Getting Personal Once Again...

Bretrick said:
I too am prone to tearing up.
Watching abused animal videos really saddens me.
Sad movies bring on tears.
Even movies that deal with happy families make me cry because I never had happiness in my childhood, teenage years.
I do not watch "happy family" movies because I know it will effect my negatively.
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Bretrick,
Except for a few years at the beginning, I never really had a happy marriage. Consequently, much like you, I can't stand loving husband/wife movies.

-David-
 

Twostep said:
The White Wolves are very comfortable in my head. SO knows them and so do a couple of close friends. Once a story line is on paper it is rigid not a story anymore which evolves.
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The printed or digital word is not rigid. The delete key. It is very much still a story that can evolve in any way. Just my two cents.

-David-
 
The first funeral I attended was for a friend. I must of been about 17. I somehow got started laughing and absolutely could not stop…hysterical. I always cry at weddings. I cry when I get the feeling something is very important to someone. I cry when others cry. But not always when others might. I am sorry about some things in my life…and totally without remorse for other…some would think terrible…things. David…forgive yourself…that is the only forgiveness that counts. Peace will follow.
 
I think more men are starting to embrace their vulnerable sides. It is brave of you to share yours here. I hope you can start to forgive yourself so you can start healing. From your account, you have nothing to feel guilty for. You lashed out due to the hurt you felt and that happens. We are only human after all. You were a good husband for 20 years or more, despite the verbal and emotional abuse you suffered. You made amends when your wife was on her dying bed. Now it's time for you to "make amends" with yourself.
 
When I witness functional, happy families, parents and their children interacting with some level of mutual respect and gladness, I'm gripped within myself with grief for everyone in my birth family and the endless loops of petty little hurts and recriminations that ricocheted back and forth between all of us. We were a joyless family and it all could have been so different.
I'm the only one of us still alive.
 
Repondering said:
When I witness functional, happy families, parents and their children interacting with some level of mutual respect and gladness, I'm gripped within myself with grief for everyone in my birth family and the endless loops of petty little hurts and recriminations that ricocheted back and forth between all of us. We were a joyless family and it all could have been so different.
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Same here.
 
I don't cry often and it used to bother me, it definitely bothers other people and has caused problems. Two wives, a couple gfs (one I was about to marry). Siblings, parents and friends.......Not a tear. When someone passes, I go off to myself and quietly mourn for about an hour. That's it. Strange thing is, sometimes a movie scene will make liquid form in my eyes. I'm not a cold person and do have feelings. I just manage them........and nope, never blow up after awhile.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
I think more men are starting to embrace their vulnerable sides. It is brave of you to share yours here. I hope you can start to forgive yourself so you can start healing. From your account, you have nothing to feel guilty for. You lashed out due to the hurt you felt and that happens. We are only human after all. You were a good husband for 20 years or more, despite the verbal and emotional abuse you suffered. You made amends when your wife was on her dying bed. Now it's time for you to "make amends" with yourself.
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OED,

I hope you were responding to my posts. If not, I apologize for hijacking your comments.

Very much easier said than done. However, I thank you for the sentiment. I have noticed that loneliness, sadness and malaise fosters more guilt. I can more-or-less stay on an even keel, but I can not feel happy. Life itself dulls that possibility, so far.

-David-
 
Oldeagle66 said:
I don't cry often and it used to bother me, it definitely bothers other people and has caused problems. Two wives, a couple gfs (one I was about to marry). Siblings, parents and friends.......Not a tear. When someone passes, I go off to myself and quietly mourn for about an hour. That's it. Strange thing is, sometimes a movie scene will make liquid form in my eyes. I'm not a cold person and do have feelings. I just manage them........and nope, never blow up after awhile.
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That's how I am. I wish I wasn't, but it cannot forcibly be changed. I sometimes feel that being that way makes it harder for me to process grief and move past it.
 
David later version said:
OED,

I hope you were responding to my posts. If not, I apologize for hijacking your comments.

Very much easier said than done. However, I thank you for the sentiment. I have noticed that loneliness, sadness and malaise fosters more guilt. I can more-or-less stay on an even keel, but I can not feel happy. Life itself dulls that possibility, so far.

-David-
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I was responding to you David and since you started the thread, I didn't "tag" you. I understand, from personal experience and that of others, that often things are easier said than done. I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time. I sincerely hope things get better for you.
 
David later version said:
My sister and I are very different people. Monday calls are not regimented; they are the minimum we agreed upon so we know how each other is doing. She is a senior (though slightly younger than me) as well.

