When it comes to relationships does size matter?
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David777
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When I grew up in the 1950/60s where I grew up about several California suburban areas, both other male and female kids seemed to be greatly affected by others heights. As a 5'6", slim Caucasian male, I was almost always the shortest male during each K-12 grade, so had considerable experience noticing how others treated one another. My middle to upper class suburban areas were always 98% Caucasian due to real estate red lining. Was also usually the youngest because I began kindergarten with a birth date that should have started the following year. Of course, this was the era of "Tall, Dark, and Handsome".
I also went to 10 different K12 schools as my father often moved our large family. At each new school I began, I was always about the last boy chosen for any team sports until months passed and others noticed I had strong athletic skills haha. By time I got to high school, it was obvious that the most embarrassing thing for more attractive than average, socially active girls was to be seen with shorter males. The worst situation was at school sponsored dances where many girls laughed and pushed the shortest, least attractive and now embarrassed girls towards short males.
When I went into the USAF during the Viet Nam War, the Basic Training TI's immediately made the tallest guys squad leaders and the shortest (me) road guards, haha. As an adult, I quickly came to understand that with all else unknown, more attractive than average, socially active women will almost always avoid short men for possible relationships especially for possible marriage intents until they find out they have wealth and social power.
There was once a 60 Minutes segment on short men in the New York City area where they had groups of a range of women behind a blocking screen question and evaluate a range of men wearing various career clothing. Regardless of what the men wore, say business suits versus casual clothing, women invariably avoided the short men.
Then to evaluate how businesses felt about hiring men of different heights, they had a couple of stock broker firm persons looking at the same group. Invariably they gushed all over the tall men and were not at all interested in even talking to the best dressed short men even after they provided some elite university education credentials. That is exactly the era I grew up in.
The interesting thing to this story is as immigrants have now flooded our USA, with many of those men about my height so the whole importance of height in this era is vastly different. I suspect many taller persons still harbor the same biased height attitudes. But just as with race issues, they won't openly express their attitudes in public.
I also went to 10 different K12 schools as my father often moved our large family. At each new school I began, I was always about the last boy chosen for any team sports until months passed and others noticed I had strong athletic skills haha. By time I got to high school, it was obvious that the most embarrassing thing for more attractive than average, socially active girls was to be seen with shorter males. The worst situation was at school sponsored dances where many girls laughed and pushed the shortest, least attractive and now embarrassed girls towards short males.
When I went into the USAF during the Viet Nam War, the Basic Training TI's immediately made the tallest guys squad leaders and the shortest (me) road guards, haha. As an adult, I quickly came to understand that with all else unknown, more attractive than average, socially active women will almost always avoid short men for possible relationships especially for possible marriage intents until they find out they have wealth and social power.
There was once a 60 Minutes segment on short men in the New York City area where they had groups of a range of women behind a blocking screen question and evaluate a range of men wearing various career clothing. Regardless of what the men wore, say business suits versus casual clothing, women invariably avoided the short men.
Then to evaluate how businesses felt about hiring men of different heights, they had a couple of stock broker firm persons looking at the same group. Invariably they gushed all over the tall men and were not at all interested in even talking to the best dressed short men even after they provided some elite university education credentials. That is exactly the era I grew up in.
The interesting thing to this story is as immigrants have now flooded our USA, with many of those men about my height so the whole importance of height in this era is vastly different. I suspect many taller persons still harbor the same biased height attitudes. But just as with race issues, they won't openly express their attitudes in public.
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Victor
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Does height size matter, not you know what?
In all my life, I never heard or read of a woman who wanted a short man, specifically. On dating sites or anywhere, even with petite women. I am short, so I noticed this. Sure, they may date shorter guys, possibly marry them, but it is not preferred in U.S. anyway.
I don't believe the nice consoling answers that women give. In their minds, tall is more masculine in western cultures. Of course that's untrue.
Silly.
In all my life, I never heard or read of a woman who wanted a short man, specifically. On dating sites or anywhere, even with petite women. I am short, so I noticed this. Sure, they may date shorter guys, possibly marry them, but it is not preferred in U.S. anyway.
I don't believe the nice consoling answers that women give. In their minds, tall is more masculine in western cultures. Of course that's untrue.
Silly.
Ronni
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I’m tall for a woman…5’8” and when I was young it was very important to me for my dates to be taller than I. That was sometimes problematic when I wore heels because then I’d be 5’10” or 5’11”
My ex was only an inch taller and he wouldn’t let me wear heels because he didn’t want me taller than him.
