Trila
Well-known Member
- Location
- North Central Arkansas
Glad you enjoyed it!Adorable...cheered me up on a bad day...thanks
Anything Scottish, just for fun!
- Thread starter Trila
- Start date
Mizmo
Well-known Member
- Location
- Ontario, Canada
Doesn't appeal to me at all..but he is quite funny
Furryanimal
Y gath o Gymru
- Location
- Wales
HEDDIE THE HAGGIS SHOCKS THE WINTER OLYMPICS, THEN GETS CUFFED
Spectators at the Winter Olympics were left utterly gobsmacked today after Heddie the Haggis barrelled onto the ski jump ramp, thundering down the inrun like a furry, whisky fuelled cannonball in a tartan jumpsuit.
Eyewitnesses in the crowd say Heddie appeared from behind a snow machine, strapped himself into a pair of skis fashioned on Irn Bru's coulour scheme and launched himself into the stratosphere.
What followed has already gone down in sporting history. Heddie soared through the sky, past the judges’ tower, past the safety barriers, and a staggering 20 METRES beyond the human world record, landing perfectly in a dramatic snow cloud before triumphantly brandishing a teacake to the crowd.
However, celebrations were short lived.
As Heddie slid gracefully to a stop, Olympic security swooped in, slapping tiny handcuffs on the legendary haggis for illegally entering the competition without accreditation, skis certified by FIS, or even lengthed limbs.
Officials confirmed Heddie will not be allowed to keep his record, stating
“If we accept this jump, we’d have to open the games to the unicorns, selkies, and Highland coos who are hanging about nearby and frankly, we’re not ready for that chaos.”
Meanwhile, fans have already started a petition and hashtags online:
#FreeHeddie
#LetTheHaggisFly
#WorldRecordOrWeRiot
Heddie the Haggis was last seen being escorted away in a snowmobile by police.
Spectators at the Winter Olympics were left utterly gobsmacked today after Heddie the Haggis barrelled onto the ski jump ramp, thundering down the inrun like a furry, whisky fuelled cannonball in a tartan jumpsuit.
Eyewitnesses in the crowd say Heddie appeared from behind a snow machine, strapped himself into a pair of skis fashioned on Irn Bru's coulour scheme and launched himself into the stratosphere.
What followed has already gone down in sporting history. Heddie soared through the sky, past the judges’ tower, past the safety barriers, and a staggering 20 METRES beyond the human world record, landing perfectly in a dramatic snow cloud before triumphantly brandishing a teacake to the crowd.
However, celebrations were short lived.
As Heddie slid gracefully to a stop, Olympic security swooped in, slapping tiny handcuffs on the legendary haggis for illegally entering the competition without accreditation, skis certified by FIS, or even lengthed limbs.
Officials confirmed Heddie will not be allowed to keep his record, stating
“If we accept this jump, we’d have to open the games to the unicorns, selkies, and Highland coos who are hanging about nearby and frankly, we’re not ready for that chaos.”
Meanwhile, fans have already started a petition and hashtags online:
#FreeHeddie
#LetTheHaggisFly
#WorldRecordOrWeRiot
Heddie the Haggis was last seen being escorted away in a snowmobile by police.
Last edited:
Furryanimal
Y gath o Gymru
- Location
- Wales
THE TRUE ORIGINS OF THE SUPPERBOWL, AND HOW IT CROSSED THE ATLANTIC
Long before Americans ever heard of a “Super Bowl,” Scotland had already perfected a far superior sport, a game that in time became known simply as The Supperbowl.
The story begins in the winter of 1947, some twenty years before the very first Supperbowl was officially recorded, when an ill fated experimental snack delivery lorry broke down on the road outside Stonehaven.
The truck wasn’t carrying ordinary snacks... inside were prototype chocolate and marshmallow biscuits, a secret test batch that would not be officially released to the public until 1956 under the now famous name “teacakes.”
Within minutes, two rival clans of haggis arrived at the scene, the tough, hill hardened Highland Haggis rolling down from the glens, and the sharper, faster Lowland Haggis sprinting up from the fields, both determined to claim the same mysterious, shiny foiled treats for themselves.
Rather than descending into total chaos, the two groups of haggis began circling each other around the stranded lorry, chattering angrily and slapping their paws on the road, until one particularly bold Lowland haggis picked up one of the prototype teacakes and hurled it across the tarmac sparking an unexpected contest that quickly felt less like a robbery and more like the birth of something bigger.
At this stage it wasn’t a sport, and there was no marked out field or formal rules, just pure haggis chaos. Both clans began launching and hurling the prototype teacakes back to their own side in frantic attempts to claim the most for themselves, which quickly escalated into full scale rivalry.
