moosehead
Member
- Location
- South western Ontario
I remember spending some summers on a farm when I was a kid, sent there by my parents I'm assuming to give them some peace and quiet. Anyway, I recall having to get up about 5:30 AM and go out and collect the eggs from the chickens. That was my job.
The chickens used to make so much racket and would peck at me and there was one chicken in particular that didn't like me....and the feeling was mutual.
It would ambush me from the chicken coop, waiting for me to reach for the eggs and then would crap on my hand...and then peck at me, as I stood there cursing the damned bird.
One day I decided to change my routine. This particular "Fowl" tempered bird was near the door so usually I collected it's eggs first. I started at the other end of the shed and worked my way up to this bird. It was waiting. We stared at each other. It had beady eyes. I think they glowed too.....
I started to reach for the eggs and it stood up ready to do battle with it's crap and peck routine. I had an egg in my hand from another chicken and promptly threw the egg at this chicken, hitting it in the head. The egg broke, this chicken flew out of the coop, all the other birds, seeing the excitement, all started to fly about, if that's the word...And all hell broke loose. There were chicken feathers everywhere, dust flying..Along with the chickens... I turned and ran to the door.
As I reached the door Mrs. Jenkins, the owner of the farm, opened the door to see what was going on and I ran into her, going full speed, and knocked her onto her back..With me on top, eggs flying everywhere and me yelling that the chickens were going crazy! Mrs. Jenkins was not amused.
That evening, around the supper table, I was told they would find something else for me to do.
That something else to do was to feed the pigs. Now, I like pigs...They are smart, loved to have their backs rubbed but...And I say this in a kind way...Are really somewhat messy.
And aggressive, as I found out.
I was told that to feed them one had to pour the feed into their trough from outside the pen...I was only about 10 or so. I decided to go into the pen, with the pigs, to feed them and to get closer to them..To get to know them....
Well, I lug in the feed and try to get to the trough to put the feed in there. The pigs, all 6 of them, really do have beady eyes and they all started to stare at me....And then, realizing I was going to feed them, started toward me. I started to back up as they approached me....The faster I backed up the faster the porkies went....my feet got tangled up, I fell backwards into what could only be described as a quagmire of pig poop, mud and, now, pig food, as the buckets, two of them, went flying into the air. Fortunately the pigs, seeing the food scatter everywhere, went for the food and ignored me, as I struggled to get out of the pen.
That evening, around the supper table, Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins said they would find something else for me to do.
That something else was to go out into the fields and "collect" the cows, bringing them in for milking. It seemed simple enough.
Find cows, call out "Bossy Bossy Bossy" and they would make there way to the barn. Parts one and two accomplished.
Now, the cows, when they get to the barn, walked down a passageway which leads to the pens. I, in my infinite wisdom, decide that I am going to stand in the passageway and pet each cow as it goes by...wrong.
After first 7 cows go by and I have patted each one, number 8 comes along and gives me a look that said "boy, don't touch me, hear." I patted it...It then decides to turn and give me a look...Unfortunately it is a very narrow passageway and this cow has me sandwiched between it and the wall....I could not breath. This was serious....I was in deep trouble...I poked the cow in the eye. Fortunately that worked and it sauntered along to the pen. I was sore for a few days and, as Mr. Jenkins told me, lucky not to be crushed.
That evening......…
New job was milking the cows. Never did it before and Mr. Jenkins showed me how to do it. Next day, after HE had brought in the cows, it was up to me to help milking the cows. And, wouldn't you know it, it was cow number 8, the one now named "Crusher"...that I had to milk.
I could swear that this cow remembered who it was who had poked it in the eye.
As much as I tried there was no milk forthcoming. The cow was holding out.
So, I squeezed the teat really hard...Wrong move yet again. Did you know that a cow can jump AND kick at the same time? Not me! It did just that, causing the cow next to it to be startled, that one did the same thing, knocking Mr. Jenkins, who was milking it, off the stool onto his back, spilling the almost full bucket.
With that the other cows got agitated and, once again, all hell broke loose with mooing and kicking and spilled milk everywhere along with dust and curses.
At dinner that evening.....
New job was to cut the front and back lawns with a push mower. That seemed easy, no animals to get into trouble with. First day out I go to mow the lawn.
After about 10 minutes I notice, in the barnyard is a rather large pig...really large, waddling along. Now, I had never heard of a boar. It is, apparently, a male pig that has one mood...bad.
This pig looks like it could use some attention..it looked lonely. So, out I go into the barnyard to say hello to my new friend. As I approached the pig it slowly raised it's rather large head, which, I noticed, became larger the closer I got.
It started to grunt and, being young, I thought it was saying hello. It actually was not.
Well, I did not know that a pig this large could run so fast...that said, I didn't know I could run that fast! It started at a very slow trot that turned into a full out gallop....I figured out that it was not running toward me to be friendly.
This pig chased me around the barnyard, through the front yard, over the flowerbed....flowers flying everywhere, through the vegetable garden and I made it into the outhouse....where I stayed...with the pig waiting for me to emerge.
After a very long time I heard Mr. Jenkins yelling that, if anyone was in the outhouse, to stay there as the Boar was loose. No kidding. I yelled out that it was me. I heard Mr. Jenkins say " I'm not surprised." Whatever that meant.
Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins eventually rounded up the boar and put him back in his pen. They released me from the outhouse, surveyed the damage done by Mr. Pig and myself and stood shaking their heads.
What was left for me to do. Around the supper table that night the family... Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins, their daughter, who was 19 and two older sons aged 23 and 25, had to decide what it was I could do and not destroy the farm. I think they had a vote and it was decided that maybe I could paint the fences with the understanding I NOT visit any pigs, leave the chickens alone, don't go near the horses and stay away from the cows.
