My close relative's disregard for her own health

Nah, other than the fire alarm situation which has now been rectified, the other things are not putting her in significant danger at all

they may not be super ideal or not to your preference - but it is not your problem

Stop trying to persuade her - she is an adult of sound mind who can make her own choices.

You say you are for freedom of choice - well, learn to respect the choices of others even if they are different from your own.

forget advice on how to persuade her - wrong question. what you need is advice on how to back off.
 

Bottom line is that you cant persuade anybody to do what they don't want to do, especially someone who has lived as long as she has. Just ask people who try to get loved ones to go into treatment programs for drugs or alcohol. You can talk till you're blue in the face. It has to be her choice. I take it you feel really close to your cousin and love her a great deal...for you to be so concerned. I agree with others that you need to leave it alone.
 
1. Either the OP is a troll.

2. Or the OP needs to MYOB.

3. I have cooked with a gas stove in three different homes since the 1990’s. I just had a complete physical including blood work and, except for the injuries that are farm & horse related, the doctor is amazed at how healthy my 78 year old self is.

My husband passed last year and I am managing my farmette and horses alone. Thank goodness my family doesn’t have the nose problems you have. They check on me but they don’t stick their noses in so deep that I would have to block their phone numbers, as they live 10 hours away.
 

Imogene said:
1. Either the OP is a troll.

2. Or the OP needs to MYOB.
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1 & 2 are not mutually exclusive.

Imogene said:
My husband passed last year and I am managing my farmette and horses alone. Thank goodness my family doesn’t have the nose problems you have. They check on me but they don’t stick their noses in so deep that I would have to block their phone numbers, as they live 10 hours away.
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Good on you for staying on the 'farmette' (love that word). I hope that you can stay there as long as possible.
My wife (66) and I (71) are contemplating moving to Tasmania, where it's possible to buy a smaller rural block up to 5 or even 10 acres.
 
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I wish I had a gas range, but the house had electric when I bought it, so I tolerate it Before that, I cooked 30 years on gas. I've also use Teflon skillets for many years.
 
dani_inf said:
Perhaps I wasn't clear enough in the beginning, but I'm looking for advice on how to persuade her, and that doens't involve me forcing her into something or having her declared insane. Mostly I'm looking for people with similar experiences that have managed to get them to change their minds.

I'm all for freedom of choice, but then again I do become concerned when these choices are putting her in significant danger, and there's an easy way to remove that danger.


I appreciate your opinions.
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Dani why should she have to be persuaded? Why can't she just live her life the way she wants?
 
dani_inf said:
Hi,

Forums can be such a useful thing!

I'm posting here, because I've got a close relative (baby boomer generation), who I've recently noticed is very neglectful when it comes to her own health:
- There's strong evidence that a local steel factory nearby her home is causing serious air pollution (people noticing black sediment on their window sills and cars, also very small metal particles etc.) and things like this can cause serious illnesses (cancer, lung disease, stroke, heart disease etc.). I mentioned this to her, along with a news article that reported about this and strongly suggested to her that she has an air filtration system installed, instead of airing her flat via the windows, yet she's refusing and doesn't seem to consider this as a big issue at all. She can easily afford the filtration system.
- She's cooking on gas, and is refusing to have a fire alarm installed, despite me offering to come and install it for her. I sent her several articles reporting on people saved by a fire alarm to demonstrate their effectiveness. After a lot of nagging I somehow managed to have her install at least a CO alarm.
- She also cooks with a teflon coated pan, and is using steel utensils when taking the food out of it. Multiple times, I've warned her that this is dangerous, since damaged teflon can leak into food and is toxic and urged her to use plastic or wooden utensils, yet she doesn't see this as an issue either.

There are also other things like her propensity to consume unhealthy food etc.

She's also quite stingy when it comes to all kinds of things, and is focused solely on the price, almost completely neglecting the health impacts (e.g. cooking on gas vs electricity).
She has also several times mentioned that if she ever gets seriously ill, as in a chronic illness, she wouldn't want to be a burden to her close ones.