Within minutes, haggis were tackling haggis, leaping through the air for epic foil shimmering catches, and crashing into one another in a wild battle for dominance over the stranded lorry and its precious cargo.
By the time the bewildered lorry driver finally reappeared with help, the chaos had settled and the experimental teacake lorry had been thoroughly ransacked.
Yet instead of simply disappearing back into the hills, both clans of haggis lingered at the roadside, clearly aware that something remarkable had just happened.
What began as a desperate food scramble soon became a yearly tradition, and over time humans stepped in to formalise it, introducing clear rules, recognised teams, and organised matches.
The wild skirmish of 1947 gradually evolved into the structured game that would truly become The Supperbowl. Coincidentally, when the teacakes were finally released commercially in 1956, locals joked that they had already been “field-tested by haggis.”
As decades passed and Supperbowl traditions spread, adventurous Scots began travelling over the pond to America, carrying stories of teacake battles and haggis rivalries with them.
But once there, they hit a major problem, teacakes were almost impossible to find. Rather than abandon their beloved game, they improvised, picking up the locally available leather ball already being kicked around on American college fields.
Once established in their new home, these Scots staged informal Supperbowl style matches in fields, parks, and university grounds, still throwing their “imaginary teacakes” in fast, spiralling arcs.
Americans loved the spectacle, the high catches, heavy tackles, and territorial end zones, and gradually blended these ideas with their own previous games.
Over time, the teacakes were replaced entirely by the leather ball, the haggis were left behind, and the rules were tightened and out of that mix grew what we now call American football.
And so, while America built giant stadiums, celebrity halftime shows, and a global TV spectacle around its version of the game, Scotland quietly kept the original tradition alive.
Back in the U.S., because food was no longer used and no supper was actually had, the adapted game became known as the Super Bowl as a playful homage to its Scottish ancestor, even as it took on a life of its own across the Atlantic.
Each year, long after those first prototype teacake raids in 1947, Supperbowl continued to grow into its own national institution, still rooted in haggis rivalry, still centred on food, and still unmistakably Scottish in spirit.
That’s why, as millions tuned in to Super Bowl 68, the real drama was unfolding at home in Haggden Park, where the Stonehaven Sea-Haggis lifted the Supperbowl 88 trophy, proof that no matter how far the sport travelled, its heart always stayed in Scotland
Long before Americans ever heard of a “Super Bowl,” Scotland had already perfected a far superior sport, a game that in time became known simply as The Supperbowl.
The story begins in the winter of 1947, some twenty years before the very first Supperbowl was officially recorded, when an ill fated experimental snack delivery lorry broke down on the road outside Stonehaven.
The truck wasn’t carrying ordinary snacks... inside were prototype chocolate and marshmallow biscuits, a secret test batch that would not be officially released to the public until 1956 under the now famous name “teacakes.”
Within minutes, two rival clans of haggis arrived at the scene, the tough, hill hardened Highland Haggis rolling down from the glens, and the sharper, faster Lowland Haggis sprinting up from the fields, both determined to claim the same mysterious, shiny foiled treats for themselves.
Rather than descending into total chaos, the two groups of haggis began circling each other around the stranded lorry, chattering angrily and slapping their paws on the road, until one particularly bold Lowland haggis picked up one of the prototype teacakes and hurled it across the tarmac sparking an unexpected contest that quickly felt less like a robbery and more like the birth of something bigger.
At this stage it wasn’t a sport, and there was no marked out field or formal rules, just pure haggis chaos. Both clans began launching and hurling the prototype teacakes back to their own side in frantic attempts to claim the most for themselves, which quickly escalated into full scale rivalry.
Within minutes, haggis were tackling haggis, leaping through the air for epic foil shimmering catches, and crashing into one another in a wild battle for dominance over the stranded lorry and its precious cargo.
By the time the bewildered lorry driver finally reappeared with help, the chaos had settled and the experimental teacake lorry had been thoroughly ransacked.
Yet instead of simply disappearing back into the hills, both clans of haggis lingered at the roadside, clearly aware that something remarkable had just happened.
What began as a desperate food scramble soon became a yearly tradition, and over time humans stepped in to formalise it, introducing clear rules, recognised teams, and organised matches.
The wild skirmish of 1947 gradually evolved into the structured game that would truly become The Supperbowl. Coincidentally, when the teacakes were finally released commercially in 1956, locals joked that they had already been “field-tested by haggis.”
As decades passed and Supperbowl traditions spread, adventurous Scots began travelling over the pond to America, carrying stories of teacake battles and haggis rivalries with them.
But once there, they hit a major problem, teacakes were almost impossible to find. Rather than abandon their beloved game, they improvised, picking up the locally available leather ball already being kicked around on American college fields.
