Just keep your panties zipped

Rich said:
Were you aware that congress actually keeps a fund, managed by the Office of Congressional Workplace Rights (OCWR) for settling these sorts of lawsuits:
Congress has historically spent between $17–18 million total since 1997 on workplace‑related settlements, including sexual harassment, and more recent disclosures show at least $338,000 in sexual‑misconduct‑related payouts over the past 10–20 years.
To be fair that fund covered:
  • Sexual harassment and misconduct claims
  • Discrimination claims
  • Workplace safety disputes
  • Other employment‑related cases
So the sexual‑misconduct portion is only a subset of the total. However, the point is, congress has a fund that pays for sexual misconduct lawsuits filed against members. One has to wonder how they justify this...
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No, I wasn't aware of what you're pointing out. Due to forum rules, I'm not allowed to name the principal official at the forefront of my mind, but AI says his impeachment defense costing 2.3 million was paid for from his campaign funds, with the divorce that followed paid for from the couple's community assets.
 
VaughanJB said:
Firstly, thank you for understanding the intent of my last few posts in the thread. No excuses, just understanding.

I agree, one person is often painted as the villain, why the other gets a pass. I just wonder how often that would truly hold up to scrutiny. If one was perfectly happy in their marriage, had both love and respect for their partner, then are they truly susceptible to another person outside the marriage? I tend to think not. In fact, I tend to think such a commitment would be self-evident through actions and words.

Betrayal is betrayal. But I wonder if, looking back, the other partner could really look back and not suspect their partner might look elsewhere for joy. How often is it truly a complete shock, and even if it is, after examination, it holds up.

If a relationship is completely open, great communication, great openness - then how did this one flaw escape notice?
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They get less attention when a baby comes.
 
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There are lots of instances, over here about this kind of
misconduct, mainly in TV or Radio stations, the person
concerned is sacked.

What I have noticed, is that it is men with other men, or
with a woman, or with a child!

It is never a woman with another woman, not yet, but who
knows, some cases are historical.

Mike.
 
Jules said:
Someone said to me that people shouldn’t stay together if one of them is unhappy. You don’t have to go through life not being happy.

Maybe there’s some truth in this, but the other person needs to be told that there are issues. Imo, if you’ve made a commitment you should at least try to work on it. No surprises.
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I agree - you dont have to go through life being unhappy.

But you do need to try to work on the issues first - and you do need to have left the relationship before starting another one.
 
outlander said:
I hope I don't step on any toes here?

Extramarital affairs represents the behavior of a loser and a liar, plain and simple, no excuse for it.
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I've known a marriage where the wife constantly belittled her husband in front of people, saying he was too stupid to pass the Air Force tests for enlisted men so he couldn't get promoted, making their little girl think she was ugly might never get married because she had red hair, talking non-stop and always complaining.

It was clear that he stayed with her to care for and protect his child. When he got stationed in the Phillippines she refused to go with him because she was openly racist and didn't want to live among "those people." He went by himself, fell in love with a nice Asian girl, had an affair and eventually they were divorced. None of us thought he was a liar or a loser. We all thought he had a good excuse.

I know a woman who was used as an unpaid housekeeper by her husband. He was very demanding, the house and meals had to be perfect, he never gave her any money. She told me he hadn't touched her or shown the slightest bit of affection toward her in ten years. She was staying "for the children," when she met a man at her job and had an affair. I thought he deserved it.

Usually the person who cheats is just a cheater, with no self-control and lots of self-serving justifications, but I think there are situations where the "victim" has set the marriage up for failure.
 
Della said:
I know a woman who was used as an unpaid housekeeper by her husband. He was very demanding, the house and meals had to be perfect, he never gave her any money. She told me he hadn't touched her or shown the slightest bit of affection toward her in ten years. She was staying "for the children," when she met a man at her job and had an affair. I thought he deserved it.

Usually the person who cheats is just a cheater, with no self-control and lots of self-serving justifications, but I think there are situations where the "victim" has set the marriage up for failure.
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This is the situation of my parents. My dad cheated on my mom constantly and toward the end of their marriage, she was lonely and in despair and had an affair that resulted in pregnancy. So my dad instantly used that as an excuse to dump her and insisted on sole custody of us kids; he threatened her that if she had tried to get even joint custody of us kids that he would go to jail before he gave her a dime of child support. (But he kept telling us how much he loved us kids. Yeah, right, Dad, you'd've been okay with us starving, though. Jerk.)

And it breaks my heart that Mom didn't fight for at least joint custody but back in those days, they didn't go after guys that weren't paying child support at all. I don't think my dad would've really gone to jail but I think he would've fled the state. So she knew there'd be no money for support.
 
Mike said:
There are lots of instances, over here about this kind of
misconduct, mainly in TV or Radio stations, the person
concerned is sacked.

What I have noticed, is that it is men with other men, or
with a woman, or with a child!

It is never a woman with another woman, not yet, but who
knows, some cases are historical.

Mike.
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One of the previous Premiers of the Province of Ontario (Think like a US State Governor ) came out at age 61 as a lesbian. Catherine Wynn had been married to a man, had several children with him, and suddenly announced that she had all ways been carrying on a love affair with her long ago University room mate. Imagine what that did to her adult daughter's public profile. Needless to say, she lost the next Provincial election, and had to step down as Premier. JIMB>
 
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