24/7 Live in Caretaker is asked to pay rent

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kingsman27

New Member
I am a 55 yr old male, a year ago, moved in with my 57 yr old sister and my 79 yr old mother, to help my sister take care of my mom. I learned quickly that my sister is not taking care of my mom-So I take on the daily tasks, making moms meals, Clean up after mom, Oversee taking her medications, driving mom to/from Doctors, Shopping, etc., Making appointments, Interact with nurses and doctors that come to the house etc Watch TV with her and keep her company. Mom has type 2 diabetes, a hole in her lower chest (result from a car accident, my sister was driving) An on-going Internal Infection, suffers from Depression, and cannot walk on her own for more than 4 steps.
The problem is my sister, The homeowner, states I am living there rent-free (I Sleep on the couch, Buy my own food, do laundry once a week, Shower 3X week) and is demanding I pay rent, My mom pays all the bills for the house, and mom is not asking me to pay rent.
A Personal Care Aide earn an average $11.00 an hour, Should I submit a bill to my sister? Do not know what to do
 

kingsman27 said:
I am a 55 yr old male, a year ago, moved in with my 57 yr old sister and my 79 yr old mother, to help my sister take care of my mom. I learned quickly thnat my sister is not taking care of my mom-So I take on the daily tasks, making moms meals, taking her medications, driving mom to/from Doctors, Shopping, etc., Making appointments, Interact with nurses and doctors that come to the house etc Watch TV with her and keep her company. Mom has type 2 diabetes, a hole in her lower chest (result from a car accident, my sister was driving) An on-going Internal Infection, suffers from Depression, and cannot walk on her own for more than 4 steps.
The problem is my sister, The homeowner, states I am living there rent-free (I Sleep on the couch) and is demanding I pay rent, My mom pays all the bills for the house, and mom is not asking me to pay rent.
A Personal Care Aide earn an average $11.00 an hour, Should I submit a bill to my sister? Do not know what to do
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Look up the original rent agreement if you can to find out what the legal part of the rent states.

Have yourself certified as a care giver.

Your sister is the landowner and is insisting you pay rent?

She should be paying you instead.
 

It sounds to me like there may be a little more to this story but I think that all three of you should contribute to the operation of the household and that you and your sister should each help with your mother's care.

Good luck to all three of you!
 
Aunt Bea said:
It sounds to me like there may be a little more to this story but I think that all three of you should contribute to the operation of the household and that you and your sister should each help with your mother's care.

Good luck to all three of you!
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I agree... plus there is the issue of what your sister may have done on her own for your mom for all those years you weren't around to help out. She may feel you have some ground to make up?
 
Medicare will probably pay you as caretaker for your mother if she qualifies and it sounds like she would. Of course your sister might try to claim she is the caretaker. Youi might quietly check with medicare and/or your mother's doctor.

The rent situation is a tough one. Is your sister charging your mother rent?
 
Yes you can pay rent but ensure she is working additional days or otherwise, will pay you for doing her part of the care.
Otherwise her house is part of what she is contributing to Moms care so if she wants TO NOT contribute that part any longer, then she'll need to contribute in other ways to make up for it.
Such as taking care of mom a few more days per week, so if you pay rent, you will share mom care 50/50. That will also allow you to be out of the house working maybe 1-2 days per week somewhere getting a break from them both. Thank your sis for her brilliant idea while asking her what days she prefers to add on to caring for mom. Unless she's cared for her longer than you, but just make sure it is even steven
 
It sounds like the three of you need to sit down and figure out how it's all going to work. It might not be pleasant, but it's important. You're not all on the same page and when you work it out, you or your sister might not be completely happy, but it's not going to get better until all of you put your cards on the table and try to hammer out an agreement.
 

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