I think this is more of an etiquette question.

Yes I agree if someone is doing you a favour... but what if they're not?...what if they owe you money , or tools you've lent them and waited patiently for them to return them , and you call them eventually long after they should have returned them as promised, and ask for it, and they say flippantly...ok remind me because I'm a bit busy... ......are they doing you a favour?
 

hollydolly said:
Yes I agree if someone is doing you a favour... but what if they're not?...what if they owe you money , or tools you've lent them and waited patiently for them to return them , and you call them eventually long after they should have returned them as promised, and ask for it, and they say flippantly...ok remind me because I'm a bit busy... ......are they doing you a favour?
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I was an accounts receivable collector. Did you know the leading cause of amnesia is to borrow money and tools

You phone or contact them on the day they are due. It's your stuff.
 
In this day and age where phones are smarter than most of us, I'd just say 'remind yerself'
 

Ruth n Jersey said:
This has been happening to me more and more and it drives crazy. The best way to explain is by example. If you have a phone conversation a few weeks before a person is to visit and you happen to mention that you have no photo of your Great grandmother. The person on the line says she has several duplicates and will bring them when they visit. Then I get, just remind me. Or maybe, I'll be glad to bring a cheesecake, just remind me. Why do I have to remind that person? When I'm the one saying I'll give or bring I immediately write it on my calendar and on the appropriate day I bring the item. Is their time more valuable than mine? Can't they take one minute to write it down?Maybe I'm overly sensitive and I know I do have ocd tendencies and am organized to a fault. Worse yet is when a person says they will make something or buy something. What am I suppose to do? Call them and say don't forget to make that green bean casserole? Most of these come from younger family members so it is not a case of an older person having memory problems. Does this happen to you and and are you bothered by it? Maybe I'm nitpicking.
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Ruth, I'm like you, I'd write it down somewhere and make sure I remembered it, wouldn't think of telling someone else to remind me after that conversation. Unfortunately there are people who, even if you feel uncomfortable about it and remind them....they will forget anyway. Some are just undependable and unreliable, like someone here said, those are the same folks who are always late and never on time. You're not nitpicking, it is aggravating, and they are just careless.
 
Thank you all for the responses. Most of you seem to agree that it is irritating,I'm not alone. Discussing this with the hubby over dinner tonight I pointed out that he does it also. He pointed out that a lot of people aren't as organized as I am when it comes to such things. He said I have a tendency to over react. I decided to let him stay,for now. Valentines Day is coming, I don't want to rock the boat. lol I still find it all quite aggravating. Next Christmas I will give them all a calendar, pen and pencils and a notebook. I hope I remember.
 
I often tell people to "remind me if I forget". So far no one has seemed upset. I go above and beyond the call of duty to do things for people all the time. I spend hours hunting through photos to find what they want, I go through cloths to find a certain jacket they want, I find recipes, I crawl around under my bed to find that box with the new Guess leather boots that don't fit me, I buy ink so someone can use my printer, I make batches of cookies for someone to take to a class they are teaching etc etc. So far no one has ever seemed upset I've asked them to remind me.

And people do things for me all the time and sometimes I remind them. Doesn't bother me in the lest. Guess I live on a different planet than a lot of you do. Don't forget to bring me the photo of grandma in her wedding dress, did you remember to look for that recipe of mom's fried clams?, Do you want the orange and white Duluth men's flannel shirt in size 3LT or should I give it to a thrift store, remind me, Did I remember to give you gas money the last time you came over to help me organize the attic? , remind me if I forgot.

I just believe 2 minds are better than one.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
This has been happening to me more and more and it drives crazy. The best way to explain is by example. If you have a phone conversation a few weeks before a person is to visit and you happen to mention that you have no photo of your Great grandmother. The person on the line says she has several duplicates and will bring them when they visit. Then I get, just remind me. Or maybe, I'll be glad to bring a cheesecake, just remind me. Why do I have to remind that person? When I'm the one saying I'll give or bring I immediately write it on my calendar and on the appropriate day I bring the item. Is their time more valuable than mine? Can't they take one minute to write it down?Maybe I'm overly sensitive and I know I do have ocd tendencies and am organized to a fault. Worse yet is when a person says they will make something or buy something. What am I suppose to do? Call them and say don't forget to make that green bean casserole? Most of these come from younger family members so it is not a case of an older person having memory problems. Does this happen to you and and are you bothered by it? Maybe I'm nitpicking.
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I understand how you feel. People do that to me, too, and I feel they are shifting the responsibility to me for what they are responsible. I really don't like it and actually feel like saying "well, never mind.." but I don't. I often forget what they asked me to remind them and then remember mos. later..lol
 
Wow..I'm surprised by the number of people who take such huge offense with someone saying "remind me". I've said it and I have friends and family members who have said it. No problem. Okay, if I remember to remind you, I'll remind you. Everybody has such busy lives and may intend to put reminders on their calendars or wherever. They may get distracted if they're like me with my ADD self and forget to do it. I don't use a paper calendar, I use Google calendar so I can access it on my phone and tablet. I have had the app messes up sometimes and notifies me of something after the event has passed. I don't know why it does it or how to fix it. I certainly wouldn't drop someone who does this.
 
These people are just talking and do not mean it or they are forgetful
because they don't care enough. Their time is more important than yours!
Someone in my family is like this all the time. It is a power issue. If they are
part of your family you may be stuck with him or her. And they hate being reminded I bet.
They may have inherited this behavior from their parents.
 
I guess I don't look for deep, psychological meaning behind everything. If some says "remind me" I either do or don't. I'm of an age where I don't do anything I don't want to do (unless it involves a doctor or paying bills, etc. :D.)
 

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