Ron’s 6 feet tall. I like that height, but it wouldn’t matter to me if he were shorter. At this point in my life looks and height mean nothing to me in a partner.
My ex was only an inch taller and he wouldn’t let me wear heels because he didn’t want me taller than him.
Ron’s 6 feet tall. I like that height, but it wouldn’t matter to me if he were shorter. At this point in my life looks and height mean nothing to me in a partner.
JustDave
Well-known Member
I've always been taller than the women I've been with. I don't think I was reacting to some subconscious need. It's that I was an average height for a male, and my girlfriends were all average for females.
But there was one time when I was struck by something odd. I had become a kind of a Dutch Uncle to a little girl of a coworker. I knew her from a newborn into her late elementary grades before I moved away. Her mother was much taller than I. So was her father and two older brothers.
I went back for a visit a few years ago, and the little girl was now in college, on the soccer team and basketball team. She was now taller than anyone in her family. I was saying goodbye to her and her mother and older brother, and we were talking about kids growing up, and this once little girl and her older brother were stretching themselves out in a friendly and joking "who's taller?" competition.
It was the first time I ever had this feeling of being towered over, which describes the feeling precisely. It was kind of unnerving, especially standing as close as we all were, and standing next to that "little" girl I had known since her berth, I had strain my neck to look up to her. It was a fun moment, but also uncomfortable. Whatever.
But there was one time when I was struck by something odd. I had become a kind of a Dutch Uncle to a little girl of a coworker. I knew her from a newborn into her late elementary grades before I moved away. Her mother was much taller than I. So was her father and two older brothers.
I went back for a visit a few years ago, and the little girl was now in college, on the soccer team and basketball team. She was now taller than anyone in her family. I was saying goodbye to her and her mother and older brother, and we were talking about kids growing up, and this once little girl and her older brother were stretching themselves out in a friendly and joking "who's taller?" competition.
It was the first time I ever had this feeling of being towered over, which describes the feeling precisely. It was kind of unnerving, especially standing as close as we all were, and standing next to that "little" girl I had known since her berth, I had strain my neck to look up to her. It was a fun moment, but also uncomfortable. Whatever.
fuzzybuddy
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I used to think size didn't matter. I'm 6 feet, and ex#1 was also 6 ft. She always complained about her height. One day, in a grocery store we got in a discussion about how guys don't like tall women. She said, "See that guy waiting in line at the checkout, I can make him move to another line." So, we got in line behind that guy. He was kind of on the short side. Her back was towards him, and she never looked at him, said anything-no contact at all. He puts his items on the counter, he gets flustered and gathers them up and goes to the back of a long line". She said, "See".
As a guy, I would never have thought men were that sensitive about women's height, when they are tallish.
As a guy, I would never have thought men were that sensitive about women's height, when they are tallish.
David777
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Neither the OP's linked article nor anyone herein has discussed an important reason for women's height bias against shorter men. It is common in vertebrate animal species where males physically compete for females, that larger sized male individuals are more likely to be stronger if they fight. In many species, only when two males are of near size will they actually fight. Otherwise, the smaller animal will retreat. That is likely a general species genetic factor because injuries due to battle can readily be fatal and reduce group numbers. A reason one see our pissin pet dogs aim high on their targets and try to sniff as high as they can on telephone pole bases that indicates if larger dogs are about
With humans, I expect it is more a result of recent millennium evolution once human civilizations arose or in areas where there was enough density for competition among groups for areas with productive food resources both fertile vegetated river areas and where meat animals were present. That most obviously played out in Mesopotamia about its two great rivers where animal grazing nomad tribes living in surrounding mountainous areas continually raided the several city states in the fertile plains that produced early agricultural products.
One has to reflect on the enormous difficulty many of our ancestors faced just being able to eat each day over decades of lifetimes with eventual starvation a primary reason most humans died. Since I've been studying ancient humans this year, it has become evident that across the planet, the greatest dangers to civilizations have always been other stronger groups of men that will take from those weaker that often resulted in stealing all food resources, weapons, valuable materials, taking young attractive child bearing age women and large healthy children, and killing everyone else they could not make slaves of.
Working against advantages of larger sized animals is that larger animals require more food and are more prone to injuries and genetic issues. Within civilized humans, larger men have also been preferred by overlords as warriors. Slavery has been an immense enterprise the last few millennia across the planet. A primary reason warmongering groups raided others had been to create warrior slaves and working forces of slaves to build infrastructures of elite ruling classes. And that especially played out in using slaves to build ancient city religious structures.
