Did I do the right thing? Did he?

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
After yesterday's blizzard, I was out front just starting to shovel the snow this morning when a man walked by in the street. He stopped and offered to shovel the 50 foot public sidewalk in front of my house where the street plow threw up a great deal of frozen, impacted chunks. I didn't ask him; he volunteered. This has happened a few times before and the different people who helped me refused to take money even when offered. When he started, he never mentioned he expected to be paid.

When he was about half done, he started to hint around about my giving him some money for doing it and telling me he needed money because his car died and he needed to hire transportation to drive him to work. I asked him how much he wanted and he just shrugged and said "Whatever you feel is right." I gave him $20.

Now my questions are: 1) Was it right of him to start shoveling without saying he was expecting to be paid? and 2) Did I give him enough, too much or just enough?
 

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Never assume anything. You should have discussed the payment expectation from the start, and he should definitely have told you he expected payment before he began working. I don't know if the $20 was sufficient or not, since I don't know how much work was involved. He did leave it open to you so I assume it was satisfactory to you both.
 

debodun, I thought you lived in a small town so I'm surprised Uber is available. And Uber is via smartphone and credit card - one doesn't just hire an Uber although he might have wanted to get a cab.

Generally speaking when someone offers to do such a favor it's a favor, no payment is expected although sometimes the recipient offers a few dollars. $5 - $10 would have been fine, but all the details he gave were unnecessary.
 
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Isn't this more about the hinting? You did post that others did this and refused the offer of being paid. I'm kind of curious what kind of hint was made?
As for the amount paid what ever you felt was right was what the man said. Are you second guessing yourself because of the labor involved? What would you have offered anyone to do that for you?
 
In our conversation, he also mentioned that he was looking for new place to live and was looking at my house. He said he'd pay up to $500 a month to get out of where he is now and asked if I had any space I would rent to him.

Unfortunately, living alone, people might talk If I had a man move in and I'd also be uncomfortable having someone I don't even know living here. I can see endless disputes in a "He said, she said" situation.

Also, $500 seems like a low-ball offer to rent for a month and most of my living space is packed full of items waiting for the upcoming garage sale season.
 
I think you did exactly the right thing, and $20 was fair, especially considering the circumstances. I would have preferred he be more honest at the beginning about it.
 
Depends how long it took him to shovel. For an hour, yes 20.
For 30 minutes, that's too much. (because that would be 40. an hour rate.)
But I am not the generous type.
 
You did good considering he wasn't straight up front with you.

When you give, give with a willing heart. When you take, take only from someone with a willing heart.:love_heart:
 
To avoid such a not sure situation, we always keep some cash on hand (a stack of $5 bills) so if someone does come and offer to help, I just have the cash to give and offer it right away. I do not have a big drive way, and the bigger chore is the ramp. So I figure $5 or $10 is a fair (to me) amount. Especially it is usually one of the neighbor kids who helps. My neighbor across the street has a rider mower, and always refuses money when offered. So 2-3 times a summer my hubby goes out and buys a couple steaks or a 6 pack and drops them off for him.
 
I would like to suggest to always get the money part worked out before hiring or even allowing anyone to do a job. Even though this man offered to do the work and didn't ask or mention anything about money, had it been me, I would have asked him...."and how much will this cost me?" Never be shy about getting the money part straight before having the work done. It's your money and you need to protect it.

As for having him move in, I strongly urge you not to do this. You have heard all the stories about predators and so forth and it really doesn't matter about age or appearances because these guys just want to get inside your home. He may be the nicest man in the world, but at this point, you don't even know his name, do you?

Someone on this board wrote a post that asked the question "Are People Less Trusting Than They Used To Be?" And, we have all heard the phrase, "Trust your fellow man." To that I say, "Bunk." Personally, I don't trust anyone that isn't close to me. A person either has to be ignorant or blind if they can't see what's going on out in the world today. The stories I could tell and if I did tell, you would be sleeping with the lights on tonight. The world has become a very dangerous place and for those that don't believe that, they are what we call an "at risk person" or "ARP."

Now, go have some fun.
 
911 said:
but at this point, you don't even know his name, do you?
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Yes, he gave me a business card of his employer and wrote his first name, address and phone # on it.

911 said:
Someone on this board wrote a post that asked the question "Are People Less Trusting Than They Used To Be?"
Click to expand...

