How do you feel about looking up friends you haven't seen in decades?

fuzzybuddy

fuzzybuddy

SF VIP
Location
The Sticks, Northeast PA.
I got nostalgic for the guys I met while I was in the Navy. When you think about it, I knew these guys for just a few months, but I have vivid memories of them. It's been well over 50 years since I've heard of them. I thought about looking them up. Surprisingly, a lot of people have said not to do it. I guess I know I'm not going to meet that 18year old guy again, but a 70+ geezer. I dunno. What do you think?
 

We went back to Denver in 2010...to visit relatives, and attend the 50th anniversary of my high school graduation. Out of nearly 600 who graduated, about 250 showed up...the rest had probably moved away, or passed away, or had no interest. I took along my old yearbook, and I was hard pressed to recognize more than a dozen or so. I do continue to exchange e-mails with one of the guys I knew from the USAF, who lives in Plano, Tx., but his health is waning, so I may not have him much longer.
 

I've kept track of the few friends that I've made over the years.

As far as acquaintances from high school, work, etc... I have no interest in them and they don't appear to have any interest in me.

Let sleeping dogs lie.:) :playful::eek:nthego:

arthur-heyer-let-sleeping-dogs-lie.jpg
 
Sometimes I'll think about people I haven't seen in a long time - I'll wonder where they are, what they're doing, etc. But then I'll remember WHY I haven't seen them, or why I stopped seeing them.
 
win231 said:
Sometimes I'll think about people I haven't seen in a long time - I'll wonder where they are, what they're doing, etc. But then I'll remember WHY I haven't seen them, or why I stopped seeing them.
Click to expand...

That's the thing, there are reasons explicit or implied that people stopped seeing each other. Some literally move on. If people really wanted to stay in touch they would call or send a real letter or note, not a form letter xmas card.

I know people who want absolutely nothing to do with old friends partly to maintain their image and/or cover up poop. I got a lecture from someone for talking to one of their old friends because that friend knew the crowd their ex hung around with(hint-nasty break up)

But in the day and age of social media and internet resources if somebody really wanted to say hi, how are you doing they could do it. But do they want to. Sometimes it's best to move on and look at the past as a closed chapter. A continuous relationship shouldn't be forced, contrived or feel like work or an obligation.
 
Just had lunch this week with a fellow that I hadn't seen in 27 years. We worked together and he took over my position when I retired. Also get together, from time to time, with the best man at our wedding, back in 1956. We were high school friends back then, in '50-'51 and have stayed in touch over the years.

As for high school reunions, we get an invite each time but only went once -the 15th year after graduation. That was in 1966 and that was one too many for us. Never attended another.
 
I do enjoy tracking down old friends. Sometimes, there's nothing there for us to talk about. Sometimes, we really pick it back up again.

I've been trying to track down my Maid of Honor, from 50 years ago. About 45 years ago, she got involved with some extreme religious group and asked us not to contact her, as she couldn't be associated with us, the unbelievers. I pleaded to still be friends, but never heard from her again. I think I have tracked her down but I'm nervous about the reception I might get. I'm trying to get my nerve up to send her a letter.
 
I think if your old friends had been close, a lot of fun and you just drifted apart over the years it might be interesting to meet again now you’re all older, see how their lives had turned out, but I would definately contact them first to make sure they were up for it, not just turn up out of the blue if you happened to be in their area...
 
Well some of your lost friends may have gone to the other side. That could be a downer. But i have reconnected with a few people. Some are still in the same little town. Theres nothing wrong with doing this. If you wonder then try and find them.
 
I've hooked up with several friends I went to school with and love it.

Talkin bout the stupid things we did "way back when".

Thankin God we have grown up......

On the other hand findin out those who have passed is not so much fun.......
 
Oddly enough on my birthday last month I hooked up with some friends from high school. My brother met up with me in Toronto to see a jazz band he had started playing with in high school. These friends still played in the band but he didn’t tell me so when one of them went to hug me during intermission, I wasn’t too happy but soon discovered who it was. He was a guy in my music class who I was quite fond of and it was fun seeing him again.
The band sounded great and it was so much fun. Here is the band I saw. My brother is definitely more into jazz than I am
AAE43979-10C9-407D-98A8-43C901E2C98D.jpg

396E62CF-8036-4917-A0ED-FDA5ED705AB4.jpg

Now tomorrow night I’m going to see a quintet jazz band where I’m going to see an old girlfriend of mine that I’ve known for over 50 years. There entire family were friends with our family but her parents have since died. I’m getting a bit nervous but it will be fun to see her. I’ll take some pictures of the band.
 