So the point of the above is human males have evolved to fight each other for resources. In modern human societies, that results in pecking orders among differing sized males and selective bias of women choosing mates. It is true that ordinary peasants have often been content to live peacefully in their environments, but that other aggressive humans have forced them to be protective.
For this modern Western civilization era person, the above plays out in smaller social groups where attractive women naturally feel safer with stronger men. In social situations, some larger men tend to be openly aggressive towards women that are with physically smaller weaker men. Even today at alcohol bars, saloons, pubs, and nightclubs, such frequently plays out with larger men picking intimidating confrontations with smaller men bringing in attractive women regardless of even marital status. In my early career years, larger men played the same game though less openly at corporate work places.
So this is not just about women making choices but also the general attitudes of larger (taller) men. And over the last century plus with the rise of science, technology, and communication, that magnified with media controlled by elites. The above noted, I will relate as an individual, I've managed to avoid much of the above by not being members of male social groups and rather living as a self-sufficient individual.
With humans, I expect it is more a result of recent millennium evolution once human civilizations arose or in areas where there was enough density for competition among groups for areas with productive food resources both fertile vegetated river areas and where meat animals were present. That most obviously played out in Mesopotamia about its two great rivers where animal grazing nomad tribes living in surrounding mountainous areas continually raided the several city states in the fertile plains that produced early agricultural products.
One has to reflect on the enormous difficulty many of our ancestors faced just being able to eat each day over decades of lifetimes with eventual starvation a primary reason most humans died. Since I've been studying ancient humans this year, it has become evident that across the planet, the greatest dangers to civilizations have always been other stronger groups of men that will take from those weaker that often resulted in stealing all food resources, weapons, valuable materials, taking young attractive child bearing age women and large healthy children, and killing everyone else they could not make slaves of.
Working against advantages of larger sized animals is that larger animals require more food and are more prone to injuries and genetic issues. Within civilized humans, larger men have also been preferred by overlords as warriors. Slavery has been an immense enterprise the last few millennia across the planet. A primary reason warmongering groups raided others had been to create warrior slaves and working forces of slaves to build infrastructures of elite ruling classes. And that especially played out in using slaves to build ancient city religious structures.
So the point of the above is human males have evolved to fight each other for resources. In modern human societies, that results in pecking orders among differing sized males and selective bias of women choosing mates. It is true that ordinary peasants have often been content to live peacefully in their environments, but that other aggressive humans have forced them to be protective.
For this modern Western civilization era person, the above plays out in smaller social groups where attractive women naturally feel safer with stronger men. In social situations, some larger men tend to be openly aggressive towards women that are with physically smaller weaker men. Even today at alcohol bars, saloons, pubs, and nightclubs, such frequently plays out with larger men picking intimidating confrontations with smaller men bringing in attractive women regardless of even marital status. In my early career years, larger men played the same game though less openly at corporate work places.
So this is not just about women making choices but also the general attitudes of larger (taller) men. And over the last century plus with the rise of science, technology, and communication, that magnified with media controlled by elites. The above noted, I will relate as an individual, I've managed to avoid much of the above by not being members of male social groups and rather living as a self-sufficient individual.
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I think in society we naturally gravitate towards men who are taller and women who are shorter because it just feels right and as mentioned it was romanticized that way in the movies. But to think that someone would be reduced to tears because of someone's height makes me question whether people are actually looking for love or looking for someone who is aesthetically pleasing to them.
Born_To_Lose
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- Worldwide
When I read the title of this post, I had to laugh. Not because of it’s sexual overtones, but I remember at my wife’s and mine wedding, we were discussing some of the dates we had. She was a blind date that was arranged by a friend of mine. She told me then and for the first time that she told her family that if I wasn’t at least 5 feet 10 inches tall, it was going to be a short date.
My wife was 5 feet 7 inches tall so she thought a man should be taller than her or no deal. When I arrived at her house, remember back in the day, the gentleman had to go to the door to meet his date. As we were leaving, she turned around and looked at her dad and told him ‘he will do.’ I asked her what was that all about and she told me that she would tell me someday. She told me on our wedding night.
And when I went for my first interview as an attorney, the secretary on the phone said I just need to ask you one more question. ‘How tall are you?’ Why is that important. The head of the firm won’t hire anyone under 6 feet. I was 5 feet 11 inches. She told me she was going to put down 6 feet and let him figure it out.
When I met the head of the firm, he asked me how tall was I and I told him 5-11. He said you told my secretary you were 6 feet. I told him, no, sir, I didn’t. He gave me the old eagle eye, but still hired me.