That was me. I am trusting in a public situation, like a grocery store. But having a person I don't know behind closed doors is another matter, even another woman. I do let people in when I am having an estate sale, but I assume they wouldn't try anything because they don't know when someone else will show up and I live in a village situation where the houses are close to neighbors and could probably yell loud enough to attract attention.
 
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This guy was checking you out, for whatever reason(s) he may have to do so. NEVER let him into your house, and, if he comes around, again, tell him, from behind a locked door (hopefully with a peep hole), that you do not want him to come back to your house, again. Watch a few true crime/murder shows on TV. You'll find MO's very similar to what I'm getting at. Be careful, be safe!
 
I agree with treeguy64! This person was checking you out. I do not trust anyone that just comes on my property offering services. If I want something done around my home, I will call a reputable company to come out. Be careful!
 
If anyone walked up to me and asked me if I wanted them to shovel my sidewalk, the first thing out of my mouth would be no thanks, or how much. Not many people would do it out of the kindness of their hearts, especially if they didn't know you. In fact, I'd probably be suspicious that he just wanted to get his hands on my shovel and take off with it. :playful: $20 sounds reasonable to me for something that wasn't arranged and scheduled.
 
maggiemae said:
I do not trust anyone that just comes on my property offering services. If I want something done around my home, I will call a reputable company to come out. Be careful!
Click to expand...

I agree, I turn away a lot of people who want to check out my roof, or sell me new windows or siding door to door, especially when it's obvious they're scammers because when you just had your roof redone in the last week or two, you know they're looking to take you for a ride.
 
debodun said:
Yes, he gave me a business card of his employer and wrote his first name, address and phone # on it.



That was me. I am trusting in a public situation, like a grocery store. But having a person I don't know behind closed doors is another matter, even another woman. I do let people in when I am having an estate sale, but I assume they wouldn't try anything because they don't know when someone else will show up and I live very close to neighbors and could probably yell loud enough to attract attention.
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Good for you. This man is probably legit, however, I have to tell you that I have seen the business card scam work pretty good on some folks. Call his employer and see if he actually works there and make sure it isn't him that you are speaking with.
 
treeguy64 said:
This guy was checking you out, for whatever reason(s) he may have to do so. NEVER let him into your house, and, if he comes around, again, tell him, from behind a locked door (hopefully with a peep hole), that you do not want him to come back to your house, again. Watch a few true crime/murder shows on TV. You'll find MO's very similar to what I'm getting at. Be careful, be safe!
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I agree 100 %. This guy creeps me out. I would have thanked him for the offer and just shoveled myself out. (Or got a neighbor to help if I couldn't. Or at least told HIM I could get a neighbor to help).
 
I’m too suspicious of strangers these days so, unless I was absolutely desperate, I would’ve said “It’s alright thanks, my husband’s on his way home to clear it”....
 
maggiemae said:
I agree with treeguy64! This person was checking you out. I do not trust anyone that just comes on my property offering services. If I want something done around my home, I will call a reputable company to come out. Be careful!
Click to expand...


Don't let these posters make you paranoid. You live in a very safe nice town. This is NY. Not saying it doesn't happen here,but if you check statistics,NY especially upstate ranks especially low in crime of any kind. The northeast is very nice crime wise compared to the south or southwest.
Every snow fall there are less fortunate folks who swarm the streets looking for a bit of cash earned by shoveling.
.
Should he have negotiated upfront, yes of course.
20 bucks is more than fair for unsolicited labor.

Don't be stupid keep your guard up ,but do not let people on a discussion forum make you paranoid. You have lived a long time in your home your town and upstate. You read the paper you watch the local news, you know what goes on in your neighborhood.

I know many on this board have accused me of a polly anna and naïve outlook on the potential of becoming a crime victim. but I firmly believe that in this area violent crime is an aberration, much more so than it is in other areas of the country.
 
Thanks for all the advice. I am CAUTIOUS, but not paranoid. Living in a small, somewhat rural suburb, could lure one into a false sense of security. Reading the town police reports in the local paper, what they have are mostly traffic violations and rare to have a violent crime reported. The worse thing I remember since I started looking at the police blotter reports was a violation of a restraining order between separated couples and malicious mischief pranks.

I tried to look up the business that was on the card, but apparently has no Internet presence. What business these days doesn't have a Web site or Facebook profile page?
 
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I think he should have told you up front that he would shovel but expected compensation. The look on your face should have told you if he was satisfied with what you gave or not. But even if he wasn't...he left himself open for receiving whatever it was you felt like giving. What if you truly had no money to give that day?
 

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