Next morning out I went, pail of white paint, brushes and the family probably praying that nothing go wrong.
So, I painted.....And then I saw the pond with the ducks......
The chickens used to make so much racket and would peck at me and there was one chicken in particular that didn't like me....and the feeling was mutual.
It would ambush me from the chicken coop, waiting for me to reach for the eggs and then would crap on my hand...and then peck at me, as I stood there cursing the damned bird.
One day I decided to change my routine. This particular "Fowl" tempered bird was near the door so usually I collected it's eggs first. I started at the other end of the shed and worked my way up to this bird. It was waiting. We stared at each other. It had beady eyes. I think they glowed too.....
I started to reach for the eggs and it stood up ready to do battle with it's crap and peck routine. I had an egg in my hand from another chicken and promptly threw the egg at this chicken, hitting it in the head. The egg broke, this chicken flew out of the coop, all the other birds, seeing the excitement, all started to fly about, if that's the word...And all hell broke loose. There were chicken feathers everywhere, dust flying..Along with the chickens... I turned and ran to the door.
As I reached the door Mrs. Jenkins, the owner of the farm, opened the door to see what was going on and I ran into her, going full speed, and knocked her onto her back..With me on top, eggs flying everywhere and me yelling that the chickens were going crazy! Mrs. Jenkins was not amused.
That evening, around the supper table, I was told they would find something else for me to do.
That something else to do was to feed the pigs. Now, I like pigs...They are smart, loved to have their backs rubbed but...And I say this in a kind way...Are really somewhat messy.
And aggressive, as I found out.
I was told that to feed them one had to pour the feed into their trough from outside the pen...I was only about 10 or so. I decided to go into the pen, with the pigs, to feed them and to get closer to them..To get to know them....
Well, I lug in the feed and try to get to the trough to put the feed in there. The pigs, all 6 of them, really do have beady eyes and they all started to stare at me....And then, realizing I was going to feed them, started toward me. I started to back up as they approached me....The faster I backed up the faster the porkies went....my feet got tangled up, I fell backwards into what could only be described as a quagmire of pig poop, mud and, now, pig food, as the buckets, two of them, went flying into the air. Fortunately the pigs, seeing the food scatter everywhere, went for the food and ignored me, as I struggled to get out of the pen.
That evening, around the supper table, Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins said they would find something else for me to do.
That something else was to go out into the fields and "collect" the cows, bringing them in for milking. It seemed simple enough.
Find cows, call out "Bossy Bossy Bossy" and they would make there way to the barn. Parts one and two accomplished.
Now, the cows, when they get to the barn, walked down a passageway which leads to the pens. I, in my infinite wisdom, decide that I am going to stand in the passageway and pet each cow as it goes by...wrong.
After first 7 cows go by and I have patted each one, number 8 comes along and gives me a look that said "boy, don't touch me, hear." I patted it...It then decides to turn and give me a look...Unfortunately it is a very narrow passageway and this cow has me sandwiched between it and the wall....I could not breath. This was serious....I was in deep trouble...I poked the cow in the eye. Fortunately that worked and it sauntered along to the pen. I was sore for a few days and, as Mr. Jenkins told me, lucky not to be crushed.
That evening......…
New job was milking the cows. Never did it before and Mr. Jenkins showed me how to do it. Next day, after HE had brought in the cows, it was up to me to help milking the cows. And, wouldn't you know it, it was cow number 8, the one now named "Crusher"...that I had to milk.
I could swear that this cow remembered who it was who had poked it in the eye.
As much as I tried there was no milk forthcoming. The cow was holding out.
So, I squeezed the teat really hard...Wrong move yet again. Did you know that a cow can jump AND kick at the same time? Not me! It did just that, causing the cow next to it to be startled, that one did the same thing, knocking Mr. Jenkins, who was milking it, off the stool onto his back, spilling the almost full bucket.
With that the other cows got agitated and, once again, all hell broke loose with mooing and kicking and spilled milk everywhere along with dust and curses.
At dinner that evening.....
New job was to cut the front and back lawns with a push mower. That seemed easy, no animals to get into trouble with. First day out I go to mow the lawn.
After about 10 minutes I notice, in the barnyard is a rather large pig...really large, waddling along. Now, I had never heard of a boar. It is, apparently, a male pig that has one mood...bad.
This pig looks like it could use some attention..it looked lonely. So, out I go into the barnyard to say hello to my new friend. As I approached the pig it slowly raised it's rather large head, which, I noticed, became larger the closer I got.
It started to grunt and, being young, I thought it was saying hello. It actually was not.
Well, I did not know that a pig this large could run so fast...that said, I didn't know I could run that fast! It started at a very slow trot that turned into a full out gallop....I figured out that it was not running toward me to be friendly.
This pig chased me around the barnyard, through the front yard, over the flowerbed....flowers flying everywhere, through the vegetable garden and I made it into the outhouse....where I stayed...with the pig waiting for me to emerge.
After a very long time I heard Mr. Jenkins yelling that, if anyone was in the outhouse, to stay there as the Boar was loose. No kidding. I yelled out that it was me. I heard Mr. Jenkins say " I'm not surprised." Whatever that meant.
Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins eventually rounded up the boar and put him back in his pen. They released me from the outhouse, surveyed the damage done by Mr. Pig and myself and stood shaking their heads.
What was left for me to do. Around the supper table that night the family... Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins, their daughter, who was 19 and two older sons aged 23 and 25, had to decide what it was I could do and not destroy the farm. I think they had a vote and it was decided that maybe I could paint the fences with the understanding I NOT visit any pigs, leave the chickens alone, don't go near the horses and stay away from the cows.
Next morning out I went, pail of white paint, brushes and the family probably praying that nothing go wrong.
So, I painted.....And then I saw the pond with the ducks......