A man...was it me or him?

I'm glad you came back. This thread needed some closure. I was reading it, not realizing the date. Three-quarters through the first page, I realized this happened a while ago and thought I read it for nothing. Thanks for coming back and not leaving it hanging.

Sorry it didn't work out, but sounds like you dodged a bullet.

Sippican said:

And this is why good men walk away.
He 'dropped' her because he realized there was too much drama. He did it out of self preservation.

Click to expand...

Somehow I get the impression that you aren't being very charitable when it comes to this lady's position and perspective. We women have grown up with the admonition to 'beware of men, they only want one thing' and it affects our entire perspective long into our senior years. Fear of being used, abused and then dumped for the next new thing. Or if no romantic relationship is involved, just a fear of being at the mercy of someone who is physically stronger than us. My mom is 87 years old, long past wanting a relationship, but she's afraid of having someone come in to do repairs on her house even though they're necessary. Fear of being overpowered when she's unable to protect herself.

I completely understand how difficult it is to be the man in a potential relationship and having to stick your neck out, and be the one to ask because that's the way our societies have ordered things. But women don't get defensive and self protective for no reason or on a whim. And maybe too, as we get older we aren't in the rush that men are to push that relationship as fast as possible. Maybe that guy should have just let the relationship develop at a natural pace rather than jumping straight to 'I want to have a relationship with you'. That sounds scary to most women.

Letting a relationship develop slowly is usually the way to go. Two of the best relationships I have had in these later years of my life have been the result of a casual but warm friendship, that developed over time into something more. Interestingly, in both case the woman made the first ‘advances’ to move beyond platonic friendship. Those are interesting stories in themselves. Alas, both relationships ended for the same reason, She moved far away to be closer to her children and grand children. I can’t blame either for that.