worse than others and am having a bit of peeling now,but really not bad. They never had to postpone any treatments because of burning so I was very happy about that. Just wanted to get it all over with.
 
Don M. said:
One of our daughters was diagnosed with Breast Cancer...Twice. The first time, she went through Hell with radiation and chemo treatments. The 2nd time, she endured the necessary surgeries to remove the affected parts, and better insure that there would be no more repeats. Following her experiences, our other daughter, and the granddaughters all went through thorough exams, and found that they were all genetically disposed to similar problems. As a result, they have all undergone the necessary surgeries to hopefully prevent troubles in the future.
Click to expand...

This is what my husband wants me to do,should I have a recurrence. He is 100% behind me making my own decisions on any and all treatments but has let me know that this is what he would prefer I do. I am on the fence,as I do not test positive for the gene and have no family history of breast cancer. I think for me,it would be a matter of avoiding chemo by having surgery. If it would eliminate the need for chemo,I would be all for it. Otherwise,I`m just not sure.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top