Once established in their new home, these Scots staged informal Supperbowl style matches in fields, parks, and university grounds, still throwing their “imaginary teacakes” in fast, spiralling arcs.
Americans loved the spectacle, the high catches, heavy tackles, and territorial end zones, and gradually blended these ideas with their own previous games.
Over time, the teacakes were replaced entirely by the leather ball, the haggis were left behind, and the rules were tightened and out of that mix grew what we now call American football.
And so, while America built giant stadiums, celebrity halftime shows, and a global TV spectacle around its version of the game, Scotland quietly kept the original tradition alive.
Back in the U.S., because food was no longer used and no supper was actually had, the adapted game became known as the Super Bowl as a playful homage to its Scottish ancestor, even as it took on a life of its own across the Atlantic.
Each year, long after those first prototype teacake raids in 1947, Supperbowl continued to grow into its own national institution, still rooted in haggis rivalry, still centred on food, and still unmistakably Scottish in spirit.
That’s why, as millions tuned in to Super Bowl 68, the real drama was unfolding at home in Haggden Park, where the Stonehaven Sea-Haggis lifted the Supperbowl 88 trophy, proof that no matter how far the sport travelled, its heart always stayed in Scotland
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Furryanimal
Y gath o Gymru
- Location
- Wales
SCOTLAND UNVEILS “PEHS” THE WORLD’S FIRST PIE DISPENSER
In a move that has left snack engineers both horrified and impressed, a new Scottish company, “Pehs International Dundee Ltd”, has officially launched a range of Scottish themed PEHS dispensers, loosely affiliated with the original PEZ brand. But make no mistake, these are NOT your average sweet dispensers.
Instead of tiny candies popping out of the top, the newly patented PEHS mechanism releases full pie sized pastries from the bottom, a revolutionary feat of engineering designed specifically for Scotland’s culinary priorities.
The designers confirmed that releasing the pies from the top was “physically impossible unless we were willing to decapitate Nessie.”
The six official designs, now proudly on sale across Scotland are,
• The Highland Coo Pehs, wrapped in tartan and dispensing classic steak pies.
• The Unicorn Pehs, releasing “magically warm” macaroni pies.
• The Nessie Pehs, dispensing legendary Scotch pies.
• The Haggis Pehs, launching traditional Scottish haggis pies.
• The Kelpie Pehs, metallic and menacing, serving mince and tatties pies.
• The Duke of Wellington Pehs including cone, dispensing full Scottish breakfast pies.
Engineers explained that the bottom release system was necessary because
“You simply cannot squeeze a proper Scottish pie through a neck. Physics, taste, and common sense all said ‘nae chance."
Early testing in Dundee has reportedly resulted in locals standing under the machines like it’s a pastry waterfall, waiting for hot pies to drop straight into their hands.
Dundee City Council has already hinted at installing PEHS machines on every street corner, replacing vending machines entirely, because apparently “nothing motivates a Dundonian quite like a mechanical pie launcher.”
One local summed it up perfectly
“We wanted flying cars… we got flying pies. Fair deal.”
Scotland has done it again
Furryanimal
Y gath o Gymru
- Location
- Wales
Air Hagg One
Air Hagg One is the official radio call sign used by the Royal Scottish Air Division for any aircraft carrying the sitting President of the Haggi Preservation Committee. It may also refer to the specially modified aircraft designated HA-01, the primary presidential transport.
Unlike conventional military aircraft, Air Hagg One combines advanced aviation engineering with… biological aerodynamics.
Reinforced fur lined fuselage for thermal insulation over Highland airspace, Dual engine turbo hagg propulsion system, Secure satellite communications allowing direct contact with The Highland Council, Save The Haggis task force and International Anti Poacher Units,
Advanced anti missile defence system known internally as Operation Furry Countermeasures, as well as mid air refuelling capability via whisky compatible intake valve.
The aircraft allows the President to travel globally, attending emergency preservation summits, whisky based trade negotiations, and urgent Haggis population briefings.
The designation “Air Hagg One” was formally established in 1953 following what is now known as, The Great Mid Air Mix-Up.
At the time, President Haggenhower was travelling aboard aircraft Hagg Force 8610 when air traffic control nearly confused the flight with a commercial service using the same number.
To prevent future incidents, the unique call sign “Air Hagg One” was permanently adopted whenever the President is onboard. Since then, no confusion has occurred.
Air Hagg One was photographed earlier today conducting low altitude manoeuvres over the Highlands, believed to be en route to an emergency summit on lava Pool poaching activity, Illegal whisky dam dismantling and the recent surge in underground haggis tunnel expansions
Air Hagg One is the official radio call sign used by the Royal Scottish Air Division for any aircraft carrying the sitting President of the Haggi Preservation Committee. It may also refer to the specially modified aircraft designated HA-01, the primary presidential transport.