I don't have any goals other than I would like to finish and publish the three novels I am working on.

-David-
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That sounds like a good goal but if I may, I suggest you select one novel as a priority and pour yourself into accomplishing that one. Then if practicable, take a break and refresh yourself.

Loneliness can be very debilitating but how much so depends on what you (we) decide to do about it. Perhaps completing the first of three unfinished novels will ease the loneliness feelings.
 
Warrigal said:
That sounds like a good goal but if I may, I suggest you select one novel as a priority and pour yourself into accomplishing that one. Then if practicable, take a break and refresh yourself.

Loneliness can be very debilitating but how much so depends on what you (we) decide to do about it. Perhaps completing the first of three unfinished novels will ease the loneliness feelings.
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I didn't mean to suggest that I want to complete all three at once. Many authors have several works in progress sitting around. I know exactly the order I wish to finish first. The problem is having the muse to draw on to sit down and begin writing again.
 
If I were OP, I would see professional help if the emotion spikes hinder a normal life. I am sure there are psycho drugs that can calm you down.
 
David later version said:
My Dad lived to 92. In the last decade of his life, he suffered from (what the extended family called) weepiness. I remember being embarrassed for him as he would cry at the drop of a hat. I now know what that was all about because, my friends, I am afflicted by the same thing now. I can feel my emotions becoming sad, not sad like I will occasionally get, but a condition that heightens one's emotional state.

I see a dramatic scene in a movie; I tear up. Every ad on Facebook that deals with a dying pet or the remembrance of a pet that has passed, I cry. Even a joyful scene in a movie, I weep. Sometimes when I look at Emma, I cry, or my wife's urn or the pictures of my parents, I am overwhelmed. It happens suddenly every time. It is generally brief but intense. If I did not live alone I would be embarrassed by the whole thing, but I have no need to filter my feelings or blunt my reactions. So, I let it flow. I don't remember any of my female relatives (aunts, grandmothers) suffering through this type of thing.

I decided that I would be brutally honest about myself with the friendly crowd on SF, but I realize some of the males here may scoff at being so open in return. I ask, Are there other males that are dealing with such emotions late in life? Any women?

Honestly,

-David-
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Sounds like a combination of various reasons for crying. Some people are born with a more sensitive nature and are more aware of things happening internally with themselves and others. There's nothing wrong with emotions or expressing them, it's part of being human. Although men are typically raised to shut off their emotional side (and some women all not all that emotionally intelligent either).

I am 70 and even though I am a sensitive person I have found that I have been seeming to be even more so the past couple of years. I do the same things you do in reaction to joyful or sad events, movies, pets, people passing. I think deeper feelings about life are getting stirred up maybe because I'm closer to the leaving it all.

I feel like "oh gosh" now that I'm just getting the hang of it all and realize all that I love and have loved, I'm already experiencing missing it. I want to be here longer to appreciate it all. It's kind of like being surprised that your childhood home or town has changed and you sort of long for the safe feeling of how it used to be, but now you know life differently.
 
A while back me, my ex-wife, my kids, and my grandkids all got together for a birthday celebration. 🎉 Afterwards as we walked back to our separate hotel rooms, She commented on how happy it made her to have “the family” together for an event.

It seemed a rather weird comment since her affair and her decision to leave us for the other man is the only reason we have not been able to have many such gatherings over the last decade.
 
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David later version said:
Kaddee,

I do not travel. I am at that stage where that holds no fascination for me. I'm sure my heart attack and extensive surgery has been instrumental in choosing isolation for myself. Home (while isolated) is my ultimate comfort zone. I have Emma, my beloved four-legged daughter, to keep me company. At one time I traveled a lot in my career installing large computer systems around the U.S. and, while I found different locations to be interesting, I was always glad to be back home. I have always been a homebody.

I have one sister who I video-call every Monday, two distant close male friends and 2 neighbors I count as friends. No other family.

I hope you enjoy Queensland!

-David-
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Dont mean to be to nosy…but was your operation open heart surgery as i believe it can have an effect on your emotional health ….Im not suggesting for one min you have any mental heath issues

I copied this @David later version

Overview


Yes, open heart surgery can cause weepiness and other emotional changes, often referred to as the "cardiac blues".This is a common reaction to the stress and physical trauma of surgery, and the emotional changes can include sadness, tearfulness, anxiety, and irritability. These feelings are usually temporary.

Here's a more detailed explanation:
  • Common Emotional Changes:
    Many patients experience emotional changes after open heart surgery, such as mood swings, irritability, crying easily, and a general feeling of sadness

 

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