I struggle with that routinely, guess cause lonesome...I suppose...but never really do it. most. if not all are dead -anyone still alive may have dementia or worse if anything is worse...but it is safe bet they do not give a s*** about me or they would have looked me up ...even though I have gone to great effort not to be easily found...but anymore with internet...hard not to be found unless you live in the forest. -so best let sleeping dogs lie..or lay...maybe the are lying layers..that is my take never the less I wonder....often-especially about an old love...
 
Falcon said:
None close enough to visit often. Others: Keep in touch via internet or phone. Few & few are left as the years go by.
Click to expand...

That's the worse part.... finding out how many are gone.

I'm still trying to find a few......

It's strange though how you can kinda just pick up where you left off and talk to them as if it was years ago.
 
I say find who you can if they are on your mind. All the friends I can remember have already past on and I regret I did not reach out sooner
 
Hooked up with an old friend tonight. My brother, my nephew, my friend and her husband went to see a jazz quintet tonight. It was a really fancy place. Many were dressed up and at intermission drinks were served. It was a real ritzy event.
I hadn’t seen this friend in about 20 years and have known her since I was 5 years old. We both came to Canada just months apart and they used to live down the street from us. It was so very excited so I got my brother to take a picture of us at the coffee shop afterwards. Not knowing the dress code I was dressed casually we HERE is my girlfriend that I’ve known for 54 years. We laughed. We cried. It was fun.

2A630B8D-6739-4F86-B854-1F64524264F6.jpg
 
Thanks Holly. She does look a bit like an older sister.
A much older sister. :eek:nthego:
Anyway I invited her to our summer BBQ this year and we agreed to keep in touch.
Get this! Her husband leaves her by herself for three months every summer. I couldn’t believe it.
If my husband did that he’d be best off not coming back. :mad::confused:
 
paxtonstafford said:
I struggle with that routinely, guess cause lonesome...I suppose...but never really do it. most. if not all are dead -anyone still alive may have dementia or worse if anything is worse...but it is safe bet they do not give a s*** about me or they would have looked me up ...even though I have gone to great effort not to be easily found...but anymore with internet...hard not to be found unless you live in the forest. -so best let sleeping dogs lie..or lay...maybe the are lying layers..that is my take never the less I wonder....often-especially about an old love...
Click to expand...

Not only do I have no social media profile I catch flack from others for not responding to emails with-in hours. They want instant responses, if not you are in the contact dog house-ah the peace and quiet.

The only reason many old classmates want to 'reach out' and are satisfied with contact with anyone is that there is no one else. Old classmates frequently tend to be the consolation prize for those that wouldn't give one the time of day or recognize them on the street a year after graduation.

But I rest assured of my peace. I recently did something I never thought I would do. I was looking for something else in my old school town. Class of websites came up in search results. I relented and searched my class-there are none-lol. Classes before and after had one but apparently the year I graduated has no social media presence unless there on facebook or something. YES!
 
paxtonstafford said:
I struggle with that routinely, guess cause lonesome...I suppose...but never really do it. most. if not all are dead -anyone still alive may have dementia or worse if anything is worse...but it is safe bet they do not give a s*** about me or they would have looked me up ...even though I have gone to great effort not to be easily found...but anymore with internet...hard not to be found unless you live in the forest. -so best let sleeping dogs lie..or lay...maybe the are lying layers..that is my take never the less I wonder....often-especially about an old love...
Click to expand...
Hmmmmm.... well I’m not a liar but I do live in the forest .
WhatInThe said:
Not only do I have no social media profile I catch flack from others for not responding to emails with-in hours. They want instant responses, if not you are in the contact dog house-ah the peace and quiet.

The only reason many old classmates want to 'reach out' and are satisfied with contact with anyone is that there is no one else. Old classmates frequently tend to be the consolation prize for those that wouldn't give one the time of day or recognize them on the street a year after graduation.
Click to expand...
I’m not on Facebook either or any other social media except for this site and one other and perhaps the reason most people reach out is because they are lonely but I think it depends on the people you are meeting up with, how old they are and how you met in the first place.

In my particular case it was the love of playing a musical instrument that brought us back together and I have no regrets. Oddly enough I am a loner. My brother is the passive socialist in our family and I’m glad he reached out to me and helped reconnect me to these people from my past. Sure it’s nerve wracking but worth it.
 
I have no interest at all. I'm on Facebook only to keep up with the kids and grandkids and do not list my maiden name. Many of my good friends have passed on and I have no desire to contact or be contacted by acquaintances from way back. I have my family and friends who are left and that's enough for me.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top