Unlike conventional military aircraft, Air Hagg One combines advanced aviation engineering with… biological aerodynamics.
Reinforced fur lined fuselage for thermal insulation over Highland airspace, Dual engine turbo hagg propulsion system, Secure satellite communications allowing direct contact with The Highland Council, Save The Haggis task force and International Anti Poacher Units,
Advanced anti missile defence system known internally as Operation Furry Countermeasures, as well as mid air refuelling capability via whisky compatible intake valve.
The aircraft allows the President to travel globally, attending emergency preservation summits, whisky based trade negotiations, and urgent Haggis population briefings.
The designation “Air Hagg One” was formally established in 1953 following what is now known as, The Great Mid Air Mix-Up.
At the time, President Haggenhower was travelling aboard aircraft Hagg Force 8610 when air traffic control nearly confused the flight with a commercial service using the same number.
To prevent future incidents, the unique call sign “Air Hagg One” was permanently adopted whenever the President is onboard. Since then, no confusion has occurred.
Air Hagg One was photographed earlier today conducting low altitude manoeuvres over the Highlands, believed to be en route to an emergency summit on lava Pool poaching activity, Illegal whisky dam dismantling and the recent surge in underground haggis tunnel expansions
Mizmo
Well-known Member
- Location
- Ontario, Canada
Furryanimal
Y gath o Gymru
- Location
- Wales
Scotland Records Highest Annual Sales at Chippies & Petrol Stations as Valentine’s Day Arrives
New figures released this morning have confirmed that Valentine’s Day remains the single busiest period of the year for both Scottish chippies and petrol stations, as men across the country once again go all out to treat their partners to an evening of luxury and romance.
Retail experts say the annual surge actually begins on the evening of February 13th, when thousands of Scottish men suddenly experience a simultaneous moment of realisation commonly known as “Aw naw… it’s the morra.”
From this point onward, shops nationwide enter what economists now refer to as The Panic Buy Window.
Petrol stations report record sales of slightly crushed roses, heart shaped cards selected entirely based on how quickly they can be read, and last minute boxes of chocolates that were definitely not sitting next to the till since Christmas.
Meanwhile, local chippies experience unprecedented demand as partners are treated to what industry insiders describe as Scotland’s answer to gourmet dining. Popular romantic orders include single suppers shared in the car, chips & cheese mysteriously half eaten before reaching home, and the deeply intimate gesture of offering someone the last onion ring.
Relationship experts claim the tradition dates back generations, when Scottish courtship rituals involved proving devotion by braving horizontal rain, standing in a queue for 30 minutes, and successfully carrying multiple chippy bags without spilling vinegar.
One chippy owner explained,
“Ye can tell it’s Valentine’s straight away. Folk ordering things they normally wouldnae, extra sauce, a second sausage… pure romance.”
Despite criticism from abroad, locals insist the tradition remains deeply meaningful, with many couples agreeing nothing says love quite like sharing a warm chippy in silence while one person holds a bouquet bought beside the screenwash and de-icer.
Authorities have also reminded the public that buying flowers before 9:55pm on the 14th is technically allowed, although studies show only a small percentage of Scottish men are willing to take such unnecessary risks.
New figures released this morning have confirmed that Valentine’s Day remains the single busiest period of the year for both Scottish chippies and petrol stations, as men across the country once again go all out to treat their partners to an evening of luxury and romance.
Retail experts say the annual surge actually begins on the evening of February 13th, when thousands of Scottish men suddenly experience a simultaneous moment of realisation commonly known as “Aw naw… it’s the morra.”
From this point onward, shops nationwide enter what economists now refer to as The Panic Buy Window.
Petrol stations report record sales of slightly crushed roses, heart shaped cards selected entirely based on how quickly they can be read, and last minute boxes of chocolates that were definitely not sitting next to the till since Christmas.
Meanwhile, local chippies experience unprecedented demand as partners are treated to what industry insiders describe as Scotland’s answer to gourmet dining. Popular romantic orders include single suppers shared in the car, chips & cheese mysteriously half eaten before reaching home, and the deeply intimate gesture of offering someone the last onion ring.
Relationship experts claim the tradition dates back generations, when Scottish courtship rituals involved proving devotion by braving horizontal rain, standing in a queue for 30 minutes, and successfully carrying multiple chippy bags without spilling vinegar.
One chippy owner explained,
“Ye can tell it’s Valentine’s straight away. Folk ordering things they normally wouldnae, extra sauce, a second sausage… pure romance.”
Despite criticism from abroad, locals insist the tradition remains deeply meaningful, with many couples agreeing nothing says love quite like sharing a warm chippy in silence while one person holds a bouquet bought beside the screenwash and de-icer.
