18 Months to Retirement and Beyond

CinnamonSugar said:
Advent is here... I hoped to have friends over each Sunday (or at least one day a week) for lunch, light the appropriate # of candles on the advent wreath, and generally have a relaxed, pleasant visit.

Two weeks ago I put written invitations in two of my immediate neighbors mailboxes, inviting them to come over Dec. 1st and asking for an RSVP. Never heard anything back from either of them. Also (in person) invited a lady from church, who doesn't have any local family that I know of. I tried calling her yesterday to verify whether she could make it; left a voice mail. No response.

The reason I'm writing this here is not to have a pity party but to say my response to all this has been very different than it would have been 5-10 years ago. I'd have been anxious, wondered what I'd done wrong to be snubbed, fixated on "I'll never be good at The Social Thing." All I feel is wish they could have made it but I'm not decimated.

Nice to be able to report some progress =)
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Not to make excuses for anyone; however, you never know what people are going through. But the least they could have done was acknowledge the invitation even if they had to decline.
 

Well, this is turning into my 'pat myself on the back' thread, haha

But seriously, I have struggled with assertiveness and social interaction all my life and when I feel like I made progress I need to share =)

I've been playing Words with Friends; a gentleman started a game last week and I accepted. But immediately, there's all kind of chatting going on... personal questions. I told him I wasn't really into talking about personal things, especially so quickly. He said he understood and I guess the *really* personal questions have stopped but still, every time I go to play, there's a very jovial, oh-so-chummy comments.

it's just too much for me... I tend to be more formal until I get to know someone better.

And I've gotten to the point I'm not ashamed to say so... 🙌

I put on the chat thingy that I wasn't comfortable with the whole buddy-buddy comments, I am resigning from the game, and I hope he found someone else more in line with his out-going personality. Then I stopped the game

Sometimes you just gotta go with your gut feeling, even if it comes across as possibly not very polite.
 

CinnamonSugar said:
Sometimes you just gotta go with your gut feeling, even if it comes across as possibly not very polite.
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*Nothing* at all wrong with following your intuition in things like this... it will serve you well. If this guy was making you uncomfortable with his digging/questions, there's no reason at all to keep putting yourself in that position. I didn't know you have a diary going! I'm putting it on watch. (y)
 
CinnamonSugar said:
Well, this is turning into my 'pat myself on the back' thread, haha

But seriously, I have struggled with assertiveness and social interaction all my life and when I feel like I made progress I need to share =)

I've been playing Words with Friends; a gentleman started a game last week and I accepted. But immediately, there's all kind of chatting going on... personal questions. I told him I wasn't really into talking about personal things, especially so quickly. He said he understood and I guess the *really* personal questions have stopped but still, every time I go to play, there's a very jovial, oh-so-chummy comments.

it's just too much for me... I tend to be more formal until I get to know someone better.

And I've gotten to the point I'm not ashamed to say so... 🙌

I put on the chat thingy that I wasn't comfortable with the whole buddy-buddy comments, I am resigning from the game, and I hope he found someone else more in line with his out-going personality. Then I stopped the game

Sometimes you just gotta go with your gut feeling, even if it comes across as possibly not very polite.
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Good for you speaking up! 👏

You want to have fun with the game, not trying to avoid unwelcome conversation.
 
CinnamonSugar said:
Well, this is turning into my 'pat myself on the back' thread, haha

But seriously, I have struggled with assertiveness and social interaction all my life and when I feel like I made progress I need to share =)

I've been playing Words with Friends; a gentleman started a game last week and I accepted. But immediately, there's all kind of chatting going on... personal questions. I told him I wasn't really into talking about personal things, especially so quickly. He said he understood and I guess the *really* personal questions have stopped but still, every time I go to play, there's a very jovial, oh-so-chummy comments.

it's just too much for me... I tend to be more formal until I get to know someone better.

And I've gotten to the point I'm not ashamed to say so... 🙌

I put on the chat thingy that I wasn't comfortable with the whole buddy-buddy comments, I am resigning from the game, and I hope he found someone else more in line with his out-going personality. Then I stopped the game

Sometimes you just gotta go with your gut feeling, even if it comes across as possibly not very polite.
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First let me say, you are my favorite WWF competitor....worthy "adversary" for sure! :D I learned after accepting a few challenges from men, that they usually want to start chatting with the personal questions. "Where are you from" is usually the first one. Another clue for me is their first play is usually 6 points or under. I did like you once and let the guy know I don't chat with people I don't know personally, but he kept persisting with the chat. I resigned also. Now I simply don't accept challenges from men I do not know.

And it's okay to pat yourself on the back. Hey if you don't appreciate yourself and mnention your accomplishments, how would we know to appreciate you too? :D Well....I would because of WWF.
 
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OneEyedDiva said:
First let me say, you are my favorite WWF challenger....worthy "adversary" for sure! :D I learned after accepting a few challenges from men, that they usually want to start chatting, with the personal questions. "Where are you from" is usually the first one. Another clue for me is their first play is usually 6 points or under. I did like you once and let the guy know I don't chat with people I don't know personally, but he kept persisting with the chat. I resigned also. Now I simply don't accept challenges from men I do not know.

And it's okay to pat yourself on the back. Hey if you don't appreciate yourself and mnention your accomplishments, how would we know to appreciate you too? :D Well....I would because of WWF.
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Aw, that’s so sweet of you, Diva 😊. And I’m not really surprised to find this is not an unusual situation (men chatting). Thanks
 
Wow, I can't believe it's been like 9 months since I wrote anything here. There've been ups and downs... Hurricane Helene and the repairs from that are still a work in progress (read that, "When I get the $$$$$," haha) I have big ideas about my home, my social life, my kids and traveling... and very little of it is going according to plan. (See ⬆️ above reason) Unfortunately, for every few dollars I save by not buying something, it seems like there is an exponentially larger bill/repair/need that has to be dealt with.

One thing I really want to aim for is a trip to visit younger daughter in New Brunswick, Canada next fall. It will take planning and savings (and probably--undoubtedly--some divine intervention). I'll probably use this platform to help me plan and strategize.
 
@CinnamonSugar I don't blame you one bit for quitting that game. Men on some of these sites aren't so much there to play as they are to look for "a good time." It's creepy. I've been doing most of my gaming as a male character to help avoid some of that.

Had a guy on Seven Seas Casino that wouldn't quit pestering me so I made a new account as a man and have had no trouble.

So how has retirement been? I lost touch with you in email for a while. Are you loving it?
 
Fritz said:
@CinnamonSugar I don't blame you one bit for quitting that game. Men on some of these sites aren't so much there to play as they are to look for "a good time." It's creepy. I've been doing most of my gaming as a male character to help avoid some of that.

Had a guy on Seven Seas Casino that wouldn't quit pestering me so I made a new account as a man and have had no trouble.

So how has retirement been? I lost touch with you in email for a while. Are you loving it?
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Love it most of the time…
 
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