I consider all of this to be very worrying signs that she values her own health very little. Given that my recommendations, backed up by health science, aren't really working, I'm wondering what are some other ways to get her to value her own health more?

Greatly appreciate any advice here!

Dani
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I'm a baby boomer, and I advise that you let her live in peace. It's up to her if she want to add any systems or not. Back when I was a child, everyone used a gas stove, electric stoves weren't around yet. And many prefer cooking with gas. Years ago many people used teflon pans, and continue to use them by choice. I use the newer non-stick pans and have an electric stove.....but that is my choice.

Stop hounding her, it's her life and her business. Don't be so selfish as to make the winter of her life miserable. I personally would refuse to even speak with you, I can imagine how you dampen her mood and spirit. Nice that you're concerned, but after your suggestions aren't taken, you just become rude by insisting.

How old are you to be giving a mature woman so much advice? How old are you where you're wiser than she is. She doesn't live to please you, remember that. Make a suggestion once, then walk away and leave the poor woman to enjoy her life.

She can be frugal without you labeling her 'stingy', and if I become seriously ill, I don't want to be a burden on anyone either. Very personal decision, hers and hers alone.
 
I think if I were her…and knew you to be coming for a visit….i would sprinkle coal dust on my window ledges…borrow all the teflon pans I could get my neighbors to lend. I would fill the fridge with energy drinks and fast food. I would leave cigs burning in about 100 ash trays around the house. You would find me smoking pot and drinking whiskey while I gleefully awaited your arrival and input. Oh…and smoke detectors? None!!
 
Muskrat said:
I think if I were her…and knew you to be coming for a visit….i would sprinkle coal dust on my window ledges…borrow all the teflon pans I could get my neighbors to lend. I would fill the fridge with energy drinks and fast food. I would leave cigs burning in about 100 ash trays around the house. You would find me smoking pot and drinking whiskey while I gleefully awaited your arrival and input. Oh…and smoke detectors? None!!
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You are positively naughty to the max, @Muskrat . 😁(y)
 
dani_inf said:
Hi,

Forums can be such a useful thing!

I'm posting here, because I've got a close relative (baby boomer generation), who I've recently noticed is very neglectful when it comes to her own health:
- There's strong evidence that a local steel factory nearby her home is causing serious air pollution (people noticing black sediment on their window sills and cars, also very small metal particles etc.) and things like this can cause serious illnesses (cancer, lung disease, stroke, heart disease etc.). I mentioned this to her, along with a news article that reported about this and strongly suggested to her that she has an air filtration system installed, instead of airing her flat via the windows, yet she's refusing and doesn't seem to consider this as a big issue at all. She can easily afford the filtration system.
- She's cooking on gas, and is refusing to have a fire alarm installed, despite me offering to come and install it for her. I sent her several articles reporting on people saved by a fire alarm to demonstrate their effectiveness. After a lot of nagging I somehow managed to have her install at least a CO alarm.
- She also cooks with a teflon coated pan, and is using steel utensils when taking the food out of it. Multiple times, I've warned her that this is dangerous, since damaged teflon can leak into food and is toxic and urged her to use plastic or wooden utensils, yet she doesn't see this as an issue either.

There are also other things like her propensity to consume unhealthy food etc.

She's also quite stingy when it comes to all kinds of things, and is focused solely on the price, almost completely neglecting the health impacts (e.g. cooking on gas vs electricity).
She has also several times mentioned that if she ever gets seriously ill, as in a chronic illness, she wouldn't want to be a burden to her close ones.

I consider all of this to be very worrying signs that she values her own health very little. Given that my recommendations, backed up by health science, aren't really working, I'm wondering what are some other ways to get her to value her own health more?

Greatly appreciate any advice here!

Dani
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How does she feel? If she has no health issues I'd say leave her alone because living life her way seems to be treating her just fine. She doesn't conform to a standard. So what?
 
dani_inf said:
Hi,

Forums can be such a useful thing!