Authorities have also reminded the public that buying flowers before 9:55pm on the 14th is technically allowed, although studies show only a small percentage of Scottish men are willing to take such unnecessary risks.
Grailhunter57
Member
- Location
- Farmington, Mo
I love Scotland. Best fish and chips....cooked in lard and rolled in newspaper. Great pubs but it is hard to find beef....mostly mutton. Castle bed and breakfasts. My submarine was stationed over there.
Trila
Well-known Member
- Location
- North Central Arkansas
Welcome to The SF, and to The Scottish thread!
Mizmo
Well-known Member
- Location
- Ontario, Canada
I'm in luv
Furryanimal
Y gath o Gymru
- Location
- Wales
Scotland’s Giganticus Haggimus Tartantula
Deep within the moss covered glens and heather covered Highlands lurks one of nature’s most deceptive predators, the Giganticus Haggimus Tartantula.
At first glance, the Tartantula appears harmless. In fact, its most extraordinary adaptation is the natural tartan pattern woven into its abdomen, a phenomenon seen in no other species on Earth. Evolution has gifted it markings that uncannily resemble the face of a mature Highland Haggis.
From a distance, especially through mist, drizzle, or after two drams, the illusion is near perfect.
Unfortunately for the Haggis, this resemblance is no coincidence.
During mating season, a wandering Haggis may spot what it believes to be a well rounded, handsomely patterned partner wearing their tartan best. Drawn in by instinct and poor judgement, it approaches.
That is when the Tartantula reveals its second adaptation. Unlike ordinary spiders, the Tartantula delivers a venom affectionately known by field researchers as “Single Malt Paralytica.” The toxin does not kill instantly. Instead, it induces sudden warmth in the cheeks, uncontrollable confidence, singing of traditional ballads and a progressive loss of coordination.
The affected Haggis will stagger dramatically across the heather for several hours, convinced it is absolutely fine or maybe had one too many, while the Tartantula patiently follows at a measured pace.
Eventually, the Haggis succumbs, not to pain, but to an overwhelming need for a “wee lie doon.”
Only then does the Tartantula move in and consume.
Deep within the moss covered glens and heather covered Highlands lurks one of nature’s most deceptive predators, the Giganticus Haggimus Tartantula.
At first glance, the Tartantula appears harmless. In fact, its most extraordinary adaptation is the natural tartan pattern woven into its abdomen, a phenomenon seen in no other species on Earth. Evolution has gifted it markings that uncannily resemble the face of a mature Highland Haggis.
From a distance, especially through mist, drizzle, or after two drams, the illusion is near perfect.
Unfortunately for the Haggis, this resemblance is no coincidence.
During mating season, a wandering Haggis may spot what it believes to be a well rounded, handsomely patterned partner wearing their tartan best. Drawn in by instinct and poor judgement, it approaches.
That is when the Tartantula reveals its second adaptation. Unlike ordinary spiders, the Tartantula delivers a venom affectionately known by field researchers as “Single Malt Paralytica.” The toxin does not kill instantly. Instead, it induces sudden warmth in the cheeks, uncontrollable confidence, singing of traditional ballads and a progressive loss of coordination.
The affected Haggis will stagger dramatically across the heather for several hours, convinced it is absolutely fine or maybe had one too many, while the Tartantula patiently follows at a measured pace.
Eventually, the Haggis succumbs, not to pain, but to an overwhelming need for a “wee lie doon.”
Only then does the Tartantula move in and consume.
Grailhunter57
Member
- Location
- Farmington, Mo
Are you talking about a spider or scotch?
Trila
Well-known Member
- Location
- North Central Arkansas
Yes, yes, and.....YES!!!!
Furryanimal
Y gath o Gymru
- Location
- Wales
PET HAGGIS CARE NOTICE!!
WHISKY DRINKING POSTURE MATTERS
Many first time Haggis owners focus on diet, exercise, and regular hillside roaming, however leading experts are now warning that poor whisky drinking posture is becoming one of the biggest long term health risks facing domesticated Haggi across Scotland.
Veterinary specialists from the Highland Institute of Haggis Welfare have confirmed that allowing a Haggis to hunch forward while enjoying a dram can place unnecessary strain on the spine, particularly along the upper tartan vertebrae.
Over time this may lead to common age related conditions such as Chronic Glen Tilt, Lower Back Dreichness, Premature Whisky Waddle and in severe cases, Dram Induced Cold Shoulder.
Young Haggi often develop bad habits after copying older wild Haggis seen drinking directly from abandoned festival glasses or lying sideways outside village pubs. While this behaviour may look amusing, experts stress it can cause serious posture problems later in life.
A well trained Haggis should stand upright, core engaged, glass held securely in both paws, lifting the dram smoothly toward the mouth while maintaining a proud Highland stance.