My wife was 5 feet 7 inches tall so she thought a man should be taller than her or no deal. When I arrived at her house, remember back in the day, the gentleman had to go to the door to meet his date. As we were leaving, she turned around and looked at her dad and told him ‘he will do.’ I asked her what was that all about and she told me that she would tell me someday. She told me on our wedding night.
And when I went for my first interview as an attorney, the secretary on the phone said I just need to ask you one more question. ‘How tall are you?’ Why is that important. The head of the firm won’t hire anyone under 6 feet. I was 5 feet 11 inches. She told me she was going to put down 6 feet and let him figure it out.
When I met the head of the firm, he asked me how tall was I and I told him 5-11. He said you told my secretary you were 6 feet. I told him, no, sir, I didn’t. He gave me the old eagle eye, but still hired me.
hollydolly
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- London England
WE have the exact opposite here to the last paragraph. The imigrants which have flooded our shores are very much taller than the indiginous population on average...
Sure we have tall men, and we have taller children... but these immigrants are ALL tall... the women tend to be no less than 5-7..or so.. and the men all 6 feet plus... their children this next generation coming up... will all be very tall.
My neighbours Romanians.. are both over average height.. and well built.. their twelve year old is taller than me..their 9 year old only a few inches shorter...
When I see the children today..British children and immigrant children walking home from school as they move through the streets in large groups ... it's like seeing a moving woodland, they're so incredibly tall like trees trunks ... nothing unsual about seeing a 14 year old at 6 feet tall
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I guess I was brainwashed about tall, dark and handsome 
I always seemed to like taller guys. I've had some shorter boyfriends though too.
I just would like a man to at least be my height which is 5'3 3/4 ". I never had a boyfriend shorter than me, though. I don't really know if that would bother me.
I always seemed to like taller guys. I've had some shorter boyfriends though too.I just would like a man to at least be my height which is 5'3 3/4 ". I never had a boyfriend shorter than me, though. I don't really know if that would bother me.
Dave03
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This reminds me of a funny story.
We were sitting in the lunchroom at work, and a guy I worked with, who was all of 5' 2" tall, was there.
A new girl was there and asked him his name.
He said Butch, and without missing a beat, she said, "They grow Butches a lot bigger than that where I come from"
I still chuckle about that.
We were sitting in the lunchroom at work, and a guy I worked with, who was all of 5' 2" tall, was there.
A new girl was there and asked him his name.
He said Butch, and without missing a beat, she said, "They grow Butches a lot bigger than that where I come from"
I still chuckle about that.
hollydolly
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How rude... ! I hate that. How would she have liked it if he'd replied about how ugly or fat she was....
Dave03
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- Dunder Mifflin, Scranton Branch
Oh, he didn't mind. He laughed louder than anybody.
hollydolly
SF VIP
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- London England
yes there you go... polite... even tho' he's probably had these kind of derogatory marks all his life.... he was a gentleman..she was no lady !
Medusa
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- Mid-Atlantic
More likely, he acted like he didn't mind. But comments like that are hurtful.
Granted, it was probably from a different time when people were less sensitive to each other's feelings, but I feel bad for the man, retrospectively.
I dated a woman in college who was "statuesque" and pretty striking. She was taller than me in her platform shoes but I didn't care. When we went out to clubs the other guys would look but I'd just think "this puny little guy got her". She never complained.
When I came out, I somehow always ended up with someone who was my height (5'8"). Hubby and I are the same height and when he puts on weight I get his hand-me-downs.
When I came out, I somehow always ended up with someone who was my height (5'8"). Hubby and I are the same height and when he puts on weight I get his hand-me-downs.
Medusa
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You, your husband, my husband and my boyfriend. 5'8"I dated a woman in college who was "statuesque" and pretty striking. She was taller than me in her platform shoes but I didn't care. When we went out to clubs the other guys would look but I'd just think "this puny little guy got her". She never complained.
When I came out, I somehow always ended up with someone who was my height (5'8"). Hubby and I are the same height and when he puts on weight I get his hand-me-downs.
MaidMarian
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- Baltimore, Maryland USA
It mattered to me. I was 5’8” ( I’m now 5’7”)and was attracted to tall men. Luckily, most men I dated were tall… some very tall.
I once dated a guy in college who played basketball and was 7 feet tall. He approached me because I was the tallest girl in the room the day we met.
My husband is 6’ 2” and doesn’t seem particularly tall to me after some of the guys I’ve dated.
I once dated a guy in college who played basketball and was 7 feet tall. He approached me because I was the tallest girl in the room the day we met.
My husband is 6’ 2” and doesn’t seem particularly tall to me after some of the guys I’ve dated.
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