how to handle retirement if spouse still working 4 more years

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martys

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Anybody find retirement tough if are retired but your spouse is still working for as few years more. it is as if you and your spouse are on two different life styles. How have you handled this.

I am 66 retired 1 year and the novelty wore off and realty set in. My wife 62 and works full time has 4 more years to retire at 66. No luck finding job 2 days a week(no weekends) in my field. Going to volunteer 2 days a week. but now finding it tough
 
My wife continued to work for 4 years after I retired. I did most of the cooking and household chores, but I already did anyway.

For years she worked Mon-Fri day shift, and I worked rotating shifts(nights & weekends), so we were used to different lifestyles.
 
Our oldest daughter, and Son-in-law are in a similar situation. He retired last year, and she will work another 2 years to get her full benefits from the school district. They have adjusted to this lifestyle just fine. Scott has a nice boat, and goes fishing quite often, he is restoring an old car, and he helps some of his elderly neighbors with their chores. They both stay busy during the week with their activities, and enjoy their weekends together. Two years will pass quickly, and then they can both enjoy good retirement benefits, and do some traveling, etc.
 
Oh it could be worse.. I retired early 4 months ago wasn't due to retire for another 4 years ... my husband's earliest official retirement year is not until 2026... and if his health is still good he will not even retire then. He works in an industry where people tend not to retire unless they physically can't work any more..so I may never have a retired husband at home..
 
Never had to face the problem. My wife only worked for the first year of our marriage until we had our first child. In the ensuing years she was a mom and then a grandma in the old tradition. Grandkids came and went but never forgot "grandma's house" That's where the specilal little parties were held and they learned as little folks to cook, sew, play games, and sit on grandma's lap. She was never too busy for them. It was a great help for our married son and daughter's as they were working couples.


I suppose we'd have more money in the bank today if we'd both kept our nose to the grindstone but the dividends are coming back to us as the married grand-kids call, visit, or invite us to their houses. They've combined to give us 7 great grands, which we also see regularly. Fortunately, we all live within driving distance so there's more social life inside of our family than out. When I retired it was an easy transition. We were comfortable together and able to travel during the first 20 years until we've started to slow down as ailments start to take their toll.


If we had it to do over again we'd choose the same path but you do have to acknowledge that one salary doesn't go as far as two, and if "just being a wife and grandma doesn't suite a person" then that's another story.:D
 
martys said:
Anybody find retirement tough if are retired but your spouse is still working for as few years more. it is as if you and your spouse are on two different life styles. How have you handled this.

I am 66 retired 1 year and the novelty wore off and realty set in. My wife 62 and works full time has 4 more years to retire at 66. No luck finding job 2 days a week(no weekends) in my field. Going to volunteer 2 days a week. but now finding it tough
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I was an early buy out retirement person and had to wait for certain months till I could take a job. Since our house was still not paid for I needed to work a bit more. So I did. I found a night job in a neighboring town. Different type of work so it was OK, but did have a payroll. Then that company also went down so unemployed again. I did some volunteer work and also went to work part time for Walmart. Quite a difference as I have now gone from engineering work to general merchandise type work. It kept me busy and helped me pay off the final payments on the house. Once we got rid of the house payments life suddenly got a lot easier. I have traveled and done part time jobs for pocket money. Really enjoyed my retirement days and lived many places. Some I liked and others not so well.
 
While I see a problem with a split in your retirements, I can also see benefits in a spouse who still works. I take care of the house and she brings another paycheck home...works for me. Also, me finding other guys to hang with while she's at work has been a godsend.
 
After I retired I found a seasonal job where I worked from March 1 until Aug 30, and then go play. Far better than a part time all year. That was at the AAA Motor Club.
That job may be automated/computerized by now. That was back in the 90s.

My wife stopped working long before me due to health problems.
 
My better half retired 3 years ago at age 57. I still have 5 more years to go. The thing is . . . I work from home. We're in each other's faces 24/7 :cool: At first I was worried that too much togetherness might drive us insane, but I'm happy to report that it's actually awesome. We're closer now than we've ever been and have literally grown to be each other's best friend. So, I think one partner retired while the other isn't has its challenges but it's honestly really great.
 
DW and I retired at 56 and 54 respectively. After doing a lot of travel for two years, DW said she was too young to retire and went back to work for another 4 years or so. I did a bit of part-time work, only a few hours a day a few days a week for about 3 years.
But as another poster mentioned, I did most household chores, work around the house, and really added a lot of time to daily workouts. No problem. I even started taking some trips without DW. She had no issue with that. But the 'secret' to this is that I had deferred a great deal of maintenance to the house (anticipating retirement), and more than enough to do outdoors. So, I had plenty of activities along with a bit of volunteer work. You have to have enough interests and ability to pursue them or you end up watching TV day-after-day.
 
I just retired at 59. My husband is only 52 and has his own business. I am helping him with his scheduling and the book work. His business is seasonal, so from November to April he works one week a month. This was our first winter on this schedule so we did some traveling, thanks to the mild winter. We were able to go South Dakota in December and enjoyed the Black Hills and Custer State Park the week before the fire. When his busy season starts I will have all the yard work and gardening to do. So I will stay busy. Some days I already wonder....When did I have time to work?
 
I am done with work, due to being laid off, and now health issues. My spouse is past early retirement age, which had been our plan, and still working because we can't afford the retirement with me not working. I hate this situation! I do like my time alone, but the guilt is a great stressor. I'm told not to worry, but...I do anyway. A person can't help who they are, right?

Maybe I'd do better if I had some activities to keep me busy, but the health thing interferes. I have no friends, so I'm pretty lonely. Dang, here I go feeling sorry for myself. *sniffle*
 
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After decades of being single, I don't know how a couple... with contrary natures, opinions, lifestyles, goals... manages anything.
 
KingsX said:
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After decades of being single, I don't know how a couple... with contrary natures, opinions, lifestyles, goals... manages anything.
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If they're that different, you're talking about divorced couples (mostly). You need to share many opinions, definitely agree on lifestyle, and have similar goals as a couple to stay a couple. We all have 'contrary natures'.........
 
My wife worked another few years after I retired. I loved it. Got a few projects done without her advice(interference) took a couple of short solo trips, had a couple part time jobs. Still operate equipment a bit if the BTO has a need.

Now we are TOGETHER.
 
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