The incorrect way is for to them to begin leaning forward, rounding the back, or attempting to “neck” the whisky in one go, behaviour most commonly observed after ceilidhs or Scotland rugby victories.
Owners are encouraged to supervise dram time, provide appropriately sized glasses, and limit intake to a responsible number of sips per evening unless it’s Hogmanay, where guidelines become legally unenforceable.
Remember, a Haggis cared for properly today is a Haggis still climbing hills, stealing teacakes, and judging tourists well into its later years. A straight spine means a longer dram filled life.
WHISKY DRINKING POSTURE MATTERS
Many first time Haggis owners focus on diet, exercise, and regular hillside roaming, however leading experts are now warning that poor whisky drinking posture is becoming one of the biggest long term health risks facing domesticated Haggi across Scotland.
Veterinary specialists from the Highland Institute of Haggis Welfare have confirmed that allowing a Haggis to hunch forward while enjoying a dram can place unnecessary strain on the spine, particularly along the upper tartan vertebrae.
Over time this may lead to common age related conditions such as Chronic Glen Tilt, Lower Back Dreichness, Premature Whisky Waddle and in severe cases, Dram Induced Cold Shoulder.
Young Haggi often develop bad habits after copying older wild Haggis seen drinking directly from abandoned festival glasses or lying sideways outside village pubs. While this behaviour may look amusing, experts stress it can cause serious posture problems later in life.
A well trained Haggis should stand upright, core engaged, glass held securely in both paws, lifting the dram smoothly toward the mouth while maintaining a proud Highland stance.
The incorrect way is for to them to begin leaning forward, rounding the back, or attempting to “neck” the whisky in one go, behaviour most commonly observed after ceilidhs or Scotland rugby victories.
Owners are encouraged to supervise dram time, provide appropriately sized glasses, and limit intake to a responsible number of sips per evening unless it’s Hogmanay, where guidelines become legally unenforceable.
Remember, a Haggis cared for properly today is a Haggis still climbing hills, stealing teacakes, and judging tourists well into its later years. A straight spine means a longer dram filled life.
Furryanimal
Y gath o Gymru
- Location
- Wales
The Scone of Destiny
The Scone of Destiny, also known as the Scone of Scone, remains one of Scotland’s most sacred and surprisingly delicious national treasures.
For centuries, this legendary ceremonial bake was used in the crowning of Scottish monarchs at the ancient royal site of Scone between the 9th and 13th centuries.
Historians state that no ruler could truly claim the throne unless crowned in the presence of the mighty Scone itself, symbolising strength, prosperity, and Scotland’s long standing belief that important decisions should never be made on an empty stomach.
In 1296, King Edward I of England removed the Scone during his invasion of Scotland and transported it to Westminster Abbey in London. English records controversially referred to it as a “stone,” though Scottish experts maintain this was either a translation error or a deliberate attempt to disguise its buttery superiority.
The Scone returned to international headlines in 1950 when four Scottish students famously reclaimed it from Westminster Abbey in a daring festive season operation. The group reportedly took great care during transport to prevent crumbling, proving that even acts of national defiance require proper baking preservation techniques.
In 1996, after more than 700 years away, the Scone was officially returned to Scotland, where it had a temporary stay in Edinburgh Castle. It has since been moved and is now proudly displayed at Perth Museum, close to its historic origins at Scone, where visitors can view the legendary ceremonial bake under careful protection from historians, tourists, and thieving hungry haggis.
Measuring approximately 26 by 16.7 by 10.5 inches and weighing an astonishing 335 pounds, the ceremonial Scone is believed to have been made from coarse oatmeal and traditional raising agents using a closely guarded royal recipe passed down through generations of Highland bakers.
Scholars remain fiercely divided on one final historical mystery, was it cream first or jam first? and how many conflicts throughout history began because of that very question?
The Scone of Destiny, also known as the Scone of Scone, remains one of Scotland’s most sacred and surprisingly delicious national treasures.
For centuries, this legendary ceremonial bake was used in the crowning of Scottish monarchs at the ancient royal site of Scone between the 9th and 13th centuries.
Historians state that no ruler could truly claim the throne unless crowned in the presence of the mighty Scone itself, symbolising strength, prosperity, and Scotland’s long standing belief that important decisions should never be made on an empty stomach.
In 1296, King Edward I of England removed the Scone during his invasion of Scotland and transported it to Westminster Abbey in London. English records controversially referred to it as a “stone,” though Scottish experts maintain this was either a translation error or a deliberate attempt to disguise its buttery superiority.
The Scone returned to international headlines in 1950 when four Scottish students famously reclaimed it from Westminster Abbey in a daring festive season operation. The group reportedly took great care during transport to prevent crumbling, proving that even acts of national defiance require proper baking preservation techniques.