I'm posting here, because I've got a close relative (baby boomer generation), who I've recently noticed is very neglectful when it comes to her own health:
- There's strong evidence that a local steel factory nearby her home is causing serious air pollution (people noticing black sediment on their window sills and cars, also very small metal particles etc.) and things like this can cause serious illnesses (cancer, lung disease, stroke, heart disease etc.). I mentioned this to her, along with a news article that reported about this and strongly suggested to her that she has an air filtration system installed, instead of airing her flat via the windows, yet she's refusing and doesn't seem to consider this as a big issue at all. She can easily afford the filtration system.
- She's cooking on gas, and is refusing to have a fire alarm installed, despite me offering to come and install it for her. I sent her several articles reporting on people saved by a fire alarm to demonstrate their effectiveness. After a lot of nagging I somehow managed to have her install at least a CO alarm.
- She also cooks with a teflon coated pan, and is using steel utensils when taking the food out of it. Multiple times, I've warned her that this is dangerous, since damaged teflon can leak into food and is toxic and urged her to use plastic or wooden utensils, yet she doesn't see this as an issue either.

There are also other things like her propensity to consume unhealthy food etc.

She's also quite stingy when it comes to all kinds of things, and is focused solely on the price, almost completely neglecting the health impacts (e.g. cooking on gas vs electricity).
She has also several times mentioned that if she ever gets seriously ill, as in a chronic illness, she wouldn't want to be a burden to her close ones.

I consider all of this to be very worrying signs that she values her own health very little. Given that my recommendations, backed up by health science, aren't really working, I'm wondering what are some other ways to get her to value her own health more?

Greatly appreciate any advice here!

Dani
Click to expand...
Can't think of anything more you could do or say. She doesn't care.
 
I expected that more of you are going to be able to relate in terms of valuing your own health more, especially given that poor air quality is one of the biggest killers, ahead of car accidents for example, but to my surprise that doesn't seems to be the case. Nevertheless, thank you very much for your opinions!
 
dani_inf said:
I expected that more of you are going to be able to relate in terms of valuing your own health more, especially given that poor air quality is one of the biggest killers, ahead of car accidents for example, but to my surprise that doesn't seems to be the case. Nevertheless, thank you very much for your opinions!
Click to expand...
People value independence and the right to self determination more than anything else. We each will look after our own health.
 
Muskrat said:
I think if I were her…and knew you to be coming for a visit….i would sprinkle coal dust on my window ledges…borrow all the teflon pans I could get my neighbors to lend. I would fill the fridge with energy drinks and fast food. I would leave cigs burning in about 100 ash trays around the house. You would find me smoking pot and drinking whiskey while I gleefully awaited your arrival and input. Oh…and smoke detectors? None!!
Click to expand...
images
:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 

dani_inf said:
I expected that more of you are going to be able to relate in terms of valuing your own health more, especially given that poor air quality is one of the biggest killers, ahead of car accidents for example, but to my surprise that doesn't seems to be the case. Nevertheless, thank you very much for your opinions!
Click to expand...


I value my own health - and I do things that will have major impact on that - healthy weight, exercise, don't smoke, alcohol in moderation etc

Trivial thinks like teflon pans, gas vs electric cooking etc - I don't worry about. You are seeing them way out of proportion

and anyway the issue here isn't you valuing your own health - this isnt about your choices.

It is about someone else making their own choices and you backing off to let her do that. she can make her own choices without you nagging her to do things your way.
 
Bretrick said:
Born in Tasmania and left there in 1988.
I live in Perth, never lived in North Bunbury
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I lived in Yanchep for 25 years, so I've heard all the jokes about needing a cut lunch and a water bag just to get there. Now it's fully built up from Two Rocks to Mandurah, South Geraldton to North Bunbury. 😜
For those not in the know the greater Perth area is the longest city in Australia sandwiched between the Indian Ocean and the Darling scarp.
 

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