In 1996, after more than 700 years away, the Scone was officially returned to Scotland, where it had a temporary stay in Edinburgh Castle. It has since been moved and is now proudly displayed at Perth Museum, close to its historic origins at Scone, where visitors can view the legendary ceremonial bake under careful protection from historians, tourists, and thieving hungry haggis.
Measuring approximately 26 by 16.7 by 10.5 inches and weighing an astonishing 335 pounds, the ceremonial Scone is believed to have been made from coarse oatmeal and traditional raising agents using a closely guarded royal recipe passed down through generations of Highland bakers.
Scholars remain fiercely divided on one final historical mystery, was it cream first or jam first? and how many conflicts throughout history began because of that very question?
Furryanimal
Y gath o Gymru
- Location
- Wales
Scotland Refuses To Take Part In National Grammar Day, Says “Naw”
Across the rest of the English speaking world today, people are celebrating National Grammar Day by carefully placing commas, correcting apostrophes, and arguing on the internet about the difference between your and you’re.
However here in Scotland, celebrations have reportedly been widely ignored.
Linguists say the main issue is that Scots generally write exactly how they talk, meaning many of the traditional English grammar rules tend to get launched straight oot the nearest windae.
“Apparently ye’re meant tae write ‘How are you doing today?’” explained local man Tam McDougall.
“But that just looks wrong. The correct spelling is clearly ‘Hows it gaun the day?"
Teachers across the country have been planning to attempt to mark the occasion by correcting common phrases such as
• Naw am no comin oot the night, it’s baltic.
• Yer da sells Avon.
• Ah’ll dae it the morra.
But most have given up before school starts after realising technically they were all grammatically correct… in Scotland.
Attempts to celebrate the day publicly didn’t go much better either. Earlier this morning a large banner reading “National Grammar Day” was proudly hung outside, near Edinburgh Castle, in an effort to promote proper punctuation.
Unfortunately within minutes a passing local reportedly took one look at it, shook their head, and spray painted a single word underneath before walking away.
The banner now simply reads
“Naw.”
Council officials say they are investigating the incident, although several witnesses claim the man was heard shouting,
“That’s ye're grah'm ur sorted for ya .”
Experts have also pointed out that Scots grammar actually has several advantages over traditional English grammar, including
• Fewer unnecessary letters
• Faster communication
• The ability to express an entire argument using only the word “Aye.”
As of 8am, Scotland’s National Grammar Day celebrations have been officially postponed.
Until then, the public have been encouraged to celebrate in the traditional Scottish way...By ignoring English grammar entirely and just writing how it sounds
Across the rest of the English speaking world today, people are celebrating National Grammar Day by carefully placing commas, correcting apostrophes, and arguing on the internet about the difference between your and you’re.
However here in Scotland, celebrations have reportedly been widely ignored.
Linguists say the main issue is that Scots generally write exactly how they talk, meaning many of the traditional English grammar rules tend to get launched straight oot the nearest windae.
“Apparently ye’re meant tae write ‘How are you doing today?’” explained local man Tam McDougall.
“But that just looks wrong. The correct spelling is clearly ‘Hows it gaun the day?"
Teachers across the country have been planning to attempt to mark the occasion by correcting common phrases such as
• Naw am no comin oot the night, it’s baltic.
• Yer da sells Avon.
• Ah’ll dae it the morra.
But most have given up before school starts after realising technically they were all grammatically correct… in Scotland.
Attempts to celebrate the day publicly didn’t go much better either. Earlier this morning a large banner reading “National Grammar Day” was proudly hung outside, near Edinburgh Castle, in an effort to promote proper punctuation.
Unfortunately within minutes a passing local reportedly took one look at it, shook their head, and spray painted a single word underneath before walking away.
The banner now simply reads
“Naw.”
Council officials say they are investigating the incident, although several witnesses claim the man was heard shouting,
“That’s ye're grah'm ur sorted for ya .”
Experts have also pointed out that Scots grammar actually has several advantages over traditional English grammar, including
• Fewer unnecessary letters
• Faster communication
• The ability to express an entire argument using only the word “Aye.”
As of 8am, Scotland’s National Grammar Day celebrations have been officially postponed.
Until then, the public have been encouraged to celebrate in the traditional Scottish way...By ignoring English grammar entirely and just writing how it sounds
Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
Furryanimal
Y gath o Gymru
- Location
- Wales
Scottish Scientists Discover Medical Breakthrough Now Known as “Co-Haggulation”
In what researchers are calling a historic leap forward in medicine, scientists in Scotland have discovered that haggis blood, already famous for its naturally high whisky content, has a remarkable ability to help wounds clot almost instantly.
The process, now officially named “Co-Haggulation,” was identified after researchers studying the physiology of wild Highland haggis noticed that injuries among the creatures seemed to seal unusually quickly.
After further investigation, the explanation became clear.
Haggis blood contains a unique blend of natural clotting proteins and a steady infusion of whisky absorbed through their diet of fermented heather and stolen whisky. When applied to wounds, the whisky disinfects the injury while the blood’s natural properties rapidly trigger clotting.
Lead researcher Professor Hamish McDabble explained,
“Normally blood just coagulates. But when ye add haggis blood… it co-haggulates faster than ever seen in testing done before”
Early testing has shown remarkable results, with minor cuts sealing quickly and patients reporting only faint scarring to wounds.
However, the discovery has raised immediate concerns among conservationists.
Because haggis hunting is strictly illegal outside the traditional January hunting season, experts fear the medical breakthrough could spark an underground black market in illicit haggis blood.
Wildlife groups have already warned that desperate poachers may begin roaming the Highlands with syringes and hip flasks.
To prevent this, the Scottish Government has launched a new initiative aimed directly at haggis communities.
Rather than allowing illegal harvesting, officials are encouraging voluntary participation in official Haggis Donor Days, where haggis are invited to attend specially prepared hillside clinics to safely donate small amounts of blood for medical use.
In exchange, each participating haggis will receive a complimentary bottle of whisky to replace the liquid removed from their bloodstream.
A spokesperson for the programme stated
“It’s a simple system. They give a wee dram of blood, we give them a wee dram of whisky. Everybody leaves happy and slightly more wobbly.”
Early reports suggest the scheme has already attracted interest from several Highland haggis herds, although organisers admit some attendees appeared to arrive already mildly intoxicated, and asking for a kebab, obviously haggis aren't known for their spelling ability.
Doctors hope Co-Haggulation could soon revolutionise emergency medicine across Scotland, particularly for injuries sustained during drunken nights out or midgie attacks.
Officials have one clear warning for the public though,
Do not attempt to harvest haggis blood yourself.
Not only is it illegal outside January…
…but the haggis union has made it very clear they will bite back
In what researchers are calling a historic leap forward in medicine, scientists in Scotland have discovered that haggis blood, already famous for its naturally high whisky content, has a remarkable ability to help wounds clot almost instantly.
The process, now officially named “Co-Haggulation,” was identified after researchers studying the physiology of wild Highland haggis noticed that injuries among the creatures seemed to seal unusually quickly.
After further investigation, the explanation became clear.
Haggis blood contains a unique blend of natural clotting proteins and a steady infusion of whisky absorbed through their diet of fermented heather and stolen whisky. When applied to wounds, the whisky disinfects the injury while the blood’s natural properties rapidly trigger clotting.
Lead researcher Professor Hamish McDabble explained,
“Normally blood just coagulates. But when ye add haggis blood… it co-haggulates faster than ever seen in testing done before”
Early testing has shown remarkable results, with minor cuts sealing quickly and patients reporting only faint scarring to wounds.
However, the discovery has raised immediate concerns among conservationists.
Because haggis hunting is strictly illegal outside the traditional January hunting season, experts fear the medical breakthrough could spark an underground black market in illicit haggis blood.
Wildlife groups have already warned that desperate poachers may begin roaming the Highlands with syringes and hip flasks.
To prevent this, the Scottish Government has launched a new initiative aimed directly at haggis communities.
Rather than allowing illegal harvesting, officials are encouraging voluntary participation in official Haggis Donor Days, where haggis are invited to attend specially prepared hillside clinics to safely donate small amounts of blood for medical use.
In exchange, each participating haggis will receive a complimentary bottle of whisky to replace the liquid removed from their bloodstream.
A spokesperson for the programme stated
“It’s a simple system. They give a wee dram of blood, we give them a wee dram of whisky. Everybody leaves happy and slightly more wobbly.”
Early reports suggest the scheme has already attracted interest from several Highland haggis herds, although organisers admit some attendees appeared to arrive already mildly intoxicated, and asking for a kebab, obviously haggis aren't known for their spelling ability.
Doctors hope Co-Haggulation could soon revolutionise emergency medicine across Scotland, particularly for injuries sustained during drunken nights out or midgie attacks.
Officials have one clear warning for the public though,
Do not attempt to harvest haggis blood yourself.
Not only is it illegal outside January…
…but the haggis union has made it very clear they will bite back
Furryanimal
Y gath o Gymru
- Location
- Wales
Furryanimal
Y gath o Gymru
- Location
- Wales
Trila
Well-known Member
- Location
- North Central Arkansas
I've seen several of these videos. Always my favorite!
Trila
Well-known Member
- Location
- North Central Arkansas
The shoes on the Danube monument